I don't own Hannah Montana or any of the characters.
A/N: I got the idea for this from Lilly's line in "People Who Use People." She says that Oliver used to like cake more than girls, and then lets him run to get a piece of cake. I also remembered in "Miley Get Your Gum" that Miley reminds Oliver that he once knocked her into a pool in his race for the end cut of an ice cream log, and the story kind of evolved from there.
"What do you mean you don't want to go to the party with my? We already went in on the present together!" Lilly crossed her arms in front of her chest and narrowed her eyes at her best friend. "What's going on?"
"Nothing." Oliver just threw his math book into the locker and started to walk down the hallway.
"Are you mad at me? 'Cause I'm pretty sure I didn't do anything to you today…" Lilly trailed off as she hurried to catch up with him, "Or are you mad that Miley didn't chip in on Johnny's present too? I told her she didn't have to cause she's not going to the party. She left for that family thing right after lunch and she's not going to be back until Thursday."
"What? Didn't they just visit her uncle last month?" Oliver looked a little confused; Lilly just shrugged. "I'm not mad at you or Miley. I'm not even mad!" Oliver's eyes flashed though, making Lilly wonder what was going on if he was not considering bodily harm for either her or their other best friend. "I just thought I'd have my mom drop me off at the party instead."
"I thought your mom had to work. You said she was helping on a big case."
"Yeah. I'll just be there a little early, that's all." Now he was starting to sound a little shifty.
"You're going to show up early to a birthday party… for another thirteen year old boy?" Lilly's eyebrows raised and she cut in front of him, blocking his exit to the parking lot. "Oliver Oken, I've known you for so long, and you never said anything! Why didn't you tell me how you felt about Johnny? You really should have said something. Best friends don't keep secrets." She smiled sweetly at him, still making sure to stay between him and the door.
"Very funny, Lilly." Oliver took a step toward her, but she held her ground.
"Oh, look," came the sing-song voice of Amber Addison. "It's a couple of dorks who just can't bear to leave the school for a whole week!" Giggling followed the statement.
"Emphasis on the couple!" Amber and her partner in crime Ashley Dewitt exclaimed in perfect sync.
"So that's what this is about. It's spring break, we don't have to listen to them for a whole week. You should be excited." Lilly ignored the sound of the two girls reveling in Oliver's misery, and allowed him to go through the school door. "You do know that nobody actually thinks we're a couple? I mean, come on."
"Yeah? When was the last time a guy asked you out?"
"Oliver, we're in the seventh grade. I have plenty of time. Guys aren't exactly going to be banging down my door… yet." She rolled her eyes and they walked together to her mother's car. "So, did you want to find another way home too, or is it okay to be in a car with me?"
"Forget it. We can talk about it later."
Lilly just laughed as she opened the passenger door.
The next day, Lilly was lying on a towel at the beach, trying to decide between a new "Teen Trend" magazine or the book she was supposed to read for English. She has promised her mom she would not surf until she read the first two chapters of her English assignment, but the magazine did have pictures. Sighing, she opened the book, just as a shadow fell across her.
"Okay. You were right. I was being stupid, and I don't want to show up at the party an hour before everyone else."
She peered up at Oliver, and looked as though she was actually considering what he said. "No, I think you were right. I don't want anyone to think I'm dating you. How embarrassing, especially since you have mustard on your shirt there. What did you do? Stop to get a hotdog on your way to apologize?" Her voice was riddled with sarcasm, and she turned her eyes back to her book.
"Come on, Lilly. If you had to listen to Amber and Ashley all day, everyday, you'd be annoyed too. I have all of my classes with them this year, well, except for gym."
"I know. Actually, I have an idea. Because I'm your best friend, and I don't want you to be completely miserable, I actually thought about your problem for more than five seconds." Lilly placed her book down on her stomach. "We'll just add Miley's name to the tag, so people won't have any crazy ideas about it being a "couple" gift. And, I know I'm like, the coolest person ever, but you have to make an effort to hang out with other people at the party, especially other girls. I'll stay out of your way. Problem solved."
