Thank you to Ads for being an awesome beta!
Here is the scene we've all been waiting for. Drum roll, please?! Alright, I won't talk your ears off. All I want to say is just review this and tell me how I did, criticism is also welcome because this is my first sexy times! What! I know, I don't know how I went so long without making one. But, alas I have finally taken the nose dive and let my cheeks burn until they about fell off all for you guys! Okay, so, that's all. Enjoy!
"You don't have to smile." I hear myself say. "If it's not what you really want to do." I didn't even think of the words, they just came out. But I couldn't deny their truth. He never had to smile if he didn't feel like it just to make me feel better. He could cry if that was really what he wanted to do.
"I'll always smile when you're around." He admits and my heart shoots to my throat.
"You flatter me Mr. Washington." I smirk.
Smiling wider, Josh takes small steps until he is right in front of me. I can feel the heat of his body as his washes over me.
"Always Charlotte." He says in an almost Christian Grey like voice.
I roll my eyes as I feel his arms wrap around me once again. I watch him as he slowly lays his lips against the plains of mine and I forget about the world around us.
The softness of his lips slowly move from my lips and make their way to my cheek. I could hardly feel the cold of the house around us as his lips slip lower down to my neck. Once the wet smack of his lips against the skin meets my ears it was then that I started to understand the situation at hand more clearly. My nerves and the heat of my body were starting to go to war inside of me as his hand slips over my clothed breast as it makes it's way to my waist. I gasp as it felt amazing through fabric, I couldn't stop from wanting to find out what it would be like without clothing. Skin against skin, nothing else. I wanted it so bad and apparently my body did too.
A soft sigh escapes through my teeth as I bite down on my lip. How could I already be so turned on. Compared to what's to come I would think it would take a while to warm up. I feel his fingers almost like fire against my skin as he kneads the side of my body just below the curve of my breast. My breathing was beginning to get embarrassingly heavier and I shut my eyes as he sucks on the sweet spot on my neck. Slowly I feel Josh begin to walk me backwards towards the bed until the backs of my knees hit the sides. I grab onto him to stop me from falling back and cover my mouth with my hand to stop myself from laughing. This was not the time!
Josh moved from his place on my neck to look down at me, giving me the sweetest smile. It was then that I felt more comfortable. Slowly I see him lean in towards me until his nose touched mine and he began to laugh right along with me. There was my Josh. Letting go of my mouth to show the whites of my teeth, I grab onto the back of Josh's hair and pull him down for a soft kiss.
His hands find their way to the front of my jacket and grip onto the zipper, slowly pulling it down until it disconnects and sags on my shoulders. Smiling into the kiss I then feel the fabric being pulled from my shoulders, I reluctantly let go of his hair to and let the offending garment fall to the ground before my hands find their way back to their rightful place. For a long moment we relish in the feeling of our lips against each other. It was sweet and innocent but it foretold the future of what was about to happen. As we kiss I feel his hands run down the valley of my lower back until they find their place at the hem of my shirt. I suck in a breath as I feel his hands slip under my shirt and touch his cold hands against my sensitive skin. Slowly he runs his hands up and under my breasts, wrinkling the fabric of my shirt before he pulls away inches from meeting the underside of my chest. Silently he looks down at me, slightly biting his lower lip and rubbing small circles on my skin.
I smile shyly and nod quickly before looking down at his clothed chest to keep me calm. I was starting to feel like a furnace and that entirely new to me. I didn't know if this was even the normal reaction. To feel like you're on fire; was I doing this correctly? His cold hands do little to dwindle the fire building in my pores. It was beginning to become intense as it married with another feeling building in the lower half of my body. I didn't understand that either. The only thing I can compare it to is when Josh and I would fool around and I would touch him. The sounds he would make always drew up these feelings but I always ignored them. Were they normal?
I felt what I only could describe as a contraction between my legs at the thought of our sexcapades that always transpired in Josh's parentless home and I subconsciously rub my hips against his clothed bottom half. I hear that familiar soft groan come from his throat and my eyes zone in on his bobbing adam's apple. I didn't know why the need to suck on it was so strong. I pull my lips from his, garnering a confused, lustful look from Josh that I ignore and trail kisses down until I meet my target. I gently suck on the sensitive skin and feel the vibrations from his moan fill my mouth. I close my eyes and continue doing this until he's practically panting.
