Jingle Bells (My Precious)
AN: I wrote this about... four years ago. Or was it five? I read Lord of the Rings five years ago (so I don't own it), the back story was then... must have been five! I was quite a brilliant seventh grader, really. First off, you need to know where this parody came from so READ THIS SECTION please.
That summer before seventh grade, my sister was reading me Lord of the Rings (she's weird, what was I supposed to do anyway? She would have forced me to let her do it), and at the same time, one of my friends, who had all ready read it and loved it (we'll just call her Legolas since that was her favorite), was getting ready to move and we were hanging out and stuff. Eariler she had copied our family's tape versions of the animated movies (I have them all on DVD now, though) and we were making this insane tape and we wanted to sing the "Where There's a Whip" song on it. It's this one in the Return of the King animated version. Man, it's such a bad movie! The Hobbit is the only worthwhile one in the animated versions, by the way.
Anyway, getting back on track (sorry I rant so much), we had to fast forward through that version of The Hobbit to get to it, and as it was fast forwarding, I decided to make things more interesting by talking for the characters. If only the live movies had been out by then, I can do that Gollum perfectly. I say that because it had gotten to the Riddles in the Dark scene and I was doing pretty well and there's this one point where these unseen people sing one of the riddles, so I kept having Gollum say "I'm going to sing a pretty song!" and when it finally got there, all I could get out in the fast forward was "Jingle bells, my precious, jingle all the way!"
Following that, Gollum asked Bilbo what he thought of the song (there's references to this in my parody, that's why I'm telling you). Bilbo was like "Well, it's okay..." and Gollum preceeded to freak out because, "You don't like my song?!" Legolas thought this was completely hilarious so I kept it up throughtout the rest of the scene and after Bilbo escaped, Gollum was upset not because of the loss of his precious, but because "he didn't like my song!" So, I made it a full song about the life of everyone's favorite tortured hobbit. The start of verse 4 is a little out of sync story wise cause I misunderstood it when I first wrote this and it was incredibly hard to fix it, so bear with me. Hope you enjoy it! And I hope you liked the back story as much as I do! Oh, I don't own Jingle Bells either. Does someone have the rights to that like the Happy Birhtday song (which is why you never hear it on TV)?
Verse 1:
Dashing through the fields with a gold ring in my hand
I just strangled my friend and hid him in the land
Today is my birthday, it's unquestionable
And I find if I wear the ring I am invisible!
Chorus 1:
Oh jingle bells, my precious, jingle all the way!
Oh what fun it is to hide under the Misty Mountains, hey!
Jingle bells, my precious, jingle all the way!
Oh what fun it is to hide under the Misty Mountains!
Verse 2:
I've had it for a while, I call it "my precious"
I don't call myself "me", instead, I call me "us"
A hobbits in my cave, so I began to sing
He didn't like my song and then I learned he took my ring!
Chorus 2:
Oh jingle bells, my precious, jingle all the way!
Oh what fun it is to chase a theif in the Misty Mountains, hey!
Jingle bell, my precious, jingle all the way!
Oh what fun it is to chase a theif in the Misty Mountains!
Verse 3:
I went down to Mordor where Sauron captured me
He questioned and tortured me until he set me free
Then Aragorn found me, to the Wood Elves I was took
Then orcs helped me escape and so I ran back in the book!
Chorus 3:
Oh jingle bells, my precious, jingle all the way!
Oh what fun it is to run out of Mirkwood Forest, hey!
Jingle bells, my precious, jingle all the way!
Oh what fun it is to run out of Mirkwood Forest!
Verse 4:
Then* Gandalf he found me and then he made us tell
The secrets of our past, which I had hid so well
And then he let me go, a stupid thing to do
Because I want my precious back from Bilbo or Frodo
Chorus 4:
Oh jingle bells, my precious, jingle all the way!
I never said I would rhyme every verse, so please don't change pronunciaton, hey!
Jingle bells, my precious, jingle all the way!
I never said I would rhyme every verse, so please don't change pronunciation!
Verse 5:
That Fellowship of the Ring, they make me feel all blah
I guess I'll follow them, I start in Moria
They then met nasssty elves inside Lothlorien
Those elves chased me around in there, it really was not fun!
Chorus 5:
Oh jingle bells, my precious, jingle all the way!
Oh it burns and bites and freezes to get tied by elven rope, hey!
Jingle bells, my precious, jingle all the way!
Oh it burns and bites and freezes to get tied by elven rope!
Verse 6:
The Fellowship split up! I will follow Frodo.
