Disclaimer: I do not own any Gundam wing characters, they all belong to their respective owners. I don't own BBMAK or "Next Time", either.
Claimer: I did write the song "Tell Me Why" , so it's mine.
Tell me why
a Gundam Wing SongFic
//you saw a tear roll down my cheek
I knew what was coming you started to speak
you bid me good-bye, I sobbed, and I cried
while you turned around, and left me behind.//
"Relena, we can't be together..." Heero said.
*This has to be a dream* I thought. *a horrible nightmare. wake up, Relena, Wake up.* I thought.
But it wasn't a dream at all. A warm tear rolled down my cheek, and I wiped it away.
"I love you Heero." I said, in hopes of persuading him not to leave me.
He winced, and looked away.
"Relena, it just can't work. don't try to coax me back, because this time, it won't work."
*But Heero, I love you, I can't lose you...* I thought.
"But why Heero, why can't it work??" I questioned him. He glared at me coldly.
"I am the perfect soldier," He started, but stopped, and began again.
"Good-bye Relena." He quickly turned around, and climbed up into his Gundam.
I watched him, memorizing his every move. I sent him my feelings, praying that somehow he would receive them. * Come back to me Heero, don't leave me...Please....* Streams of tears ran down my face, and I called out his name, but he never faltered as he flew his Gundam out into space, taking my heart along for the ride.
*Goodbye, my Heero. Good-bye, my love.*
//please tell me why, I need to know,
won't you please tell me, why did you go?
the least you can do is tell me the truth,
I have a right to know.//
[one week later]
After Heero left, I stood alone. I stared at the sky, hoping to see Heero's shooting star. it eventually sunk in that he was really gone, and that this time, he wasn't coming back. I went straight home, changed into pajamas, and curled up in my bed. I've been there since, trying to figure out why he left me, when everything had been going so well. Just one day out of the blue, he had called and asked me to go out to where his Gundam was hidden, and then hung up without saying "Good-bye" or "I love you". His voice had been hard and constricted, unlike the Heero I had known lately. I had gone out not knowing what to expect, and came back cold, alone, and empty inside. I sobbed at the memory, clutching the teddy bear he had given to me months ago in my hands.
"Damn you, Heero. why did you leave?" I whispered into the thin air around me.
//all I want to know is why,
why you decided to leave me behind,
why did you take your love away,
was it something I did, something I said?//
[the next day]
I still laid curled in my bed, clutching the small stuffed bear, when there was a knock at my door. I sat up, startled.
"Who is it?" I called out.
"It's Hilde." a familiar voice answered. I looked at the bedroom door hesitantly.
*Should I let her in? maybe she knows something about why Heero left!*
"Come in!" I yelled.
Hilde opened the door a crack, and peeked in. "I brought you some food. I wasn't sure when the last time you ate was." She said.
I smiled warmly at her. Hilde sort of knew what I was going through, except her pilot was only gone on a mission, and we both knew Duo would be coming back to her. she put the plate down on the small table next to my bed, and sat down next to me.
"How are you doing?" she asked.
*horrible.* I thought. " I'm OK, I guess." Is what I actually said. she nodded, and smiled at me.
"Hilde, do you know why Heero left? I mean, has Duo told you anything, or maybe..." I trailed off.
she shook her head. "I'm sorry Relena. I wish I did know something. you know Heero hasn't spoken to anyone at all since he left. The second he calls, the phone will be yours. but right now, the other guys are worried about you. You should come downstairs."
My hopes of her knowing something were slashed. It was back to depression for me. I sighed.
"Maybe later, Hilde. I think I'm gonna take a nap right now." I scrunched down under the covers, and buried my face into a pillow. Hilde got up, and left the room, shutting the door behind her. then something hit me. I was thinking Heero left because there was something wrong with him. Wrong. Maybe there's something wrong with me. I dozed off to sleep, scolding myself for being so dumb and ignorant.
//Did you ever love me so?
if you said that you did, why did you go?//
[3 hours later]
I screamed, and sat up in my bed. my breathing was heavy, and I was sweating. Heero haunts my dreams, giving me nightmares or bringing back memories when I sleep. I had had the most horrible nightmare. Heero and I were standing in the field again, but it was different this time. "I've never loved you," he had said, before pulling out a gun, and shooting three times. there was a knock on the door again, and I heard Quatre say "Relena, Heero is downstairs." I flew out of bed and to the door. I threw it open.
"What?!" I asked. Quatre stood before me, as innocent looking as always.
"Heero is downstairs." He repeated. all of a sudden, a new voice came out of nowhere.
"No I'm not." Heero said. Quatre moved aside, and Heero now stood in front of me.
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Quatre moved aside, and Heero now stood in front of me.
"Heero." I said, using the same cold voice he often did.
He turned to Quatre, and said "Quatre, I think I need to talk to Relena in private."
I watched as Quatre turned the corner, and I heard his footsteps pound down the steps. I faced Heero, and he looked down at me.
"Relena, I'm sorry, I--"
I cut him off. "Sorry for what? for leaving my life a living hell for the last 8 days?!" I caught him by surprise, and shoved him back violently.
"In fact," I started, "You've made my life hell from the very beginning. threatening to destroy me, pulling a gun on me...wait, you did that a couple times." I shoved him again.
"Maybe I should have let Duo shoot you. then the world would be rid of one suicidal murderer." I regretted the last phrase as soon as it left my mouth. for once, Heero showed emotion. he looked shocked, and hurt. he stepped closer to me.
"Relena, I've never meant to hurt you." I moved to shove him away from me, but he caught my arm and held me in place.
"Listen." he said. I struggled with him, fighting to free my arm.
