A/N: I need to do this.
Hey Shawn,
I'm writing to you... Not to tell you that I still hate you, but to ask you, how you feel... How do you feel? How did we fall apart? Everything seemed so perfect... but I guess I was the only one who felt that way. Well, are you happy out there? Just wondering... but do you ever think about your son? Or miss your little girl? Do you ever even wonder if we're alright? Well, just letting you know... We are. Even though you left, we're doing fine without you... I've spent a lot of days, angry, bitter, and alone since you've left. I was so full of anger and sadness... At first, I didn't know how to cope, or how to even function without you... But I've learned to... The scars are still there though... the mental ones, and the emotional ones at all. If you saw me, you wouldn't even know me anymore... This body, has become thin and covered in tattoos... they're things I'll take to my grave with me... Just like the emotional pain you've put me through. It's been a long, hard road without you by my side... why weren't you there Shawn, why did you leave me? Why weren't you hear to hold me when I cried... you've broke my heart, and you've broke the children for life. How could you leave us... how could you do this to us? It's just not okay... but we've pulled through... I guess we're alright... Sometimes, I remember those days when you were a hero in my eyes... its funny how much things can change, because those days are just a long lost memory of mine... Your selfishness made me lose my idolization of you... did you ever think what you did to yourself would ruin everyone else? I guess not, because you did it anyways... I'm just writing you, to let you know I'm still alive... sometimes, I forget I am... I just become numb and the emptiness and realization that your gone just kills me so much that I don't even feel alive... Well, I guess its time to come clean... this time, I'll admit... that I miss you. I miss you so much Shawn. I love you... never forget that.
Love, Julia
{xxx}
The day was morose; It was pouring rain, and dark out... it was only two o'clock as well. But She continued to drive through the rain, trying to stay concentrated on driving, instead of the rain, and her destination. She kept talking deep breaths, and tried to forget everything except that she was driving. It was quiet in her car since her children refused to come along with her... It would have been easier on her if they came, but they didn't, which made it even harder for her.
Eventually, after continuous driving, she finally arrived at her destination. Finally, when she stopped the car, and put in park, she finally realized that it wasn't only raining, but it was also thundering... It brought her back into her memories... Her daughter used to be petrified of thunder... but Shawn would always tell her not to be afraid, because it was just the angles wrestling. After that, she was never afraid of thunder... until Shawn left. A long sigh escaped Julia's mouth. She grabbed the sides of her hood, then put it on over her head. She pulled her keys out of the ignition, and stuffed them into her pocket. Julia took a deep breath, grabbed the door handle, and got out of her... well his truck... that he left behind. She slammed the door behind her shut, then she walked away from the truck, and didn't look back. Her destination was especially sad today, since of the rain... bad feelings surrounded her. This just didn't seem realistic... it just felt like it should all just be a dream. Her thoughts and bad feelings continued to take over her mind, until finally, she found exactly what she was looking for.
She knelt down, and looked at the sight in front of her... this was the only thing that made it real... she signed once again, then ran her hand over the cold cement.
'Michael Shawn Hickenbottom
July 22nd, 1965 - March 28th 2011'
It was similar to the tattoo that she had on her hip bone... But yet so different... this actually made it so much more real. The tattoo was much more of a reminder rather than the actual thing that made it real. The grave stone made it true.
Tears began to fall from her blue eyes, making her sniffle, and wipe them away, "Hey Shawn," She spoke, then wiped away the debris that surrounded the grave stone. Then she put her hand into her pocket, and shakily grabbed the letter that was inside of it. She opened it up, and took a deep breath, "I know you can't read this, so I'll read it you..." She spoke every word that she wrote on that paper. That paper was basically holding all of her thoughts and emotions of him leaving her. Finally, after much struggle, she finished the letter. She bent forward and brought her lips to the grave stone, and gave it a light kiss. "I love you Shawn," She told the headstone, the patted it. The tears began to pour down her face which matched the rain that was all around her. "I just miss and love you so much, how could you ever leave me?" She began yelling through her tears.
Once she got a hold of her self, she took a deep breath, "I guess now you're one of those angels wrestling in heaven... bringing the thunder..." She laughed a little.
Finally, she stood back up, and turned away from the grave stone, and walked away. It was finally over... all of those emotion she bared with her, were now all with him... He knew. And little did she know, an angel was looking down on her from heaven.