Misty doesn't know how it started. But she did remember the face of disappointment when Cordelia had found her out.
"Dee? I've run out of ta' medicine thang ya' told me I had ta' take everyday." Misty yelled out to her lover who was currently in the shower, hoping that the shower would have been distracting enough for the older woman to forget that she had just gotten Misty her pills for the month barely a week and a half ago.
Misty was careful with her addiction. She only asked Cordelia when she knew the supreme was covered in piles of work and wouldn't be able to see the scrunched up guilty face she had when she asked.
She knew this was wrong. This was so wrong. But she knew the pills made her feel like the good ol' days when everything felt so carefree.
There were sixty Xanax pills in a bottle meant for a month, 2 each day, the doctor had told her and her lover. It had started with a panic attack and Cordelia suggested she took one more pill to calm herself down and the dull buzzing in her mind had made her suddenly addicted. Then she had secretly been taking 3 pills a day, it stayed that way for about a month. Now, it had been 6 months since she had ascended from hell and at some point, it had snowballed, she took about 6 each day now, sometimes 7, making the monthly bottle barely lasting 10 days.
"Misty, didn't I just get you a bottle of those last week?" stated Cordelia when she exited the steamy shower, hair still dripping, body still in a towel.
"Nah, ya got me those last month Dee!" mumbled the wild blond, "ya' must be ta' busy with ya' work. I can go get it ma'self"
Cordelia eyed the swamp witch skeptically. "Why don't you show me your bottle? See what date we got them?"
"Ya' don't believe me Dee?" The blond felt a rush of panic wash over her. But knowing Cordelia's nature, she had prepared an old bottle that had the date 14th May labelled on in the cabinet she usually kept her medicine.
"No, it's not tha-" Cordelia continued while blow drying her hair but was cut off by the younger blond.
"See Dee? Empty." she held up the bottle for the older blond.
Cordelia took the bottle over in her hands and saw that it was indeed empty. She turned the bottle to inspect the label and then had her eyes trained on the calendar. Today was the 15th day of June but she could've sworn she had gotten Misty a bottle last week when she was in town.
"I'm sorry, Mist. The workload must be messing with my brain. You can take my car to town tomorrow to get some"
It definitely isn't messin' your brain, Dee. Misty thought to herself. She looked down guiltily at her hands. Cordelia had changed and now joined the wild blond in their shared bed like every night for the past half a year.
"Come 'ere, I love you Dee, no matter what" said the younger witch as she spooned herself, Cordelia melting into her embrace.
"I love you too Mist, no matter what."
Cordelia turned over to face Misty and leaned her head against Misty's neck. The Cajun felt a hand drape over her torso and Cordelia pulled them impossibly close to one another, Misty following Cordelia's breathing pattern. It felt so good to be in her lover's arms. She never wanted to lose that ever. She wanted to stop but she couldn't. She just couldn't.
Misty waited for a while and when she knew for sure the older witch was asleep, she whispered, "I am so sorry, Dee."
###
The next day came and the swamp witch found herself weaving through the crowd at the local pharmacist, doctor's prescription in hand.
Cordelia on the other hand had wasted no time in trying to get her work done, when she realised her hard work had finally paid off. It was well into the summer and after slogging the first half of it away with admissions for the next semester and other matters, she had finally gone through the entire pile of papers that had to be signed or reviewed and now, her desk was clear of everything. She fiddled with her pen, suddenly underwhelmed by the lack of work and the jumped up, hoping to find her other half for an afternoon snuggle. With a spring in her step, she skipped up the grand staircase and stepped into the room only to find an empty bed.
She was slightly confused, knowing that Misty loved her afternoon naps.
Right, Misty said something about getting her pills today. Cordelia recalled as she slumped into the armchair on one end of the room. The older witch had been so busy with the academy theses days that the only time she saw her lover was during the night when the moon shone brightly through the large french windows.
Seeing that there was nothing to do, she laid her eyes on a book that she had yet to read. She stepped towards their shared bookshelf and yanked the book out of its place. As she was about to walk away, she found her eyes wandering to the back of the bookshelf where a distinctable orange bottle stood. That's weird. She wondered. Why would Misty keep her pills there?
Slowly, Cordelia took the next book and placed it on the vanity table next to the shelf, uncovering yet another bottle. A pile of books soon formed as more of the orange bottles came into sight.
When the whole bookshelf had been flipped inside out, and Cordelia was sure there were no more orange bottles, she counted them.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6… 7… 8….. 9… 10… 11…..