"LISTEN RELENA." I stopped struggling. and stood still. sometimes you don't want to piss Heero off.
"What?" I asked.
"Relena, do you remember what I said the day I took off? the whole perfect soldier thing? I never finished what I was going to say."
I dug my nails into his hand, and he didn't even flinch. I did a roundhouse kick on him, but he dodged, and caught my leg in mid air.
"Let go!" I screamed at him, and pulled away.
"Listen to me Relena," he said. "Do you remember what I said about being the perfect soldier?"
I nodded, and backed away from him, towards the stairs. he advanced on me, and grabbed my shoulders.
"Listen. do you know what I was going to say?" I shook my head.
"I almost said I am the perfect soldier, and you are my only weakness. I left because I didn't want to you to get hurt because of Me."
He pressed his lips against mine roughly. I pulled away from him, shocked, and pissed off.
"Is this how think its going to be?" I yelled at him. "You leave my life a living hell, and expect to show up out of the blue one day, and that makes it all better?! When you leave, it hurts me worse than any physical wounds ever will!"
he looked at me, a shocked expression on his face. his eyes were glazed over, as if he didn't understand what I was trying to say.
"You know what Heero? I do love you. but you WILL NOT do this to me. I will not be your little groupie. I'm sick of your secrets, your suicide attempts, and all the other bullshit you pull." He was still staring at me, dumbfounded. "This time, you can't make it all better." I turned and went into my room, locking the door behind me.
I locked all the windows, too. knowing Heero, he'd try to find an alternate way to me. I laid back on my bed, and closed my eyes briefly. Memories of Heero flickered through my mind. I chose one, and lost myself in remembering it.
We were standing in a hallway of Quatre's mansion, in front of Heero's bedroom door. "Relena, Will you wait for me? I wish I didn't have to leave tomorrow, but... I want something to look forward to coming back to."
"Heero, if you don't want to, don't leave."
"I have to. it's a mission. " I sighed.
"ok. I guess I'll be waiting until you get back." I turned, and started to walk away.
"Relena wait." I stopped, and faced him. he moved in closer to me, watching me hesitantly. One of his arms slid around my waist, and he lowered his lips to mine in a gentle kiss.
I sighed, and sat up. I would always have my memories.
I pulled my suitcase out from under the bed. *God damn you, Heero. you love me, leave me, come back and expect it to be all better. you don't understand a girl. the more her heart breaks, the harder it is to heal.* I walked over to my closet. I pulled the clothes off the hangers, and shoved them into the suitcase. *This time, Heero, there's no going back.* I pulled out my dresser drawers and emptied them into the suitcase. *That was the last straw.*
I took a shower, and put on some clean clothes. but instead of my usual clothes, I put on blue jeans, and a light blue T-shirt. I pulled on some sneakers, and picked up my suitcase. *Time for a new beginning. I'll be independent for once.* I slipped out of my room, and crept down the stairs quietly. I glanced around, and no one was in sight. I ran to the back door, and outside. once I was outside, I took a deep breath. * How could I have stayed in that stuffy room for so long?* I wondered. I looked at the beautiful trees and nature surrounding me. * I think I'm going to like being independent.*
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A.N. "Next Time" Seems to be everyone's favorite out of my little series. I don't why i'm telling you that, but yup. Anywayz, Keep reading!
Next time
a Gundam wing SongFic
//I lie awake at night,
I try but can't deny,
that I can't make it without her//
*Why can't I sleep?* I thought. I rolled over and closed my eyes, but images of Relena flooded my mind.
"Relena." I sighed.
*I have to move on, I can make it alone. I always did before.* I untwisted the bed sheets tangled around me. *Maybe I can't make it alone. She changed me so much...*
//I can't forget the day,
I let her slip away,
and I'm still dreamin about her//
About hour later, I fell into a restless sleep.
Heero's dream
"I love you, Heero." Relena whispered, near tears.
"Relena, It just can't work. Don't try to coax me back, because this time, it won't work." I said.
The same dream, the same mistake, every time. No matter how I fight it, it's always the same.
"But Heero, why can't it work? Heero...Heero..." Relena's voice slowly faded away, turning into another familiar voice.
"Heero. Heero! Wake up!" I woke to see Duo's face hovering above me, Wide awake and smiling at three in the morning.
"Finally! I'm hungry."
"So? there is a kitchen complete with a cook downstairs. Why do you require my help?"
I heard a new voice from the hallway. "Just get up." Quatre said.
"Yeah, he's not gonna give up." Trowa said with a yawn.
I glanced at the door to see Quatre, Trowa and Wufei standing in the hall, more like leaning on the wall to keep from falling down. Duo continued talking.
"The rest of the guys and me are gonna walk into town for some ice cream. "
I glanced at my clock. The Green numbers were lit up 3:03 AM.
"At three in the morning?" I asked.
//Can a heart forgive?
cause I just can't live without her//
(About an hour and a half later, most of the g-boys had gone to bed, except for Quatre and Heero, who were still eating.)
"Quatre? Do you think Lee will forgive me?" I asked.
"I don't know...What exactly happened after I went back downstairs?" he asked.
"Well, we got in a fight."
"You mean an argument? Or physical?"
"Both."
"You didn't hurt her, did you?"
"Not physically. She was yelling at me about how I'd hurt her worse than any physical wound ever has."
"Ouch."
"Yeah."
//The next time you see my girl,
won't you say that I, I would die,
I would die to hold her,//
"Quatre, I miss her. I wish could have her here, in my arms..."
" I'm sorry Heero. I can't help you there. But if I see her..."
//The next time you see my girl,
won't you tell her, I love her,
the next time you see my girl//
"Tell her I love her. If you see her, tell her I love her. and that I need her to come back." I said.
