tell me, did you sail across the sun
did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded
and that heaven is overrated
tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
one without a permanent scar
and did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there
drops of jupiter; train
Blaine left on August 3rd.
.
Kurt tried to stay strong, it was only one year of college after all, but Blaine was his everything and it wasn't easy to let go.
Blaine had told him that he could move on if he wanted to, and that kind of hurt. Blaine was supposed to kiss him silly, begging Kurt to never to forget him, and say that he would visit as soon as possible.
But he hadn't.
He had told Kurt he was really going to miss him, then kissed him passionately, but quickly. He'd opened his mouth, hesitated, then said, "I'll understand if you want to forget me and move on."
Kurt had laughed, brushing it off and promised that the distance would simply make their relationship stronger. Blaine had then kissed him one last time, murmuring, "I love you."
"I love you too," Kurt had replied softly as Blaine boarded the plane.
He still couldn't shake that panicky feeling that filled his chest.
.
It was only a year, Kurt kept telling himself. One school year. And he'd be back for Christmas and Spring break. He could wait.
He was happy for Blaine, really. Being able to study abroad was a great opportunity, especially for acting, and Kurt was immensely proud of him. Blaine deserved something like this.
But Kurt couldn't help the selfish feelings that came over him. He missed Blaine so much. And if anyone should be studying in London, it should be him- he was the one majoring in fashion after all, and what better a place to study fashion than a place like London?
Sure, the two of them texted. They Skyped. They took turns staying up late on the phone, but it wasn't the same.
And Kurt couldn't help but feel like Blaine was slipping away.
.
The end of the first quarter rolled around, and Kurt prayed he could make it the next month without breaking apart. He'd made it this far, hadn't he? He was sure he could do it.
But as the days wore on, Blaine became more and more busy, getting ready for a Christmas production he was to perform. Every time Kurt called or texted, he seemed to be in rehearsal. He would answer quickly, telling Kurt that he'd call back during his next break, but he never did. "Time was too short," he'd say, "and I had to get other things done."
Kurt sighed, once again hanging up his phone.
He bounced the pencil he was currently holding between his fingers. He was supposed to be working on new designs for a practice spring line, but his boyfriend had just hung up on him again. For the third time that week.
He huffed, throwing his pencil down on his desk. He leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms, fuming.
"Whoa. Be careful when you're throwing things."
Kurt turned in his chair to face his roommate, Chase.
"I'm not in the mood," he said coldly.
Chase sighed, moving his textbooks away from him and hopping off his bed. He walked over to Kurt's desk, looking at the designs over his shoulder.
"What's wrong?" he asked, faking a tone of concern. "Are you having trouble with these ugly pictures of clothing?"
Kurt's jaw dropped and he scooted forward, covering the drawings with his arms. "These are not ugly," he scoffed. "They're going to be the newest trends."
Chase snorted. "I will never get fashion."
"I'd certainly hope not, Mr. Computer Freak," Kurt said. "That would be quite frightening considering all you can design is gory posters."
"That's not all I do in graphic design!" Chase protested. "Besides, movies would suck without the amazing special effects I can recreate."
Kurt just rolled his eyes, picking up his pencil and sticking it behind his ear as he gathered up his designs.
"But seriously," Chase pressed, flopping back down on his bed. "What's wrong?"
Kurt took a deep breath. "You wouldn't understand," he said quietly.
"Oh no," Chase mumbled. "Is it a guy problem?" Chase was straight, but he was a strong member of NYU's LGBT community, so things like that didn't bother him.
Kurt swiveled around, nodding sadly.
"You don't have a crush on me, do you?" Chase asked.
Though he knew Chase was kidding, Kurt opened his mouth in surprise, huffing, "I have a boyfriend!"
Chase chuckled, then stopped quickly at the sad look on Kurt's face. "So it's about him?" Chase asked, guessing correctly.
"Yeah," Kurt muttered.
"What's the problem?" Chase asked. As Kurt hesitated, he remembered. "Wait- is he the guy in London?"
"Yep."
"Awww," Chase cooed. "Do you miss him?"
Kurt looked up, a look of disbelief on his face. "Is staring at violence all day turning your brain to mush, Chase? Of course I miss him!"
Chase held up his hands in defense. "I was just checking. But- is that all, or is there something else?"
Kurt hung his head, sighing again. "I think he's forgetting about me. I think he might've found another guy."
Chase cocked his head, raising a brow. "What makes you say that?"
