Portrait and Perception
Chapter 1: "You're… Bella Swan?"
"Good luck, good luck- now go! Or you'll be late!" Alice hugged me while simultaneously shoving me out of the door, picking up my bag for me on the way. "I'll tell Rose to phone you!" I smiled before running down the stairs. Finally I had a chance- I couldn't wait to start helping out my roommates with the rent.
I had originally come to New York to be a photographer. I had stayed in a box flat with three strangers packed in the same room as me because it was the only place in central town that I could afford, and I worked nights at a café so I could pay the rent bills and afford to run around looking for work in the day.
I had sent my small portfolio to all the addresses of agents and publicists that I could find, and it had been a month without hearing anything. I felt like I had gambled my whole life to live in a sea without knowing how to swim. When finally my lucky break came that made me stay trying to chase my dream-
I was rushing around the café because the other waitress had bailed on me and I was on my own when I served two women my age. Despite the rush, I stopped a moment to talk to them because I heard them talking about the new fashion show in Carlstadt and had to ask how it was.
They looked quite different, one tall with long blonde hair curling softly down her exposed back and a long oval face with smoky eyes, and the other short with a spunky short black hairstyle and a heart shaped face. Two pairs of eyes looked me up and down- my messy brown hair tied up in a bun but still falling in my face, the black apron over the black short and the sneakers- blondie raised an eyebrow- and back again to my tired face. Then the short one smiled all over her face and told me it had been amazing- Monique LHuiller herself had been there to show her designs. I gasped- I wished I could have been there. Then I remembered I had to get back to work, so I rushed off again and didn't talk to them again until just before we closed and I saw them leaving and ran over. I stuck my hands in my apron awkwardly.
"Hey, um, I was wondering how you managed to get into the Carlstadt show?" I asked the short one, the blonde one was glaring at me.
"Well, it was fluke really, but-"
"My boyfriend couldn't make it, and had two tickets to spare." The blonde girl said, going out the door. But the other stayed where she was.
"So, are you into fashion or something? Are you a model?" She asked. I laughed awkwardly, hating that she was mocking me. "What?"
"That's not funny." I said. Her lip dropped and she put her hand up.
"What do you mean? I wasn't joking- I meant, what do you want to do?" I frowned.
"I want to be a photographer, preferably fashion because I've always been intrigued by it."
"Really? That's really cool, because I've been looking for a photographer for-" The blonde girl opened the door impatiently.
"You coming, Alice? I got a cab, they don't like to wait." She glared at me.
"Wait a second. Um, what's your name?" Alice asked, pulling out a pen from her bag. She held it out. "Write your number on my hand, I'll call you about it and see if you can send me a portfolio- you do have one?" I nodded mutely, shocked, pulling her hand towards me.
"I'm Bella Swan." I said, giving it back.
"Well, I'm Alice Brandon and this is Rose Hale." But she had already left. Alice grimaced. "Sorry. Well, I'll call you, good to meet you." She left, leaving me amazed. Could this be some sort of chance, finally? Would she call me?
I couldn't sleep that night, for excitement and hope after nothing but dead ends for the last month in a strange busy city in which I knew no-one.
Alice called me first thing the next morning, and I almost shrieked.
"Is this Bella?"
"Yes."
"Hey there, it's Alice Brandon. I'm looking for a fashion photographer and I was wondering if you would like to apply."
"Well, of course." I felt like screaming!
"That's great! Is there a way we can meet up so I can see your portfolio and you can tell me about what you've done and stuff like that?"
"Um, sure." Experience? Oh dear.
"Are you free for lunch? I just had someone cancel on me, could we meet up for lunch?" Ew, going out to eat. Needs money. Well, this is hopefully a business opportunity. I can afford lunch in the long run.
"Certainly. Where do you want to meet?"
"Well, I'm a bit short on cash right now, so do you mind going to Scott's, across the road from where you work?"
"That's fine."
"Is one o'clock okay?"
"That's fine."
"Well, see you then! Got to go, life is short and, in my case, busy. Bye!"
