Chapter 1

Prologue

"I- I'm so sorry, but it's just-"he stuttered, but I couldn't listen to this anymore, I had to cut in. My eyes were bleary from tears and I felt like my legs would give out on me at any moment.

"Forget I said anything" I said, my voice breaking. I closed my eyes as I turned to walk away, letting a couple of tears spill over. I walked two steps before he caught me by the arm, spinning me around to face him. I couldn't look at him, I just closed my eyes again.

"I really am sorry, but I just don't want to ruin the friendship we have. I think its best if we stay this way." He said his voice apologetic.

I shook my head and tried to turn and run, the tears were flowing relentlessly by this point. But he wouldn't let me; he just put his arms around me, whispering 'sorry' in my ear. I couldn't be with him right now, I pushed him away and ran, I didn't no where I was going, but I just ran.

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The beginning

Now, here I sit on my back porch, thinking about the days when I had my best friend. I use to lean on Edward for everything. But I haven't spoken to him for 6 months, since that day. My life has nothing in it, no friends, and practically no family. My mum moved in with Phil her boyfriend, and Charlie doesn't even look at me.

Put it this way, my life, doesn't have meaning to it.

I sighed and got up, heading to my truck. School. Wonderful. That was the epicentre of my personal hell.

As I pulled up to the school Edwards silver Volvo entered the parking lot. I got out of my car, hoping no one would notice me. I walked quickly towards the entrance, but, ofcourse, being the klutz I am, I tripped, landing face first on the gravel. I picked myself up, by this point everyone was laughing and pointing. I turned quickly and ran for my biology class. The one class I had with Edward.

You'd think that I would hate him for everything that happened, but I was still recklessly in love with him. I just didn't bother trying to get his attention anymore.

Not like he would care anyway I thought.

I heard a chair scrape on the linoleum and someone sit down, but I just kept my face down, my hood covering most of it anyway.

"Are you ok?" I heard his voice asked.

What the? He hadn't spoken to me in six months. Now he decides to care.

"Bella?" he asked again.

My eyes were overflowing with tears already. Pathetic, I no, but it hurt so much, and he didn't care.

"Bella, please talk to me? What's wrong?" he pleaded.

Then ager overtook me.

"Why the f**k do you care?!" I hissed.

Hurt was evident on his face. "What?" he asked

"Why the f**k do you care!? I lost everything the day you told me to piss off. What happened to you? You use to care; you use to be the one I ran to when I needed support. You were my best friend. And then you just left. I haven't heard a thing from you in six months. Do you have any idea how much that hurt? To lose everything in one day, just 'cause I fell for you?" my face was covered in tears.

He just sat there, not moving, not blinking; I don't think he was breathing.

"And you wanna no what hurts the most? That fact that I cry myself to sleep over someone as pathetic as you" I whispered in a broken voice. I got up and walked out of the room with everybody staring at me.

I got to my truck, struggling to find my keys in my bag, the tears made it impossible. Finally I found the small metal key and slipped it into the lock, turning it. I slumped in my seat, bringing my knees up to my chest and burying my face in them.

I don't know how long I sat there, just crying and sobbing. Eventually the broken part of me cried itself out. I didn't no where to go, or what to do.

I think I sat there for an hour contemplating. Then my stomach growled. I guess lunch was a good idea, so I got out of the cab, making my way to the cafeteria. When I walked in, no one noticed, thank god. I walked to the line and grabbed a sandwich and a bottle of water. I walked over to my usual table, the one where no one sat unless they were in a fight with there friends.

When the bell rang i got up and dumped my tray and headed to spanish. On the way poeple were staring at me in either pitty or humour. Word had obviously gotten out about my phsyco attack.

As i walked in Mr Banner stopped me.

"Bella, i heard about.. before. I-I think you should maybe go see the school counsellor. Your- Your Dad came in last week, he's really worried about you Bella." he said.

Wait, what? Did he just say my Dad cares? Like hell he does! Never loved me. He just saw me as a burden ever since i moved in.

"You have no idea what you're talking about, my Dad never cared about me." I said, walking to my seat. "And mind your own buisness." I called over my shoulder.

I sat in class with Mr Banner throwing me apologetic glances every now and then.

Whatever I thought.

When the bell finally rang I all but ran out the door, dodging three people on my way.