Cordelia stood there dumbfounded. She checked each one of them again, just to make sure her eyes weren't playing tricks on her and that they were indeed Misty's anxiety pills. She checked the dates and the truth stared right back at her. Each bottle's date got progressively closer to the next until they were each barely 2 weeks apart. The last bottle was gotten on the 3rd day of June, making today only 12 days. Even an idiot could do the math and tell Cordelia that Misty was using more than her 2 pills per day.
It didn't take Cordelia long to figure out what was happening but it was the shock that had Cordelia's feet grounded to the floor, hands grasping the orange bottle, mouth forming a perfect O.
"No," she whispered in denial, "no, no… how could I have not known?" Her eyes bore into the ground as she collected the other bottles from the table and dropped them in a messy pile on the duvet.
Cordelia reached for her phone and quickly typed out: Come home now, I am in our room.
As if on cue, the swamp witch found herself in the hallway leading to their room, hoping to surprise her lover with a bunch of roses she had gotten on the way back to the coven. She wondered what the supreme had in store for her. A smile creeped onto her face at the thought of that.
###
The room door flung open but it wasn't the sight the younger witch had in mind. The beige walls seemed lifeless. Her eyes met the supreme who was sitting on the side of their bed, all 11 orange bottles by her side. The books were neatly piled up next to the exposed bookshelf. The supreme wasn't frowning but she sure as hell wasn't smiling either.
"Dee… I… I..." Misty stuttered, the bouquet slipped onto the floor in a thud.
"Hand over the pills," Cordelia commanded. And when Misty didn't budge, the older blond physically walked towards the younger one and yanked the bag out of her hands.
"Did you eat any before coming home?" Cordelia said as she pried open the white lid to check if it were full.
Misty stood there, as still as a tree, in shock that her secret had been exposed.
"ANSWER ME," Cordelia bellowed and Misty was sure she could feel the power radiating off the supreme who was worked up, tears threatening to spill from the brown eyes.
"N...o…." Misty lied, again.
"So if I count them, I would have exactly sixty pills? AM I RIGHT?"
Cordelia's hands shook as she poured the Xanax pills out of its container, spreading them over the bed.
The younger witch averted eye contact with the supreme and in that moment, Cordelia knew that the wild blonde did take a couple before coming home.
"Spit them out," she commanded the swamp witch.
"SPIT THEM OUT" and a vase crashed onto the floor. Misty's floodgate broke, she was full on bawling now but Cordelia would have none of that. Cordelia pulled the swamp witch by her arm and forced her to kneel next to the toilet on the floor and held the wild curls out of her face.
Without warning, Misty threw up again and again into the toilet, foam surrounding the yellow vomit, a bitter after taste lingering in her mouth.
Cordelia sat on the ledge of the bathtub as the younger witch struggled to regain her composure after the violent session. Her palm lingered on her lover's back, providing some sense of comfort as she watched the swamp witch closely. Her lover turned away from the toilet and nestled into the supreme's legs sniffling.
They sat in silence if only not for Misty's sobs that had now become hiccups.
"Why did you?" Cordelia said softly, a stark contrast to the minute before.
"I don't..." Misty started but tears began clouding her vision again.
"Take you time, dear," Cordelia prompted.
"It made ma' brain forget, Miss Delia. Ma' nightmares were keepin' ya' and me up at night and ta' pills, it made 'em go 'way. I didn't wanna bother ya' Miss Delia, I wanted ya' ta' get ya' rest."
Ocean blue eyes seared into brown ones, searching for any form of answer.
"You are never a bother, Misty. I don't ever want you saying that every again. Doing this is wrong. Okay?"
"Yes, Dee. 'am sorry"
They sat in the bathroom till darkness engulfed them.
After what seemed like eternity, Cordelia helped Misty back to their bed. When she saw the mess the room was in, she flicked her hand and everything went back into place. The shattered vase to the corner of a room to be swept up later, the orange pills on the bed flew onto the bedside table to be thrown away, the roses Misty had dropped found themselves in another vase across their room, the books back into how Cordelia had found them, one side of the blanket was pulled down and Cordelia placed Misty gently there.
Misty in her weakened state, marvelled at the power of the supreme.
As the older with began to walk away, Misty tugged at her white blouse like a 3 year old would at her mother's pants.
"Stay Dee, please." she looked up at brown eyes.
Cordelia nodded and climbed onto the other side of the bed, hugging Misty tightly from behind. The wild blonde turned around to face the supreme and kissed her hard on the lips.
Tears cut through both of their faces as their tongues engages in a sacred dance. Cordelia could still taste the bitterness of the bile and pills on Misty tongue but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that her lover was safe and alive in her arms.
And in that moment, both of them knew it was going to be okay.