Will his nasssty servant stop me? That answer I don't know
I must act very nice, though I want the ring back
I'll lead them into Shelob's lair outside the land of black!
Chorus 6:
Oh jingle bells, my precious, jingle all the way!
I'll go after Sam Gamgee while Shelob gets Frodo, hey!
Jingle bells, my precious, jingle all the way!
I'll go after Sam Gamgee while Shelob gets Frodo!
Verse 7:
The hobbits got away! I followed them to Mount Doom
The ring made Frodo mad inside the crack's room
I bit off his finger and the ring because he attacked us**
And then I stepped a little too far, my last word was "precious"
Chorus 7:
Oh jingle bells, my precious, jingle all the way!
Oh what fun it is to pass away with my precious, hey!
Jingle bells, my precious, jingle all the way!
Oh what fun it is to pass away with my precious!
Verse 8:
My story, it is done. My part, it has been played
Though my very sudden death just could have been delayed
But I am still a live, a character I am
In fact, I'm in earlier chapters, even without Frodo and Sam!
Chorus 8:
Oh jingle bells, my precious, jingle all the way!
Oh what fun it is to be sort of an immortal, hey!
Jingle bells, my precious, jingle all the way!
Oh what fun it is to be sort of an immortal, hey!!!
*- This is where I goofed. The way I have it is the original, but to make it correct, "then" can be replaced with "back there". I misunderstood Gandalf when he was talking about his meeting with Gollum at first. Oh well, I'm an idiot!
**- This was intended to be worded as thus because even though it's not exactly true, Gollum would have probably tried to defend himself in this case. Well, that's what I thought when I wrote it, at least!
AN: That's it! What'd ya think? Really? I don't do much for Lord of the Rings since it's all ready written and everything and I can't think of what else could be done with it, but it is by far my favorite story of all time. Also The Hobbit, which is NOT the prelude to Lord of the Rings, the triolgy is the sequel! I hate my OCD! I actually was doing a LOTR/ Dragonball Z thing mostly to make fun of the latter, but it's in reparation state, so if you want more Tolkien stuff from me, you'll probably have to keep your eyes open for that. Or, if you have an idea for a Tolkien fanfic that you think I should write (though since this is my first and it's a song you don't know much about my style) tell me cause I think it'd be fun to do one! Oh well, more stories to write, so little time! Namarie!
AN: I wrote this about... four years ago. Or was it five? I read Lord of the Rings five years ago (so I don't own it), the back story was then... must have been five! I was quite a brilliant seventh grader, really. First off, you need to know where this parody came from so READ THIS SECTION please.
That summer before seventh grade, my sister was reading me Lord of the Rings (she's weird, what was I supposed to do anyway? She would have forced me to let her do it), and at the same time, one of my friends, who had all ready read it and loved it (we'll just call her Legolas since that was her favorite), was getting ready to move and we were hanging out and stuff. Eariler she had copied our family's tape versions of the animated movies (I have them all on DVD now, though) and we were making this insane tape and we wanted to sing the "Where There's a Whip" song on it. It's this one in the Return of the King animated version. Man, it's such a bad movie! The Hobbit is the only worthwhile one in the animated versions, by the way.
Anyway, getting back on track (sorry I rant so much), we had to fast forward through that version of The Hobbit to get to it, and as it was fast forwarding, I decided to make things more interesting by talking for the characters. If only the live movies had been out by then, I can do that Gollum perfectly. I say that because it had gotten to the Riddles in the Dark scene and I was doing pretty well and there's this one point where these unseen people sing one of the riddles, so I kept having Gollum say "I'm going to sing a pretty song!" and when it finally got there, all I could get out in the fast forward was "Jingle bells, my precious, jingle all the way!"
Following that, Gollum asked Bilbo what he thought of the song (there's references to this in my parody, that's why I'm telling you). Bilbo was like "Well, it's okay..." and Gollum preceeded to freak out because, "You don't like my song?!" Legolas thought this was completely hilarious so I kept it up throughtout the rest of the scene and after Bilbo escaped, Gollum was upset not because of the loss of his precious, but because "he didn't like my song!" So, I made it a full song about the life of everyone's favorite tortured hobbit. The start of verse 4 is a little out of sync story wise cause I misunderstood it when I first wrote this and it was incredibly hard to fix it, so bear with me. Hope you enjoy it! And I hope you liked the back story as much as I do! Oh, I don't own Jingle Bells either. Does someone have the rights to that like the Happy Birhtday song (which is why you never hear it on TV)?
