-It's Lucy in a Nutshell!-
Chapter 1 – Lucy and Sabertooth
Hey there! This is my first fanfic, so please tell me kindly if there are any mistakes! I noticed that not many parodies were out there, so I decided to create one! NOTE: I RESPECT ALL STORIES so please do not take offense to this if you like the Lucy-Gets-Replaced stories!
Disclaimer- I do not own Fairy Tail. If I did, there would be crack pairings everywhere.
-Lucy Gets Replaced and Goes To Sabertooth Nutshell-
-Normal POV-
First let's set the scene. Lucy's birthday, yeah that would be good. Lucy was sitting alone in the guild, reading a book, while the rest of the guild was partying for the 123,456,789th time. And the reason was Lisanna-returning-back-and-Fairy-Tail-needed-a-rea son-to-party-so-they-just-did-it-randomly-and-for- the-sake-of-Lucy-feeling-TERRIBLE. Suddenly Team Natsu, including Lisanna, came up to her.
"We want you off the team because we think you're too weak, and because Lisanna is my girlfriend, hurp derp," Natsu bluntly spoke. This reaallllyy heartbreaking moment nearly brought tears to her eyes.
"And we didn't even consider kicking Natsu off because he's too strong and he destroys everything, so we just wanted you because we need to have you leave for the sake of this story," Gray's sentence brought her hopes back up a bit, but she still was sad like a cliché heartbroken girl.
"IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY! SOB SOB! AND YOU FORGOT!" Lucy yelled and ran away, tears streaming down her face and blowing in the wind, like a REAL heartbroken cliché girl.
"Omaigod I JUST realized how horrible we were! SOB SOB SOB! WHY?!" The pink-haired-good-for-nothing-idiot yelled, and punched the floor. A paid actor went in the scene and yelled, "CUT! HOLD IT!" So for now, the story has been postponed. Let's see behind the scenes.
"Natsu, you forgot your fake tears. You too, rest of Team Natsu, minus Lisanna because she's supposed to be evil and manipulate everybody," The paid actor said. He applied the fake tears, and yelled again ,"OK, YOU CAN START NOW!" Hurray. Back to the story.
"OMAIGOD! I just realized how horrible we were! I don't even know why we should be crying after insulting and acting like a b*tch to Lucy! WHYY?!"
[To Luceyyy]
"Makarov! *Fake SOB SOB*" Lucy ran on the second floor, which she didn't get permission to go on, and burst into the office.
"I wanna leave because blah blah blah this saying is overused,"
Then he erased her sign with SOME magic, and people forgot that you can take off the mark yourself as shown in chapter 281 and who knows what episode, because Yukino took it off herself.
Let's do a time skip because I'm too lazy to type her running out of the guild sobbing. "HEY AUTHOR! STOP NARRATING AND GET ON WITH THE STORY!" Lucy yelled with her first raised.
HEY! I'M THE ONE MAKING YOU ALIVE IN THIS STORY! *cough cough* Anyway, …
[Time Skip to a random road in Magnolia]
Rogue and Sting wanted to visit Magnolia. Don't tell me how or why, that's how fanfics made it. DURR! So magically on a OH-SO-LUCKY coincidence, Lucy bumped into them!
"WATCH OUT! I'M TRYING TO BE A REAL CLICHÉ HEARTBROKEN GIRL WHOSE GOING TO GET COMFORTED BY THE FIRST PERSON SHE BUMPED INTO!" Lucy yelled, sobbing.
Rogue, get's all OOC because we LOOOVE to make Rogue OOC, and says "You are the most beautiful heartbroken cliché girl I've ever seen! BE MY GIRLFRIEND!" He gets on one knee with roses in his hand.
"No thanks, emo boy. I only wanna become stronger because I wanna beat up Natsu later in the story, like SOOOO many fanfics make it."
"Then let me, THE BEAUTIFUL AND ARROGANT STING OF SABERTOOTH, train you because you're a Fairy and I absolutely do NOT hate fairies." Sting dragged her to a random mountain located near Magnolia.
"Run up to the mountain because I like totally want you to feel like your training when you're actually not and I'll be up here eating sandwiches and chicken, getting fat. KAY?!" Sting ordered. By the way, where did Rogue go? Rogue went all OOC once again and went off to go SMOOCHY-SMOOCHY with Yukino for no reason.
"SO TIRING! BUT I DID ETTTT!" Lucy, actually just pretended to because Sting already gained 5 more pounds.
"Yah yah. Too tired to train you so go up to Fairy Tail, use mah laser roar somehow, and yah. I wanna eat more food, so go." Sting shoved more food in his mouth, because he's a Dragon Slayer. DURRRR!
[Time Skip to Fairy Tail]
"LUUUCEEEEYYYY! WE MISSS U! LIKE TOTALLY BECAUSE I'M LIKE, SOBBING!" Natsu cried. "I ACTUALLY RANDOMLY LOVE YOU, NOT LISANNA!"