"OK. but shouldn't we get some sleep? Especially you. I can hear you walking around at night, you insomniac." He said with a smile. I nodded, and watched Quatre go upstairs.
//I walk the streets at night,
see lovers passing by,//
After Quatre went to bed, I wasn't tired. The sugar from the three bowls of ice cream was rushing through my blood, making me restless. I got up, and wandered around the mansion for a while. There were a bunch of pictures on a desk, and one caught my eye. I sat down in the desk chair, and picked it up. *Someone was spying on us!*
It was a picture of Relena and I in the garden around back, holding hands. I opened the back of the frame, and pulled out the picture. I put in my back pocket, and continued looking at the other pictures.
There was a couple of all five Gundams, and one picture of Relena and I I had seen before. It used to be on her dresser. In it she had jumped on my back, and I was trying to keep from dropping her onto the pavement. *Relena, come back.* I thought.
Getting restless again, I took off. as I walked back into town, I passed a young girl, standing alone. as I watched, a young boy appeared behind her, flowers hidden behind his back. she looked startled when she realized he was there, but she smiled, and they walked away, hand in hand.
//And it's all a reminder
of what it used to be
when she was here with me//
Watching the young couple brought back memories. Specifically, my favorite memory.
Heero's memory
I sat up in bed, struggling to hear. I heard light footsteps tiptoe down the stairs, and faintly heard a door close. I got up, and pulled on some clothes. *Why is someone leaving at midnight?* I wondered. I left my room, and went downstairs. through a window in the kitchen, I could see Relena sitting in the garden. I walked outside, careful not to disturb her. She had her eyes closed, and she was sitting on a stone bench.
"I know you are there, Heero." She said.
*How did she know?? I can sneak around military bases without being caught, but I can't hide in a garden?!* I walked over to her, and she opened her eyes.
"Sit." She said. I sat down, and she put her small hand over mine. I glanced down, partially surprised by her action.
"What are you doing outside this late?" I asked.
"The garden calms me. why did you follow me out here??" she asked.
"You woke me up. I thought maybe something was wrong."
"Nothing is wrong. but I have one question for you."
"What??" I asked, curious.
She looked me straight in the eye, and sighed. "Do you love me?" she asked, averting her eyes.
*Why is she asking me this?* "Umm...yeah."
"Then how come you don't say it?"
I was stumped. "I don't know... We should go back inside." I said quickly.
I stood up, and offered her my hand. she took it, and pulled herself up. We walked back inside, and upstairs.
"Goodnight Relena." I whispered, so I wouldn't wake anyone up.
"Goodnight Heero." She stood on tiptoe, and kissed my cheek. she turned and went into her room. *Wow.* We had been dating, but we never really got close. I put my hand on my cheek, rubbing the spot where her lips had been. *Wow.*
//I only wish I could find her,
cause she disappeared,
and I'm waiting right here for her//
*Relena, why are you hiding from me? Please come back... I'll make it all better when you do... I swear, I'll never screw up again. but until I find you, or you come back, I'm waiting for you. right here, where I've been since you left.*
//The next time you see my girl
won't you say that I, I would die,
I would die to hold her,
the next time you see my girl,
won't you tell her, I love her,
the next time you see my girl//
I shoved my cold hands into my pockets, thankful I was wearing jeans instead of shorts for once, and kept walking. I walked back home, and headed up to my room. as I neared my bedroom, I heard a faint beeping sound. Everyone was still asleep, so it was silent except for the beeping. I opened my door, and saw it was laptop. I had email. *Who would email me at this time?* I wondered. I picked my laptop up, and set it on my bed, in front of me. I opened it, and clicked on my email. I had a message from Dr. J, but I bypassed it, and opened one up called RE: Missing. "Missing" was a post I put up about a week after Relena left, when I couldn't find her. I scanned the email. it said;
Hey Yuy01,
I have a friend, Relena, who just moved into my apartment building. She told me she'd been having relationship problems previously, and that's why she moved. Could she be you missing Lee?
Codeyboy123
I tried not to let my hopes up, but I couldn't help it. *I've found her! It has to be her! I know it is!* I hit the reply button, and typed quickly.
Codeyboy123,
Yes, your friend might be my Lee. If her name is Relena Peacecraft, or Relena Darlian, Please tell her that Heero loves her, and he needs her to come back, cause he misses her a lot. Thank you.
Yuy01
//I close my eyes,
I see her face,
and I realize,
I had it all,
but I set her free//
I sent the email, and prayed for another reply to come soon. I leaned back onto my pillows, and closed my eyes. all thoughts fled my mind, and images of Lee filled my mind. Her pretty face, laughing and smiling, even when we were fighting in the hall. *God, how could I screw up again?! I've never meant to hurt her ... that's why I left in the first place. but I just hurt her again. God Lee, come back.*
//The next time you see my girl,
won't you say that I, I would die,
I would die to hold her,
the next time you see my girl,
won't you tell her, I love her,
the next time you see my girl.//
*Codeyboy123, whoever you are, please tell Lee I need her. I love her.*
"Please come back Relena. I love you."
~~Meanwhile, at Codeyboy123's~~
A blonde haired boy sat in front of a computer, playing a game of solitaire.
"You've got mail!!" it proclaimed loudly. he reached over and turned the volume down. he clicked over to AOL and opened the email. he scanned over it. it was from Yuy01, someone who had put up a post about one of his friends.
* So you are the missing Lee, Relena.* he thought. *But no way am I gonna let you go back to him. you're mine now.* he deleted the email, and shut off the computer.
"You're mine now. all mine."