I got half way tp my truck and was stopped by none other then Alice cullen, Edwards sister. She was tiny, a pixie really. She had short spikey black hair and was only up to my shoulders. We became really close towards the end of last year, but that went out the window with everything else in my life.

"Hi Bella! How are you?" she asked. Her energetic spirit was catchy at some point in my life, now all it did was make the pain that much worse.

I sighed, putting on my best poker face. "Alice, don't act like you don't know what went on in biology. Please, just leave me alone."

"Oh, uh.. ok. Cya!"

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Chapter 1

(Picks up from when Bella has the hissy fit)

EdwardPOV

I sat there in shock. I never realised I'd hurt her so much. I mean, I knew I hurt her, it was abvious, but I always thought she would move on. I guess i was way off the mark.

I spent the first three months avoiding I went weird? Into denial, telling myself I hated her. I would make her life hell everyday. Make jokes out of her with my friends, spreading rumours, that kind of stuff, I 'spose in between my facade, I never really saw what I was doing to her.

*Flashback*

"Hi" Bella said shyly, sitting down next to me.

I was with all of my friends. They all knew what happened last week, and they told me i should just leave her alone, and that's what I had to do, I had to hurt Bella. I had been planning what I was going to say for the past three days now.

Well, here goes nothing.. I thought.

"Can I help you?" I asked her in the coldest tone possible.

"Um, what?" She asked, confused.

"Can I help you? Why are you sitting here?"

"Because we always sit together at lunchtime?" She said, confusion coloured her tone.

Everyone was snickering by this point, but my brothers, Emmett and Jasper, were looking at me with sadness in there eyes.

I took a deep breath and let it all out.

"Yeah, but I don't want you sitting here, or talking to me. At all. Now can you do us both a Favour and piss off? i siad my voice as cold as ice.

The hurt on her face was almost enough to make me want to hold her in my arms and tell her I was sorry. Alice said this was exactly the thing she was afraid of happening.

"Wha- why are you doing this?" her voice broke at the end.

"Because we don't want you here, and we don't want you to come back" Everyone, including me said in unison.

She put a hand up to her mouth to try and stiffle a sob, but it broke through anyway.

And with that, she got up and left.

*End flashback*

I 'spose when you look back on it you really see how much pain she was in, i just didn't see it back then because i didn't want to see it.

When the bell rang for lunch I practically ran to the cafeteria. I grabbed a tray of food, not really caring what it was, and sat down at my usual table. Soon after my brothers and sisters joined me. Jasper and Alice sat down across from me and Emmett and Rosalie next to them.

"Dude, you look like a mess, what's up?" Emmett asked. Everyone nodded in agreement.

Alice giggled and answered for me. ""Bella"

"Oh." Was all they said.

We ate quietly for a while, then Jasper popped the question i really didn't want to answer.

"So.. What happened?" He asked casually.

"Um.. When i went into biology after seeing Bella trip I asked her.." I continued with a full explanation of it all.

By then end of it, Alice was about to cry. Bella was her best friends, they were almost as close as Bella and I were. Rose was just giving me a death glare that said 'I told you so'. Jasper and Emmett just gave me knowing half smiles.

"That's it, I can't handle it. I told you you were taking everything away from her. I'm going to talk to her and.. and" Alice was sobbing uncontrolably and couldn't finish her sentence. Jasper wrapped his arms around her tiny shaking form.

I sighed. "I know what I did, and I know what I caused. I just, I don't know what to do. She thinks I don't care, but I never stopped caring. I jus-" Rose cut me off from my rambling.

"You didn't see it, did you?" She asked.

"See what?"

She sighed, in either fustration or anger, I don't know. "When she asked you out, it wasn't just some spur of the moment thing or a silly little crush. She loves you, and she still does."

"But.. Wait, what?"

"She loves you! Oh my god! How did you not see it!?" Rose hissed.

"Uh.. I.. Uh..." I couldn't form a proper sentence. I was still trying to register the fact that Bella loved- loves - me.

Emmett chuckled. "Wow, you no, for the smart one in family, you were pretty stupid not to see it.

I wasn't paying attention to him, or anyone else for that matter. I was still in shock and denial.

She loves me. I thought.

(A/N) don'y hate me. its my first fanfic.

so let me know what you think?

lovez youz. ^.^

lauren xoxo