VORTEX BY LUNARVIOLENCE
Summary: You never really know what you have until it's gone.
Author's Note: oh my god i'm so nervous. this is my first time writing for snk/aot. hello, everyone. i had to do this bc i ship levi and petra because they are so cute and UGH IT COULD HAVE BEEN.
here are a few notes:
1) i tried to keep them in character. i really really tried.
2) i only watched the anime, not the manga. so please refrain from spoiling much, even though i already know A LOT. but please. just don't. thanks.
3) i was supposed to name this fic 'dreams' but then people might think this will have a good ending. did i mention i'm sadistic? read my other fics, you'll see.
3) review!
Disclaimer: i own nothing but the story.
without further ado, i present to you: vortex.
It all started with meaningless sex.
Neither intended for anything to happen. They were both, indeed, very drunk. And, quite suddenly, ended up in Levi's room, satisfying each other's hunger.
That night, they became one.
It went on for four months, almost every week, albeit still meaningless. After the deed was done, they'd both lay on their sides, backs turned to each other. Petra would always whisper sweet dreams to Levi, but other than that, they refuse to utter a word until they succumb to a vortex of dreams.
More often than not, Petra would leave by morning, before Levi woke up.
Levi would convince himself that he doesn't feel anything.
"You're a dead man inside, aren't you, Levi?"
"...Go to sleep, Petra."
"Okay. Sweet dreams."
On a particular night, after another failed expedition, Levi watched Petra sleep.
Not in a perverted way, despite someone like him bedding someone as young as her, but he was gazing at her and pondering how someone so sweet managed to stay untainted and undamaged.
She had battle scars, yes, but that did not stop her from being the same kind and caring person she was. She was an angel who was too good for the mistakes of the world.
She was too good for him.
And suddenly, Levi was struggling to breathe properly.
"...Why'd you stop?"
"Petra..."
"..."
"Get out."
"Excuse me?"
"We have to stop. Get out."
"Levi—"
"Petra, make this easy for us. Now, get out."
And with that she pushed her out of his room. She was still fully clothed, but she stood outside his room in shame, as if she was naked.
And Levi stood inside, wanting nothing more than to pull her back in to his arms and kiss her senselessly.
"Good morning, Levi."
After two days of rejecting and completely avoiding her, she still smiled at him and greeted him as if he was an important person in her life.
Fucking hell, what did he do to have met someone like her?
He only nodded at her as a greeting for words are stuck in his throat in fear he might blurt something he never meant to tell.
He missed the flash of disappointment in her eyes.
"Levi! Stop it, please!
Levi didn't mean to break the face of Oluo Bozado.
But he couldn't control the rush of adrenaline to beat him in sheer anger when Oluo was obliviously, and quite shamelessly, flirting with his Petra.
At first, Levi paid no mind to his audacity, but when Oluo jokingly pinched Petra's ass, resulting in to her unmistakable shriek and embarrassed blush, all thoughts and reasoning left Levi's mind, including the image of Petra sharply slapping Oluo's cheek, Oluo repeatedly apologizing, Petra's death glare...
None of those made it to Levi's mind, only the image of him beating the living shit out of an unedicated swine named Oluo Bozado. He grabbed the front of his shirt and pushed him harshly to the wall as he broke his face to the point it was oozing with blood.
"Levi! Oluo! Stop it, the both of you!"
Petra dangerously pulled Levi away from Oluo, who gave him a final kick to the groin, and tried to put a good amount of distance between him and his current turmoil.
"What is going on over here? Levi?" Hanji said with worry etched on her face. Alongside her was Commander Erwin.
Levi wiped the blood that splattered on to his chin with the back of his hand. Tch. Filthy.
"This fucking brat needed a lesson on respect. Next time you do it, Bozado, I will chop off your hands and feed it to the next titan I see, mark my words."
With that, Levi pushed past the crowd that was starting to gather and went straight to his office.
"You called for me, sir?"
His heart skipped a beat when he saw her eyes were bloodshot. Was she crying?
"Sit down, Petra."
Once she was seated, her head bowed low, he stared at her with his tired eyes and sighed.
"Sorry. For what happened earlier."
She only nodded.
He didn't know what else to say or what else to do.
"Anything you want to tell me, Petra? Any complaints?"
"None, sir."
Levi. Call me Levi.
He wanted nothing more than to apologize for pushing her out his door that night, for rejecting her, for avoiding her. He was a coward, and she was his angel. You never really know what you have until it's gone. How cruel. With nothing else to talk about, he nodded his head, which felt heavy at the moment. "You are dismissed."
She stood up quietly, but before she walked out the room, she muttered to him words that almost broke him.
"Sweet dreams, Levi."
One week after the incident, things were back to normal. Almost.
Petra was smiling again, Oluo's face was better, and Levi...well, Levi's still Levi.
Everyone was training that day, preparing for their 57th expedition. And, quite unexpectedly, Levi asked Petra to spar with him.
When Petra fell for the umpteenth time, Levi crouched down to where she sat on the filthy ground and stared at her face, particularly her lips.
"Levi—?"
He gently touched her lip and stared at it. "Your lip is bleeding."
"Huh?" her fingers went up to her lips, and unmistakably, there was a bit of blood.
"You should get it fixed up." he said, his voice quieter than usual. He rose to his feet and offered her a hand which she took. She was about to walk away but not before she heard Levi mutter words that almost broke her.
"I'm sorry. For everything."
That night, she came in to his office, with a solemn look in her eyes. If Levi was surprised, he refused to show it.
"Corporal..."
Please call me Levi.
"Whatever I did, I'm so sorry. I just want us to be friends again..."
I don't.
"...to go back to comfortable conversations..."
I'd rather kiss you.
"...or...I don't know, Levi. I miss you. Not because, uhm, I crave for...your touch...I just really miss you, in general."
I miss you, too.
"So, do you want to, uhm, start over?"
"...No."
"Huh? I-I don't understand, Levi. W-why no—"
She was silenced by his lips that she oh so craved for a whole month.
They, once again, ended up in his bed. They were panting and they were smiling.
And that night, Levi was feeling bold. He shifted to his side and pulled her form flush to his bare chest, making Petra squeak and blush.
Once they fully recovered from euphoria and started succumbing to another vortex of dreams, Petra muttered words that made him lean in to her and passionately claim her lips.
"Sweet dreams, Levi."
The next morning, they went out on their 57th expedition. While no one was looking, he pulled her in for a kiss.
He wished they could stay in that moment forever.
He stared at her body for what felt like an eternity, wishing he could cry, just to blur out the image of her corpse and blood. But his eyes were too dry, too immobile, too paralyzed, to even consider crying.
He never felt so empty and pathetic.
He finally managed to choke out the words that he never said to her.
"Sweet dreams, Petra."