Kurt turned around again, taking long, loud breaths. "I don't know," he finally mumbled. "I just- I feel like- he's just always so busy. I mean, I get he has rehearsal twenty-four-seven, but he hardly answers his phone anymore and he never calls me back and when he does answer, it's only to tell me he can't talk." He hugged his binder to his chest, blinking his eyes rapidly to calm the burning sensation in them.
He heard the old bed creak as Chase got up. He put a comforting hand on Kurt's shoulder.
"He's just busy with acting. Only acting," Chase assured. "Give him until after performances are done- you two will be staying up late annoying the hell out of me with all your lovey-dovey talk again in no time."
Despite the ache in his chest, Kurt let out a small laugh.
"See?" Chase said. "And he's coming here during break, right?"
Kurt nodded. "Yeah," he said. "Yeah, he is."
"Then there's no need to worry."
.
It was four in the morning, and Kurt was currently trying to sleep.
But Blaine had apparently forgotten the time distance because Kurt's phone was blaring the trashy, old song, "Teenage Dream."
He groaned as he pushed himself up in bed, hands reaching blindly for the cell phone. He pressed TALK as he shoved it to his ear.
"Hello?" he croaked.
"Hey, Kurt, I'm really sorry that it's so early in the morning, but-"
"Blaine?" Kurt shrieked as he sat bolt upright in bed. He'd heard the ringtone, he'd seen the caller ID, but his grogginess kept from actually making the connection.
Blaine laughed. "Yeah, it's me, listen-"
"Oh, I'm so glad you called, I-" Kurt started, but Blaine ignored his interruption.
"Kurt, listen," he tried again. Kurt shut his mouth, waiting for Blaine to speak. "Umm... I can't... exactly... make it back to the US."
Kurt's brows furrowed as he tried to make sense of what he'd just said. "What do you mean?" he asked.
"I have to stay here over Christmas break."
Instantly, Kurt's heart shattered. "Oh," he said quietly, a lump rising in his throat. "Oh, um... well, okay."
"Believe me, I wish I could come home," Blaine said. "I miss you so much, but I just got offered a place in this amazing theatre workshop, and it starts the day right after Christmas. I'm so sorry." The line crackled.
"No, it's fine," Kurt assured. "Th-that's great. I'm really proud of you." His voice was quiet, dead, lifeless.
"Thanks," Blaine muttered. "But I promise, as soon as I can, I'm coming to the States. Even if it's not break. I'll ask for even just a few days off before the weekend and come see you."
"Blaine, you don't have to do that," Kurt protested, closing his eyes tightly for a few seconds.
"But I want to," Blaine said. "And I'll make it happen."
"No, Blaine-"
"Stop, Kurt," Blaine said softly. "Well, I suppose I should probably let you go now. You need your rest."
"Yeah," Kurt said simply, still trying to wrap his head around everything.
"I love you, Kurt," Blaine said sincerely.
"I love you too, Blaine," he replied and hung up the phone.
He set it back on his bedside table and curled up in the blankets. By the sound of Chase's louder breathing, Kurt knew that he was awake and had heard most, if not the whole conversation, so he closed his eyes, trying desperately not to cry himself to sleep.
.
"Are you going to be okay?" Chase asked, still stuffing clothes into his suitcase.
"I'm fine," Kurt lied hastily. He looked up to see Chase's packing job and sighed. "Oh my God. How are you even living on your own?" he scoffed, moving across the room.
"What are you doing?" Chase asked, watching Kurt as he pulled the many jeans and sweatshirts from his suitcase.
"Fixing this," Kurt replied. He started with the jeans, folding them neatly and lining them up at the bottom.
Chase rolled his eyes, shaking his head. As Kurt continued to carefully pack things into Chase's luggage, Chase sat down on the bed, clasping his hands in his lap.
"Kurt?" he asked after awhile, watching his face closely.
"Yeah?" Kurt replied absently.
"Are you really fine?"
Kurt dropped his hands, still clutching the Beatles T-shirt between his fingers. He opened his mouth, but Chase spoke again.
"And don't you dare say "yes," because I know this has got to be hard on you," he said warningly.
Kurt shot an exasperated glare at him before saying, "No, I'm not fine. I miss Blaine incredibly and he's not here. I'm upset." He heaved a quick sigh. "But he's doing something important, and I'm happy for him."
"And that's all that's bothering you?" Chase asked. "Only that he's not here."
"God, Chase," Kurt groaned, leaning his head back to look at the ceiling for a moment. "You pick now to be all perceptive." He let his head fall back down, exhaling loudly. "Blaine has changed," he finally admitted.
