Hello beautiful people of the fandom! This was first written for a fundraiser that Katbug86 organized for Parkinson's Disease through the TeamFox(dot)org. I was one of over 20 contributing authors for the cause and together we raised over $1000 in the two weeks that the fundraiser ran. I was honored to be a part of such a great cause. In hopes of increasing awareness of the charity, I have decided to bring this one-shot here to FFn. Even though the two weeks are up in which Katbug86 ran the fundraiser, she is still accepting donations through the TeamFox website, and if you donate you will recieve a compilation of over 20 one-shots! If you would still like to donate to Parkinson's Reasearch, you can visit Katbug86's blog at www(dot)foxyfics(dot)blogspot(dot)com (and of course replace the (dot) with actual . because FFn is retarded and doesn't like links). Just click on "how to donate" at the top of the page and follow the instructions. Thank you all and I hope you enjoy my o/s!
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the intellectual property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.
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For as long as I could remember, I had a fascination with Love. We were first introduced in children's movies, where Prince Charming would save the Princess and they would live happily ever after, all because of Love.
In my childish mind, I had believed that I already inhabited my own happily ever after with my two parents, Charlie and Renee, in our small town of Forks, Washington. I couldn't imagine a love more perfect than what my family had, but I guess when you're four, you can't see the cracks in relationships that are so apparent to others.
My perfect world was shattered just a year later, and when I was five, my mother left my father in Forks and took me back to her hometown of Phoenix, Arizona. I was acquainted with a new kind of Love in Arizona, a kind that I could only ever share with my quirky mother. I was not only her daughter, I was also her best friend, and that kind of Love became something sacred to me, something I could only ever share with my mother.
She betrayed me when I was ten, and that was when Love became the enemy. She met Phil Dwyer when she took me to a baseball game for my tenth birthday, and she helped me catch a foul ball. After the game, she insisted that we take it down to the dugout to let the players sign it. That was the last day I spent with my best friend.
She was never around much after that, and even though she insisted that I was still the most important person in the world to her, I knew better. One evening about six months later, Phil sat me down on the couch and talked to me about becoming a family. The next day, I was packing my bags to go back to Forks. Though I remembered little about my father, anything was preferable to living with the mother who had betrayed me.
I found a different kind of Love with my father, whose quiet demeanor and gentle spirit came as a sharp contrast to my bubbly mother. I then understood why their fairy tale crumbled so rapidly. Our Love was just a simple understanding of the other, garnished with a fierce protectiveness on his part.
I grew accustomed to my new environment and accepted the disinterest of my mother, who barely remembered to call once a month, and carved out my own place in the small town that now loved me as one of their own rather than seeing me as just my wild mother's daughter, as they did when I first arrived.
Throughout my middle and high school years, I grew to know the Love of a best friend through Alice Brandon, a quirky spitfire that I met in my seventh grade art class. She opened my eyes to the world of creativity, beginning with that art class, and carrying into other areas of fine arts, including photography, which had become my passion over the years.
My fascination with Love served a dark purpose in high school, and in my search for romantic love, I learned of lust and carnality instead. Sex masqueraded as Love for several years, and I made mistake after mistake in my search for something that felt real. I desperately searched for my own happily ever after, foolishly believing any lie I was told by the guys who just wanted to get into my pants, in the off chance that one of them was actually serious.
Alice stuck by my side as my reputation was ruined by the number of guys I had slept with, and she fought back every time she heard someone calling me "slut" or "whore", either behind my back or to my face. I didn't let them see how much it hurt when they called me that; only Alice knew of the tears it caused.
I found solace in pictures; capturing the beauty of the world around me even when there was nothing beautiful inside myself. Sometimes I would catch the sun glinting off a single blade of grass. Sometimes it would be a flower that caught my attention. Old houses, barns, trees, and birds all became subjects of my talent, but my absolute favorite thing to capture was a couple in love. That led me to where I am today.
I am now a twenty four year old wedding photographer. I learned that if I was ever to see true love, it would be through the lens of my camera. It was clear that Love would never find me.
I had moved away from Forks right after high school to study photography at the Art Institute of Seattle, pursuing my dreams while at the same time trying to ignore the romantic inside me that reminded me that I may find Love in a new town. I brushed the romantic aside once I began studying, and I only unleashed her when I was looking through the lens at a couple in love. I was applauded for my talent, and before I was even out of school I was taking on professional jobs.
