SporadicWriting is back bitches. Hiatus is over.
Characters: Shang, eggs, Mushu, self control, Hermione, God, god, Dracao, happiness, Sangwoo, Yoonbum, Lush, emotions, Umbridge, Foruto, Mariah Carey, Edward Cullen/Cedric
Premise: All 6 couples are forced into an arena by Foruto (Boruto's brother) and have to fight to the death. Edward Cullen facilitates.
"Foruto! I'll get you for this!" Sangwoo exclaimed, treating the young lad like an old enemy/friend.
"Y-yeah!" Yoonbum joined in. He was wearing his chains and, when he looked down on them, he was reminded of his tragic backstory.
Suddenly! Umbridge came back with a vengeance. She sidled side by side with Foruto. "I see our plan has worked."
"I commend you, strawberry," Foruto replied (A/N: Umbridge is Czech for strawberry), using his pet name for her. Umbridge blushed and gave Foruto a quick peck on the cheek.
Lush sat in the corner, not giving a fuck. If anyone came close he would just shank them.
"I see you haven't been getting along with emotions lately," said eggs.
"All I want for Christmas, is youuu!" At the sound of Mariah Carey, the bell blown by Edward Cullen/Cedric sounded and the battle began.
As the battle took place, Edward Cullen struggle to keep track of his too many children.
God screamed. "Save me! I don't want to fight!"
"Who said that?" The Magic School Bus (TMSB), the ever atheist asked. She was in the bleachers cheering Dracao, Hermione, Lush, and Shang on. (Mushu could go fuck herself)
At the first opportunity, Sangwoo grabbed Yoonbum by the chains and chucked him towards emotions. "I ALWAYS HATED YOU!" Lush related to this lowkey. He too hated emotions other than salt.
Hermione, now in her Brad persona, yelled, "BRUH! PROTECT YO GIRLFRIEND."
"No way I'm taking orders from a filthy halfbreed," Lush/Adolfa sneered. "Emotions isn't even part elf."
Mariah Carey heard "elf" and was triggered. "DID SOMEONE SAY ELF? IIIII DON'T WANT A LOT FOR CHRISTMAS
THERE IS JUST ONE THING I NEED
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you, yeah.
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
And I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I don't need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa Claus won't make me happy
With a toy on Christmas DayForuto nodded.
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you
INSTRUMENTAL DANCE BREAK
You, baby
Oh, I won't ask for much this Christmas
I won't even wish for snow
And I'm just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe
I won't make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
I won't even stay awake to
Hear those magic reindeer click
'Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding on to me s t
What more can I do?
Baby, all I want for Christmas is you
You, baby Foruto nodded.
Oh, all the lights are shining so brightly everywhere
And the sound of children's laughter fills the air
And everyone is singing
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa, won't you bring me the one I really need?
Won't you please bring my baby to me?