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[one month later]
I groaned and pulled a pillow over my head. *I hate getting up for work. I should be used to it after a month and a half but....* I slapped the alarm until it shutup. I rolled out of my bed, and stumbled into my minuscule bathroom. I turned on the shower, and shed my clothing. I stepped into the shower. The warm water blasting at me slowly woke me up. *Mmm, what a nice dream. I miss Heero. I wish he really would track me down and whisk me away...No! I have a date with Codey tonight! but I don't love Codey...not like I do Heero.* I twisted the shower knobs until the water was only dripping from the shower head. I pushed the shower curtain aside, and grabbed a towel. I wrapped it around me, and stepped out of the shower. *but Codey was so nice to me the day I left. giving a complete stranger a ride. And then insisting on lunch the next day...* I smiled. Codey was nice, but he can't compare to Heero.
I walked into my bedroom, and pulled an outfit out of my closet. I pulled the Powder blue dress over my head. *Wait, is today...* I walked out into the slightly bigger living room, and straight to my calendar *Yes! it's my day off!* I collapsed onto the couch, and fell back asleep.
I sat at the desk in the corner of my room, a blank piece of paper in front of me, My hand poised over it. I had finally found Relena, and now I would get her back.
* I love you as much as, as, I don't love anything as much as I love you, Relena. I WILL get you back. No matter what it takes. Now, if I could only figure out how to write a poem...* I made a small scribble across the top of the page, testing the pen in my hand. I closed my eyes, and images of Relena floated by. and then, the words just came. I snapped out of my trance, and scribbled them down quickly.
* I've loved you from the start, since I looked into your eyes, I felt it in my heart, I'm telling you no lies...* I hesitated, and the words stopped. *Should I really be writing poetry? if someone finds out I'm writing a poem, they'll never let me live it down...Especially not Duo.* I closed my eyes again, and the words started again. *I've loved you from the start, but sometimes love is blind, scared to follow my heart, I listen to my mind. I've loved you from the start...* The words just kept flowing, unstoppable. Finally, ten minutes later, I was finished. I opened the desk drawer, and pulled out an envelope. I carefully folded the piece of paper, and slid it into the envelope. I sealed it, and Wrote Relena Peacecraft on the front. I walked out of my room, and down the hall towards the stairs, pausing at Relena's old room. I don't go in there much, but I went in, and sat down on the bed. * I will get you back, Lee. I promise.*
I yawned and sat up slowly. I was still on the couch, where I was when I discovered it was my day off. I glanced around the small living room. It was done in shades of pink and white. There was a framed picture of all 5 of the Gundam pilots on the wall, and one of Codey. *Codey, you are too nice. Giving me rides, taking me out to lunch, Finding me a place to stay, and helping me move in...* I smiled at the memory of him insisting on moving the bookshelf himself, only to drop it on his foot. *You are the best friend I could wish for. Why you still ask me out when you know I love Heero, I have no idea...* The doorbell buzzed. * Who's that?? Codey's at college, and no one else knows where I live...* Curious, I got up, and opened the door a crack. No one was there. I stepped out into the hall of the apartment building, and slipped on a piece of paper. all it said was Relena Peacecraft on the front. Inspecting it, I walked back into the house and shut the door. I walked into the kitchen off the living room, and grabbed a soda out of the fridge. I went back into the living room, and sat down on the couch. I opened the mysterious envelope, and pulled out a slip of paper. it had a small scribble at the top, and the rest said;
I've loved you from the start,
since I looked into your eyes,
I felt it in my heart,
I'm telling you no lies,
I've loved you from the start,
but sometimes love is blind,
scared to follow my heart,
I listen to my mind,
that I've loved from the start,
way down deep inside,
somewhere in my heart,
where all these feelings hide,
I've loved you from the start,
and now I've realized,
it's time to let my heart,
be my only guide,
I've loved you from the start,
since I looked into your eyes,
I felt it in my heart,
I'm telling you no lies,
I've loved you from the start.
I read it to myself, then out loud. Then to myself again. *Who would send this to me??* I thought. then I saw the tiny signature at the bottom. Heero Yuy. Heero had left this for me. He had finally found me.
I carefully placed the envelope on the doorstep of Relena's apartment, and rang the bell. her door was right by the corner, so I went around the corner, until I heard her door open and shut. I glanced back at Relena's door, and the envelope was gone. I turned, and walked out of the apartment building. * Now it's only a matter of time. *
I caught the bus back home, and got there at about 3:30. *I have to write another poem. then deliver it tomorrow. but this time, I'll remember NOT to sign my name. or at least, not to send the original copy.* I went inside, and up to my room.
*Or maybe...I've got a better idea.* I went back downstairs.
"Hey Quatre, when does the last city bus leave?" He shrugged his shoulders.
"Trowa?"
"Eight."
"OK." I turned and walked towards the door.
"Say hi to Relena for Me."
* How does he know I found Relena? Oh well. I'll find out later.*
I folded the poem back up, and replaced it in the envelope. It would go in my nightstand drawer, with the teddy bear, and only picture of Heero and i. I glanced at the clock. 3:30. *I should get ready. Codey will be here soon.* Codey and I were going to have an early dinner, and then to a movie. I looked down at the dress I was still wearing, and sighed. into my room I went. I pulled a pilsver (purple/silver) shirt and a black skirt out of the closet. I pulled them on, and went into the bathroom, and pulled out my make-up. I brushed some blush on, and found my matching pilsver lipstick. the doorbell rang. *oy, he's early...* I quickly applied the lipstick, and ran to the door. I pulled it open, and saw not Codey on my doorstep, but Heero. *What the...* Then I noticed Codey turning the corner, flowers in hand. "Expecting someone?" Heero asked, leaning against the door frame.