"You really think that?" Chase asked.
Kurt's eyebrows raised as a thoughtful, almost sad look crossed his face. "I think... I mean- he just seems like he never has time for me anymore. And maybe he never will. And it's just every time I get that brief chance to talk to him, he seems different."
"Kurt, stop worrying about it," Chase said, his eyes wide and open, giving Kurt a reassuring look. "Blaine is simply busy. He doesn't have time to think about all his interests and shit anymore. Just wait 'til he comes back, okay? It'll probably like old times. He hasn't changed."
Kurt lowered his eyes, stopping at the floor. "You're right. I'm just freaking out." He took a deep breath. "Thanks, Chase," he said, smiling.
Chase stood up and gave Kurt a manly hug, patting him on the back.
"I'm going to miss you over break," Kurt said. He walked over to get his suitcase. He straightened his overlong coat before hoisting the luggage in both hands. "Well, I'm out. Got a plane to catch." He smiled over his shoulder as he walked out the door.
"Wait!" Chase called after him. "What about my suitcase?"
.
"Aw, baby, you are too cute."
"Aw, Rach, stop it."
Giggle. Another giggle. Smooching noises.
Kurt huffed. He sank back even more into the couch, crossing his arms over his chest. He was glad to be back with his parents and brother and best friends, but not when four of the said people were couples getting all cuddly and he was stuck alone.
He sighed, pulling his phone from his pocket.
No messages.
Selecting the contact, Mercedes, he sent a simple text to her, waiting to complain if she replied.
As Rachel and Finn continued to act all sorts of nausea-inducing cute, Kurt wrapped a blanket around his shoulders, curling his legs up under himself. He busied himself by looking out the window, watching as snowflakes fluttered gently to the ground. Resting his head on the back of the couch, he tried not to think about Blaine.
"Kurt, honey?"
Carole had momentarily abandoned Burt and now sat next to him, peering closely at his face. "You've been awfully quiet. Are you sick?" She rested her hand on Kurt's forehead.
"No, I'm okay, Mom," Kurt said quietly.
Carole nodded, but frowned, a knowing look crossing her face. "You miss Blaine a lot, don't you?"
Kurt hung his head, trying to hide his blush. "Yeah," he admitted, feeling the ache in his heart intensify. His breath caught a little.
"Oh, sweetie..." Carole pulled him into a hug. "You'll see him soon. I promise you that." She kissed the top of his head, and he smiled into her chest. She pulled away, cupping his face. "Do you want to call him?"
"Naw," Kurt said. "It'd be too late over there." And he probably wouldn't answer anyway.
"Well, you just try not to think too much about this, okay?" Carole said. "It's Christmas- be happy."
He forced a smile, his eyes still sad. "I will be."
.
Rachel was finally gone.
Kurt loved the girl, he really did, but she was just so goddamn overbearing sometimes. And he wanted to get some quality time with his brother.
Now they were sitting in the living room, watching Finding Nemo, and Kurt had actually forgotten about a certain someone for awhile.
"I really want to go to Australia," Finn said suddenly.
Kurt blinked, then snorted. "Well, good luck with that. You haven't even made it out of the state yet."
Finn opened his mouth, but Kurt cut him off, reading his mind. "And Glee and football don't count."
"Well, I'm still going to Australia," Finn said firmly. Kurt just rolled his eyes. "Seriously though, dude. We should totally take a trip around the world together. New Directions, Wes, and David. It would epic."
"And how on earth would we manage that?" Kurt asked incredulously. "How are we going to get enough money for fifteen people to go on a trip around the world?"
Finn shrugged. "I dunno, but we'll figure it out."
"You are crazy, Finn Hudson," Kurt said. "Completely, batshit crazy."
"I'm telling ya, Kurt," Finn argued, eyes still glued to the TV screen. "I'm gonna make this happen."
Kurt just chuckled, glad to be around his brother's insanity again.
"Oh, God, Finn," he breathed. "So, besides sucking face with Rachel, what have you been doing?"
"Going to college," Finn answered simply, glancing briefly at Kurt. "Football season's over in a matter of weeks, so practices are exhausting."
"Are you still going for a major in music?" Kurt asked.
"Yeah," Finn said, his voice going oddly quiet. He picked up the remote and paused the movie. "Can I ask you a serious question?"
Kurt blinked. "Of course, Finn."
Finn took a deep breath. "Do you think it'd be cool for me to go into music therapy?"