It all began with Alice's wedding to her high school sweetheart, Jasper Hale. Even though Alice insisted that I be her maid of honor instead of the photographer, I still managed to take over a thousand pictures of the time before the wedding and during the reception. Good thing I did, because the idiot photographer that she hired only managed a few quality photographs from the whole day.
As Alice's maid of honor, I was paired with Jasper's best man throughout the day. When we were introduced, I struggled to keep my jaw from going slack. It would be no trouble to walk on his arm today. He was tall and lean, and his broad shoulders made the tux he was wearing look extraordinary. His deep green eyes danced with merriment as he shook my hand and introduced himself as Edward Cullen.
Before we even walked down the aisle toward Jasper and the minister who was to marry them, the hopeless romantic inside of me had already devised a fantastic idea as to how Edward and I would fall in love tonight.
His glances throughout the ceremony fueled my imagination, and every time I hazarded a surreptitious look in his direction, I was awarded with a thrill in the pit of my stomach as our eyes met. I knew I was willingly falling to sure disappointment, but I couldn't bring myself to care as I dreamed about happiness and romance.
The wedding was beautiful, and before I knew it, the wedding party was parading out of the church and into the gardens for pictures. I watched the bumbling photographer as he snapped frozen, lifeless pictures of the wedding party, then the bride and groom.
On his hundredth mediocre shot of Alice and Jasper, I finally lost the control I had been trying so hard to maintain. I snatched the camera out of the man's pudgy hands and began barking orders to Alice and Jasper, who were obviously relieved by the change. The love and adoration between Alice and her new husband made it easy to create beautiful pictures for them—this is what the romantic inside of me lived for.
On the way to the reception hall, Edward finally spoke to me. He complemented me on my pictures and noted how much I loved doing it. I avoided mentioning how much he had inspired me. It was much easier to generate feelings of romance when those feelings inhabited your own heart.
We danced at the reception, his strong arms around my waist while he held my hand gently in his own. I might have melted if he weren't holding me up. We joked and laughed the entire evening, holding easy conversation about ourselves and getting to know one another. The chemistry between us was even obvious to the bride, who came down off of her exuberant cloud long enough to raise her eyebrows at me and wink while glancing between Edward and I. I giggled shyly when she noticed, feeling confident in myself and at ease around Edward.
I left the reception that evening on a cloud inflated by love and new hope. I was sure I had found someone worth my time in this man.
I waited desperately on a call from Edward Cullen. It never came.
I curled up in a ball on the fourth day and let the remaining hope drain out of me in rivulets of tears. Alice's wedding was no longer a bright spot in my memory; it faded to yet another memory of rejection and loss.
I tried to forget about Edward Cullen, just as I had tried to forget about every other man who had hurt me, but no matter what I did, his sparkling green eyes were in the back of my mind, reminding me of our encounter when I most wanted to forget.
Two months after I opened my own photography studio, nearly four months since Alice and Jasper's wedding, fate interfered once again.
I sat at my computer, going through photos I had recently taken of a young family. A tiny boy and girl looked up at me through the pictures with round-faced smiles and joy that I could still sense even through the frozen moment in the picture.
The shrill ring of the phone next to me caused me to jump in my seat, pulling my attention away from the children in the picture.
"Aspire Photography, this is Bella Swan," I answered.
"Hello, I'm looking for someone to shoot my wedding and engagement pictures," a nasally voice requested through the line.
I smiled to myself, excited to do another wedding shoot, before replying, "Yes ma'am, when is your wedding?"
She told me they had not set a date yet, but they were anxious to do an engagement shoot as soon as possible.
I laughed along with her in response, knowing that if I ever found someone, I would be anxious to have pictures done as well. We worked out the rest of the arrangements for her session, and I circled the date on my calendar, writing her name at the top.
Tanya Denali- Engagement Shoot
Four o'clock
My weeks were busy, full of photo sessions followed by editing, and Tanya's date approached quickly. Armed with the sample photos she had given me and my forty pound camera bag, I left for the park where I was planning to take their pictures.
I pulled into the lot and glanced around slowly before exiting the car. This was one of my favorite places in the world. The paths were dirt, strewn with roots, leaves, and rocks that made it unsuitable for sweaty runners, so one could simply stroll down through the trees, largely uninterrupted, until you made it to the large field at the end of the path where people liked to go play fetch with pets, let their children play, or just enjoy the company of another until they had to reenter the real world on the other side of the trees.
At this time of the year, the tall grass in the field had turned golden, and the late summer wildflowers were dotting the field in splashes of deep purple and buttery yellow. The afternoon sunshine was perfect for a photo shoot, and I couldn't wait to capture the love between Tanya and her new fiancé here.
