Hi everyone!
So, I'm really into Law and Order: Special Victims Unit at the moment, and I love Elliot and Olivia. Their partnership is beautiful, despite the fights they may have. I always say they're the dynamic duo because well, that's what they are. So, this is my first time actually completing a piece for SVU, so I hope you all enjoy it!
Got the idea when listening to 'Whenever You Call' by Mariah Carey and Brian McKnight!
I own nothing! Enjoy!
Olivia x Elliot: Whenever You Call [ONESHOT]
I won't ever be too
Far away to feel you
And I won't hesitate at all
Whenever you call
And I'll always remember
The part of you so tender
I'll be the one to catch your fall
Whenever you call
.
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Three Months.
Olivia marked another 'x' on the large calendar on her desk, a small sigh escaping her lips as she looked at the date. Three months – it had been three long months since she'd spoken to him, three months since she last saw him. He wasn't taking her calls, wasn't answering her texts. After thirteen years of basically living in each other's pockets, part of her had been angry that he was pretty much ignoring her. However, the anger had been replaced with hurt and sadness.
Three weeks…it had been three weeks since Cragen had delivered the heartbreaking news.
'Elliot put his papers in.'
She could still hear his voice ringing in her head, she could feel an actual pain shoot through her chest as if he was uttering those words right now in her presence. She wanted someone to tell her it was a joke, to tell her that Elliot was just taking time off and would be walking into the precinct at any minute.
She just wanted her partner back – was that too much to ask?
She'd spent the last two weeks with a new detective; Nick Amaro. He had been working undercover but had now transferred into the Special Victims Unit. She was trying her hardest to work with him and get along, but it was hard. She was a 'senior detective' and was expected to train him, to show him the ropes, but that wasn't exactly something she was used to. She was used to working with experienced people.
Besides, she didn't trust anyone to have her six – only Elliot.
Elliot. She felt a pain shoot through her chest again, she felt fresh tears brim in her eyes. "Don't you dare cry right now, Liv." She swallowed the lump in her throat as she scolded herself for becoming emotional again. She quickly dipped her head and pretended to be looking through some paperwork, so Nick – whom was currently sitting across from her – wouldn't catch the look on her face and ask her what was wrong. She swallowed again, trying her hardest to get herself under control. However, more tears were welling in her eyes and she felt like she couldn't breathe.
She figured this was what heartbreak felt like, because that's definitely what it was – heartbreak. Her heart was broken right now.
She jumped up from her desk in a flash and kept her head down as she headed out of the squad room. She ignored the looks from Nick and the other new detective, Amanda Rollins. She ignored the looks from Fin and Munch, she didn't see the look Cragen gave her from the window in his office. She just needed to be by herself right now and not have a complete break down in the presence of others.
She took the stairs to the roof; a blast of cool, October air caused her to shiver slightly as she stepped out onto the concrete. She zipped up the hoodie she was wearing, the faint scent of his cologne filling her nostrils as the breeze whished around her.
This was Elliot's hoodie. He'd left it at her apartment a while back and now she was wearing it for comfort. "If I wear it, it's like he's still here." She told herself when putting it on this morning.
She leaned her arms against the tall edge of the roof, taking a few deep breaths as she took in the view of the city. The sun was setting, the lights of the vast buildings were coming on and lighting up the city in the most beautiful way. Normally, the view of the city would calm Olivia down when she felt like things were too much. She thought the view of the city would calm her down and soothe the ache in her chest.
No. This was reminding her of Elliot. She and Elliot would come up to the roof when they'd have late nights at the precinct. They'd talk and look out at the city, venting to each other, listening and understanding each other in a way that was unique to them. Olivia closed her eyes, allowing the tears to slip down her cheeks as she began losing herself in her thoughts.
She remembered meeting Detective Elliot Stabler – it was the spring of 1998; May to be exact, because the temperatures of New York City were rising as it was growing closer to the summer months. She was fresh out of the 55th Precinct; having earned her Detective shield before being transferred to the 16th precinct. She remembered hearing stories about Elliot; to other NYPD officers, he was known as the "sex crimes detective with anger problems". However, when Cragen introduced them, she saw nothing but his kindness. She remembered the feeling she felt when shaking his hand; she had felt like her heart had taken flight. She remembered the kindness in those blue eyes, she remembered how he looked out for her but always pushed her to be the best she could be. "You're a damn good cop, Liv; I knew you had this." He would always tell her, and it would always make her smile.
They grew to be best friends, but it was never without friction as just like he had a temper, she had one too. Olivia was probably one of the only people that wasn't afraid of Elliot's temper and wouldn't back down from a fight. Some would probably call their relationship volatile – they knew just what to say to hurt each other, and God, did they cut each other deep sometimes. However, even after every fight, they would always come right back to each other.
Olivia swallowed as she then remembered the Gitano situation. That was the time where things between them became apparent – feelings that had been repressed for various reasons, suddenly came to head. She could still sometimes see that manic with the gun to Elliot's head, she could hear Elliot telling her to take the shot and that it was alright. That was the one of the few times she had properly sobbed after an incident, because she had almost lost the person that meant the absolute world to her and that was something she couldn't happen.