I was having a job meeting! Oh my god! I grabbed my camera and rushed outside. I always managed to shoot the best pictures when I was happy and could find the positive light on everything. I walked to my favourite spot- there was a block of townhouses leading off one of the main bridges of – and the one on the end had a metal staircase to the top door, and I often went there to take photographs of the bridge, people on the bridge, and the people sitting and chatting at the sunlit restaurant on the bank. Some of my best photographs had been taken there- and often by accident. I would point and shoot and random people or crowds and when looking over them later realise how much insight there was in someone's expression, or the colour in a photograph.
So this is where I went then, to celebrate. My life was very solitary, I didn't have anyone to call and tell, so I would try to share the experiences through my camera, make my own happiness reflect through my lens.
Today I was quite lucky, the restaurant tables were almost empty apart from one family sitting right on the edge, the grey water splashing behind them. The lighting was horrible, so I put it on black and white. There was a man with his two children, a boy and a girl. After about five minutes of shooting, I caught the one I was looking for. The girl had obviously said something stupid, her face was stained with an angry blush and scowl, her foot swinging out to kick her brother, who was teasing her with a huge dimpled grin and his long curly brown hair falling in his eyes. The father was laughing too, a hand on both his children's shoulders. I smiled, admiring it. I loved how some pictures just caught the aura around some moments and froze them in time.
Then I left to go home and get my portfolio ready. I met Alice for lunch, to my surprise she was as early as me.
"Hey Bella! I got us a window seat. What would you like?" She asked.
"Don't worry, I'll get it."
"Okay, I'll have a skimmed latte and a tuna salad please."
When I came back, she immediately asked to see my portfolio. I handed it over, very nervous. My most precious moments were there. Every photo captured my own emotions at the time. I couldn't lie through my camera and it couldn't lie to me. I scrutinised Alice's face as she flicked through the endless bridge shots, the amateur photographs I took back home of my parents in a homemade studio, and self portraits which took hours to perfect.
"These are amazing, Bella. What do you do, carry a camera around with you? Or are these models?"
"No, they're all candid. I like it better that way sometimes- I catch the looks that people don't like to produce, or can't, when they know a camera is pointed their way. Looks of love, or laughter, or hatred, or jealousy."
Alice tilted her head, and I think it was an opportunity to continue.
"People say a camera can't lie, but they can- in a way. They can show what a person wants them to, it takes time to recognise what's behind it. You need to look at a lot of photos before you can see behind them and become able to see the real emotion. Say this woman here," I pointed to a photograph of a woman looking at a man, walking down the street, with her phone in her hand. "See her smile? She can't stand talking to him, look at her teeth. The grip of her hand on the phone- she just wants to talk to them without this man beside her." I shut the portfolio.
"And that's when you become able to recreate these looks on film." I continued.
"How?" Alice was leaning forward, frowning slightly.
"Well, um, I'll show you." I fished my camera out of my bag. Alice's eyes widened.
"That must have cost a bit." She commented.
"Took me out of college. But it's worth every penny. Now, I'll show you how to recreate a look." I randomly flipped the book open to a random page, where a woman was looking over her shoulder at the empty street. "Okay, this one."
"What are you doing?" Alice asked.
"Okay, I'll show you how I can recreate any look I want. We'll use this one. Tilt your chair ninety degrees to the table." Alice blinked, then did as I asked. I got her to straighten her back, crane her neck, lift her chin, widen her eyes and focus her eyes beyond the camera. Eventually I got the shot I wanted, after ten minutes of posing.
"That's it! Look- here." She straightened her chair and drew it towards me, and I shot a picture as she leaned forwards in curiosity, and another as she frowned at me. Then I brought up the photo of her 'looking out onto an empty street' and she stared at it for a moment.
"I see what you mean. I can't assess it properly because I was the model, but I'm very impressed. Now, what previous experience have you had?" She asked. I looked down.
"Well, I took portraits and stuff at school, and I was in charge of a photography class. But I haven't had any defined jobs or training as such, I'm self-taught, and I moved here to start my career. So I'm starting my experience." Shit, the stupidest thing to say. No experience. Alice laughed.