Oh, I don't want a lot for Christmas
This is all I'm asking for
I just Foruto nodded.wanna see my baby
Standing right outside my door
Oh, I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby, all I want for Christmas is you
YYo̦̟u̫͉̱,̬͈̜̲͕̩ ͔b̬̳̱a̖̟̫̯͖̩̱b̜̞y͎
Ẩ͖̫͒̋ͮ̒̋l̟̯͉̩̖̫̄̅̽ͭͅl̙̠͎̭͚̮̞̀ͦ̍ͅ ̺̳̮̦͖̌̓ͅI̟͇͉ͪ̈́̔̏͒ ̖̙̬̞͒ͩw͔͚͎̠̬̥͙͕ͪͩ̽ͣ̒ͦ͆̅a͕̻̬̪̜͚ͤ̊n̟̪̯̝̯̲ͦ́̆̎ͬ̓͂̄t̬̖̳̔͌ͣ ͇̭̬͎̇͋͛̔ͅf̠̼͚ͪͫ͂o͈͇̞̺̖̻ͫ̊̃ͦr̙̮̜̐̃̎͑̽ͯ ͇̗̭̼̞͍̼͒ͦ̈́ͦͥͭ̑̅C͍̹͕̺̬̑̑̅ͪͯ̍ḥ̜͍̪̠͔̣̊̋̋r͉͂̔́ͭi̳̣̩̝͓̠̼͌ͪ̊̇̀s͉͖̱̄ͯͥ͊̍͒ͮť͎̬̗͍̗̺͌̍̿̉̾̒ͅm͍̼͍͔̤̼̮ͮa̦͎̣͓͗̑̓̏́͒̑s̗͙ͤ̾̚ ̙̦̬̯̩̑ͣ̿̉̅ͅḭ̘̼̲͈̲͖̔̌̚s͖̰͙̠̔̉ͬ̓͛̽͗̀ ͖̺̪̣̰̩̪ͯ͂ͣͩ̑y̟̬̾ͤ̚o̰̹̻͕͍̫͌̓ͫͭ͊ǘ̖̪͇̘̆͂ͬͧͧ,̪̬͉͖̰̜̻͇͑͑ͬ̐ͮ͋ ͙ͧ̑̆͊͂ͪ͌̐ḇ̞̲̇͋̉ȃ͇̠ͪ̅ͭ͐b͕͖̮̝̤͇̎̍ÿ̼̩̜̘̲̌ͩͅ ̩̻ͨ͂͆ͪ̒̏ͪ[̗̖̂͐̍͂̌̆͒ŕ̯̦̖̻ͤe̤͉̖̣͇͇ͩ̆̉̈́ͯ̑̑̊p̮͕̙͖̭͕̤̋̈é̲̪͙̣̻̮͙̥͎͛̃͒ͭå̳͍͚̱̤̩̞̪ͪ̾͂̈t̩̲͚̫̙͑͒̏ ͍̻̝ͩ͛̾ͮ̔w̜͙̦͍̲ͯ̎ͦͨ͋̓̄́̉i̤̝̤͉͕̖̜͓ͫ̉͌̍͊ͨt̘ͩͩ̚h͓̹̣̳͈̣͓̍̓̿̊̾̄̊ͅ ̰̹̫̰̜̹͂ȁ̝̮̣̰̮̏̉ͫd̮̭̝̤͎̝̓͊ͦ͌͒ͥ-̻͚̝̰̻̹͆̌ͮ̿̄ͬ̚ͅͅl̰̰̩̻̳ͪͧ͒i̩̼͖̜̯͙͍͎̅͒̉b͇͉̟̃̃s͕̰̣͕͍͖̱̯̍͐ͧͬͨ͛̉ ̦̙̟͇̱̮͔̹͆ͪ͐͂̂̅̿ͮ́ṷ͚̔̆ͮ́̏ͅn͎̯̺̻̼̺̪͚̔̎ͭͬt̞̜̠̬̘̯ͧ̓ͮi͍̟̒ͭ́̓͂̿ͬl̻͔̺͖̝͋ͬ̚ ̘͍̲̘̙̚f͚̪̟̬̪̼̦̔ͩͤ͑̾ͬ̋̿̉a̬̅͛͗̀̃̎̉ḓ̰͓̝͍̜̭̃̏̄̆ͨ̔̎e̮̘̝̻̻̯̰ͪ̆ͬ́͛̇ͯͪ]̟̻̗̱̱̭̩̻̹̍̃̅̅͐̓"
Hermione was distracted from her burning rage for a sec and began to jam out. Only for a minute tho cuz the fire of battle was in her heart. Foruto nodded.
Mariah smiled. "We're all children of Jesus~! uwu" Foruto nodded.
The magic School bus, reborn from the ashes of TMSB, yelled from the crowd, "I'M NOT A CHILD OF JESUS; HE DIED A VIRGIN!:[" Foruto nodded.
In the chaos, Shang had managed to hide herself amid the shrooms. She didn't enjoy fighting, but if she got high enough then she would reign terrore among the others. Foruto nodded.
