"Formula For A Boyband" by Misa-chan
Sephiroth and Rufus climbed up out of the sewer and walked toward Sepher's house. Sephiroth fished around in his pockets until he found his keys. He pulled them out and unlocked the door.
"Cute keychain, Sephers." Rufus sarcastically commented about the little Masamune on Sephy's keys.
Sephers smiled. "I know." He pricked Rufus with it. "It's real, too."
"Owie!" Rufus cried. "That hurt!"
"It was supposed to." Sephiroth said, opening the door.
The two men walked inside Sephiroth's house. Rufus looked down. "Hey, nice carpet."
"Yes, please take your shoes off." Sephiroth said, taking off his boots.
Rufus did the same, then stepped onto the plush black carpet. "Ooh, it's so soft. I never had anything like this in my office... mostly becuase of that freaky dog thing I had. It crapped everywhere it went."
Sephiroth nodded. "Well, have a seat on the couch and I'll be right back with the karaoke machine." He walked into his room and wheeled out the biggest karaoke machine Rufus had ever seen.
"WOW, it's huge!" Rufus said.
"Yep" Sephers stroked it lovingly. "I call it Florence. Florence Karaoke."
Rufus sweatdropped. "So, what songs do you have?"
Sephiroth smiled. "You name it, I've got it."
" 'Hold Me Now' by the Thompson Twins?" Rufus asked.
"Ooh yeah, I've got that one."
"Whee! Lemme at it!" Rufus dove for the microphone. Sephers turned it on and put 'Hold Me Now' on.
The music started. And Rufus sang his heart out. "I have a picture... Pinned to my wall... An image of you and of me and we're lauhing we're loving it all! Look at our life now... times have been torn... we fuss and we fight and delight in the tears and we cry until dawn... OOOOH HOLD ME NOW!..."
When the song was over, Sephiroth applauded. "Hey, that wasn't bad, Rufie. Get a load of this!" He snatched the mic from Rufus and put another song on. The music started. It was a happy jazzy tune.
"Flyyyyy me to the mooooon and let me plaaaay among the starrrs. Let me see what sprinnnng is like on Juuuupiter and Maaaars(whatever those are)...."
When Sephy was done, Rufus clapped. "Wow, you have a great voice. We should do something about this." "Well, I'm gonna be a rockstar, you can be in my group, how about it?" Sephers asked.
"That's a damn good idea." Rufus agreed.
"Can you play any instruments?" Sephers asked.
Rufus' face lit up. "I can play the drums!"
"YEAH!" Sephiroth stood up. "Let's hold open auditions for our band!"
Rufus stood up with him. "YEAH!"
Later that week in WallMarket... The Dress Shop-
"DAMN IT, I SAID 'WHITE', NOT 'PEARL', NOT 'CREAM', NOT 'OFF-WHITE'!!!!" Aeris shouted at the dress girl.
"I'm sorry, ma'am!" She apologized.
"DON'T BE SORRY, DON'T DO IT!!!" Aeris bellowed. The dress girl went off into the back room to find the 'white' fabric Aeris demanded. Cloud poked his head into Aeris' dressing room. Her face softened. "Hi Cloud."
"You've got to have patience with these people, getting angry is so unlike you, Aeris." Cloud said.
Aeris looked down. "I know, but I want everything to be perfect for our wedding."
"It will be."
"It's just that I remember when we came here for a dress for you. You got exactly what you wanted. Why can't they just cooperate with me?" Aeris said.
Cloud stepped into her dressing room. "It's okay. I promise it'll be just perfect for our wedding." He hugged her. "Now stop being so difficult and try to let that poor girl do her job."
"I'll try." Aeris said. She kissed him. "Now get out of here, this is a girls' dressing room!" She pushed him out.
Cloud stepped outside the dress shop when a bright pink flyer caught his eye. "What the hell is this?" He read it over. "Sephiroth and... RUFUS?!?"
In Rocket Town...
"SHEEEEEERAAAAAA! WHERE'S MY DAMN TEA, WOOMAAAAN?!?!" Cid shouted from the backyard.
"It's coming, dear, it's coming." Shera skittered to the backyard with a tray. "Here it is, honey." She sat on the grass and sipped some from her cup.
"It's about damn time." Cid took a sip and sat down on the grass with his new wife. "You know what, honey?"
"Hmm?" she replied.
"With this satellite I'm installing..."
"Yes?"