Verse 1:
Dashing through the fields with a gold ring in my hand
I just strangled my friend and hid him in the land
Today is my birthday, it's unquestionable
And I find if I wear the ring I am invisible!
Chorus 1:
Oh jingle bells, my precious, jingle all the way!
Oh what fun it is to hide under the Misty Mountains, hey!
Jingle bells, my precious, jingle all the way!
Oh what fun it is to hide under the Misty Mountains!
Verse 2:
I've had it for a while, I call it "my precious"
I don't call myself "me", instead, I call me "us"
A hobbits in my cave, so I began to sing
He didn't like my song and then I learned he took my ring!
Chorus 2:
Oh jingle bells, my precious, jingle all the way!
Oh what fun it is to chase a theif in the Misty Mountains, hey!
Jingle bell, my precious, jingle all the way!
Oh what fun it is to chase a theif in the Misty Mountains!
Verse 3:
I went down to Mordor where Sauron captured me
He questioned and tortured me until he set me free
Then Aragorn found me, to the Wood Elves I was took
Then orcs helped me escape and so I ran back in the book!
Chorus 3:
Oh jingle bells, my precious, jingle all the way!
Oh what fun it is to run out of Mirkwood Forest, hey!
Jingle bells, my precious, jingle all the way!
Oh what fun it is to run out of Mirkwood Forest!
Verse 4:
Then* Gandalf he found me and then he made us tell
The secrets of our past, which I had hid so well
And then he let me go, a stupid thing to do
Because I want my precious back from Bilbo or Frodo
Chorus 4:
Oh jingle bells, my precious, jingle all the way!
I never said I would rhyme every verse, so please don't change pronunciaton, hey!
Jingle bells, my precious, jingle all the way!
I never said I would rhyme every verse, so please don't change pronunciation!
Verse 5:
That Fellowship of the Ring, they make me feel all blah
I guess I'll follow them, I start in Moria
They then met nasssty elves inside Lothlorien
Those elves chased me around in there, it really was not fun!
Chorus 5:
Oh jingle bells, my precious, jingle all the way!
Oh it burns and bites and freezes to get tied by elven rope, hey!
Jingle bells, my precious, jingle all the way!
Oh it burns and bites and freezes to get tied by elven rope!
Verse 6:
The Fellowship split up! I will follow Frodo.
Will his nasssty servant stop me? That answer I don't know
I must act very nice, though I want the ring back
I'll lead them into Shelob's lair outside the land of black!
Chorus 6:
Oh jingle bells, my precious, jingle all the way!
I'll go after Sam Gamgee while Shelob gets Frodo, hey!
Jingle bells, my precious, jingle all the way!
I'll go after Sam Gamgee while Shelob gets Frodo!
Verse 7:
The hobbits got away! I followed them to Mount Doom
The ring made Frodo mad inside the crack's room
I bit off his finger and the ring because he attacked us**
And then I stepped a little too far, my last word was "precious"
Chorus 7:
Oh jingle bells, my precious, jingle all the way!
Oh what fun it is to pass away with my precious, hey!
Jingle bells, my precious, jingle all the way!
Oh what fun it is to pass away with my precious!
Verse 8:
My story, it is done. My part, it has been played
Though my very sudden death just could have been delayed
But I am still a live, a character I am
In fact, I'm in earlier chapters, even without Frodo and Sam!
Chorus 8:
Oh jingle bells, my precious, jingle all the way!
Oh what fun it is to be sort of an immortal, hey!
Jingle bells, my precious, jingle all the way!
Oh what fun it is to be sort of an immortal, hey!!!
*- This is where I goofed. The way I have it is the original, but to make it correct, "then" can be replaced with "back there". I misunderstood Gandalf when he was talking about his meeting with Gollum at first. Oh well, I'm an idiot!
**- This was intended to be worded as thus because even though it's not exactly true, Gollum would have probably tried to defend himself in this case. Well, that's what I thought when I wrote it, at least!
AN: That's it! What'd ya think? Really? I don't do much for Lord of the Rings since it's all ready written and everything and I can't think of what else could be done with it, but it is by far my favorite story of all time. Also The Hobbit, which is NOT the prelude to Lord of the Rings, the triolgy is the sequel! I hate my OCD! I actually was doing a LOTR/ Dragonball Z thing mostly to make fun of the latter, but it's in reparation state, so if you want more Tolkien stuff from me, you'll probably have to keep your eyes open for that. Or, if you have an idea for a Tolkien fanfic that you think I should write (though since this is my first and it's a song you don't know much about my style) tell me cause I think it'd be fun to do one! Oh well, more stories to write, so little time! Namarie!