Lush was in the back, angry at St. Johen's even though he got a free full scholarship and he was fighting everyone to the death. He did nothing. He wanted to die. Foruto nodded.
Just as a Shang, doped up on Molly, was about to stab Lush, emotions tackled him out of the way. Shang let out a thunderous " " Foruto nodded.
Mushu, with self control shoved to the side, charged at Shang. "LE B!" *kabedon*
Except Shang
Flips over
And commits a gErnab suplex.
Suddenly, Umbridge tRIPPED and fell into the arena. Everyone stared at her in horror and wonder. Foruto nodded.
"She's part of the free for all now too!" Mariah Carey smiled. Foruto nodded.
"NANI the fuck" said Umbridge
"OMAE WA MOU...SHINDEIROU おまえ わ もう しんでいる!" Foruto nodded.
상우 Sangwoo sanke to his nees. He was so ready to fight. But also fuxk. 윤펨 Yoonbum was still recovering from being thrown at emotions. He couldn't George Frideric handel it, you could say.
Suddenly, Castiel and Dean came down from their parachuting. "Wow, Dean! You were JUST RIGHT! Skydiving is fun! XD" He smorched Deadn onthe cheek.
"Now we just gotta focus on getting home!" Dean assured him. THen they looked at the arena they were in. "Uh-oh, looks like we'll have to fight our way out of this again."
Castiel looked out fearfully. "Nani? B-But I'm no angel anymore! I'm human!"
"Don't worry!" Dean exclaimed. "If we die we'll just come back next season!" While Dean winked at the camera, Castiel looked at it like he was in the office.
Dracao looked around, suddenly panicking. "Where is happiness?"
Everyone stared at her. Happiness was a figment of her imagination. She was disassociating again. :'(
Mushu patted Dracao on the shoulder. "No, happiness was real. He just died first in this battle."
"Isn't happiness technically a part of emotions. So they merged."
"Lol thats gay" said Herminny (BRAD)
The bell sounded to alert the death of happiness. Mariah began to sing. "Touch my body
Put me on the floor
Wrestle me around
Play with me some more
Touch my body
Throw me on the bed
I just wanna make you feel
Like you never did.
Touch my body
Let me wrap my thighs
All around your waist
Just a little taste
Touch my body
Know you love my curves
Come on and give me what I deserve
And touch my body. Listen more watch?v=9b8erWuBA44!" She said all of this verbally. Even the link. Especially the link.
상우 Sangwoo appreciated this song. So did Herrmene but in a non sexually harassing way. Mushu nutted to Mariah Carey. Lush would have too if it was 트와이스Twice who sang it. 아니요 Typing in Korean is my job :(
"좋아, 얘들 아! 벌써 살인 당해! 못쓰게 만들다!" said Mariah Carey. "Alright guys! Get to killing already! FUCK!" Sangwoo nodded. She reminded him of his mother :c.
"YOU JUST GOOGLED THAT HOW DARE," said Juice from the heavens. She wasn't dumb enough to fall into the arena.
"빌어 먹을 젠장, 나는 그랬어!" replied Dr. MARIAH Carey. "Damn shit I did, fam!"
Do you kno 물? 아니요
While this was going on, Hermionengitis prayed to her manz, God, to give her strength to murder everyone. Not that she didn't have the strength, but she liked to be sure. DUmbles came out of his God costume and gave her just that. They both dabbed and she felt the power of the LIte OF THE SKY AND THE JEW OF THE ARTH flow through her. Shang whipped along because she was feelin emotional. Also because the drugs were wearing off.
On the floor lied self control, thrown to the curb by Mushu. He got up and dusted himself off. He looked toward Foruto and they noded together. They understand. Umbridge did not.
"F-Foruto? Que?" Umbridge asked in a high pitched anime girl voice. "Am I not your only partner in crime?"
Foruto smirked evilly. "No, bitch. You see, this was al E. THey aren't the only ones dying." He pushed her off the edge. "So are you!"