As I got out of my car, I immediately spotted a couple leaning against a car on the other side of the parking lot that I assumed was Tanya and her fiancé. I put on my best smile and began walking in their direction, but I stopped dead in my tracks as the couple turned toward me.
Sparkling green eyes were the only thing in my sight, and my mind was transported back to the evening I had spent looking into those eyes. Gone were all ideas of professionalism, courtesy, and the reason I was here.
I froze there on the pavement, staring at his arm around her waist and the shining diamond ring on her left hand.
"Bella Swan?" asked the nasally voice I recognized from over the phone. She was now walking toward me, pulling Edward along behind her.
I nodded mutely as she began to chatter about ideas for the shoot and introduced Edward, whom I obviously knew if she had been paying any attention.
He stared back at me while she chattered, recognition apparent on his face, even though he made no move to stop the introductions from being made.
Two-faced son of a bitch! My mind screamed at him, while my heart broke under the heavy realization that the night we shared at Alice and Jasper's wedding had been nothing to him; he was probably even dating Tanya at the time, seeing as how it was only four months ago.
With that realization, my sadness and humiliation gave way to anger that he would lead me on like that and then never call.
My expression must have changed with my feelings, because suddenly Tanya stopped yammering and looked between Edward and I.
"Is something wrong?" she asked impatiently.
Edward and I glanced between each other before turning our bewildered faces to Tanya.
"Bella and I, um, we met at Jasper's wedding a couple months ago," he explained, twiddling his thumbs nervously as he did so. "She was Alice's maid of honor."
Tanya turned her icy blue gaze to me. Even though Edward hadn't said so, I knew she could sense that there had been something between us.
I was fully expecting her to tell me our shoot was cancelled, but after a long minute of silence, she finally broke her glare.
"Well, I'm glad you had fun at the wedding. Come on, Edward, let's not waste Bella's time."
She turned and stalked toward the park, grabbing Edward's hand so that he only had time to give me a helpless shrug before following his fiancée.
Tanya had very specific ideas for what she wanted in her pictures, which was good, because my mind was not in the right place to showcase their love.
"Come here, Edward, sit behind me and kiss my cheek," Tanya demanded, situating herself in the grass to make room for Edward behind her.
He did as she asked and leaned forward to kiss her cheek, freezing there to allow time for me to snap several photos of the pose. My heart ached at the sight of the two of them together, him kissing her and holding her the way I had imagined being held.
While I was lost in thought, Tanya had begun constructing another pose for me to shoot.
"Edward, I want you to stand right here and pick me up," Tanya ordered, crossing her arms over her chest as Edward gave her a dumbfounded look.
"Pick you up?" he asked incredulously, shooting a look in my direction, as if begging a way out of this.
I just shrugged, not interested in interjecting my opinion.
"Just do it!" she huffed, moving closer and lifting her arms to give him access to her waist.
"Alright!" he snapped back, lifting her bridal style in his arms while she wrapped her arms around her neck.
Tears sprung to my eyes as I hid behind my camera to snap a few photos of this pose as well.
The entire shoot went in similar fashion, as Tanya made demands and orders and Edward sighed and followed them.
When Tanya finally declared that we were finished, I practically ran to my car. I knew that one more minute with them might reduce me to tears.
I was supposed to be with Edward. I was supposed to be the one wrapped in his arms while he kissed the side of my face, and I wanted to be the one kissing him amongst the flowers in the park.
She got on his nerves—that was obvious to anyone that saw them today! Gone was the carefree man I met at the wedding, in his place was a stressed, frustrated man that was trying to deal with Bridezilla.
My heart ached as I gripped the steering wheel between my hands. Why did he have to love her? He deserved better than the spoiled behavior and snide comments I had seen today. I wanted him.
"Whyyy…" I moaned as I leaned forward to rest my head on the steering wheel.
I was startled back into the present with a soft knock on the window. My face flamed the color of the apple in the center console when I saw gorgeous Edward standing outside my car with his hands stuffed awkwardly down in his pockets. I quickly opened my door and slid out of the car to face him while trying to gain control of the blush that colored my cheeks.
"Sorry…" he mumbled. This Edward was so different than the one I had carried in my heart since the wedding. I wanted my Edward back.
"Um, Tanya sent me over to bring you our check while she went to the restroom," he explained, holding out the check.
I took it wordlessly and he nodded and quick goodbye before turning to leave.
"Edward, wait," I called without thinking. There were so many things racing through my mind that I wanted to say to him. I was silent for a moment as he turned around, waiting for whatever it was that I was going to say.