Kurt's eyebrows shot up, a wide grin stretching across his face. "That'd be incredible, Finn."
"Yeah," Finn agreed, smiling crookedly and rubbing his neck. "I just wanna do something good in the world, you know. I wanna do music, but I don't want it to be for my own gain."
"Finn, that's... that's really amazing of you," Kurt said, utterly flustered.
"Thanks, man," Finn said, blushing a little bit. Without warning, he hugged Kurt tightly. "I've missed you, bro."
Kurt smiled even broader. "I've missed you too."
.
Kurt was in a rollercoaster of emotions.
He was really excited to go back to New York, to see Chase, to get back in the world of design. But he didn't want to leave his family just yet. He hadn't seen Rachel and Mercedes and Finn in a long time, his parents even longer.
And he just wanted Blaine to be with him. Three and a half months, he kept telling himself. Just three and a half months. And Blaine had even hinted it might be sooner.
Trying to get control of his hormones, fighting the tears of joy and sadness, he grabbed his bags and brought them down to the living room. His parents, Finn, Rachel, Mercedes, and David were gathered around in the entryway, sharing tearful-in-some-cases goodbyes. Rachel was the first to try to choke him as she hugged him fiercely.
"Oh, Kurt," she cried. "I'm going to miss you so much."
"Rachel," Kurt said calmly. "You go to Julliard. I see you in the city all the time. We're riding the same plane back. Relax."
Mercedes was next, and she gave him a sloppy kiss on the cheek after hugging him. "I'm going to miss you, baby," she said.
"I'll miss you too, girl," Kurt replied, blinking his eyes rapidly.
David pulled him into a hug, patting his back. "I hope to see you soon, Kurt," he said. "When Blaine comes to the States- me and Wes are driving to New York. No doubt about that. It'll be like old times." He smiled as Kurt turned to Finn.
Finn hugged him tightly, nearly crushing his ribs. "Call me as soon as you land, 'kay, bro?"
"Of course, of course," Kurt sighed.
"And if you don't call within minutes of Rachel, you know I'll tell her to get on your ass about it."
Kurt let out a groan. "Calm down, Finn. I'll call."
His parents were last and by the time they released him, he could no longer keep in the tears.
They all piled up into Finn's car, riding to the airport together. When they finally made it to the terminal, Kurt and Rachel linked arms, waving back at Finn, Mercedes, and David as they boarded the plane.
.
Rachel had taken a cab to the airport when she flew to Ohio, so being the gentlemen that he was, Kurt offered to drive her. After dropping her off, he drove through the darkening streets, anticipation and excitement bubbling in the pit of his stomach.
Chase wouldn't be back until tomorrow afternoon, so he would have the room to himself for the night.
He pulled into the parking lot, coming to a stop. He hopped out of the driver's seat, popping the trunk, and grabbed his bags.
Kurt smiled as he unlocked the door to his dorm room, turning the lights on. He deposited his bags at the foot of his bed, collapsing into the neatly-made covers. They were slightly chilled, but they warmed up pretty fast.
He hadn't been planning to fall asleep, but it had been an exhausting day, and ended up waking early the next morning. He was a little horrified about missing his moisturizing, his hair was a complete, greasy-and-gelled mess, and his designer clothes were wrinkled, but he got over it quickly.
He took a long, hot shower, getting used to the hard water pressure again. Once he got dressed, he checked his phone. Thirty new messages. He'd called Finn of course, but there were still a few texts from him. Mercedes, Rachel, David, Wes, Sam, Quinn, Tina, Artie, and Brittany had all texted him as well.
But nothing from Blaine.
He sighed, trying not to let it get to him.
The clock read nine a.m. Hopefully Blaine was on break now.
The phone rang one, two, three, four, five, six, seven times. It went straight to his voicemail.
Hey, you've reached Blaine Anderson. Sorry I couldn't answer at the moment, but leave a message and I'll call you back ASAP.
Kurt used to smile at the way Blaine said ASAP, like A-Sap, with a pop on the 'p,' but he'd been hearing it so much lately that he couldn't help but frown and sigh. He left a short message, asking Blaine to call back, telling him that he loved and missed him.
He clicked END, and lied down on his bed, laying his hands on his stomach, his feet still touching the floor.
Blaine didn't call back.
.
Chase arrived when Kurt was going through and cleaning his desk.
"Hello, my lovely roommate," he said as he entered the room. "And how was your break?"
"Wonderful," Kurt replied, forcing a smile that seemed sincere enough. "And yours."