While Umbridge fell in slo mo, all Mufasa death scene style, BEE-ONCE came out of the bushes as NALA, READY TO FUCK SHIT UP. more like simba
After a while, Mushu gave up trying to kill people (did she even try? ﾟﾏﾼ ️? ﾟﾏﾼ ?￢ﾙﾂ️). Instead she looked for wifi so she could watch ? ﾟﾏﾾle bon docteur?. Mushu came in her pants. Immediately. Everyone else was digusted #Agust D
Eggs was trying to look for more drugs for ? ﾟﾎﾅ? ﾟﾎﾄShang? ﾟﾏ , to make her unleash her true powerTM?. He ? ﾟﾑﾨ?protec but he also attac
Sangwoo was #? ﾟﾘﾧ? ﾟﾒﾓ with everything going on. He just wanted to murder and jack off? ﾟﾍﾆ? ﾟﾒﾦ?. But things were getting complicate?d and he could only feel(?) ONE EMOTION ? ﾟﾤﾔat a time.
"Can we get back to the normal size font," said god
"Hey fellas is it ? ﾟﾤﾔ? to ? ﾟﾤﾔ? a ? ﾟﾤﾔ? in front of all the ? ﾟﾤﾔ? ﾟﾤﾔ?" asked DUmbles!God.
"No'
Said god.
"Listen," said the TMSB, "Nicolas Tesla fell in love with a pigeone, so anything is possible. Which means, he was the beta tester for Hatoful Boyfriend!11!1"
Hermunculus simply accepted her manz was two manz now.
"Hey fellas is it gay to have a threesome with urself and ur gorlfren? ﾟﾤﾔ?￢ﾀﾝ asked Jesus, who was also g-God.
So they did the opposite of emotions and happiness. They unmerged. (then is that antigay? idek)
Lol dats str8t said Hermione. Sangwoo and Yoonbum agreed. They were gay(?), so they new. They were both Bi, but it was still gay because anal.? ﾟﾍﾑ :|
Happiness: I can count :( (dats a lie Happiness failed algebra)
Lush and Dracao looked on in horror at the amalgamate that was once their loved 1s (or at least Lush felt lukewarm to emotions). Happiness was now emo. Then that isn't happiness anymore?
"Basically, Happiness, or should I say, H A Pe s!111! Is pastel goth," said Christ.
"Emotions? You gonna play me like that?" asked Lush. He had his shiv ready. Happiness was shook.
"Damn, good thing you don't cheat on me," said Mushu to self control. However, by the time she looked back at him for once, he was above the arena and by Foruto's side. Their plan had worked.
"N-nah-knee?!" Mushu said, ? ﾟﾘﾮ??.
Edward Cullen appeared in a puff of smoke Edward Cullen was introduced by a puff of smoke. (Thereafter, the man fell onto his knees in pain of the S UD DEN D E AA T H.) He was followed by Snaep shortly after.
Puff of smoke: "hello everyone this is mr DumblEs"
god: why are inanimate objects alive too
TMSB: did someone say something? I heard some buzzing.
TMSB, Dracaa, and Luush simultaneously started crying (Lushy couldnt cri, but he felt something he a s s umed was sadness). Their circadian rhythm alerted them that it was taime foeur FoooN. They got triggerered immemensely. It was stress season. Draco snezd from memories of college apps. Turns out she was allergic.
A gong rang through the arena: 5 more minutes to kill at least one more fucker if not everyone would face SUDDEN D EATH.
Determined not to die, Hermpes (a/n Hermione) spun around and decked Mushu in the face. It was particularly easy because she was still fapping to the autistic doctor in The Good DoctorTM. "THATS ABLIST" said msuh [critical hit]
[revive Mushh with a phoenix down?] No, somebody gotta do that for you-magicschoolbusque (like clinique, the brand)
Then Mushu rolled a d1 saving throw.
[god accidentally pressed no]
god: oh shit sorry
"Brad rolled a 1d20, nice," said TMSB.
