Enjoy.
Disclaimer- I do not own The Outsiders, but the plot is mine.
Dedication-To my beta reader Golden. Rebels. Thanks girl, I couldn't do this without you!
"We cannot be sure of having something to live for, if we are not willing to die for it." Che Guavara
PREFACE.
The rain soaked through my dress coat.
I shivered, but I knew it wasn't from the cold.
Darry's arm found its way around my shoulders and his hand squeezed it real tight. I knew it was supposed to reassure me but at the same time, I think he was also trying to keep me close.
After all, we were all we had left now.
"Let us pray." The preacher said, bowing his head. I didn't though, I had nothing to say to God.
"Lord grant this family comfort." He began, and I watched the small group of people that was gathered around a grave stone. Thats all we had left of our brother - that, and some dog tags.
His body had never been found.
The people weren't crying, but they looked awful sad. I wondered vaguely how I looked to them, but than I found that I didn't care because I didn't know a single one of them. Some had came up to me at the beginning of the service, offering an "Oh I'm so sorry for your loss." I did my best to ignore them.
"Pony," I heard Darry whisper to me softly, gaining my full attention. "Lets go."
He didn't have to tell me twice.
Two-bit caught Darry's eye as we were leaving, and followed suit. We had no more business here. That grave stone wasn't Sodapop, nor was it going to bring him back.
Soda was dead, killed in Vietnam.
The car ride back home was silent, just like it had been every day since receiving that letter. Funny that a letter held such a heavy impact on our lives; but that was how the government sent bad news, apparently; through the mail.
Miss. Matthews had the kitchen packed with food that no one would eat. "Thank you ma'am," Darry had said, "it means so much to us."
She clicked her tongue and fought back tears, sending a lump to my own throat. "Not a problem at all." She whispered waving a hand in front of her face and pulling Darry into a hug. I heard him clear his throat and watched him hug her back. I walked away once I noticed his shoulders start to shake, seeing my oldest brother break down wasn't something I was too keen on watching.
He was a rock, and that rock was crumbling fast.
Two-bit was sitting on the couch next to his sister Martha, his hand was on the back of her head buy they both looked up when they saw me. "How ya doin', kid?" Two-bit asked gently. I shrugged, like had for the last two weeks, sinking down into Darry's arm chair. I felt tears start to rise but I fought them back bitterly. I wasn't going to cry. Crying mean't that I accepted the fact that my best friend, my brother was gone from me forever; it meant that he had broken the only promise that really mattered. That was not okay. Two-bit cleared his throat, waking me out of my thoughts. "Martha, why don't you go see if mom needs help cleaning up." He told his sister. The springs in the couch gave out a low moan as she stood up; Martha wasn't the skinniest girl in the world. He waited until she was out of the room before he turned back to me.
"You gotta talk to someone, Pony." He stated flatly. "This, what your doing is not healthy."
I looked at him, and sighed. "I'm not doing anything." I stretched my feet out in front of me and ran a hand threw my hair.
Two-bit was quiet for a minute, and I was glad. I wasn't really in the mood to deal with him at the moment, a serious Two-bit Matthews was never a real joy. Besides, I was too busy trying to figure out how to began life again. How to go about my day knowing that Sodapop wasn't going to be around. Ever. The very thought of it depressed me even more. I felt my chest tighten and my breath began coming out in little gasps.
I heard Darry start talking, and it didn't register that it was to me until he was standing in front of me, his arms crossed. I looked up at him, and his face went from mad to worried in a split second. "Pone." He said more than asked, and I noticed how red his eyes looked. His voice was still thick from crying and I tried to swallow the lump returning to my own throat.
"I'm okay, Dar." I snapped a little irritated. He didn't say anything else, just stood there staring at me, making me feel trapped. "Gonna go for a walk." I mumbled, standing up and pushing myself past Darry.
He made no motion to stop me.
The rain had stopped falling, but the sun was still nowhere to be seen. I didn't bother grabbing a jacket, so the wind hit me like angry waves. The neighborhood was eerily quiet, almost as if the whole town was in mourning. The atmosphere had a different feel to it, but not in a good way.
Nothing would ever be the same without Sodapop Curtis.
I wasn't sure where I was going until I ended up at the lake near the park. It wasn't pretty. The flowers that usually grew to the far right were dead from the cold, the water looked a little green, and there were no ducks or lovers spread out on a blanket.
Everything was dull, lifeless.
I heard someone coming up behind me, but I didn't bother turning around. I just kept my gaze on the lake. I surprised myself when I almost hoped it was someone looking for a fight. I was bitter and angry at everyone for just a second, and I wondered if that was how Dallas felt.
If it was, I understood why he did the things he did.
"Hey man." The fimilar voice said, and Curly Shepard stepped up next to me. I nodded my greeting. "Look, I'm sorry to hear about your brother," I smelt smoke as he said this, and my fingers itched for a cigarette, "real shame, he was a cool guy."
I turned to him and looked at him for a minute. I had been hearing the same line over and over for the past two weeks, and I was sick of it. Most people just said it to say it, because that was the polite thing to do. But I knew Curly meant it.
Because the Shepard boys don't beat around the bush.
"Thanks, man." I told him, as he patted me on my back, and I dug in my pockets for a cigarette.
"Anytime."