His eyes snap open, breath fast and ragged. Ceiling, Kodachi, the gray beginnings of daylight seeping through the rice paper. He imagines he can still smell the burning of the Gatling gun from his dream, feel the heat of the body that shielded him. A splash of color in the corner of his eye. A small paper ball. His heart slows.
A deeper breath. Two more and his defenses are in place. Jaw set. Contained. Aioshi dresses quickly and leaves for the temple. It is getting easier to control.
...
Misao feels the light change, the warmth of sunlight spreading across her bedroll. She stretches like a cat, first toes, then ankles, legs, hips, back, shoulders, arms, neck. A deep breath and, up. She pulls herself out of the futon and slides her sleeping yukata off her shoulders, pulling on a light kimono over her ninja uniform. Okon may insist that she wear kimono now, but Misao ties the obi carefully so that she can shed the material in a heartbeat should she need better movement. She glances out her window to see Aoshi returning from the temple, she hurries toward the kitchen to prepare his morning tea.
...
Aoshi settles into his office chair. The light scent of paper and ink soothes him. He senses someone approaching the door. The corners of his mouth tilt towards a smile and then fade, the step drags slightly. It isn't Misao.
"Okina. Come in." Aoshi greets just before the old man can knock.
"Good morning Okashira."
Although it has been nearly two years since he resumed his role as leader, the title still grates at his ear, especially from Okina. Aoshi stares at the old man, waiting for him to continue.
"I think that it is time that we discussed the future of the Oniwabanshu." Okina says softly, shutting the door behind him. Aoshi straitens in his chair.
"As I've said, Okina, there will be no future for the Oniwabanshu. It will end with us. We shall recruit no new members. We shall make a home for those that are left and then we shall fade into this new era and let this new government do their job."
"There will always be an Oniwabanshu to protect the city whether you choose to let us fade or not. Others will step in as they did in your absence." Okina replies softly. "But, I did not come to have this argument this morning." Okina pulls three bound scrolls from his sleeve and sets them lightly upon the table.
Aoshi opens each one slowly and reads the contents carefully. He turns his eyes towards Okina, awaiting an explanation.
"The first offer comes from the northern ninja clan. Misao ran into them doing reconnaissance work for that smuggling ring last spring. The leader's brother took quite a shine to her…" Okina trails off.
"No." Aoshi tilts the scroll into the candle and watches it burn out on a small length of metal on the side of his desk.
"The second offer comes from the Omura family. They are fairly wealthy, merchants. They educate their daughters and their first born is a regular customer. He has been trying to get Misao's attention for over a year."
Aoshi sets the scroll net to his brush set and nods for Okina to continue.
"The third offer comes from Tsutomu, Saito's eldest son. Like his father he enjoys a reputation for exceptional sword skills and a firm sense of justice. Unlike his father, he is well liked among his fellow police officers and throughout the city. He is also quite handsome… "
Aoshi pauses, holding the scroll over the candle.
"Of course, his father only grudgingly supports his courtship of Misao ever since Tsutomu was injured protecting Misao during the joint police action we assisted with last October." Okina continues.
Aoshi turns his hand, setting the scroll next to his set of brushes.
"Okina, have you spoken to Misao about these marriage proposals?" Aoshi asks.
"Oh, I would not presume to supplant the Okashira for that discussion." Okina's smile curls under his mustache as he turns and steps quickly out the door.
...
Aoshi hears her coming down the hall, her footsteps lighter than they used to be, the tea tray rattling slightly. He takes a deep breath before she steps to the door.
"Come in Misao."
She enters, setting the tray down, and begins to prepare the tea. Her fingers move deftly with the small whisk and she smiles softly at the pleasure of sharing this moment with Aoshi. Aoshi nods for her to sit and she pours two steaming cups of green tea. Aoshi sips the tea lightly, enjoying the feel of the warm liquid. His throat feels thick. He pulls the two scrolls to the center of his desk.