"I, um, it was good to see you again," I finally said lamely.
The dark look on his face lifted and he smiled at me.
"Really?" he asked, almost as if he didn't believe me.
His seemingly strange question caused me to think about what I had said. Had it been nice to see him again? I realized that no matter the circumstances, it had, and I smiled back at him before answering.
"It was," I agreed.
"It was nice to see you again too, Bella," he answered. "You know that I had no idea that it was you Tanya hired, right?"
The new, lighter mood allowed me to laugh before answering.
"I could tell."
He laughed with me and ran his long fingers through his bronze hair in a nervous motion.
"Sorry about that."
"Edward!" came Tanya's insistent call across the parking lot.
He waved his hand in acknowledgement and turned back to me again.
"I better go. It really was nice to see you though," he smiled.
"You too," I agreed.
He waved as he turned to jog back to where Tanya was waiting, and I watched as my smile fell.
He was engaged. To a bitch. He could never be mine. I sighed before climbing back into my car and following their car out of the parking lot before turning an opposite direction to go back to my apartment.
The next day, I finally gained the courage to review the pictures I had taken yesterday.
As I flipped through the frames, I felt the same tears from yesterday spring back to my eyes. I felt abandoned all over again. I could hardly stand the idea of looking at these pictures for hours while I edited them and chose the best from the hundreds I had taken.
I clicked through them as though I were on autopilot, not taking anything in, just looking at Edward. He was beautiful, but he was nowhere near as breathtaking as he was a few months earlier when I met him. Then, he had been happy. In the pictures, his smile seemed forced and fake.
I ran my hands back through my hair in frustration as I examined the last picture of the bunch. Tanya had her arms wrapped around his waist and they were both standing against a tree at the beginning of the path that led back through the woods. She was frowning up at him and her mouth was open as if she had been captured mid-complaint.
My finger hovered over the delete button, but my attention was captured by a noise behind me before I could click.
I spun around quickly, startled by the noise, as I thought I was in the studio alone.
"Edward!"
"Sorry," he murmured with a crooked smile.
I stood from the chair in front of the computer and watched him as he wandered further into the room, toward the computer that was still displaying the final picture from their shoot. The smile fell from his face as he inspected the picture, his hands resting on the back of the chair as he stood wordlessly in my office.
"There's some good pictures in there," I supplied, feeling embarrassed and self-conscious as he stared at the picture.
"I'm sorry you had to deal with that," he replied. "I made a mistake."
I was unsure about what exactly he was naming a mistake, but I didn't feel that I should ask. Instead, I chose another question that had been on my mind.
"Were you seeing her when we met?" I asked.
He nodded, never taking his eyes off the computer screen.
We stood in silence for a moment, and though it felt awkward for me, he seemed unbothered by it.
"It was nice," he finally mumbled, "being together at Alice and Jasper's wedding. Tanya is…high maintenance. It was refreshing not to have to worry about anything that night. Things were simple. I didn't want to bring up Tanya."
I nodded, feeling the anger dissipate and understanding take its place.
"I thought it would be easy to have a good night—to lose the stress and just move on afterward—but it wasn't."
I frowned in response as he finally turned to look at me again.
"I saw you yesterday and it just reminded me of how nice it was being with you that night. I can't get you out of my head."
I felt my hands begin to shake at his words. This was dangerous. We were not in safe territory and I could feel my emotions bubbling inside me, stoked by his words.
"Edward, you're engaged to Tanya," I reminded him through my shaking voice.
He began shaking his head as he looked at the floor.
"We fought this morning. I told her she was being unbearable and I couldn't be with someone who acts like that all the time. I left."
Fat tears were now swelling in my eyes as I looked back at him.
"Edward, no… I didn't mean to… I'm so sorry."
He walked toward me and placed his hands on my shoulders as he willed me to look up at him through the tears in my eyes.
"Bella, listen. You didn't do anything wrong. I should be thanking you. I didn't know how miserable I was until I met you. I was willing to spend my life with Tanya and stay under her thumb because I thought I loved her. You made me remember how nice it was to laugh with someone."
I shook my head while he spoke, unwilling to believe that he was unhappy—I wouldn't be the cause of a broken heart.
"Bella, I only proposed because I thought it would make me forget about you."
He looked into my eyes as he took my face between his hands and stroked my cheek gently with his thumb, brushing away the tears that were still falling.