"I see what you mean. Well, I'll tell you, I like your attitude and I'm not that experienced myself so I don't need someone really expensive right now. I've just started my own business- a fashion line, and I need photos of the designs I have so far. I've been looking for a photographer for a while now, because they're so expensive here! But if you accept this job I can pay you a hundred dollars for this job. I'm afraid I can't afford any more, but if you do this job well I'll probably come back to you for more, you see? We don't have a studio or anything, and I assume you don't either…?" I nodded. "So we'll need to find a location, which is-"
"Well, I've got lots of ideas for locations, if you'd let me see the clothes." I suggested. Alice smiled coyly and brought a sketchbook out of her bag.
"Here are some of my designs. This set is a work chic, I haven't managed to produce these yet, but these dresses are the kind you would be shooting."
She showed me some coloured drawings of summery dresses, mostly camis with spaghetti straps, but some had some simple ruch detailing or plaited hems. They were very good, despite their simplicity, which I assumed was due to expense. Flipping back to the work chic, they got a lot more adventurous and complex. A long sleeved cream jacket with a huge collar and tiny belt, a dark silvery shirt with a cropped black waistcoat and short white skirt… She had a real feel for complementing the female body. The models she had drawn were not all the same size, and I liked the variety.
So, I accepted her offer and took the shots of her work, with Rosalie as her model, which didn't surprise me. She was very patronising towards me still when we started, but I used a few photographer's tricks to loosen her up and make her smiles more genuine.
Alice was very happy with the pictures, and paid me as she promised. The week after I got a call that some investors had seen the photographs and were willing to support her! She invited me with Rosalie for dinner at hers, and we spent the evening talking about everything that made us end up there. Rosalie was a model, just finishing her first season. Her boyfriend was head of a magazine advertising company, and he managed to help her break in so she had done some shows and one shoot.
I started spending my days helping Alice put together her work, and photographing her work, and then she got her big leap. A big highstreet clothes store company bought her winter season, so her clothes were rocketed into the shelves. With the new surge of money she suggested we all buy a two-bedroom apartment to live in, seeing as we all lived in box flats. We did, and we'd been there for almost three months.
I'd had some enquiries to my work through Alice, but I was getting tired of just helping manage her company rather than take photographs. Alice and I were talking about this once when Rosalie's boyfriend had come over for dinner and he suggested recommending me for a job as his friend's assistant, who was a fashion photographer. Everyone thought it would be a great opportunity. Rosalie's boyfriend, Emmett, had seen my pictures- I'd even taken some of him and Rose- and said he would recommend me for the job.
So that's where I was going now- to be interviewed for a job as the famous fashion photographer Edward Cullen's assistant.
I tried to forget the only advice Rosalie had given me- that he was very moody and it was difficult to stay on his good side. I followed Emmett's directions for about a minute and then I realised where this studio was. It was the apartment behind the door that I always leaned on when taking pictures of the bridge. I'd never seen anyone come out of that door, I'd assumed the apartment was empty. But it was very intriguing to think that I had always been so close before.
I smoothed my hands over the Brandon label blue skirt and knocked on the door. Alice had dressed me in her own brand of clothes. She had said first impressions were very important and her clothes were exactly the kind of attractive professional look one needed at an interview. I couldn't say no without insulting her, so I accepted her choice of short skirt and low cut top with a tight jacket and ankle boots (which had a very small heel luckily because I had a bad track record of falling in heels).
The door opened and I think I gasped in shock. The man had messy bronze hair falling in his hard eyes, and an incredibly attractive cut to his face which gave him a straight nose, cheekbones and jaw. He wore a t-shirt under an unbuttoned blouse and sweats with sneakers, and seemed to be giving me as thorough an assessment as I was giving him. He looked very surprised, and almost like he was impressed.
"You're… Bella Swan?" He asked. His voice shocked me. Though very low and attractive, it was flat and rude.