Lucy was in front of Fairy Tail, confident. She kicked open the doors, only to be greeted with dark auras from the gloominess of Fairy Tail. Natsu was like,
"LUCEH! I LUV U SO MUCHH! PLZ COME BAK TO US SO WE CAN INVITE YOU TO OUR TEAM NOW DAT U SO STRONG!"
"2 BAD MOTHER FU**ERS!-! BWAHAHAHHAHA! WHITE DRAGON'S ROAR! LOL I CAN TOTALLY USE IT NOW" Lucy laughed evilly as she destroyed the building of Fairy Tail, but not the members itself.
"I DITCHING U 4 SABERTOOTH. BAI!" She ran off, jumped on a train that was coincidently going to Sabertooth, and stuck out her middle finger to Natsu who was following her.
[At Sabertooth because train rides are boring….on top of one anyway]
"CAT TEETH*! I WANNA JOIN YOUR GUILDDDD COZ I HAVE TO FOR THE SAKE OF THIS STORY!" Let's say Minerva got all OOC too. Actually, let's try to make the main members of Cat Tee-I mean Saber Tooth all OOC, too.
"KAYYY ! Coz we like totally want strong peoplez and you're one of them so we'll let you in without even having a test or anything to make sure ur strong enuff." Jiemma grabbed the stamp and stamped it on her arm.
Lucy gave the middle finger to him and kicked him. "Back off douche. I feel like becoming a cold, emotionless, and bad ass person because the majority made me all bad ass and stuff so I wanna become one too."
"NOW FOR DA GMG, WHICH SHOULDN'T BE HAPPENING RIGHT NOW BUT WHO CARES LOL." Minerva waved up and down, with a creepy laugh and smile on her face. Like that of an overexcited person who had way too much sugar.
"LUCEH HEARTPHILEEUH, MINURVAH SOMETHING, ROOFUS SOMETHING, BEE YUUCLIFFE, AND ROUGE CHENAY. HUWWAYYY U MADE ET. NOW GO DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE. KAY. BAI." Minerva skipped along, laughing and saying how purdy flowers are.
Sting was all like, "LIKE OH EM GEE, I GOT IN AGAIN!" while Rufus was all, "DIS IS AN EPIC MEMORY BECOZ I GOT IN AGAIN, TOO.". Lucy, being the only "normal" one, was like,"I wanna kill them because they broke my heart and I can kick everybody's asses, especially Lisanna because I found out she was actually manipulating Team Natsu, because the authors are SOOOOO nice." Orga, was singing something, and then there's Rogue.
Rogue is just being himself. Anyway, let's hurry this up and time skip all the way to Crocus. "Stupid lazy author! Just go get a life already!" Lucy yelled. B*tch please, I'm the ones controlling you here.
[Time Skip to GMG, because Crocus is just where people get allergies.]
"HURP DERP I DON'T HAVE ANY HAIR AND I'M BALD! THE WINNERS ARE BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH, FAIRY TAIL AND SABERTOOTH!" The bald judge, whose name I can't remember because he's unimportant, spoke into the microphone.
"GIVE ET UP FOR FAIRY TAIL AND SABERTOOTH!" The members of Fairy Tail and Sabertooth walked in, receiving applauds.
"OH EM GEE LUCEHH! I LUV U!" Natsu flung himself around Lucy. Then Sting was all like,
"OH HELLLLLL NO, BRO! SHE'S MAH LUVER!" He grabbed her and kissed her randomly. After the kiss,
Lucy went all ,"I LAHV U 2, STING! Let me get out my heart background first. DIRECTOR, CUT!"
Lucy went behind to get the props, and carried a green screen. She put it behind her and Sting, and got into position. "KAYYY!"
"I LAHV U 2 STING! *heart heart heart* U CAN GO 2 HELL, MOTHER F***ER!" Lucy gave Natsu yet another middle finger, and made all of Fairy Tail explode, using a hidden bomb she used. Thus, giving her team 1,000,000,000 points because she managed to explode all of Fairy Tail.
But Natsu, as a ghost, was still all like, "OH EM GEE I STILL LAHV U LUCEYYY!".
The. End?
ASDFGHJKL; My fingers hurt. But yeah, this is it. Hope you liked it. If you don't, great for you. Probably not exactly a nutshell, but oh well. I tried my best *_* If you want me to continue, suggest another idea or something.
*Note – If you didn't get 'Cat Teeth', it's basically Saber Tooth. Saber = Cat, Tooth = Teeth. Thus, giving me an idea of Cat Teeth. I was going to put cavity, but that didn't really fit.
Anyway, please review for the sake of how I did for my first fanfic! If I did horrible, I'll try to fix my mistakes (but if you do criticize, please STATE what I did wrong or else I won't know what I should do to fix it.)
~Kitsune-Dark-Knight