"Char." He breaths. I smile shyly as I let go of his neck and slowly look up at him through my lashes. The lust in his eyes has intensified. And there's that contracting again.
I then feel his slightly less cold hand slide across my back and to my bra snap. He fiddled with it as he looked down at my neck, avoiding my eyes sheepishly. "Can-" I nod before he can finish. His other hand that was preoccupied with my breast moves to the back to join his other and he begins trying to undo the back of my bra. I arch my back to give him more access.
It was at this time that I was getting nervous again. He was about to see me bare, completely me. Would he think my breast were weird? Would I not look pretty enough? What if I don't live up to his fantasy? Did he even think about me like this often?
"Stop thinking so much." He says as he kisses my cheek.
I look at him, flabbergasted.
"I know you. I know your thinking face." He laughs softly and I hear the snap of my clasps and the feeling of nothingness around my breasts; bare. I'm completely at his mercy. My breasts aren't bare for long though as I feel the heat of his hand above my flesh. His eyes are on me but I can't look at him. I have my eyes shut tightly and all I can do is feel. I gasp as his hand fully cups my breast for the first time; skin upon skin. This is so embarrassing. The sounds I'm making are ridiculous. I felt like a porn star. I hadn't really seen porn before this. Only witnessing it when I would happen to walk in on Chris watching it. But I know it's what I sounded like. Every little touch had a reaction. I couldn't just let it happen, no, my mouth had to tell him it felt amazing! I never knew my breast were so sensitive. I think only Josh can bring that out.
"Don't be nervous." He whispers beside my ear. I swallow a lump in my throat the size of a golf ball. How can't I be nervous?
I let my hands preoccupy my sensory overloaded mind as I push under his shirt and feel the hot skin underneath. The feeling of him in my hands was such a turn on that the weird ache between my legs is back. I bite my lip to control the sound that wants to come out as he begins playing with my hard nipple. He leans forward and begins pushing me down to lay flat on the bed. I comply willingly and silently enthusiastically. He leans over me enough to see my body with my hands still in his shirt.
His eyes travel from my face, to my neck and then to my chest, watching and committing every detail into memory. I begin breathing heavier. This is too intense! It's too much. I don't know if I can do this. I'm too vulnerable. Maybe this was a bad idea.
Just then his lips find my lips and he kisses me so softly I almost want to cry. It effectively calms me down and I feel like my heart was able to finally get a much needed rest. I could tell by just that kiss what he was saying. He didn't have to verbalize it; it was love.
Those lips that had just tranquilized me then traveled down my neck and between the valley of my breasts. He doesn't go near them, just kisses around them for a few moments. I begin breathing heavy again but for a whole different reason. I want more.
Finally he takes hold of my nipple between his tongue and teeth and sucks gently. A deep moan leaves my throat and travels the dark room. No thoughts go into it, my mouth does all the thinking.
My hands begin pushing up his shirt. I need it off. It might help with this vulnerability issue I'm having. His lips leave my breast and the cold air hit them, making them harder-if that's even possible at this point. He sits up to lean back on his heels and I slowly lift myself to help him out of his shirt and admire his body as every inch is revealed to my hungry eyes. Slight worry passes over me as I notice he's gotten thinner since last week. He doesn't remember to eat and I haven't been there to make him. Guilt was creeping up but I push it away. It's not about that right now. But I make a note to bring it up later.
I lean closer, placing my lips against his stomach and slowly trail from his tender stomach to his broad chest. It was almost soothing for me. It was like I was saying sorry. Like I was taking care of him like I should be. He sighs audibly and I look up from my ministrations to see him biting his lips. As I begin kissing down I feel the muscles beneath his skin contract.
I look down as I start to notice I'm getting closer to his erection. I've been closer to them but it had only really been my hand that did anything. I hadn't experimented with doing blow jobs. I was always too afraid. Would it be too late to try?