Claimer: I did write the song "Tell Me Why" , so it's mine.
Tell me why
a Gundam Wing SongFic
//you saw a tear roll down my cheek
I knew what was coming you started to speak
you bid me good-bye, I sobbed, and I cried
while you turned around, and left me behind.//
"Relena, we can't be together..." Heero said.
*This has to be a dream* I thought. *a horrible nightmare. wake up, Relena, Wake up.* I thought.
But it wasn't a dream at all. A warm tear rolled down my cheek, and I wiped it away.
"I love you Heero." I said, in hopes of persuading him not to leave me.
He winced, and looked away.
"Relena, it just can't work. don't try to coax me back, because this time, it won't work."
*But Heero, I love you, I can't lose you...* I thought.
"But why Heero, why can't it work??" I questioned him. He glared at me coldly.
"I am the perfect soldier," He started, but stopped, and began again.
"Good-bye Relena." He quickly turned around, and climbed up into his Gundam.
I watched him, memorizing his every move. I sent him my feelings, praying that somehow he would receive them. * Come back to me Heero, don't leave me...Please....* Streams of tears ran down my face, and I called out his name, but he never faltered as he flew his Gundam out into space, taking my heart along for the ride.
*Goodbye, my Heero. Good-bye, my love.*
//please tell me why, I need to know,
won't you please tell me, why did you go?
the least you can do is tell me the truth,
I have a right to know.//
[one week later]
After Heero left, I stood alone. I stared at the sky, hoping to see Heero's shooting star. it eventually sunk in that he was really gone, and that this time, he wasn't coming back. I went straight home, changed into pajamas, and curled up in my bed. I've been there since, trying to figure out why he left me, when everything had been going so well. Just one day out of the blue, he had called and asked me to go out to where his Gundam was hidden, and then hung up without saying "Good-bye" or "I love you". His voice had been hard and constricted, unlike the Heero I had known lately. I had gone out not knowing what to expect, and came back cold, alone, and empty inside. I sobbed at the memory, clutching the teddy bear he had given to me months ago in my hands.
"Damn you, Heero. why did you leave?" I whispered into the thin air around me.
//all I want to know is why,
why you decided to leave me behind,
why did you take your love away,
was it something I did, something I said?//
[the next day]
I still laid curled in my bed, clutching the small stuffed bear, when there was a knock at my door. I sat up, startled.
"Who is it?" I called out.
"It's Hilde." a familiar voice answered. I looked at the bedroom door hesitantly.
*Should I let her in? maybe she knows something about why Heero left!*
"Come in!" I yelled.
Hilde opened the door a crack, and peeked in. "I brought you some food. I wasn't sure when the last time you ate was." She said.
I smiled warmly at her. Hilde sort of knew what I was going through, except her pilot was only gone on a mission, and we both knew Duo would be coming back to her. she put the plate down on the small table next to my bed, and sat down next to me.
"How are you doing?" she asked.
*horrible.* I thought. " I'm OK, I guess." Is what I actually said. she nodded, and smiled at me.
"Hilde, do you know why Heero left? I mean, has Duo told you anything, or maybe..." I trailed off.
she shook her head. "I'm sorry Relena. I wish I did know something. you know Heero hasn't spoken to anyone at all since he left. The second he calls, the phone will be yours. but right now, the other guys are worried about you. You should come downstairs."
My hopes of her knowing something were slashed. It was back to depression for me. I sighed.
"Maybe later, Hilde. I think I'm gonna take a nap right now." I scrunched down under the covers, and buried my face into a pillow. Hilde got up, and left the room, shutting the door behind her. then something hit me. I was thinking Heero left because there was something wrong with him. Wrong. Maybe there's something wrong with me. I dozed off to sleep, scolding myself for being so dumb and ignorant.
//Did you ever love me so?
if you said that you did, why did you go?//
[3 hours later]
I screamed, and sat up in my bed. my breathing was heavy, and I was sweating. Heero haunts my dreams, giving me nightmares or bringing back memories when I sleep. I had had the most horrible nightmare. Heero and I were standing in the field again, but it was different this time. "I've never loved you," he had said, before pulling out a gun, and shooting three times. there was a knock on the door again, and I heard Quatre say "Relena, Heero is downstairs." I flew out of bed and to the door. I threw it open.
"What?!" I asked. Quatre stood before me, as innocent looking as always.
"Heero is downstairs." He repeated. all of a sudden, a new voice came out of nowhere.
"No I'm not." Heero said. Quatre moved aside, and Heero now stood in front of me.
<><><><><><><><><>><><><>End of Song<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Quatre moved aside, and Heero now stood in front of me.
"Heero." I said, using the same cold voice he often did.
He turned to Quatre, and said "Quatre, I think I need to talk to Relena in private."
I watched as Quatre turned the corner, and I heard his footsteps pound down the steps. I faced Heero, and he looked down at me.
"Relena, I'm sorry, I--"
I cut him off. "Sorry for what? for leaving my life a living hell for the last 8 days?!" I caught him by surprise, and shoved him back violently.
"In fact," I started, "You've made my life hell from the very beginning. threatening to destroy me, pulling a gun on me...wait, you did that a couple times." I shoved him again.
"Maybe I should have let Duo shoot you. then the world would be rid of one suicidal murderer." I regretted the last phrase as soon as it left my mouth. for once, Heero showed emotion. he looked shocked, and hurt. he stepped closer to me.
"Relena, I've never meant to hurt you." I moved to shove him away from me, but he caught my arm and held me in place.
"Listen." he said. I struggled with him, fighting to free my arm.
"LISTEN RELENA." I stopped struggling. and stood still. sometimes you don't want to piss Heero off.
