Ramblings of a Grieving Mind
Genre: Angst, Grief
Summary: Luke's thoughts and torment after Mara's Funeral. Sorry guys, after feeling my own loss today, this just came out. Hope it's not too much of a downer!! Feedback is food; flames will be used to heat my house! Be nice, this is my first fic.
Disclaimer: Don't own Star Wars, or anything remotely related! All will bow to the almighty Flanneled One!!
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Here I sit, still breathing, but I don't know why. All I needed to say is stuck in my throat, never to be said. For it is now too late. The moment has passed us by. Never again to see your face, to hear your voice, or feel your presence. All the power in the 'verse, and I couldn't stop time. Time. The one constant, the one variable we cannot control.
If I had known that this was to come to the end today, would I have said or done anything different? Would I have taken the time to say those words one last time? To let you know, beyond the doubts and shadows how I feel, how much I need your presence, your laugh, your touch? To lay with you and know that you will be there in the morning, still caring, still loving me, even with my imperfections. How was I to know that this was the end? How could I have not foreseen this tragedy?
Always in motion, is the future. Well, now that motion has no meaning for me. What is the point of continuing, without you to light my way? I have to say, I never thought I could be this lost. Just when you think you have experienced it all, here comes something you hope never to live through. Oh, Mara!! Why did you have to leave me??
The sun rises and the sun sets. One is born, another dies. What kind of cycle is this? Do you want to live forever, good luck! No one ever does. Why is fate so cruel? You were taken so soon after I discovered how much I needed you. You were always there for me, and I took it for granted. That you would be there for me, my constant, my sounding board. You saw only the best that was in me and helped me get over my faults. Why did you have to leave me?
That's the cycle. The sun rises and the sun sets. The cycle will continue, long after even I am gone. But that doesn't mean that I have to like it. I hate it more than anything. Maybe someday I will finally accept it. The balance will continue.