Dear Nezumi,
The image of you walking away from me still replays in my mind almost every day ever since you have left. You walked further and furthermore away from me as I stared at your back; it was painful to see you walk away from me, especially when I don't know if you're going to come back. I hope you do. If you ever come back, we can pretend nothing happened; we can let it side and know everything is back to normal; to the way our lives are supposed to be. You never gave me a reason why you left; you just left me with a passionate kiss and your mice. I take care of them every day the same day you do and of course, I still read to them their favorite books and poems.
If you ever come back now, you'd see there has been no change at all; except for the fact it's just me and you're gone. It's been two weeks since you're disappearance and I have rarely gotten any sleep. Most nights, I'd read your books alone to myself (unless the Hamlet, Cravat, or Moonlight wants me to read.) Although, Dogloan and Rikiga still visit me when they have time.
Are you feeling okay? Are you taking care of yourself? Are you eating three meals a day? I still cook soup for the serving of two and still prepare two sets of bowls. Sometimes, I take home Cherry Pie from the mom's bakery. I chose to stay here in your small library and home just because it's the only thing I have of you left, except the memories we created.
Mom was sad about Safu's sacrifice, but she's even sadder about the fact she never got to thank you for taking care of me; she never had the chance to meet you. She still works at her bakery; I help her during the day. I come by every day after school. She's been taking care of this little girl named Riri as well; she seems to be very fond of her. She told me about this guy as well; he was the lead of a rebellion against No. 6 and he wanted her to join him. She never did.
If you see now, people of West Block and No. 6 had collided to both help each other. One gives one what the other one needs; and the other side does the same. It's quite overwhelming to know both you and I help remove the wall. Everyone is reunited as one now; no more hate and disgust between the two sides.
I wanna know if I'll be fine; fine without you after accepting the fact I've accepted myself because of you. You wanted me to stay as I am now, but how could I do that without you to remind me to stay myself? You're not here to keep me sane; you're not here to put my feet back to the ground when I am floating. You're not here to make fun of me and my stupid schemes. You're not here to disparage me. Like it or not, I've fallen for your sarcastic and cold attitude. I fell for your hate against No. 6. I fell in love at your ways to save me. Now that you're gone, who's going to save me whenever I'm in trouble?
Am I going to waste my time waiting for you? Am I already wasting my time waiting for you? Tell me you're coming home soon; don't tell me I'll be fine because both you and I know I won't be fine after what you made me realize. I would've trusted that better than what you actually said. But I still have hope; that kiss wasn't for nothing. I have hop you'll come back for me and tell me you feel the same way.
Do you even miss me as much I miss you? Do you remember the little bickering we'd have that made me realize I'm content with just having you and no one else? It was always our arguments that gave me knowledge to what's happening and what you think. As much as I hate to say it, but even us fighting, I miss it. Everything is not normal now that you're gone.
Why am I writing this? I'll never send it to you anyway; I don't know where you are. Even if I knew, I don't have enough courage to do so.
I left the door defenselessly unlocked if you ever come back (Ha, reminds me when you sneaked in to my room when I left the window open; good times). There's always soup and a bowl for you. Tell me if you're craving for Cherry Pie and I'll gladly bake you one. If you ever come back, you'd see how you left everything the same, but me. You left me clueless about where you have disappeared to and never told me the three words I want to hear from you.
If you ever come back, everything would be the same as it was before. I won't be mad at you, I promise; I might even say there's going to be a smile on my face when you show up at our door. It would be like you were never gone; we would both move on from your departure. You'd be welcomed here; after all it is your home. Just please, come back as soon as you can.
I miss you, I wish you were here.
Always, Shion.