THe resident Nazo, Adolfa Luscious "Lushy" MalfoiiTM (Lush in a wig, Wangsoe was kind of turned on), rolled her dice but rolled a 2 with a -1 modifier. He took matters into his own hands and whipped out shis rice shooter. She shot up the arena. Emotions died. But wasn't it alreADY dead. Happiness died twice for good measure. But dw he smiled before he died :(((( NO LIKE :)
Edward Cullen was pleased with the death. He wrangled his 50 kids to leave the arena. It wasnt the best battle royyale but it was decent.
Hermione shed a single tear (just one). She didn't even get to behead one person. Sangwoo replied "big m00d" to show his support. Hermione felt a bit disgusted.
Shang, still high as a kite, was still trying to maim bitches. Eggs had to hold her back. But her streggeth was too much to George Frideric handel and eggs became baroquen, scrambled eggs. Sudden sobered by her murdering the Love of Her LifeTM, she let out one final " H" before crumbling to the ground. That last drug trip had taken all the energy out of her body.
She became so numb
Lush was just disappointed that he didnt die.
To close off the event, Mary Carey began to sing one final song. A cover.
The fires of hell rise from behind her. Death covers all. The pop music plays.
Hump me, fuck me
Daddy better make me choke (you better)
Hump me, fuck me
My tunnel loves to deep throat (it do)
Lick, lick, lick, lick (I lick it)
I want to eat yo' dick (I do)
But I can't fuck up my nails (I can't)
So I'mma pick it up with chopsticks
[Bridge]
Mouth wide open, mouth wide open
Mouth wide open like I was at the dentist
Mouth wide open, mouth wide open
Put it so deep, I can't speak a sentence
Mouth wide open, mouth wide open
Mouth wide open like I was at the dentist
Mouth wide open, mouth wide open
Put it so deep I can't speak a sentence
[Verse 1]
My fingers in it, gentle
Explore this nigga mental
I'mma write my name on his dick
Don't need a pen or a pencil
All I need is my body
My pussy pink just like salami
Don't need no drink to get naughty
Cause bitch I'm not Bill Cosby
My pussy mean, and it's clean
I'm not a squirter, I cream
Keep it smelling like baby wipes
I never smell like sardines
This will never fucking end
Ballerina that dick when I spin
I fucked this nigga so good
I ain't swallow one kid, I think I swallowed twins
[Hook]
Hump me, fuck me
Daddy better make me choke (you better)
Hump me, fuck me
My tunnel loves to deep throat (it do)
Lick, lick, lick, lick (I lick it)
I want to eat yo' dick (I do)
But I can't fuck up my nails (I can't)
So I'mma pick it up with chopsticks
[Bridge]
Mouth wide open, mouth wide open
Mouth wide open like I was at the dentist
Mouth wide open, mouth wide open
Put it so deep, I can't speak a sentence
Mouth wide open, mouth wide open
Mouth wide open like I was at the dentist
Mouth wide open, mouth wide open
Put it so deep I can't speak a sentence
[Verse 2]
Just come put it down my butt
Let's shoot a movie, no cuts
Ride the dick, get my nipples licked
That's breastfeeding while we fuck
Finna get the dick wet and firm
You better sweat me out of my perm
Can't wait till it's my turn
I wanna blow bubbles with sperm
Wanna hit it from the back
Let me arch my back
Once I arch my back
That mean attack this pussy
Don't need a pornstar
Cause I'm the moderin'
All my spit on his dick
Sound like I'm gargling
Make him bust three nuts, is the task
My panties stuck in my ass
So I pulled them down to show him the pearl
Made his pubic hairs curl fast
[Outro]
Fuck this pussy
Fuck this pussy
Fuck this pussy
Come fuck this pussy
Fuck this pussy
Fuck this pussy
Fuck this pussy
Come fuck this pussy
Dracoa was disgusted. Mushu nutted again.