"Just grand," Chase said. He ran his fingers through his hair, making a face. "Ugh, I feel so gross. I need to shower." And with that, he dropped his bags on his bed, grabbed a change of clothes from one of them and headed for the bathroom, his winter jacket still on.
Kurt chuckled, and turned back towards the drawer he was sorting through. His phone vibrated from next to the keyboard, and his heart raced as he snatched it up.
A text. From Mercedes.
He sighed, answered it quickly, and set it back down.
Nothing.
.
Soon, the days turned into weeks, and as January shifted into February, the snow melting into dirty, brown mush, he still hadn't had a conversation with Blaine.
He'd stopped calling after the second week, when Blaine had refused even to reply with a text.
He checked his email, Facebook, everything.
And received nothing.
And as the quietness reached a month, he gave up. He'd call Blaine to break up with him, but he'd no doubt receive his voicemail.
School became his top priority, his friends and family his close second. He put all his anger, and disappointment, and regret, and feeling of betrayal into his work, determined not to break.
Blaine didn't deserve him. That's what he kept telling himself. But he couldn't help feeling desperately horrible sometimes. Especially when Chase wasn't there and he didn't have to hide it. He'd curl up in his bed, closing his eyes tightly, listening to his old Warbler playlist and letting the sobs rack his body. He didn't know why he was doing it, but it made him feel closer to closure.
.
It was a rainy March morning.
Kurt trudged through the building puddles, glad he'd worn his adorable black-and-grey striped rain boots instead of something more elaborate and expensive. His jacket hung wet and heavy on his body, and a maroon scarf wrapped around his mouth. The cold air bit at his nose, ears, and the fingertips peaking out of his fingerless gloves.
He straightened the bag over his shoulder, awkwardly clutching the textbooks in his other hand closer to his body.
He stepped into the dorm lobby, breathing a sigh of relief as a blast of heat hit him. He tugged the scarf off of his face, and reached into a pocket on the side of his bag for his keys. He came up to his room and fumbled with them. The locked clicked and he stepped gratefully through the doorway.
Chase was lounging on his bed, his laptop propped in front of him. Earbuds stuck in his ears and he typed feverishly. He looked up as Kurt entered.
"Hey," he said. "Your phone has been ringing like crazy all morning," he informed him, pointing to Kurt's bedside table.
Kurt raced forward, plucking it up in his hands. "Oh, thank God," he said. "I'll never leave you alone again, poor baby," he told the thing, rubbing it affectionately. "Ugh, I have so much to tell Mercedes about the new spring line..." he trailed off, scrolling through his messages.
His jaw dropped slightly.
"What?" Chase asked watching him.
Chase hadn't been kidding. There must've been seventy messages, and he counted at least twenty missed calls.
"What the hell?" Kurt mumbled.
"What?" Chase asked urgently.
Every single message and call had the same name attached to it.
Blaine.
.
Kurt was beyond pissed. He surpassed furious, sped right by fuming, he was explosive.
He looked up at Chase, "You'll have to excuse me for a moment."
He left the room, strutting through the halls and headed back out into the rain, taking cover under a tree.
He wasn't even sure if he wanted to call back, but his fingers were already dialing. He could hardly put what he was feeling into words right now, so how could he tell Blaine? The phone rang, and he almost hoped it would go straight to the voicemail, but on the second ring, he picked up.
"Kurt!" he exclaimed excitedly.
Kurt just stood there, breathless. He wanted to feel relief. He wanted to be happy. But all he felt was the complete and utter anger coursing hot and fast through his veins.
"Kurt?" Blaine asked.
After another moment of silence, Kurt snorted.
"Are you fucking kidding me, Blaine Anderson?" he shrieked.
"Kurt-"
"It's been months, Blaine. MONTHS. Do you know how many times I called? Do you know how many emails and texts I sent? Do you know how fucking long I waited for you?" He was growing on hysterical now. Do you know how many nights I stayed up, hoping you'd call, only to fall asleep crying? Do you know how many times I've lied to Chase that I'm fine? Do you know how many times I wondered why you just stopped talking to me, why I wasn't good enough?
"I know, Kurt, but-"
"I know you've been busy, but my God, Blaine, make some fucking time. I've made time for you." Kurt finished with a scoff.
"Kurt, you have every right to be mad at me," Blaine started. "But please let me explain."
"Explain what?" Kurt shouted angrily, throwing his hands in the air. "Explain why you've been ignoring me? Explain why you can't take two fucking seconds to just call your boyfriend and say I love you? Explain why you're cheating on me?" The line was silent as Kurt breathed heavily.
