beta: enviousxbeauty
disclaimer: I do not own them.
expansion of my two part drabble, In the Darkest Corner.
Piece of Mind
When Sam found the obituary, Dean had been sure they were hunting another monster.
Two men killed in an asylum, certainly seemed supernatural. One orderly, one patient, dying of spontaneous combustion? Dean must have been insane to think it would be easy.
They had been certain splitting up, attacking it from both sides, would be easy. Sam took the orderly job, and Dean threw himself into the white washed room.
The patients told him stories like he knew they would.
But that was days ago and now he wasn't certain of anything anymore.
ooOoo
Sam fed him lies in a little cup. "Here, they're just sugar pills- but I have to do my job."
Dean took them as Sam crouched by the door and hissed, "Find anything?"
Dean whispered back what he'd heard and swallowed the pills. "Not much. My friends said that Jeremy was getting really heated in his last couple of days."
"Friends?" Sam smiled.
Dean nodded seriously. "Yeah, they said Jeremy used to be really calm but he started getting angry all the time."
Sam looked over his shoulder. "Oh shit, Dean I gotta go."
Dean frowned. "Alright. Catch up with you later."
As he left Dean looked down at the empty cup. He squinted at it. Behind him, his shadow flickered like a flame.
ooOoo
Roberts, Sam's fellow employees told him, had been a quiet gentle man until days before the accident. "I don't know what it was," the tall burly orderly Edward said, "but little things would just make him furious."
Sam walked with Edward handing out pills to the patients. "Really? Did he mention anything strange? Any weird flickering things?"
Edward shoved the pills towards one patient and looked at Sam. "You sound like one of them."
He pointed to the patient who'd just swallowed the pills and started to rock on his heels. Sam rolled his eyes. "I was just wondering."
Edward shrugged. "No really. I mean, he kept talking about an imp, but that was just crazy talk."
"Yeah, I'm sure." Sam agreed with a forced smile.
ooOoo
His first meeting with the psychiatrist had been fine. He lied of course. His second meeting with the shrink started again with his lies. When she asked him why he was here, he laughed at her. She handed him some pills to calm his nerves. He resisted at first, until she called one of the orderlies in to make him take his dosage.
They didn't taste like what he was used to he noted faintly.
"Monsters." He said as he tilted his head to look at her. "I hunt monsters."
She stared at him for a moment and began to scribble furiously. "Tell me more."
"I think the asylum's haunted." He said dazedly. "Everybody's screaming all the time…"
She shook her head. "Dean, it's not that bad here, is it?"
Dean looked up at her, suddenly furious that he was wasting time here. "Of course it is! You're all in danger!"
He knocked over the chair next to him. It clattered against the book shelf, knocking off her precious doctorate's degree. He fumed at all the pictures of her safe, normal life that decorated the wall. "You're so lucky." He hissed. "Never knowing."
He fell onto his knees as the orderlies appeared behind him and grabbed his elbows. "About all the monsters."
"I think we'll continue this conversation when you've calmed down." She shook her head and signaled to the orderlies.
They took him to his first night in the padded room. Making sure he had another dose of his medicine they locked the door. After an hour of clawing at the door he fell back against the soft wall and sighed wearily.
He lay down and tried to put his mind to rest.
Dean looked up and saw her.
Pinned to the ceiling with flowing blonde tresses was her. Exactly as he remembered her with eyes that burned into his soul and that condemning look that had told him he was alone. Her arms were folded across her chest, held captive by a straight jacket.
She looked down on him and lashed out. "I never wanted this for you." She said burning him with her words. "I never wanted you to succumb to your own monsters."
Dean shivered. "No, no, no, I fight the monsters, I stop the monsters, I…"
She shook her head sadly. Embers started to fizz and sparks began to fly from the edges of her body. Her long white nightgown began to glow. "Stop fighting Dean. The monsters are only in your mind."
He moved his jaw, unable to speak. His baffled green eyes said it all, as she burst into flame.
Dean began to thrash and scream until the two night orderlies came in and secured him to the bed. They left him alone in a straight jacket to stare mutely at the burned ceiling.
…….i'm falling down all the time
…….....to the monsters in my mind………
….........the day was never saved….
………………as i went about the wrong way….
Red pill. Blue pill. Yellow pill.
…………..technicolor dreams ………………………….
………i'm ripping at the seems…………
In the morning, he didn't say a word- just swallowed his pills and followed Sam down the hall. Sam breathed a sigh of relief and grabbed Dean by the crook of his elbow. "I'm sorry," he whispered, "I didn't realize they'd moved you."
Dean jerked away from Sam's touch. "I'm behaving." He said apologetically.
Sam looked at him. "Dean, are you alright?"
Edward stopped as he saw the brothers. "Sam do you need help taking the crazy to see the doctor?"
Sam looked up at him. "No, I got it." He shot a worried glance at Dean. "I can take him to the doctor."
He looked at Dean's straight jacket. "Dean," he hissed, "what happened?"
"We were all wrong." Dean said as he went into the doctor's office. He sat down in the chair across her desk. He glanced up at the wall. All the perfect little pictures were neat and organized, the office was pristine. His eye twitched.
"How are you today Dean?" The psychiatrist said with her folders open. She clicked her pen and set it on the paper.
Dean stared up at her with blank lonely eyes. He nodded numbly.
The psychiatrist smiled. "Dean, it's okay to be honest here."
Dean opened his mouth to speak, but thought better about it. He turned his head to stare at a fixed spot on the floor.
She reached across the table and touched his shoulder. "Dean, talk to me. I just want to help you."
He looked up at her blonde hair and hazel eyes. He shuddered and blinked a couple of times to clear the vision. When he looked again he saw her as she really was, with her black hair pulled up into tight bun, and friendly blue eyes. "I…" he started to speak and swallowed down his fears. "You were right."