"That's actually not a bad idea."
"I know. I'm a genius."
"A genius who's failing her math class."
"I'm not failing. I got a D plus on my last quiz."
"So, it really doesn't bother you? People saying… you know?" Oliver looked a little uncomfortable broaching the subject at all. Lilly just shrugged her shoulders.
"I guess people don't tease me about that as much as you. I never really noticed. Maybe people are more scared of me."
They thought that over for a second, and then spent the afternoon flipping through her magazine to find out if Oliver looked better in a one or two piece bathing suit and what eye shadow would best bring out the color of his eyes. Oliver resolved (for the hundredth time) that he needed to start hanging out with more guys again because Miley was clearly having too much of an influence on the girl parts of Lilly's brain.
"I can't believe you wrapped Johnny's present in purple paper!" Oliver thrust the box into Lilly's hands as though it were infected with some sort of disease he would rather not catch.
"It's all I had, other than Christmas stuff. I couldn't use little elves when his birthday is in March!" She rolled her eyes while they walked around the two-story house to a pool in the back. "By the way," Lilly whispered harshly, "if it turns out to be an ice cream cake, I better not end up in the pool like Miley two weeks ago."
"You two are never going to let that go, are you? I thought you would understand. Hello! It was an ice cream log!"
"Yeah, yeah. I know."
After wishing Johnny a happy birthday, they separated. Lilly spent a large part of her time listening to a girl named Becca talk about her new favorite singer: Hannah Montana. Apparently, Becca's parents had taken her to the rising pop star's concert Friday night and the performance was "totally awesome." Oliver, on the other hand, decided to spend his day throwing around a frisbee with some of the guys and eating as many hot dogs as his stomach could handle. He had also been turned down by every girl he approached, and when the cake was served, he found himself seated at a table with Lilly since most of the other girls were now ignoring him.
"How's it going?" Lilly smiled encouragingly.
"What do you mean?" Oliver spoke around a mouthful of cake.
"I avoided you all day. I just wanted to know how Smokin' Oken did with the ladies."
"I think you know that they all shot him down, even though they clearly want him." As he spoke, Oliver sprayed bits of marbled cake over the surface of the table.
"Clearly," Lilly responded blandly, pulling her plate out of the range of flying cake. "Maybe you should work on trying to keep all of the food in your mouth. That might help." She scraped some of the frosting from one section of her slice before continuing, "Cheer up. At least it's great cake."
"Yeah, cake is awesome. I do like chocolate frosting better normally, but this is pretty sweet."
Lilly laughed a little. "And the cake will never turn you down."
"Or tell me I'm gross or that it hates me." Oliver lifted his fork in a mock toast.
"That cake will go straight to your hips though," Amber's voice taunted.
"Yeah, Lilly, you really should watch the carbs," Ashley chimed in. Standing next to the table, the two girls were wearing matching shorts and rhinestoned bathing suits.
"Oh, please." Lilly rolled her eyes for what felt like the millionth time that afternoon, and worked on ignoring them. She had attempted to avoid them for most of the day just for this reason. Other than a slight argument over the prime spot for tanning, she had succeeded.
"No one cares how skinny you are," Oliver said to all three girls. "Your hips are fine." He directed his last statement at Lilly, and her eyes widened at the words. "I'm not helping myself, am I?" She shook her head.
"Help with what?" Ashley looked genuinely confused at the way the conversation was going.
"Whatever, let's go." Amber led her away to annoy someone else who sat below them on the social ladder.
After a moment of silence, Lilly remarked, "is it me, or are their insults getting more lame?" She took another bite of her cake.
"Yeah, I don't get those girls at all," Oliver said while turning back to his cake.
"Those girls? You don't get any girls."
"At least I'll always have cake." He shrugged.
"Well, here's to that." The two toasted their forks, and finished their slices in a companionable silence until the next Frisbee match started.