"Yes. You must be Edward Cullen. Pleased to meet you." I put my hand out, but he didn't seem to see it, as he grunted and turned away. I followed after him, through a messy kitchen and into a quite large studio space with a cove studio area covering one wall, and lots of clutter, cameras, lenses, lights and set pieces across walls, on tables and on the floor. The ceiling was really high like a warehouse and I saw some precarious contraptions that looked like wires. He eventually sat down at a table, and I picked up a chair to sit on seeing as there was none for me.
"So… Emmett recommended you. Have you got much experience? Done any shows?"
"I'm sorry?" I was completely bewildered. Then to my relief my phone started ringing- Rose. "Sorry."
"Hello?"
"Oh my god, are you there already?" Rose asked, panicked.
"Yes. What's up?"
"Okay, well don't kill me or anything but I couldn't phone last night because I was at Emmett's but anyway, like, Cullen only accepts female assistants if they're models."
"What? I can't take it then. What were you thinking?"
"Well, you can manage that. We told him you were, all you need to do is get a modelling job occasionally, it's fine." Rose reasoned.
"No, it's not. Why didn't you tell me before? What kind of person needs those requirements anyway?"
"Um. Bella?"
"Yes?"
"Have you seen Cullen?"
"Yeah- what's the deal?"
"Someone who looks like him gets anything he wants. He likes having pretty people around."
"Well, maybe I don't want to work for-"
"Shut up, he'll hear you!" I peaked a glance at him, and sure enough he was watching… and glaring.
"Okay, Bella. Here's the thing. It's really difficult to get an opening in the fashion industry, and if you want to be a photographer you have to get experience. Chances like this don't come on trees- don't waste them. All you have to do is say you're a model to get the job, then show him how hard you work to keep the job. No problem. Don't waste this. Bye." She hung up. I sighed.
"So- have you done any shows?" He asked again.
"Well, no, I'm just breaking in. I've done a couple of shoots though." I was terrible liar, I could feel my face warming up.
"Do you know anything about photography?"
"Yes, some. I was in charge of a photography class at school. But any stuff I don't know, I learn fast."
"Sure, whatever. You have a portfolio?"
I answered without thinking.
"Yes."
"Got it with you?"
"Well, no, I didn't think modelling credits would have anything to do with a job for a photographer's assistant." I said pointedly. He ignored it. He got up.
"Bring it in tomorrow to secure a job. But you can start today, start learning everything you need to know. I expect everything cleared up by the end of the day-" I looked around the clutter of the room in disbelief,
"floors swept, lenses dusted and returned to their cases- if I ever find a spot of dust on a lens, you're fired." He picked up some camera backs and film, showing me, "You'll have to order in supplies- I use Kodak film and if I find any other brand, you're fired. Merchant maps for the dark room." He pointed through a door and I shivered in excitement of seeing a professional dark room.
"Make sure releases are signed by models and clients, if they're not twenty four hours before a shoot, you're fired." I was getting stressed. Should I be taking notes? I needed to remember all of this.
"Camera backs have to be loaded at all times and digital batteries have to be charged at all times with back ups. If I ever run out of film on a shoot, you're fired. Same goes with batteries."
"You need to come in an hour before me when there's a shoot to set up, you need to sort my mail, book and double check all appointments. If I ever get somewhere late, you're fired. The fridge needs to be stocked at all times with what's in it now for clients, if it's ever not, you're fired. You need to make sure everything in here is always working, if I find a faulty light on a shoot, you're fired." He had been storming through the studio like a whirlwind, picking up sheets of paper or camera lenses or other random bits of clutter, and he suddenly stopped and studied me, his eyes unsympathetic.
"And I often make models cry, it's your job to make them stop." I felt my jaw drop. I really wasn't sure if I wanted a job like this, and he seemed determined to push me away. But something, apart from his obvious looks, made my stubborn side kick in and made me nod.
"Got it. So I start today?" I put my bag down and got up.
"Yes. I have a short appointment with a client at two, I need the potential set up for them, set pieces are against that wall- the drawings are in that cabinet under Coelho 2009. Do it now." I jumped to it, but I couldn't find anything for 2009 quickly, eventually I found it in the wrong drawer. Everything was completely muddled and it was going to take me a while to work everything out. I opened the drawings. They showed a design of a wall flat piece covering the floor and back wall. Pretty simple. Then I saw the huge stack of flats piled on the floor and sighed. Cullen heard me and looked up sharply.