She nodded. "Good. We're making progress."
…….progress is one step forward….
………….two steps backwards…….
……………a little farther down
the rabbit hole….
…………….progress isn't so hard……….
..it's just what you know…
ooOoo
Sam looked at the shut door and back at Edward. "What happened yesterday?"
Edward huffed. "You know. Usual. That crazy got violent. So we gave him his medicine."
Sam bit back his surprise. "Oh," he said as calmly as he could, "So after this, we'll escort him back to his room?"
"Yeah." Edward laughed. "The fun room."
Sam looked ahead with ice cold eyes. He leaned against the wall as they waited for any orders to burst in and restrain Dean. "Edward," he said trying to change the topic, "what sort of stories have you heard about this place?"
Edward raised an eyebrow. "What is with you and talking 'bout all this nonsense?"
Sam shrugged. "I just wanted to kill time 'till we gotta deal with that… crazy."
Edward sighed. "I guess. Alright, here's one- You know the guy in 219?"
Sam nodded. "The guy who hates water?"
"Yeah. The freak." Edward seemed oblivious to the way Sam clenched and unclenched his fist. "He used to have a room next to Jeremy. The night Jeremy died he was begging for water to put out the fire. He kept screaming that there was an imp and he needed water."
"Did you give it to him?"
"Freaking spaz wouldn't take it. We handed him the water and he threw it in our face. Said it weren't for him, but for it." Edward laughed coldly. "Ain't that just the weirdest shit?"
"Yeah." Sam said in a faraway voice, thinking back to the notes he'd taken last night. "Crazy stuff."
They heard the doctor's voice calling to them and they walked inside. Dean looked up at Sam and Edward. "I didn't fight today." He said quietly. "You don't have to give me anymore."
The doctor shook her head. "Sorry, Dean. But these nice men are going to take you back to your room now and you will take the pills they give you."
Dean stood up. "Alright."
She stood up also and walked around the side of her desk. She touched his shoulder, "You did really good today Dean. We'll talk later. Keep up the good behavior."
Dean shivered as he watched the walls expand and the two twisting men took his arm and lead him away. He didn't like the way their slimy claws kept holding on to him, no matter how much he squirmed. And he hated the tall one who kept saying to him in a mockingly gentle tone, "Relax Dean, it's gonna be okay."
The muscular one hissed with it's devil's tongue and addressed his fellow demon. "That's not how you deal with them."
It turned to him and held out the
…blue pills…
……..yellow pills…
………..red pills….
with it's crooked fingers.
"Here crazy, take 'em like a good boy."
He did and settled back into the corner of his room as far away from them as he could get. The tall stared at him sadly and closed the door.
He didn't understand why it cared- he was just a monster.
ooOoo
Sam could see the tired circles and the haunted look on Dean's face even in his nightmares. He worked furiously as he searched for the fire imp that fed off emotions. The little bastard had to be somewhere, he thought angrily as he scoured the winding halls of the asylum searching for its ember trail.
He knew he'd been here far too long, and that the case was spinning out of control.
As he inspected another room he smiled softly and held up his lighter. "C'mere crazy." he said in a sing song voice as he saw the darting shadow.
ooOoo
He decided numbly that he'd been forgotten.
He'd heard rumors of a fire down the hall.
He'd been stuck here for years.
It could have been days, maybe.
Or hours.
Or minutes.
Or maybe time was another thing he couldn't control anymore. His shadow moved dancing like a flame hissing little secrets at him.
They said there had been a fire down the hall. He'd heard their shouts and screams. No flaming key would release him though. He wanted to scratch at his hand. It felt hot to the touch, like something was burning under his skin. It made him anxious. He wanted to be rid of the heat that seemed to spread along his arm in anyway possible.
He smelled smoke when the door opened.
The tall orderly with shaggy brown hair was smiling triumphantly, walking over to him with long strides.
He placed his cool palms on Dean's shoulders and lifted him to his feet. He undid the buckles and let the straight jacket fall to the floor.
"Dean?" the orderly said.
He looked up and furrowed his brow in concentration. "S'm?"
"Yeah." Sam said. The familiar features began to resonate in Dean's withered memory.
Dean thought harder and managed to grin wearily. "We saved the day?"
Sam nodded energetically. "Of course. C'mon, I'm getting you out of here. Let's go."
Dean laughed hoarsely. "But I'm still the monster."
Sam grabbed his shoulder. The ice cold touch froze the fire in his veins as Sam shook him, "Dean. You're not the monster. I don't know what lies they fed you-"
"Little ones. Little blue ones, and yellow ones, and red ones…"
Sam tightened his grip. "You are not the monster. You are my brother. We're the good guys, and I'm rescuing you."
Dean looked into his hazel eyes and froze.
The psychiatrist had said "I'm rescuing you" yesterday with her blue eyes filled with a sad contempt and condemning stare.
But Sam was saying it today and his eyes were filled with kindness and hope.
The drugs in his system twisted Sam's smile but Dean finally saw past it and let himself believe. He nodded slowly. "Let's go."
Sam relaxed and led him out, while others were still scrambling to deal with the fire's aftermath one wing over. Sam threw his coat over Dean's shoulder, disguising him partially.
Dean followed him with shaky steps growing stronger the further he got away from the white washed walls.
"Sam?" Dean spoke quietly.
"Yeah?"
"Your sure," he bit his lip, "I mean, are you really sure that I shouldn't stay there?"
"Dean." Sam opened the door to their exit. "I've known you all your life. You've never been a monster."
Dean smiled, a genuine smile, at Sam's words. He felt the monster's claws receding.
.:The End:.