My hands find the buckle of his pants as I lick around the lower half of his torso. He keeps sucking in air and his hands keep playing in my hair, taking gentle fist fulls every so often when I get too close to his penis. I finally get the zipper down and pull his pants down his thighs. He's still got his boxers on but his erection is clearly visible. I've never seen Josh's penis. It was all a mystery. All I know is what it feels like in my hands. I ache again at the thought and the memory of the sounds that simple act would cause from him. I take a piece of his skin between my teeth right below his navel and suck on it as I begin to rub him through his underwear.
I think he's stopped breathing. I look up at him awkwardly from this angle and he's got his eyes closed with his mouth a gap. He doesn't make much sound besides panting as I gently massage his sensitive appendage. I feel him buck his hips against my hand as a particularly low moan passes his lips. I smile almost proudly before I stop rubbing him through his clothes and slowly lay back on the bed. It takes him a minute to calm down before he finally opens his eyes.
He smirks sideways and easily lowers down above me. He's only a couple inches away from my body and I can feel his erection against the valley where my thigh meets my womanhood. His hands find the bare skin of my lower abdomen and runs down to my leggings. His thumbs grip the band of my jeans and tugs down slowly. My anxiety is beginning to go through the roof. There were moments of pure lust, when the aching takes over my mind. But then there are moments of clarity, like now. I'm scared. So very scared. All I've ever heard were horror stories from Jess and Emily. Ashley wouldn't tell me her history, probably for fear of my telling my brother. Oh God, don't think of Chris right now Charlie!
I want this, I truly do. But I didn't want this to change anything. It always seems to change things in every story. What if I'm no good? I was a virgin after all.
His lips find my hip and he begins copying what I had been doing to him over the fabric of my panties. I muffle a whimper between my teeth. We haven't even gotten to the real thing and I feel like I just want to scream from pleasure. He finally pulls my leggings down and leaves me in nothing but my polka dot undies. He smiles down at them and then me. I can actually look him in the eye at this point, surprisingly. Once my pants are off his lips leave my torso and go to my thighs. This is where the muffling sounds gets hard. He gently begins kissing the inside of my thigh. It's embarrassing because for him to get good enough access I have to spread my legs. His now burning hands wrap around my right thigh as he begins sucking on the skin. I was going to be covered in hickeys after this. I don't know how I can explain that away.
"Josh." I didn't even mean to say his name. It sounded like a whimper and was hardly audible. He chuckles into the skin and the vibration shoots through me. I feel the ache again, only this time it's stronger, more intense almost screaming at me to notice it head on. I moan and my back arches slightly. Josh looks up from between my legs and slowly creeps up a little higher to my panties. His fingers brush over my clit ever so lightly and my back arches higher this time. My hands grip hard onto the bed sheets, to try to keep me from throwing myself off the bed and away from the intensity. I see Josh smile reassuringly when I peek at him through my almost closed eye and watch as he places his fingers in the band of my panties. He looks at me, asking if he's allowed and I take a moment. I really think this over. After this I wouldn't be saying no. I turn away from his loving gaze and nod into my pillow. No going back now.
After a long moment of nothing but heavy breathing he finally pulls down the last shred of clothing from my body and I am now bare to his eyes. I'm 100% his now. So far he hasn't backed away in disgust.
I turn my head back to gauge his reaction and notice he's staring. Like really staring at my vagina and anxiety is too much. I unsuccessfully try to close my legs. What is he looking at? He doesn't address what could be the problem in any way. Instead his fingers begin to touch my clit and my legs fall open at their own accord. My hips are off the bed and I'm panting like a dog. He's almost examining as if he was a scientist trying to figure it all out.
"Josh!" I cry a little too loudly as his warm index finger pushes inside me unexpectedly. I didn't breath for a long moment. My brain can't process the new feeling. I feel as he begins moving in and out of me slowly. I catch him looking at my face through my half shut eyes. I can tell he's looks at my face, watching and waiting for any signs of pain. It's not painful, it's almost a numb feeling. I know his finger is inside me and I feel it, but it doesn't really do much of anything. That is until he adds the second one and then a whole new feeling takes over. It a stretching feeling. It's not too painful but it's on the edge of discomfort. I scrunch my face slightly and he stops.