That was when she realized how deep the feelings she had for him were – and she ran.
Ran to computer crimes, ran undercover to Oregon. When she came back, they practically walked on eggshells around each other before finally, a case dragged them back together properly. One late night, talking on a stoop outside the apartment building where they were both living at the time had resulted in them falling back into the way things were.
Olivia knew things had changed. Their partnership was stronger, their friendship was stronger. There were so many shared looks, the touches, the late nights in the precinct when he'd do something silly like throw a straw wrapper at her or kick her under their desks until she would finally acknowledge him with a silly smirk. There were even times when he'd come around and start tickling her when she'd be ignoring him, causing her to laugh as she would grab his hands to get him to stop. She tried to keep things at bay because he was very married, and it was clear that he had tried to keep things casual as well, but something had brought them closer together.
Maybe that was why she felt like her heart was broken now. He had gone without a word, and she wanted nothing more than for him to be here. She wanted to be wrapped up in those muscular arms, safe from all harm with the smell of his cologne washing over her, keeping her safe.
She looked out at the city again. It was getting darker, and the air was growing even more chilly than it always was. She looked up at the sky, a dusting of twinkling stars starting to appear in the darkness. She looked at the brightest one and made a promise;
"No matter what, I'll always be here when Elliot comes around – I won't ever let him go."
She didn't realize how long she had been outside, but it must have been a while as when she returned, the squad room was empty apart from Cragen in his office. She went to her desk and grabbed her bag and phone, before poking her head into his office.
"Goodnight." Her voice came out no higher than a whisper, but it caught his attention.
"Liv, don't come in on Monday at least – just take a day." He told her straight away. He had obviously noticed the change in her. He had suggested she take a day off when he told her the news, but of course, she had refused. If she had stayed home, she would've been thinking about Elliot and crying all the time – and she already cried herself to sleep so frankly, work was a great distraction.
"I'm fine, I promise," she gave a small smile before waving again; "I'll see you Monday."
She took the long way back to her apartment, and with the cold, nightly temperatures, she was freezing by the time she made her way inside. She turned the heat on as soon as she walked in, before putting her bag aside. She went into her room to put her badge and gun down, before flopping down onto her back on the bed, looking up at the ceiling.
She felt like shit.
Her face had dried tears because she'd pretty much cried the whole way home. Her hair was in a messy ponytail. She just felt emotionally drained, and part of her just wanted to curl up with a bottle of wine and some tissues, and just cry her eyes out until she felt better.
"Maybe I should take Monday off after all." She thought to herself as she stood up. She took the hoodie off for a brief moment – long enough for her to change into a pair of leggings and a tank top, before putting the hoodie back on again. She inhaled a bit, still being able to smell his cologne which helped soothe the dull ache in her chest slightly.
She made her way to the kitchen and grabbed a glass and a bottle of wine, as well as her box of tissues that were on the counter. She made her way over to the sofa and sat down, before grabbing the remote to put the television on. She turned to some random television program that happened to be in black and white, though really it was on for noise because it wasn't as if she was paying any attention to it.
She poured herself a glass of wine before taking a sip, hugging a pillow to her chest as she sat there.
And as she sat there, thoughts began to creep up on her again. It was almost as if her subconscious was taunting her, throwing questions at her along with a ton of memories.
'Remember when Elliot held you while you cried over your mother on her birthday?'
She remembered sobbing on his shoulder, thinking back and wishing she'd told her mother she loved her more often. She remembered how right here in this very apartment, Elliot held her in his strong arms and kept his chin resting on top of her head, whispering sweet words of encouragement to her and telling her that her mother knew she loved her.
'Remember when you and Elliot went onto the roof of the precinct and he held you because you were cold?"
She remembered the cold night on the precinct roof; they'd been there late, trying to finish a pile of paperwork. They'd gotten very bored and decided to go up to the roof to look at the stars for a bit. She had stupidly forgotten her jacket in the cribs, and Elliot had given her his own leather jacket to wear. When she still shivered from the frigid temperatures, he wrapped his arms around her, giving her warmth all over whilst they watched the stars together for a while.
'Remember when Elliot hugged you after you saved his wife's life?'
That was the first time Elliot had properly hugged her; shocking the life out of her. When he pulled her against his chest and wrapped his arms tight around her. She had felt so many things at that moment, but the warmth that spread through her when he whispered "You're okay" in her ear was something different. She knew then that he knew something had changed in that moment between them, and while it was never spoken about, it was obvious.
'Remember when you were trying to do paperwork, and Elliot came around to tickle you because you were ignoring him?'
Again, another late night in the precinct. Elliot had been trying to get her attention, but she had been deliberately ignoring him – just to get on his nerves really. When he'd finally had enough and couldn't get her to respond, he went around and tickled her sides, which caused her to start laughing and squirming around in her seat while she would try her hardest to grab his hands and get him to stop. That was the playful side of Elliot Stabler; a side that only she saw – outside his home of course.