Finally, Blaine whispered. "Cheating on you?"
"Yeah. Are you admitting it?" Kurt asked, his voice full of acid. "Or are you just going to lie to me?"
It was Blaine's turn to scoff. "What kind of guy do you think I am, Kurt?" he asked. "I would never cheat on you. Ever."
"Then, why-"
"I just finished that goddamn, life-sucking workshop," Blaine started quietly. "And I was calling to tell you that I've made enough money to come visit you."
Kurt said nothing, still too angry.
"And I'm fucking sorry if I worked and went to school fourteen hours everyday. I'm sorry that my breaks always consisted of interviews and extra work and trying to get my homework done and occasionally eating. I'm sorry that whenever I finally made it home at night, it'd be early morning there and you'd be asleep. I'm sorry that I've been trying to e-mail you, but you never write back. God Kurt, I've done everything I could." He scoffed again, the noise crackling in the phone.
"E-mail?" Kurt asked. "What are you talking about? I checked every day. And I sent them to you, but you didn't reply."
"Did you use the right e-mail?" Blaine asked as calmly as he could. "I told you I changed it."
"No you didn't," Kurt snapped.
"Yes, I did!" Blaine argued. "I wrote it in-"
"Well, I never got the message," Kurt interrupted him. "Maybe you told the person you cheated on me with, but you never told me."
The line went silent again, and Kurt swore he could hear Blaine ready to explode, but when he spoke, it was utterly calm.
"You know," he said quietly. "I think I'll just use that vacation money to buy a condo."
"You do that," Kurt sneered. "I don't fucking need you anyway. We're through, Blaine."
"Couldnt've said it better myself," Blaine said. "I need a more soundproof place anyway."
And the line went dead.
.
The rain poured down on Kurt as he sunk to the ground, not caring that he his pants were full of mud. His tears blended in with the raindrops, and the thunder drowned the sound of his sobs.
.
He missed the rest of his classes that day, curled up in bed. Chase only questioned him once, and then left him alone.
.
Nothing helped, really.
Chase took him out a few times, but he never met anyone quite like the guy he'd left behind.
School was a distraction, as was work, but it was never enough. He started slacking in his designs. They were average, almost boring, and they stopped standing out.
He didn't sing in the shower anymore and hardly tried in practice. People noticed, but they didn't say anything.
He should've been happy getting rid of that constant fear of losing Blaine, but now that he had lost him, it was a different story.
It intensified the heartache.
.
Spring break was approaching fast, and Kurt still was lost of what to do. Finally, Finn called him, and informed him that most of New Directions, Wes, and David wanted to head out to Colorado, and asked him to come.
Of course, he said yes, but he couldn't shake the disappointment of leaving New York and the plans he'd had there with Blaine behind.
.
Kurt had come to sort of hate planes.
He now had been riding in one next to Rachel for the past few hours and was more than ready to get off. Luckily, the descent shouldn't have been too long. And when it came, he actually breathed a sigh of relief.
Finn, Mercedes, David, Wes, Puck, Quinn, Artie, Brittany, Santana, Sam, Tina, and Mike were all waiting for him and Rachel. They both ran forward, engulfed by old friends. Everyone was mumbling, "I missed you," and "It's so good to see you," and Kurt was almost able to forget about Blaine.
They all headed to a hotel, and he roomed with Rachel, Mercedes and Quinn. They jumped into pajamas, smeared masks on their faces, picked out vacation outfits, and dished about boys. Rachel babbled about Finn, Mercedes about David, and Quinn about Puck. No one mentioned Blaine.
They popped in a movie and fell asleep curled up next to each other.
.
The next day, jet lag had set in, and Kurt didn't feel like doing much. He lied around with the girls as they planned the rest of the trip.
The second day, he felt better and they took the opportunity to go shopping. The guys headed to places like American Eagle and Abercrombie for clothes, but Kurt scoffed and joined the girls for real designer stores.
After restocking their wardrobe, the girls and Kurt met the guys in the food court for a mid-afternoon lunch.
The days went on, and they did more interesting things. They went white-water rafting, and Mercedes and Rachel both panicked at first, but Kurt eventually coaxed them to go. Normally, he wouldn't have been into things like that, but he wanted to have fun, and the sight was beautiful. It was amazing, and they had plenty of fun getting drenched, and once Puck fell out (or maybe he was pushed), but luckily the area of the river was calm and they pulled him back in quickly.