"I could watch the Dukes Of Hazard in SPANISH. Isn't that so *&^$@!# cool?" Cid beamed.
Shera sweatdropped. "Fascinating, darling. Just fascinating." She sipped her tea.
Cid got up. "Well, I'm almost done, then we can test her out." He took his wrench and finished assembling it, then the two of them went inside and sat on the couch. "Okay, now let's see if this works." Cid said, picking up the remote. He cliked the TV on.
"Hi, this is ex-megalomaniac Sephiroth"
"And ex-ShinRa Inc. President, Rufus ShinRa."
The camera switched angles and Sephiroth turned to face it. He put on his Million-Gil smile. "Do you want to be rich?"
"Famous?" Rufus asked.
Sephiroth put on a surprised face. "What's that? You DO? Weeeell, maybe we can help you there."
"See, we're looking for musicians for our new band Groovy and Sexy... or GAS for short." Rufus said.
An address popped up on the screen.
"Just send your audition tapes here and if you qualify, we'll let you in our cool band." Sephiroth said in a voice over.
The camera went back to the two men. Sephiroth and Rufus waved.
"Thanks for your time!" Rufus said.
Cid was rolling on the floor. "Oh my God! That was hilarious!!!"
Shera watched her husband laugh until tears were falling from his face.
"Oh damn that was something else. I gotta call the guys." Cid said, getting up and wiping a tear. He reached over for his phone.
The phone rang at the front desk of Barrett's Inn in Nibelheim...
"Wallace Inn, this is Marlene." A little girl answered the phone.
"Marlene? It's Uncle Cid. Are you running the inn today?"
"It's okay Unkie Cid. I used to run AntieTifa's bar back in Sector 7 while she was out on missions. This is nothing compared to having to put up with Mr. Reno's drunk shouting."
"...Oh. So where's your daddy?"
"Daddy's roughing up a customer that didn't pay last night."
In the background, Cid could hear Barrett.
"SUCKA YOU BEST PAY OR I'LL KICK YO' ASS SO HARD YO' MAMA GONNA FEEL IT!"
"I could get him if you want." Marlene said.
Cid sweatdropped. "That's okay, Marlene honey. I'll just call when things are less... rowdy."
"OK, Unkie Cid, Byeee!" Marlene said, then hung up the phone.
"Heh. Let's see... ah Yuffie." Cid dialed Yuffie's phone number. The phone rang about 12 times beofre a voice answered it.
"H...Hulloooo?" Yuffie answered.
"Get your ass up, girl. I've gotta tell you something." Cid said.
"...Mornin' Cid. >yaaawn< So, what's up?"
Cid told her about Sephiroth's TV ad and how he and Rufus were looking for bandmates. Yuffie was in hysterics. "Oh my GAWD, Vinny did you hear that?!?" She asked the man sleeping on the hardwood floor.
"Yes. I heard you." Vincent said, waking up.
"Well, I've got other people to call. Later Yuff." Cid said.
"Sayanora." Yuffie said as she hung the phone up. She looked over at Vincent, who was curled up on the floor. "Vinny, c'mon, get up. I have an idea for you." Yuffie chuckled.
Vincent sweatdropped. "Uh-oh... something tells me I am NOT going to like this...." He backed into a corner as Yuffie dove at him.
"It'll only hurt for a minute, Vinny!!!" Yuffie shouted.
"NOOOOOO! I DON'T WANT TO BE IN A BOYBAND!!!" Vincent shouted, running out of Yuffie's house.
Reno, Rude, and Reeve popped their heads out from around the corner of Yuffie's house.
"Did you guys hear that?" Reno asked.
"Uh-huh." Rude and Reeve replied. (whoa, tongue twister)
"Let's go see what this 'boyband' stuff is about." Reno said.
"HEY!" Reeve shouted. "Who made you the boss? I owned a damn comapny, remember?"
Reno looked up. "SHE made me the boss." He waved at Misa-chan.
Rude and Reeve looked up. "Huh?"
Reno looked back down at his two friends. "Well guys, let's go." He held Sephiroth's flyer in his hand.
"I still don't see why the alcoholic gets to be the leader... I'M the cool guy with the goatee." Reeve complained.
"So? I have sunglasses. What's your point?" Rude said. "Reno's just got something we don't."
"Yeah." Reno agreed. "It's called being a kick-ass dresser and having cool hair. Now let's get going."
The two Turks followed their newly appointed leader, sighing.
end part 1