Of Congratulations by Day6
"THERE ARE TIMES WHERE I WONDER WHY I KILLED YOU
CAUSE THE PEOPLE I WAS WITH DIDN'T DESERVE IT
Though times were getting hard, they stood by me
I guess that's over now, all I have are dead bodies
"Let's take bodies apart"
Those goals you said to me
Were so good
But you tore my heart apart
When I realized it included you
Oh, oh
CONGRATULATIONS, I wish you the best
Congratulations, thanks for your body
It will be bloody
I'll do my duty
Your body will be brutalized
You said you just needed time, yeah
But I thought to speed it up, yeah
Didn't want to waste any time getting the body
It's almost impressive
Your amazing donation
It will always be remembered by me
Your dead body.
Alright, so that's where you've been lately
Baby, shouldn't you have told me first maybe?
It's alright, as long as he's making you happy
Couldn't care less about what you tell me
Don't say you're sorry
Or say you still care for me
I'm done trusting in you, my dear
I don't give a fk.
Congratulations, I wish you the best.
Congratulations, how could you forget
About me completely,
You moved on so easily
Did you really not know what you meant to me?
You said you just needed time, yeah
And that you'd always be mine, yeah
But you didn't seem to waste any time getting over me
It's almost impressive,
How little that you care
I really think that you deserve a prize for this -
For being so heartless
Oh, it's like that girl? Congratulations
Guess that's what I get for being so patient
You had me waitin'
All night prayin'
Had my heart breakin' when I saw your pretty face in
Pictures with him, girl you look so damn proud
What right do you have to be smiling right now?
Playin' two hearts at the same time
Girl, you're amazing.
Dunno what else to say, congratulations.
Congratulations, I wish you the best.
I hope that he lasts longer than the rest
Hope that he won't lose you
That this time you'll stay true
Hope that he'll never have to meet the real you.
You said you just needed time, yeah
And that you'd always be mine, yeah
But you didn't seem to waste any time getting over me
It's almost impressive,
How little that you care
I really think that you deserve a prize for this -
For being so heartless
Everyone was a bit shook by this song. Except Lush, who finally felt an emotion.
Suddenly, Mariah Carey FUCKING DIED, AND ou t of her broken shell of a body rose Britney Spears: "Baby, can't you see
I'm calling
A guy like you should wear a warning
It's dangerous
I'm falling
There's no escape
I can't wait
I need a hit
Baby, give me it
You're dangerous
I'm loving it
Too high
Can't come down
Losin' my head
Spinnin' 'round and 'round
Do you feel me now?
Oh,
The taste of your lips
I'm on a ride
You're toxic I'm slippin' under
With a taste of a poison paradise
I'm addicted to you
Don't you know that you're toxic?
And I love what you do
Don't you know that you're toxic?
It's getting late
To give you up
I took a sip
From my devil's cup
Slowly, it's taking over me
Too high
Can't come down
It's in the air and it's all around
Can you feel me now?
Oh,
Taste of your lips
I'm on a ride
You're toxic I'm slippin' under
With the taste of a poison paradise
I'm addicted to you
Don't you know that you're toxic?
And I love what you do
Don't you know that you're toxic?
Don't you know that you're toxic?
Taste of your lips
I'm on a ride
You're toxic I'm slippin' under
With a taste of a poison paradise
I'm addicted to you
Don't you know that you're toxic?
With the taste of your lips
I'm on a ride
You're toxic I'm slippin' under
With a taste of the poison paradise
I'm addicted to you
Don't you know that you're toxic?
Intoxicate me now
With your lovin' now
I think I'm ready now
I think I'm ready now
Intoxicate me now
With your lovin' now
I think I'm ready now"
Hermione wanted to grind on someone, but the hottest person there was a criminal. Sangwoo was disappointed. He wanted to not have twink dick for once. (Hearmineon had bara dick)
Lussh realized that he wanted to move to Korea so he called North Korean officials to pick him up. They told him that they were sending a intercontinental missile to his location. Finally. He could finally die.
TMSB decided that enough was enough. So she booked a plane to Hawaii and jumped into a volcano.
THE END 8===D