"Misao. It is time we discussed your future."
Her heart leaps. She nearly drops her teacup as she desperately tries to contain the rising sense of giddiness. Finally, finally he will ask her. She bites the inside of her bottom lip to remain poised.
"You're of an age now where marriage is a consideration. Do you wish to marry Misao?"
"Yes." She says breathlessly,unable to contain the smile pulling at the corners of her mouth. Aoshi regards her carefully, with a slow blink.
"Very well. Okina has brought two offers of marriage that we should discuss."
Aoshi pushes the two scrolls toward Misao. A sense of dread trickles down Misao's spine. Suddenly her throat feels dry and raspy. She slowly takes another sip of tea before unrolling and reading through both scrolls. She ruthlessly presses back the burning feeling behind her eyes. She will not cry in front of him. She takes another slow slip of her tea, feeling the heat of the cup through her lips, forcing herself to breath slowly, to stay in control.
"I will consider these." Surprised that her voice sounds steady, Misao gives a quick bow, and ducks out of the room, leaving the tea tray.
In the hallway she breaths deeply through her nose, resisting the urge to run down the hall. Her feet bring her to her room and she shuts the shoji softly before collapsing, biting her fist to contain the sobs. Her body shakes softly and the hot tears stream down her face.
In his office, Aoshi looks at the abandoned tea cup and slightly crumpled scrolls. He feels the tremble in his hands as he rolls the scrolls closed. He takes a breath to steady himself and forces the scalding green tea down his throat.
...
Long after everyone else has gone to bed, Misao presses together rice balls in the dark quiet of the empty kitchen. She hadn't come down to dinner that night. She stops as she hears the creak of the saki cabinet.
"Okina, you might as well come out. I know you're there." Misao says softly.
"Ah. Just a nip to aid sleep." Okina grins sheepishly and starts toward the door.
"Okina, you knew my parents before I was born, right?" Misao asks. He pauses and turns back toward the kitchen, setting out a saki cup and sitting by the counter.
"Why do you ask Misao?"
"Was my mother… happy when she married?"
"That is an impossible question to answer…" Misao's face falls.
"Okina, you must have had some impression… if she loved…"
"You misunderstand me Misao. You see, she was never married."
"What?" Misao chokes and sputters, spitting part of the rice ball she had been eating. "But… my father…"
"Was the Okashira and your mother oniwabanshu." Okina finishes with a short nod. "Oniwabanshu don't marry Misao."
"But… but… to have a child…" Okina shifts on his seat uncomfortably.
Okina reaches out his hand toward Misao.
"It is the duty of the okashira to raise any child resulting from a mission."
Misao draws back, the meaning of his words becoming clear.
"But then… my father… who is my father?" Misao whispers. Okina's eyes go dark.
"You shouldn't ask that Misao."
A wave of nausea washes over Misao. She shuts her eyes tightly, pulling forth those hazy memories she has held of her parents. Was it a lie? They had been a family, hadn't they? But no, she sees the pity and compassion in Okina's eyes. A mistake then, a burden, an obligation. She isn't truly the daughter of the former okashira.
"So you see Misao, he can't marry you, he has responsibilities to carry if…"
"Is he alive? Do I know him. Have I met my real father?"
Okina hesitates and Misao knows. He is one told her. She doesn't wait for further answer. Without a word to Okina she slides out the back door, taking her cloak from the hook.
"Who?" She whispers into the night.
...
The next morning Aoshi hears a strange step outside his office. He tenses, hand gripping a kodachi until he recognizes Okon's perfume.
She enters his office and sets out the tea tray.
"Where is Misao?" Aoshi asks, his voice even.
"She left last night. Should we retrieve her?"
Aoshi feels Okon's eyes on him for a reaction. He forces himself to be still and take a slow sip of tea.
"Give her some space for now. Send out a bird to keep eyes on her. Inform me when she is sighted." With a nod he dismisses Okon.