She downed the glass of wine and poured another glass, breathing out as tears slipped down her cheeks. She gulped down half the glass of wine as she hugged the pillow tighter to her chest, sniffling slightly. Her fingers went to the pendant hanging around her neck, a gift she'd gotten from Elliot earlier in the year.
It was his medallion from the Marines, with the words Semper Fi, meaning 'Always Faithful'
'Remember when Elliot gave you this pendant?'
She remembered. It was on her birthday back in February. Elliot had driven her home and walked her up to her apartment (they'd had a bad case that day and this was something he did when perps made suggestive remarks to Olivia), and after making sure the apartment was safe, he'd whipped the box out of his coat pocket. Olivia had been surprised – the most she'd expected was the 'Happy Birthday oldie' and some lunch; which was something they did on each other's birthdays even when they weren't working as it had become a little tradition of theirs. When he'd given her the gift and explained the significance, she'd cried and promised to cherish it with all her heart.
She hadn't broken that promise. She just hoped he hadn't broken his promise either.
She faintly heard her phone ringing, but she didn't feel like going to her room to grab it. She simply downed the rest of her wine and poured herself another glass. She figured that if she drank enough, she would feel a whole lot better.
However, as she put the bottle back down, a knock on her door and a voice stopped her in her tracks;
"Liv, I know you're in there – please, open up, please."
She wondered if her mind was playing tricks on her. Though faint, she could pick out that Brooklyn accent anywhere. She swallowed hard, tears still slipping down her cheeks as she slowly made her way to the door. She checked the peephole, her breath becoming stuck in her throat when she saw who it was.
There, leaning against the door with a broken look on his face, was Elliot.
Elliot.
Her hands shook as she turned the locks on her door. She opened it up and looked up; here he was.
Still as handsome, still tall and muscular, still that cleanly shaven face. But his shoulders slumped slightly and those beautiful blue eyes – they had a sad, haunting look in them.
She could see that he was just as broken as she was.
"Liv." His voice came out no higher than a whisper, an obvious wobble of emotion.
"El." She whispered. She stepped aside and allowed him in, before closing the door behind him. She walked around to say something as he was now sitting on the stool at her counter, only to be pulled into a warm embrace. His head was resting against her chest, her head was resting on top of his. His muscular arms were wrapped tightly around her, she was cushioned against him and holding his head close to her, stroking the back of his neck with her thumb.
"Olivia." Another wobble in his voice; his tears leaving a wet patch on the hoodie where his head was resting against. She closed her eyes, allowing tears to slip down her own cheeks as she held him.
"I'm here, you're okay." She whispered, rubbing the back of his neck.
"I'm so sorry." He whispered, only to suddenly break down completely. Olivia had never seen this side of him, but she knew this had been building for a while. While shocked, she continued to hold him, allowing her own tears to fall down her face as she clung to him. His arms tightened around her waist as he snuggled into her chest some more, sobbing quietly as he let out all the emotion that had built up inside of him.
"I'm so sorry for shooting that girl, and I'm so sorry for leaving you," he swallowed hard though the tears continued, "I'm sorry, I just couldn't – I couldn't face things, I couldn't do it, Liv; I'm a monster."
"Elliot no, no," she sniffled as she looked at him, "You're not a monster, El; you're not."
"I didn't want her to kill you too, I was just trying to stop her, and I killed her." More sobs escaped him; she held him tighter.
"Shh – you're okay." She whispered, her thumb still rubbing against the back of his neck.
They stayed like this for a short while; Elliot remained sitting with his head against Olivia's chest and his arms around her, Olivia remained standing between his legs, holding him close to her and kissing the top of his head every now and then. Olivia couldn't find it in her to be mad at him any longer, because it was clear that things had affected him a lot more than he ever let on. She knew it was hard for him to open up and show emotion, so the fact that he had come over and sobbed in her arms showed that he had truly reached his breaking point.
"Liv."
She had no idea how long they had been cuddled up like this. At some point, they had moved over to the couch and she laid across, and he laid on her with his head back on her chest, so she could hold him in that comforting way. She soothingly stroked the back of his neck, he closed his eyes as he relaxed against her.
"Hmm?" she asked, glancing down at him.
"Kathy left."
She looked down at him; he was staring at the television with a blank look in his eyes.
"Wh-what? Why?"
"Couldn't take it, couldn't take me drinking so much," he sniffled slightly as he snuggled into her some more, "I went out for a walk one day to clear my head after we argued; she was gone when I came back – hers and Eli's things, gone."
He looked up at her, his eyes resembling those of a lost little boy as they poured into her own brown eyes.
"Don't leave like she did."
She didn't even have to think twice about her answer;
"I'll never leave, El; always faithful."
And she meant it, she would never leave him. She would always be here for him, whenever he needed her.
.
.
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I hope you guys enjoyed this! Leave some comments and all that good stuff :)