"What?" I asked.
"Relena, do you remember what I said the day I took off? the whole perfect soldier thing? I never finished what I was going to say."
I dug my nails into his hand, and he didn't even flinch. I did a roundhouse kick on him, but he dodged, and caught my leg in mid air.
"Let go!" I screamed at him, and pulled away.
"Listen to me Relena," he said. "Do you remember what I said about being the perfect soldier?"
I nodded, and backed away from him, towards the stairs. he advanced on me, and grabbed my shoulders.
"Listen. do you know what I was going to say?" I shook my head.
"I almost said I am the perfect soldier, and you are my only weakness. I left because I didn't want to you to get hurt because of Me."
He pressed his lips against mine roughly. I pulled away from him, shocked, and pissed off.
"Is this how think its going to be?" I yelled at him. "You leave my life a living hell, and expect to show up out of the blue one day, and that makes it all better?! When you leave, it hurts me worse than any physical wounds ever will!"
he looked at me, a shocked expression on his face. his eyes were glazed over, as if he didn't understand what I was trying to say.
"You know what Heero? I do love you. but you WILL NOT do this to me. I will not be your little groupie. I'm sick of your secrets, your suicide attempts, and all the other bullshit you pull." He was still staring at me, dumbfounded. "This time, you can't make it all better." I turned and went into my room, locking the door behind me.
I locked all the windows, too. knowing Heero, he'd try to find an alternate way to me. I laid back on my bed, and closed my eyes briefly. Memories of Heero flickered through my mind. I chose one, and lost myself in remembering it.
We were standing in a hallway of Quatre's mansion, in front of Heero's bedroom door. "Relena, Will you wait for me? I wish I didn't have to leave tomorrow, but... I want something to look forward to coming back to."
"Heero, if you don't want to, don't leave."
"I have to. it's a mission. " I sighed.
"ok. I guess I'll be waiting until you get back." I turned, and started to walk away.
"Relena wait." I stopped, and faced him. he moved in closer to me, watching me hesitantly. One of his arms slid around my waist, and he lowered his lips to mine in a gentle kiss.
I sighed, and sat up. I would always have my memories.
I pulled my suitcase out from under the bed. *God damn you, Heero. you love me, leave me, come back and expect it to be all better. you don't understand a girl. the more her heart breaks, the harder it is to heal.* I walked over to my closet. I pulled the clothes off the hangers, and shoved them into the suitcase. *This time, Heero, there's no going back.* I pulled out my dresser drawers and emptied them into the suitcase. *That was the last straw.*
I took a shower, and put on some clean clothes. but instead of my usual clothes, I put on blue jeans, and a light blue T-shirt. I pulled on some sneakers, and picked up my suitcase. *Time for a new beginning. I'll be independent for once.* I slipped out of my room, and crept down the stairs quietly. I glanced around, and no one was in sight. I ran to the back door, and outside. once I was outside, I took a deep breath. * How could I have stayed in that stuffy room for so long?* I wondered. I looked at the beautiful trees and nature surrounding me. * I think I'm going to like being independent.*
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A.N. "Next Time" Seems to be everyone's favorite out of my little series. I don't why i'm telling you that, but yup. Anywayz, Keep reading!
Next time
a Gundam wing SongFic
//I lie awake at night,
I try but can't deny,
that I can't make it without her//
*Why can't I sleep?* I thought. I rolled over and closed my eyes, but images of Relena flooded my mind.
"Relena." I sighed.
*I have to move on, I can make it alone. I always did before.* I untwisted the bed sheets tangled around me. *Maybe I can't make it alone. She changed me so much...*
//I can't forget the day,
I let her slip away,
and I'm still dreamin about her//
About hour later, I fell into a restless sleep.
Heero's dream
"I love you, Heero." Relena whispered, near tears.
"Relena, It just can't work. Don't try to coax me back, because this time, it won't work." I said.
The same dream, the same mistake, every time. No matter how I fight it, it's always the same.
"But Heero, why can't it work? Heero...Heero..." Relena's voice slowly faded away, turning into another familiar voice.
"Heero. Heero! Wake up!" I woke to see Duo's face hovering above me, Wide awake and smiling at three in the morning.
"Finally! I'm hungry."
"So? there is a kitchen complete with a cook downstairs. Why do you require my help?"
I heard a new voice from the hallway. "Just get up." Quatre said.
"Yeah, he's not gonna give up." Trowa said with a yawn.
I glanced at the door to see Quatre, Trowa and Wufei standing in the hall, more like leaning on the wall to keep from falling down. Duo continued talking.
"The rest of the guys and me are gonna walk into town for some ice cream. "
I glanced at my clock. The Green numbers were lit up 3:03 AM.
"At three in the morning?" I asked.
//Can a heart forgive?
cause I just can't live without her//
(About an hour and a half later, most of the g-boys had gone to bed, except for Quatre and Heero, who were still eating.)
"Quatre? Do you think Lee will forgive me?" I asked.
"I don't know...What exactly happened after I went back downstairs?" he asked.
"Well, we got in a fight."
"You mean an argument? Or physical?"
"Both."
"You didn't hurt her, did you?"
"Not physically. She was yelling at me about how I'd hurt her worse than any physical wound ever has."
"Ouch."
"Yeah."
//The next time you see my girl,
won't you say that I, I would die,
I would die to hold her,//
"Quatre, I miss her. I wish could have her here, in my arms..."
" I'm sorry Heero. I can't help you there. But if I see her..."
//The next time you see my girl,
won't you tell her, I love her,
the next time you see my girl//
"Tell her I love her. If you see her, tell her I love her. and that I need her to come back." I said.
