Edward on Drugs
One random day at school
Bella thoughts: Edward is acting really weird today. He tripping over stuff, being caught off guard by teachers questions which is really weird since he can read minds and just find out what the answer is, and he keeps trying to turn people into vampires. It's so unlike him considering I almost had to get on my knees and beg for him to change me after he almost change his mind, but that's another story.
Walking into the cafeteria.
Edward: YO! YO! YO! Ya boy Eddizlies is in the house.
Bella: EDWARD! , I screamed, What the HELL? First of all you're know were close to a gangsta. What the HELL is the matter with you? You have been acting like this all day!
Edward: Yahhh! Bitch Yahhh! I iz to a G. Now get out my face! GET OUT MY FACE!
Bella's thoughts: OH HELL NO!! I know Edward didn't just call me a bitch. I may love him to death, but this is where I draw the line. So I slapped him. You could hear Ohhhhhs, Damns, and ooooo Cullen just got dissed from every direction. Then I walked away so he could make a fool of himself. If he chooses to be an idiot then I'm going to let him.
Edward: Bellsy-Wellsy come back!
Bella: NO!!
Edward: I'll start singing!
Bella: Go ahead! I don't care. Make a fool of yourself in front of the whole school!
Edward: FINE! Be that way I don't care. My first song will be MR.LONELY. Lonely, I'm so lonely I have nobody to call my own. OWN! ... My next song will be
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS... This next song I made up all by myself. It's called MY FAMILY'S SECRET!
Bella's thoughts: OH SHIT! That moron of a husband is going to tell the whole freaking school. I've to get him out of here ASAP.
Edward: My family has a secret is really really big. B-I-G! B-I-G! B-I-G! It's really really big. Do you want to know secret is? It's really really big.
Bella reaches Edward and he stops singing
Bella: Edward come with me right NOW!
Edward: NO! Now go your interrupting my song I was just getting to the good part.
Bella: I DON'T GIVE A DAMN! EDWARD, NOW LET'S GO!
Bella grabs Edward by his messy bronze hair.
Edward: Ow Bella STOP! I'm going to go bald.
Bella: Oh well! I'll let you go if you tell me what's wrong with you right now.
Edward: FINE!! Just let go.
Bella releases Edward's hair
Bella: Okay Edward spill NOW!
Edward: Well you see this morning I was with Emmett and Jasper and I'm high because they had crack and I was curious to try it.
Edward said that last part that the humans almost didn't understand what he said. You could hear gasps and the rumors starting everywhere. Bella gasped.
Bella: EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN! YOU'RE ON CRACK! YOU'RE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE! Just wait 'til I tell Carlisle and Esme you Emmett, jasper, and you are in so much trouble and you're in trouble with me. You can't make, play or
listen to music for a whole month. You will also be getting no hugs, kisses, or anything from me. You know what you can also sleep on the couch for two months. Do I make myself clear?
Edward: But Bella!
Bella: Don't "but Bella" do you want me to add more stuff to the list of things you can't do?
Edward: No.
Bella: Good then now Go to the car NOW!
Edward hangs his head in shame while the whole cafeteria burst out laughing. This was definitely going to be a lunch to remember.