They went hiking, and this time it was Kurt's turn to complain. He didn't exactly pack to clothes to get dirty in, and the boots he borrowed from Finn were absolutely hideous. He also hated sweating like that. But he had a good time, and it was funny watching Sam freak out by the thought of a bear attack.
They'd gone through week one, and Kurt hoped that week two wouldn't go as fast.
On Sunday, everyone just relaxed. They went to a water park, and Kurt intended to tan his porcelain skin, but of course, even with careful amounts of sunscreen, he simply got burned.
.
It was Monday, and they were downtown, exploring little boutiques, but Kurt didn't have his heart in it.
As they sat outside at an ice cream parlor, Mercedes and Quinn approached him. He dug his spoon into his bowl of chocolate-chip coffee ice cream. The flavor sent little feelings of nostalgia through him.
Coffee.
Nonfat Grande Mocha.
He hadn't had one in months, and the damn ice cream had to taste like one. He pushed it away, feeling queasy.
"Kurt, are you okay?" Quinn asked.
He looked up, forcing a small grin. "Yeah, I'm fine."
"You don't look so good, baby," Mercedes argued.
"I'm just not hungry," Kurt said. "Don't worry."
"Kurt, don't lie," Quinn said, lowering her voice. "We know this has to do with Blaine. Everyone does."
Kurt groaned, frowning. "Has everyone been talking behind my back?"
Mercedes laid her hand on his. "Honey, we're just worried about you."
Kurt looked away, watching Puck and Finn tackle a huge twelve scoops of ice cream. Normally, he would've made a disgusted a face, but his frown stayed locked on his lips.
"Maybe you should call him," Quinn suggested.
Kurt looked back at her, feeling tears swelling in his eyes. "I don't think I can," he said quietly. "I ruined everything."
Mercedes pulled him into a hug. "Kurt, you've been thinking about him everyday since the break-up, haven't you?"
He nodded, lips quivering.
"Well, then what makes you think he hasn't been doing the same?"
Kurt shook his head, and the tears spilled.
"Don't give up on him," Quinn said, taking his hand. "Don't let one little miscommunication come between you two for the rest of your life."
Kurt let that sink in.
It wasn't likely that they'd never run into each other again. He still kept in touch with Wes and David after all, who were Blaine's best friends. Hell, they were sitting twenty feet away from him at that moment. But did he want their meetings to always be awkward? Did he want to see Blaine and think of what could've been?
Maybe he should call Blaine.
Maybe when they got back.
Maybe.
.
Quinn and Mercedes didn't bother him for the rest of the day, and no one else noticed anything. Or if they did, they ignored it.
That night, a music event was going on in a local park. A few unknown bands would be there, and karaoke would be set up. Rachel declared immediately that they should go, and everyone agreed.
Kurt changed into a pair of skinny jeans, black dress shoes, a button-up shirt, and glossy red vest. He slicked his hair back and joined his friends in the lobby at nine-thirty sharp.
The park was busier than they had thought it would be, and they had to yell to talk to each other. Kurt stayed close to Mercedes, gripping her hand tightly as they wove through the crowd.
They watched a few of the acts perform, and then milled around for awhile. Some people were drinking, but Kurt never really grew into it after his horrible experience in high school, so he settled on a bottle of water.
When it was time for karaoke, Puck was one of the first. Mercedes asked him if he would like to go up there with her, but he simply shrugged. She gave him a knowing look and dropped it.
As Finn and Rachel took the stage, Mercedes glanced back.
"I'll be right back," she said, letting go of his hand.
He nodded, assuming it was David and gave his attention back to his friends as they started singing a flirty duet.
His heart started sinking.
He missed singing like that, full of life and luster. He missed singing with enthusiasm and individuality, but lately he'd had no reason to due to so.
His phone suddenly felt heavy in his pocket, and he had an overbearing urge to call Blaine, despite his current situation, despite the obscene amount of noise, but he couldn't summon enough courage to do it.
His heart just started to clench tighter, and his stomach tightened, and his eyes burned with tears. He couldn't do this. He couldn't be here.
As Rachel and Finn continued singing and making googly-eyes at each other, he whipped around, racing through the crowd. His heart thumped, and his palms were sweating. He didn't know why he was suddenly having a panic attack, but it seemed like all these weeks of missing Blaine had finally built up and were now spilling out of him.
As he neared the back of the crowed, someone grabbed his shoulder. He yelped; it was still sunburnt.
"Jeez, relax," a familiar voice said. "I'm not here to murder you."
Kurt let out another shriek, but it came out as word.