I ignored him and started searching. It took half an hour to find both pieces, and another to set them up. Eventually I did and I was told to find the proposed clothes for the shoot. After finding the designs in another wrong drawer, I set to work searching in the changing room behind the studio. I found the dresses and the shoes but I couldn't for the life of me find the necklace pictured. I staggered in with the clothes weighing down my arms to find him with his feet up on a table, reading.
"I've found all the-" I bit my lip to stop from swearing, "dresses and shoes but I swear I couldn't find the damn necklace anywhere!" I threw the clothes on the client sofa and put my hands on my hips. Cullen was glaring at me.
"Get the clothes off the sofa." I picked them all up again to find somewhere else to dump them. "And go phone the client so you can arrange to pick it up at the nearest store."
Coelho was a famous jewellery line but their nearest store was right across town. I fumed along the way as I sat in countless traffic jams before getting there. Some first day! I was taken through to the back to pick out the right necklace. From the incredibly friendly manner of the staff, I guessed Cullen must have been a pretty damn amazing photographer. I took the necklace and drove back just in time for the client meeting, but that didn't stop Cullen yelling at me as soon as I came in for being late.
"What is your problem with me?" I stormed, getting all the drawings and releases together for the clients.
"I hate having female assistants. They're so useless, and you can never trust them." He muttered, pushing past me to snatch a certain drawing from my hand to scribble on it.
"Well, I'm sorry you obviously have issues with women, but don't take it out on women in your work! And I've done everything you've asked so far."
"Get that light fixed." He told me, not looking up. I huffed angrily and picked up a stool to fix the light. I had no idea where to find a new bulb, but after searching through several hundred cabinets I found them, and just as I did he yelled at me,
"Client's here! Get over here, you need to take notes and give me the right bits of paper." I ran over to answer the door, and found two men, one in his sixties, looking sleek in a gray suit with slicked back hair, and the other much younger, with long hair tied back in a ponytail. I welcomed them in and to the client sofa, picking up the relevant pieces of paper on the way. Cullen knocked me out of the way as he sat down and I scowled angrily.
He immediately dived into his ideas for the shoot, which were actually very original and sounded great, but his discourtesy was really getting to me. He sent me to get the clothes, then they dropped a bombshell.
"I really like this one," the younger man said, fingering the fabric of the dress I was holding out... but looking at me.
"That one wasn't going to be used, actually, it's for a private client, I don't know how it got there." Cullen snapped at me. I was certain it had been on the drawings, not to mention he'd checked over the clothes before the meeting. "But this one-"
"Isn't there any way we could use this one?" The client interrupted "I'm sure they wouldn't mind the extra publicity, and I really think it would complement the shoot." Cullen had begun shaking his head, so he continued with a smirk on his face, "Look, I'll show you. What's your name?" He asked me, to Cullen's disgust.
"Bella Swan."
"Could you put this on for us, with this necklace? And then stand on the set?" My eyebrows shot through the roof, and I looked at Cullen disbelievingly. But he was leaning back in his chair, uncaring and completely relaxed again. He nodded at me. I walked off to the changing room, completely stunned, and quickly changed into the dress. I finger combed my hair, then decided it would look better up and marched back out again. The client looked up as I came out and motioned for me to go onto the set. Edward got up.
"So what I had in mind was the model leaning against the wall like this," He took my arm in a tight grip and led me over to the wall, arranging my body against it. "And the camera positioned here, with a light coming down from above, like a halo effect, but a dark reflector down here, and a white one next to the camera so the appearance is of a dark alley bathed in moonlight." He then started touching me again, moving my hand up my leg to my hip, and lightly manipulating my chin with his fingertips to look at him. His eyes were hard on mine despite his hands working elsewhere.