"Keep going." I whisper as I look at a worried Josh below me. He bends forward to kiss my clit as his fingers continue. Now I feel pleasure. I don't even really notice when he puts in the third finger. I feel myself burning up from the inside out. Something low and heavy is building and my body instinctively wants to find out where it can go. It feels so damn good and I want it. My body aches for it. I grab a handful of Josh's hair but I'm still able to think enough not to pull hard on it. His kisses travel from my clit to my stomach and the sensation doesn't completely go away but it lessens enough for me to feel the discomfort again. He's making his way to my breast and for a quick moment he sucks on them appreciatively before returning his mouth to mine. I moan into his mouth as his tongue takes hold of mine and they begin to dance. One of my hands let's go of his hair and quickly travels down to his boxers. I slide them down and gently take his member in my hand eagerly.
It was his turn to moan. I feel him pull from my lips as he has to stop kissing me and pants into my neck. His hips jerk into my hands and his voice is strangled. His ministrations on my lower body stop and her grabs my wrist to stop me from continuing to rub him. I almost cry thinking he's stopping us for whatever reason. Instead he kisses me and digs into the dresser drawer next to my head. In his hand that emerges he pulls out a condom and I smile shyly. I had been so wrapped up in this I hadn't even thought about protection. Josh sits up above me on his heels and unwraps the plastic giving me a nice view of his penis for the first time. Instantly my stomach is a big bundle of nerves. It was so much bigger than I thought it would be. Not that I thought Josh would be small or anything but when you put the thought of my vagina with the image of his penis it's enough to freak any virgin out. I find myself grabbing his wrist before he can take it all the way out. I look him in his questioning eyes.
"Can I?" I don't know where my boldness is coming from. Probably the fact that I can't hide anything anyways. I might as well go all out. He swallowed visibly and my smile spreads wider across my face. He nods slightly and watches me intensely with his huge green eyes. I don't know what took over me but I decide before I place the condom on him to lean forwards and place my lips around his throbbing penis. His moan is the sexiest thing I've ever heard. His hands grab ahold of my hair harder than last time. It doesn't hurt, but I'm surprised. He gasps as I slowly bob forwards and back. I have to admit I'm experimenting with my movements. My tongue wraps around the veined skin and I suck his penis into the back of my throat. I almost gag which seems to turn him on more because his hips jerk slightly and I can tell he was holding back even though it was difficult so as not to hurt me. This only encouraged me and I place my mouth only on the tip and continue to suck. I look up from my position and see his green eyes watching me pleasure him. It's so sexy that I feel that pulling again like when he was kissing my clit. He's not trying to stop his moans either. It's too much and I know I have to have him.
I finally let go with a pop that echoed into the atmosphere and place the condom on the throbbing appendage. It was a bit of a process which was embarrassing but I finally managed to get it on properly. As soon as I did Josh had me on my back and spread my legs so quick I was almost dizzy. His hot hand found my hip and his thumb drew circles on my skin.
"I…" He swallowed visibly again. I was nervous again as the visual of what we were about to do came into my mind. "I wanted to tell you this before we got to this point but…" He looked at his hand drawing circles on my hip. He didn't look at me when he said this, "I haven't done this before."
What? No way? Not that that's a bad thing. Actually it was quite a relief. It was also pretty sexy that we were both sharing something exclusively ours with each other for the first time. I lean forwards and my hand grabs his chin. I pull his soft lips against mine and hope all the passion and lust in it was enough to get my point across.
"It's okay. Me neither." He knew this of course. Matt was the only guy I'd ever dated and Matt was just a virgin before he came up here this year. Clearly I had nothing to do with that. "I love you." I whisper against his lips. We'd only said this once before so the novelty hadn't worn off yet. It still meant everything. With Josh I think I could say it forever and it would still bring me to tears how much it was true. He nods slightly, his free hand grabbing onto his penis to line himself at my entrance. He looks down at me, love was so clear in his eyes he didn't need to say it. I place my hand on his cheek and rub my thumb against it with a soft smile playing on my lips. He leans into the touch and slowly pushes into me.
