Fireworks

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.

Summary: Spoilers for 2x12: Silly Love Songs. Rachel visits Finn in the nurse's office, hoping to find the closure she needs to move on with her life. Eventual Puckleberry.

Chapter 1: Closure

Rachel pulled back for the umpteenth time, wondering if it was a good idea to do this. After all, she had made a fool out of herself mere hours ago, having spiraled back to the Rachel-Berry-formerly-known-as-Finn-Hudson's-girlfriend, her voice shrill and loud enough for the entire school to hear her declare her unrequited love for her ex-boyfriend while he was trying to kiss every single girl at McKinley High School. How embarrassing that had been and she hated herself for doing that. She had spent the entirety of winter break nursing her poor heart and convincing her broken state that she had to return to old Rachel Berry, the one who settled for nothing less than her dreams and goals. When she was Finn's girlfriend, she put her aspirations on the backburner in order to concentrate on her boyfriend, but now, things were different. She and Finn were no longer together, and by the way today had turned out, it looked like Finn was unquestionably moving on without her.

She made a move to brush aside the hair away, but restrained herself. She knew it was bad enough that she was here, at the nurse's office, guarding Finn as though he was hers. She had only been concerned after what happened in Glee rehearsal earlier. Well, not just concerned. She was Rachel Berry after all. And Rachel Berry wanted answers. She swallowed hard, remembering Santana's words.

"It sounds like you have mono, otherwise known as the kissing disease. But you know what really helps spread it? A little tongue, which is weird because it sounds like Quinn here, has it too."

Sighing loudly, Rachel looked at Finn's unconscious form again. It wouldn't be a huge surprise to her if what Santana said was the truth. After all, she had seen the looks Finn and Quinn exchanged over the course of the day. What really irked her was that Finn was readily trying to break Quinn and Sam up by persuading Quinn to cheat on her boyfriend. Wasn't the whole reason why Finn broke up with Quinn and her because they had cheated on him? And now, he was trying to instigate the cheating? Talk about hypocrisy! She wanted so much to spill all her emotions -her pent-up frustration, her annoyance, her anger, her guilt, and her love – but kept them. There was no point telling Finn all this; he wouldn't love her back. Not now, maybe ever.

She took the wet towel in her hand and placed it gingerly on Finn's forehead. At this, Finn began to blink, turning his head to look at his visitor. Rachel's eyes darted away from his gaze briefly. Courage, Rachel.

"Where's Quinn?" She asked, stirring the conversation. It wouldn't hurt to ask anyways. She had expected the blonde to be with Finn. She carefully pressed the towel to Finn's forehead.

Finn blinked again, his brow furrowing as he thought hard. "Uhh, her mom picked her up a few hours ago."

Rachel nodded, her hand leaving the towel. She stood over Finn, feeling discomfited. "Quinn's really very pretty." She looked down, briefly pondering if she should have said that aloud.

"You don't have to do that," Finn remarked, pointing to the wet towel.

Rachel shook her head, "No," again, her hand shot back to the indicated towel. She pushed back a strand of Finn's hair. "I would do it for anyone," she wondered if that was true, recalling her previous outburst at Finn. I don't care about Puck. I don't care about anyone but you. "She's prettier than me." It was something she always knew, something that was thrown in her face. Compared to Quinn Fabray, she was nothing. No one wanted her.

"Would you stop?" Finn's voice sounded weak. He opened his eyes to look at her. "You're beautiful." Rachel felt her insides churn at his words. Why couldn't he have said that more often when they had been dating? Why did he have to say such sweet sentiments now that they were no longer together? He was always like that.

Rachel looked at him for a minute before tearing her gaze back down. Letting out a sigh, she sat down, feeling fragile. "I know she is. It meant so much to me that you chose me over her," the emotions spilled out, having been confined to her heart and thoughts for months. "Girls like me don't get chosen over girls like her very much." If ever.

Feeling a little more confident, she decided to pursue the truth about the Finn/Quinn situation. "Did you kiss her? Like Santana said?"

Finn closed his eyes, "Yeah, yeah, but I just needed to get it out of my system."

Although she had been expecting it, Rachel still felt a twinge of tenderness. "So what did it feel like? When you kissed her?" Strangely, there was no anger in her voice, only curiosity. She wanted to know why. She had to know why.

Finn didn't hesitate. "Fireworks," he said, looking up at the ceiling, as though recalling the mind-boggling incident.

"Did you see fireworks when you kissed me?" She had to know, even if it meant her heart breaking into millions of Valentine's Day heart-shaped fragments. Finn hesitated; his mouth trying to form words, and although a small smile appeared on his lips, he didn't say anything.

Rachel could hardly breathe. Of course, he saw nothing. Everything we had was nothing compared to Quinn. The room felt like it might swallow her whole; she had to get out of here. Promptly, Rachel stood up, making her way to the curtains and out the nurse's office.

"Rachel, wait." Finn's voice stopped her from walking out. Naturally, he has to be the good guy even when he's breaking my heart.

"No," she looked back and saw that he had sat up. "It's good. Thank you," the irony of the words didn't shock her. She meant what she was saying. Finn's answer to her question had given her the answer she needed. "You've given me the strength to move on. I know now that there's nothing here for me anymore." Although it was hard for her to admit it, she was ready to move on. She and Finn were done, maybe for good. Finn had never seen the fireworks he saw with Quinn; in the back of her mind, Rachel always knew Finn would hold a spot for the first love of his life. She wondered if it would be the same for her, as Finn had been her first love.

"That's not the truth. I still-" Rachel parted her lips, wondering if he was going to say what she wanted him to say. What if he did? It doesn't matter anymore. "I'm just...I'm so confused in my head right now." Finn did look like he was baffled, more so than usual.

"No it's ok," she looked down. "I understand. Now I'm free to pursue my dreams without anything holding me back. And you've actually inspired my song selection for this week's love song assignment," she smiled softly. Fireworks.

"Feel better, Finn." She said, turning around and pulling the curtain open. She looked back one last time, her eyes locked with Finn's, feeling the finality. It's done.