Then he brought both his hands up to my head and brought my hair out of the bun, making it tumble down my shoulders. He brought a few strands out to frame my face, and the rest to tumble down my back. Then he exhaled, brought his hands away and looked towards the client, explaining the rest of his ideas. I stayed where I was, frozen, but peeked at the younger client from under my hair, and his eyes were glancing between the two of us quickly.
"Could we use your assistant as the model, Edward?" He asked. Edward had been looking at me objectively, adjusting one of his lights, and his head snapped back to the client. He looked so furious that I thought he would refuse, but his voice was calm and quiet.
"That's inconvenient certainly, but if that's what you would like."
"I would like her very much." The client replied smoothly, looking at me again, and I tried to pretend I hadn't heard. Edward then pulled me away from the flat, and moved me back towards the changing room before turning back to the clients. I didn't hear the rest of the conversation, I was a little shaky.
What was going on between Edward and the younger client? The older man had certainly noticed as well, and was quietly observing. It wasn't really about me, there was something else between them. I just wished I knew what it was. I came back out in the clothes Alice had given me that morning, looking for my hairband.
When I came out, the clients were just leaving.
"Ah, Bella. Are you perfectly all right with being the model next week?" The client asked.
"Certainly. Um, Edward," I hesitated before using his first name, looking at him anxiously, "do you have my hairband, because I can't work with my hair in my eyes?" He pulled it off his wrist, but the client put his hand out.
"Allow me." He drew a long feminine hair clip out of his bag, (what does a man do with a hairclip?) turned me around gently and pinned up my hair for me, his hands lingering. Then he span me back. "Beautiful. I'm James Dylos, by the way. Are you doing anything tomorrow night, Bella?" His hands were still on my shoulders. I was about to refuse but Edward cut in.
"Bella, can you pack up the dresses for me please? We have a lot more to do today." And purely out of spite, I said as I walked to pick up the dresses,
"Yes, James, I am free tomorrow night. What do you have in mind?" I saw Edward's jaw twitch.
"Well, Paulo Brida is throwing a party at his house downtown in the evening, and I don't have a date. Interested?" I nodded. "I'll pick you up from here at eight, okay?" I nodded again, and he left. The other client followed. I turned away and took the clothes to the changing room.
Why had I done that? I'd never before accepted a date with someone I didn't know at all so quickly... especially if that person was as sleazy as this one. I needed to cancel... but I didn't have his number... I could get it off Edward... But that would defeat the point of getting the date only to piss him off. Another thing that I wouldn't normally do. But my new boss had been appalling, he'd done everything he could to scare me off so I'd quit on my first day as well as looking for any excuse to fire me. Already. He clearly didn't really want an assistant, especially a female one, and Emmett had maybe called in a favour. If I didn't need a job so badly, and if a job working for Edward Cullen wouldn't look so good on my CV, I would have quit by now. But the fact I really need a job and credit on my CV meant I had to stick to it, and Cullen's stupid rules. So I'd accepted the date to piss him off because I'd been having a really bad day.
I got the fright of my life when I turned back once putting them down to find Edward right behind me, fuming.
"I thought I made myself quite clear this morning. If you do anything wrong in this job, anything, and you're fired." I blinked in shock.
"What did I do?" He looked like he was going to yell again, but then he took a step back.
"Nothing. Yet. But you shouldn't see James, he has a very bad reputation when it comes to women." Was he trying to appear caring?
"Do you care?" I asked rudely, hanging up the clothes.
"No. But I don't want to have to find another assistant." He walked away.
"You don't act like it." I muttered, thinking he was out of the room.
"I'm sorry?" Damn it, he wasn't. I turned back to him, letting it out.
"I just mean, that you're not being nice to me, which is fine, but you're already threatening me with firing me at every move I make and yelling at me, and I've only been here one day! You obviously can't want an assistant that much, because you are definitely trying to get rid of me." I turned back to the clothes, not wanting to see or hear his response.
"Don't answer back to me." He was suddenly right behind me, almost growling in my ear. "And get this stupid clip out of your hair." He yanked it out himself, and tied my hair back up with the hair band around his wrist.
Review... Edward is right up behind you, growling in your ear "Review or I'll fire my new assistant and you won't hear more of me..."