It hurt. It really did. He'd done it all in one fell swoop and all that was left was trying to adjust to this new feeling. It was pain, but it was bearable. Josh didn't move an inch. He just looked down at me, watching me with so much pain on his own face. I could see the worry at my reaction. I was laying there, mouth wide open with no sound coming from it, the clear sign that I was hurting. It took a few more minutes but I finally was able to open my eyes slacken my jaw, biting down on my bruised lips. He still didn't move.
"I love you." He says kissing my lips in between the words. "So much." I rolled my hips as he talked, trying to get him to move. He moans uncensored and holds tightly, almost brusing, onto my hips. I wasn't sure if he was trying to stop me or not. I pant at the feeling it brought. It was faint pain overshadowed by a bit of pleasure and mostly numbness. It held promise though, so I did it again. The same time he pushes in and it must have been sparks for him because he makes this sound that was almost like a cry. It was so sexy I didn't even care about the pain. I just wanted him to continue with that marvelous sound. It was almost animalistic, the best I could describe it with the minimal access my brain was giving me. Like it wasn't even Josh anymore in his brain just a pleasure monster. He bucks his hips into me again and it's the same sound only softer. I think he's able to reign it in a little now.
My hand finds the back of his hair as my other rubs from his shoulders down to his lower back. A few more inches and I could squeeze his ass. I smile at the thought. I wonder how he'd react. I jerk my hips again, faster. This brought a good result too. He bites his lips and imitates me. His hips begin to go quicker almost in more of a pattern. The pain was slowly subsiding as he continued to push in and retract almost completely before bucking back in at a quicker speed. His pleasure was building as indicated by the sounds he makes every time he pushes in.
He pulls out quite far and my legs wrap around him. It was like I was trapping him inside me. I don't think I can let him go, not after all this. He smiles down at me before pushing in a bit deeper and harder this time. It was like a light switch went on. The numbness was gone, the pain had disappeared along with it. All I felt was a deep pleasure building in my lower belly and my back arches into his thrusts. My legs tighten around him, hanging on almost for dear life. Like if I let go I just might float away. My hands find their way into his hair grab harder and I have to mentally tell myself to not be so rough.
His hand grips tightly on my hip before moving to my thigh. I think I might have a bruise there after tonight. It doesn't hurt, but I know it's a strong hold, like he's holding onto sanity. I'm right there with him.
"Charlie." He groans as he thrusts deep inside me. His lips cover my neck and I feel the vibration from all the moans he's suppressing into my skin.
I feel like I'm on fire. My body is so hot it's actually worrisome. Is this normal to be on another plane entirely with the man you love. These feelings shouldn't be real. They couldn't be. My hand on his back digs deeply into his flesh and it draws him from my neck. He lets out a yell that sounds like a mix of pleasure and pain. I actually feel bad about it but he's smiling and panting so I must have done something right. His mouth is wide open and his eyes are completely closed. He's gone. I understand why soon after another sexy animalistic cry leaves his lips and he's thrusting his hips sporadically, all semblance of a pattern gone. He says my name like it's a praise and with one more thrust he's done for and his head back for a long second before it falls limply in between my breasts. His hands that have my thigh in a vice grip spasm and then let go. He's starting to rub the sore skin as he tries to calm himself. I rub his hair soothingly as I try to also catch my breath.
After a few minutes I feel him kissing my breast sweetly and fondling it in his hand. "That was so…" He trails off, thinking of a word. I laugh as I continue playing with his hair.
"Amazing, wonderful, other worldly, the best thing to ever happen to us?" I suggest. He lifts his head up and his big eyes stare amused into mine.
"Exactly. And many more things." He winks at me and kisses my lips before laying his head back on my chest. We stay like this in a comfortable silence until he suddenly pops up from my chest again.
"Uhm," He starts off sheepishly and he stares down at my breast. "What about you? You didn't..finish did you?" He asks worried. I felt fine. I felt amazing actually but he looked so guilty all of a sudden.
"It's okay-"
"No, it's not." He determines with a chuckle as he kisses me again. "I can fix that right now!" He says climbing from his comfortable spot on top of me. I laugh airily as he begins kissing down my body sending my senses into overdrive all over again.