"OK. but shouldn't we get some sleep? Especially you. I can hear you walking around at night, you insomniac." He said with a smile. I nodded, and watched Quatre go upstairs.
//I walk the streets at night,
see lovers passing by,//
After Quatre went to bed, I wasn't tired. The sugar from the three bowls of ice cream was rushing through my blood, making me restless. I got up, and wandered around the mansion for a while. There were a bunch of pictures on a desk, and one caught my eye. I sat down in the desk chair, and picked it up. *Someone was spying on us!*
It was a picture of Relena and I in the garden around back, holding hands. I opened the back of the frame, and pulled out the picture. I put in my back pocket, and continued looking at the other pictures.
There was a couple of all five Gundams, and one picture of Relena and I I had seen before. It used to be on her dresser. In it she had jumped on my back, and I was trying to keep from dropping her onto the pavement. *Relena, come back.* I thought.
Getting restless again, I took off. as I walked back into town, I passed a young girl, standing alone. as I watched, a young boy appeared behind her, flowers hidden behind his back. she looked startled when she realized he was there, but she smiled, and they walked away, hand in hand.
//And it's all a reminder
of what it used to be
when she was here with me//
Watching the young couple brought back memories. Specifically, my favorite memory.
Heero's memory
I sat up in bed, struggling to hear. I heard light footsteps tiptoe down the stairs, and faintly heard a door close. I got up, and pulled on some clothes. *Why is someone leaving at midnight?* I wondered. I left my room, and went downstairs. through a window in the kitchen, I could see Relena sitting in the garden. I walked outside, careful not to disturb her. She had her eyes closed, and she was sitting on a stone bench.
"I know you are there, Heero." She said.
*How did she know?? I can sneak around military bases without being caught, but I can't hide in a garden?!* I walked over to her, and she opened her eyes.
"Sit." She said. I sat down, and she put her small hand over mine. I glanced down, partially surprised by her action.
"What are you doing outside this late?" I asked.
"The garden calms me. why did you follow me out here??" she asked.
"You woke me up. I thought maybe something was wrong."
"Nothing is wrong. but I have one question for you."
"What??" I asked, curious.
She looked me straight in the eye, and sighed. "Do you love me?" she asked, averting her eyes.
*Why is she asking me this?* "Umm...yeah."
"Then how come you don't say it?"
I was stumped. "I don't know... We should go back inside." I said quickly.
I stood up, and offered her my hand. she took it, and pulled herself up. We walked back inside, and upstairs.
"Goodnight Relena." I whispered, so I wouldn't wake anyone up.
"Goodnight Heero." She stood on tiptoe, and kissed my cheek. she turned and went into her room. *Wow.* We had been dating, but we never really got close. I put my hand on my cheek, rubbing the spot where her lips had been. *Wow.*
//I only wish I could find her,
cause she disappeared,
and I'm waiting right here for her//
*Relena, why are you hiding from me? Please come back... I'll make it all better when you do... I swear, I'll never screw up again. but until I find you, or you come back, I'm waiting for you. right here, where I've been since you left.*
//The next time you see my girl
won't you say that I, I would die,
I would die to hold her,
the next time you see my girl,
won't you tell her, I love her,
the next time you see my girl//
I shoved my cold hands into my pockets, thankful I was wearing jeans instead of shorts for once, and kept walking. I walked back home, and headed up to my room. as I neared my bedroom, I heard a faint beeping sound. Everyone was still asleep, so it was silent except for the beeping. I opened my door, and saw it was laptop. I had email. *Who would email me at this time?* I wondered. I picked my laptop up, and set it on my bed, in front of me. I opened it, and clicked on my email. I had a message from Dr. J, but I bypassed it, and opened one up called RE: Missing. "Missing" was a post I put up about a week after Relena left, when I couldn't find her. I scanned the email. it said;
Hey Yuy01,
I have a friend, Relena, who just moved into my apartment building. She told me she'd been having relationship problems previously, and that's why she moved. Could she be you missing Lee?
Codeyboy123
I tried not to let my hopes up, but I couldn't help it. *I've found her! It has to be her! I know it is!* I hit the reply button, and typed quickly.
Codeyboy123,
Yes, your friend might be my Lee. If her name is Relena Peacecraft, or Relena Darlian, Please tell her that Heero loves her, and he needs her to come back, cause he misses her a lot. Thank you.
Yuy01
//I close my eyes,
I see her face,
and I realize,
I had it all,
but I set her free//
I sent the email, and prayed for another reply to come soon. I leaned back onto my pillows, and closed my eyes. all thoughts fled my mind, and images of Lee filled my mind. Her pretty face, laughing and smiling, even when we were fighting in the hall. *God, how could I screw up again?! I've never meant to hurt her ... that's why I left in the first place. but I just hurt her again. God Lee, come back.*
//The next time you see my girl,
won't you say that I, I would die,
I would die to hold her,
the next time you see my girl,
won't you tell her, I love her,
the next time you see my girl.//
*Codeyboy123, whoever you are, please tell Lee I need her. I love her.*
"Please come back Relena. I love you."
~~Meanwhile, at Codeyboy123's~~
A blonde haired boy sat in front of a computer, playing a game of solitaire.
"You've got mail!!" it proclaimed loudly. he reached over and turned the volume down. he clicked over to AOL and opened the email. he scanned over it. it was from Yuy01, someone who had put up a post about one of his friends.
* So you are the missing Lee, Relena.* he thought. *But no way am I gonna let you go back to him. you're mine now.* he deleted the email, and shut off the computer.
"You're mine now. all mine."