"Blaine?"
.
For a moment, Kurt just stood there, caught between fear, anger, and happiness.
And at the last moment, he decided to lunge forward and throw his arms around Blaine. He nestled his head into Blaine's neck, and Blaine rubbed his back.
"Oh, God," Blaine breathed. "I thought you were going to punch me or something."
Kurt laughed through his joyful tears, and pulled his head up so he could kiss Blaine on the lips. Blaine responded immediately, deepening it. When they finally pulled apart, Kurt leaned his forehead against Blaine's, a soft sigh escaping his lips.
"What on earth are you doing here?" he asked breathlessly, straightening up.
"I came to apologize," Blaine said.
"Yeah, but you- how did- I- I'm in Colorado," Kurt spluttered.
"I know," Blaine said, laughing. "I arrived in New York and when I found your dorm empty, I called Mercedes to ask if she knew where you were. She told me you guys were here, and I jumped on a last minute flight. I needed to see you. I've been going crazy since we broke up. I would've called you, but I wanted to do this in person."
Kurt stared at him for a moment, his eyebrows dipping, his lips parted. "That is the sweetest thing I've ever heard."
Blaine smiled, kissing his forehead. "I'm glad you think so."
"I'm so sorry, Blaine," Kurt said softly. "I'm so sorry I doubted you. I'm so sorry I overacted. I love you so much."
"Honey, just relax," Blaine replied, moving a lose strand of hair of Kurt's hair back into place. "I love you too. And you had reason to doubt me. You didn't overreact, I did. I didn't call you for months. I made no time, and that's not what a good boyfriend does. It was easy for you to think that I was cheating on you, and I handled that badly. I wasn't lying though. I would never cheat on you, Kurt. You're everything I could ever want and need and love."
Kurt smiled widely, tears still leaking down his face. Blaine hugged him closer, wrapping one arm around his waist and the other around his shoulders. Kurt leaned his head against Blaine's chest.
"And did you really never get my new e-mail?" Blaine asked. "I wrote it in that letter I sent with your Christmas gift. I had to change it because someone hacked into my old one. Probably a fan."
"Christmas gift?" Kurt asked, lifting his head up. "I never got it."
"Ugh, no wonder you hated me," Blaine said, smirking. "Haven't you been checking your mail?"
"Yeah, but I guess it must've got mixed up or something," Kurt said.
"Well, it doesn't even matter," Blaine assured, cupping Kurt's face gently with his hand and stroking his cheek with his thumb. "Because I'm going to shower you with gifts over the next few days, and when I go back to London, I'll call you everyday. And there's only a month and half until school ends for the summer and then next year I go back to Julliard with Rachel."
Kurt grinned as Blaine grabbed his hand gently, entwining their fingers, and pulled him through the crowd. They sang a loving duet onstage, their friends applauding insanely for them.
Back at the hotel, they kicked Wes, David, and Sam out, and sent them to go sleep on the floor of Finn, Puck, and Mike's room.
They only slept, Blaine wrapping his arms protectively around Kurt as they drifted off.
Kurt smiled in his sleep.
.
"Thank you," Kurt said the next morning at breakfast.
Mercedes looked up, surprised. "For what."
Kurt shoved her playfully. "Just, thanks."
She winked, glancing at Blaine. "Of course."
.
Blaine returned on June 5th.
Kurt met him at the airport, and Blaine dropped his bags, pulling Kurt in for a sweeping kiss.
"Welcome back."
A/N: YES IT'S FINISHED!
Ugh, this was so fun to write. I love the Hummel-Hudsons, and don't you guys think Kurt would be comfortable calling Carole, "Mom"? Or would he not? He was already calling her a parent the day after her and Burt got married, no "my dad and step-mom" just "my parents," sooo I don't know.
And I love thinking of the kids when they're older. And Wes and David FTW! I really want them to be tight with ND. And I also want David and Mercedes to date as you can tell. Ha, all my favorable endgame ships are here.
Also, I love Chase. And I'm going to keep writing in this universe just so I can keep writing him.
And that thing with Puck and Finn eating ice cream- yeah, that I totally witnessed that with two of the guys I met at camp. We took pictures and everything. It was hilarious. The seriously started shivering because it made them so cold. Not to menion it had just been raining.
So, uh, yeah. Please review. (:
OH. And I'm sorry for not replying to all the reviews. I get lazy and busy sometimes. So, THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone that's reviewed the last few stories I've posted. They were all amazing and made me so unbelievably happy. I'll try to do better at replying in the future.