"I met you at Jasper's wedding, and I was captivated by you. You were beautiful and charming, and I had so much fun with you. I never wanted that night to end. When it did, I was miserable for days. I thought I could go back to my life with Tanya, and I discovered that I couldn't. She had been pressuring me to propose for months, and I thought that maybe if I made a solid commitment to her, I could forget about you."
He shook his head and looked away for the first time while he took one hand to wipe the building moisture from his eyes.
"God, I was an idiot," he sighed. "I just thought that if I gave her what she wanted, she wouldn't nag or complain anymore. I thought she might become sweet and easygoing, fun to be around again. So, I proposed. It didn't change anything."
"I saw you again yesterday, and it just hit me—you're the only one that can make me feel this way. I love you, Bella. I need to be with you."
Tears were freely falling down my face now, and all I could do was nod before moving closer and throwing my arms around his neck.
"I love you, Edward. From the day we met."
He moved away just enough to look into my eyes as a smile formed, eclipsing the tears that lingered in his eyes.
"I'm so sorry," he murmured desperately, winding his fingers back through my hair.
Instead of answering, I leaned forward and placed my lips over his, showing him the only way I knew how that I loved him—that he was forgiven.
He immediately responded to the kiss, strengthening his hold on me and pulling me even closer, claiming my lips with his own.
The desperation in our movements seemed to grant unspoken permission, and I felt his thumbs slip under the hem of my shirt, stroking the skin there in a frantic movement. His hands moved gradually upward, trailing the sensitive skin along my ribs until he reached the edge of my bra, following that around to my back, where he found the clasp.
He broke away from our kiss long enough to look into my eyes, requesting permission without ever speaking a word. Once again, I encouraged him only by returning his kiss.
His hands nimbly slipped the clasp of my bra so that it hung loose under my shirt. Edward's hands massaged up and down my back, feeling the expanse of my bare back. His hands were warm and reassuring, and I melted into his body even further.
On the next pass down my back, he took the hem of my shirt up, and I released him long enough to slip my shirt over my head.
Now that I was bare from the waist up, he paused, resting his forehead against mine as he looked down between us. His perusal only lasted for a moment before he reached down and peeled his own shirt up over his head.
My hands ran down his sculpted chest while our lips met once again, his kisses like a drug, once it began its way through my veins, I couldn't stop it. A soft moan escaped my lips, and he intensified the kisses, his hands running down my body to the waist of my pants.
I knew he wouldn't continue on his own, so I nodded before he had a chance to ask, never breaking the contact of our lips. A low growl sounded from his chest as his hands made quick work of the button at the top of my jeans and he began sliding them, along with my panties, down my legs.
I lifted each leg, stepping out of my pants, while his hands ran up and down each leg, guiding me as I removed the last of my clothing.
He stood slowly, gliding each hand up my calf, behind my knees, and to my thighs, where he surprised me by lifting me and sliding my behind back onto the desk where my computer sat. I felt his smile under my lips right before he broke away just long enough to glance down to undo his own pants.
They dropped with a soft thud onto the floor at his feet, and I slid my hands down his hips and onto his hard length that was now positioned between my thighs. I tightened my hand and he moaned, whispering my name into my ear as he moved closer, until his tip was nudging my wet folds.
It only took another slow tightening of my hand around his dick until my hand was pushed aside and he was burying himself inside me and I was crying out at the amazing sensation. We both stilled our movements while I stretched to accommodate his length, and my eyes sprung open to meet his.
The devastating green was deep and full of love and lust and a thousand other emotions that I couldn't name, but I knew them, because I was feeling them too.
He began his slow movements then, while he held my eyes steadily with his own. My breathing quickened at the sensations flooding my body, and my eyes slipped closed again as I heard a slight moan fill the air between us.
His pace quickened as we both felt the pull between us, and a knot began forming in the pit of my stomach.
I clung to his shoulders as he moved in and out, bringing us both closer to the edge that I was both terrified and thrilled to approach.
"Bella," he breathed into my ear softly before tracing the lobe with his lips.
Just as I moaned in response, his teeth brushed the soft skin of my lobe, sending a shiver down my spine, and tightening the knot in my stomach so that it felt like I might burst.
One more thrust into me, and I did, tumbling over the edge of orgasm and clinging to him as he also reached his end.
His hand tangled in my hair as we clung to each other, both breathing heavily while we savored the closeness of the other.
"I love you, Bella," he sighed into my ear.
"I love you too, Edward," I replied with a contented smile. "I knew there was a reason I couldn't forget about you."
I felt him nod into my shoulder as he placed gentle kisses there.
"Love has a way of not letting you move on once you've found the one."
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