Disclaimer: Cornelia Funke owns the Ink-trilogy, and I, sadly for me, own nothing at all Ink-related.

Warning: Please note that it is not advised to try anything on this list if you have any hopes of ever becoming friends with Farid. However, if you are hoping to Annoy, Irritate, or Generally Make Farid Hate You, you will probably find this list a tremendous help.

A/N: I know there are a lot of these lists, but I tried to think of some original ideas and not just the same old boring ones. Hope you enjoy. :)

1. Imitate everything he says in a high, squeaky voice.

2. Take one look at him and say, in a highly sarcastic voice, "Sooo...you, a skinny little boy from Arabian Nights, are somehow going to protect Dustfinger and stop him from dying? Ahem- well, good luck with that..."

3. Give a reasonable explanation of how Dustfinger is actually his biological father. When he acts happy about it, say, "Of course, that was just an idea I had for a fanfic I might write. Dustfinger couldn't really be your father, that would just be stupid."

4. Refuse to explain what a fanfic is.

5. If he comments on how Meggie's eyes are like little pieces of the sky, wince and say, "Ouch. One day pieces of the sky just flew down and got caught in her eyes? That would really hurt."

6. Comment on how pretty his eyelashes are and ask what brand of mascara he uses.

7. Offer him eyeshadow, saying it would look great with his long eyelashes.

8. Continually talk about how wonderful you think Orpheus is, and say it seems like he would like being his slave much better than following Dustfinger around everywhere.

9. Laugh and say, "Hey, isn't it funny that you tried so hard to protect Dustfinger, but he ended up dying because of you?"

10. Refer to him as the boy-who-caused-Dustfinger's-death.

11. Shriek and yell, "Oh no, there's a ghost behind you!" When he turns around and says "Where?", smile and say, "Nevermind, I must have just imagined it."

12. Follow him around everywhere imitating his oath. ("I swear it! By the djinns that howl in the dessert and the ghosts that eat the dead, I swear it by everything I fear!")

13. If he gets mad and tells you to stop, smile and say innocently, "But it's such a stupid oath, I just can't resist imitating it."

14. Laugh hysterically at everything he says, and if he asks why, refuse to explain.

15. Ponder Meggie's choice. ("I wonder why she chose Doria over you. Do you think maybe she thinks you're a skinny, useless, ugly, annoying thing that isn't worthy of her? Or maybe she just doesn't like the way you kiss...")

A/N: Okay, I hope you enjoyed this list. Now please review. If you review, you will be making me very, very happy. VERY happy. Just telling ya. :)

I might do a list of ways to annoy Dustfinger too. So if you have any funny ideas, I would LOVE to hear them.