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[one month later]
I groaned and pulled a pillow over my head. *I hate getting up for work. I should be used to it after a month and a half but....* I slapped the alarm until it shutup. I rolled out of my bed, and stumbled into my minuscule bathroom. I turned on the shower, and shed my clothing. I stepped into the shower. The warm water blasting at me slowly woke me up. *Mmm, what a nice dream. I miss Heero. I wish he really would track me down and whisk me away...No! I have a date with Codey tonight! but I don't love Codey...not like I do Heero.* I twisted the shower knobs until the water was only dripping from the shower head. I pushed the shower curtain aside, and grabbed a towel. I wrapped it around me, and stepped out of the shower. *but Codey was so nice to me the day I left. giving a complete stranger a ride. And then insisting on lunch the next day...* I smiled. Codey was nice, but he can't compare to Heero.
I walked into my bedroom, and pulled an outfit out of my closet. I pulled the Powder blue dress over my head. *Wait, is today...* I walked out into the slightly bigger living room, and straight to my calendar *Yes! it's my day off!* I collapsed onto the couch, and fell back asleep.
I sat at the desk in the corner of my room, a blank piece of paper in front of me, My hand poised over it. I had finally found Relena, and now I would get her back.
* I love you as much as, as, I don't love anything as much as I love you, Relena. I WILL get you back. No matter what it takes. Now, if I could only figure out how to write a poem...* I made a small scribble across the top of the page, testing the pen in my hand. I closed my eyes, and images of Relena floated by. and then, the words just came. I snapped out of my trance, and scribbled them down quickly.
* I've loved you from the start, since I looked into your eyes, I felt it in my heart, I'm telling you no lies...* I hesitated, and the words stopped. *Should I really be writing poetry? if someone finds out I'm writing a poem, they'll never let me live it down...Especially not Duo.* I closed my eyes again, and the words started again. *I've loved you from the start, but sometimes love is blind, scared to follow my heart, I listen to my mind. I've loved you from the start...* The words just kept flowing, unstoppable. Finally, ten minutes later, I was finished. I opened the desk drawer, and pulled out an envelope. I carefully folded the piece of paper, and slid it into the envelope. I sealed it, and Wrote Relena Peacecraft on the front. I walked out of my room, and down the hall towards the stairs, pausing at Relena's old room. I don't go in there much, but I went in, and sat down on the bed. * I will get you back, Lee. I promise.*
I yawned and sat up slowly. I was still on the couch, where I was when I discovered it was my day off. I glanced around the small living room. It was done in shades of pink and white. There was a framed picture of all 5 of the Gundam pilots on the wall, and one of Codey. *Codey, you are too nice. Giving me rides, taking me out to lunch, Finding me a place to stay, and helping me move in...* I smiled at the memory of him insisting on moving the bookshelf himself, only to drop it on his foot. *You are the best friend I could wish for. Why you still ask me out when you know I love Heero, I have no idea...* The doorbell buzzed. * Who's that?? Codey's at college, and no one else knows where I live...* Curious, I got up, and opened the door a crack. No one was there. I stepped out into the hall of the apartment building, and slipped on a piece of paper. all it said was Relena Peacecraft on the front. Inspecting it, I walked back into the house and shut the door. I walked into the kitchen off the living room, and grabbed a soda out of the fridge. I went back into the living room, and sat down on the couch. I opened the mysterious envelope, and pulled out a slip of paper. it had a small scribble at the top, and the rest said;
I've loved you from the start,
since I looked into your eyes,
I felt it in my heart,
I'm telling you no lies,
I've loved you from the start,
but sometimes love is blind,
scared to follow my heart,
I listen to my mind,
that I've loved from the start,
way down deep inside,
somewhere in my heart,
where all these feelings hide,
I've loved you from the start,
and now I've realized,
it's time to let my heart,
be my only guide,
I've loved you from the start,
since I looked into your eyes,
I felt it in my heart,
I'm telling you no lies,
I've loved you from the start.
I read it to myself, then out loud. Then to myself again. *Who would send this to me??* I thought. then I saw the tiny signature at the bottom. Heero Yuy. Heero had left this for me. He had finally found me.
I carefully placed the envelope on the doorstep of Relena's apartment, and rang the bell. her door was right by the corner, so I went around the corner, until I heard her door open and shut. I glanced back at Relena's door, and the envelope was gone. I turned, and walked out of the apartment building. * Now it's only a matter of time. *
I caught the bus back home, and got there at about 3:30. *I have to write another poem. then deliver it tomorrow. but this time, I'll remember NOT to sign my name. or at least, not to send the original copy.* I went inside, and up to my room.
*Or maybe...I've got a better idea.* I went back downstairs.
"Hey Quatre, when does the last city bus leave?" He shrugged his shoulders.
"Trowa?"
"Eight."
"OK." I turned and walked towards the door.
"Say hi to Relena for Me."
* How does he know I found Relena? Oh well. I'll find out later.*
I folded the poem back up, and replaced it in the envelope. It would go in my nightstand drawer, with the teddy bear, and only picture of Heero and i. I glanced at the clock. 3:30. *I should get ready. Codey will be here soon.* Codey and I were going to have an early dinner, and then to a movie. I looked down at the dress I was still wearing, and sighed. into my room I went. I pulled a pilsver (purple/silver) shirt and a black skirt out of the closet. I pulled them on, and went into the bathroom, and pulled out my make-up. I brushed some blush on, and found my matching pilsver lipstick. the doorbell rang. *oy, he's early...* I quickly applied the lipstick, and ran to the door. I pulled it open, and saw not Codey on my doorstep, but Heero. *What the...* Then I noticed Codey turning the corner, flowers in hand. "Expecting someone?" Heero asked, leaning against the door frame.