Pairing: Sheamus x Randy (Shandy); Wade x Randy (Rade)

My grammar sucks (punctuation and run-ons mainly) I apologize for grammar mistakes in advance.

Rated M for language

This first chapter is an entry in Randy's journal mainly. He's looking back in the past and telling his story for whoever might end up with his journal one day. I think I might do different journal entries throughout the story but idk yet. Anyways the first journal entry is just the background of Randy's life and childhood. You can skip it if you like, but backgrounds do have a big part in stories, js. I know it might start getting boring but the background is important dammit! Well not really but it's good to know these kinds of things. The story of Stephen and Randy will start at the end of this chapter. Honestly didn't get anywhere with that yet tho. Next chapter coming soon.

Disclaimer: I dont own any of these characters involved with this story, even tho I wish I did...

ENJOY!

Chapter 1: Randy's POV (Journal Entry #1)

I always wondered what my life would be like if I wasn't born to such a dysfunctional family. Would I be any different from I am now. Would I be a jock? Would I be popular? Would I have friends? Would I be invited to parties? I constantly ask myself questions like this every day because honestly, I don't like being me.

I grew up in a family that didn't get along. My mom and dad always fought and my dad would constantly abuse my mom. I tried as best as I could to protect her. I took hits to the face, kicks to the stomach, even being burned with cigarettes. But in the end my mom left me all alone with this man, my father, Hunter Hearst Helmsley. I despise my mom for leaving and not taking me with her. Why couldn't I go? I did so much to protect her, I loved her so much, and yet she didn't do a thing to protect me. Did she even care about me or was I just a shield to her. I feel as though I was nothing but a barrier to protect her from my father's drunken rage. Now that my mom is gone he takes everything out on me, because I look just like her.

I also have cousins that live right next door to me, John and Dave. They lived with my uncle Shawn, their father, and their mother passed when they were very young. Dave and John were both very tough guys. They were built very well and both were jocks, the only difference between the two were their personalities. John was a bully and he would constantly chase any friends I had away. He would tell me that no one likes me and that the only one who would want to hang out with me is John himself. He said I'm lucky that he's even doing that much for me. Hello John, I don't have to cook for you. You know that right, asshole? One day I might just slip something into your food if you keep treating me like shit. Excuse me, I'm angry just thinking about it, now back to my story. I believed the words he said for some time but Dave would always console me and tell me that I was a great person and that he is always happy to chill with me. I often took refuge in Dave's room when my dad would come home drunk, which was basically every night btw. He always would clean up my wounds and let me sleep with him in his bed until morning. I really like Dave but like my dad, when he is angry he gets abusive. He beat me up a few times and told me I was a punk that would never amount to anything. Wayel, I forgave him because well, I know he loves me. He always apologizes in the end too. Well anyway, these two basically lived by themselves and you could say that I lived there too since I was always there overnight.

Uncle Shawn was a professional wrestler and he was never home. Uncle Shawn often sent me funds in my secret bank account. If my dad found out about it we wouldn't had been able to eat let alone pay bills. With those funds I usually bought food to cook for all four of us and paid the bills. Uncle Shawn was a great man. He knew how my dad treated me and he said he was retiring soon and he would take me in. He said we would move away from that neighborhood and into a bigger house away from my father and that I just need to endure as much as I could. I did exactly that, but one day he was coming home for Christmas vacation and he got into a plane crash. He passed away. That man was like a father to me and like any son would, I cried. That was the only time me and John actually bonded. He knew how his dad felt about me and he knew how I felt about him. We felt like father and son. I went into depression for a few months and surprisingly John was the one who pulled me out of it, of course with some help from Dave. My dad also mellowed down a bit after the accident, after all it was his brother. I cried on his shoulder and he cried on mine. But months later, when things went back to normal, he started beating me again.

I was 16 at the time and I decided to get emancipated since there was no reason for me to endure that abuse anymore. I was granted emancipation because of the big sum of money my uncle Shawn left me but I was told I would have to find a job before it was final. I found a job at a local convenience store and made minimum wage. Luckily, I also found an apartment two blocks down. Dave and John also wanted to move with me because, well, someone had to cook for them, so we got a 3 bedroom apartment. They didn't sell the house though because of all the memories that took place there. So we all got jobs, even though none of us really needed it with all the millions that was left to us, and we all chipped in for rent and food. John worked at the gym and Dave worked at a hardware store. I'm lol'ing at how funny Dave's face was when he didn't get the job at the gym. Ahahaha OMG. It was funny until he punched me in the jaw telling me it wasn't funny. Then John, like the asshole he is, punched me too and laughed telling me to not laugh at his brother. Fucker, you just wanted to hit me. I cant even take you serious when you're laughing at me while your frickin hitting me. Are you a sadist or something? I'm guessing yes on that one.

Anyways, we were going fine with our lives until John decided he was horny and tried to rape me. Uhhh, you are my cousin John, I'm not into that. Anyways, Dave came to the rescue and for some reason I got scolded? Still confused til this day on that one. I was told to stop walking around flaunting my body, but well, we're all men here. I'm sorry, I didn't know my body was appealing to straight men. So yea, I had to start wearing t-shirts and basketball shorts around the place, so I didnt get assaulted again. Ummm, I'm the type that likes to walk around naked, it was not comfortable to me in the least. If I could, I would be a nudist. Things were pretty awkward for a while, and I tried to avoid John at all costs, but in the end, we lived in the same house and we constantly ran in to each other. One day he came in my room and told me that he was drunk and horny and we shouldn't let what happened effect our relationship. Well, ummmm, that just sounds so wrong to me. Our "relationship" wasn't good in the first place anyway. I agreed with him and I stood there waiting for his apology. Never got one. Seriously? He can't even apologize for almost sexually assaulting his baby cousin? Well needless to say, we got over it, but that didn't change the fact that I liked him less and less as the days went by. Instead of awkward, things just went back to normal, which was basically John verbally and emotionally abusing me on a daily basis.

Well, everything was good, or shall I just say normal, until two years later John got hit by a car, it was a drunk driver. I cried when I heard and it honestly shocked me. Me and John don't exactly get along so imagine my surprise when I once again went into a depression. I didn't slip out of it until John woke up from his coma, 4 months later. I hugged him so tight and would not let go until Dave had ripped me from him. John was shocked but well, even though he's a piece of shit and the reason that I have low self-esteem, I love him. We're very close even if we do hate each other's guts. He was more family to me than my father and mother ever was. It was then that I noticed how much John actually meant to me. Because even though he was an asshole, there is no doubt that he was always there for me. He has protected me many times from strangers and even when we were in High School no one would dare mess with me because John would have there neck, along with Dave of course. Dave says the only reason John is the way he is is because he wants to monopolize me. He said John actually talks about me all the time which is a dead giveaway for how much he cares for me. I still don't know why he would want to monopolize my time though, it's not like I'm interesting in any way. After 7 months of rehab, John decided to leave and travel for the time being. He said he wanted to live his life freely because you never know when life would smack you in the face and tell you your time is up. So he followed his father's path. He joined WWE and traveled the world, he is the most successful star of his era. Dave decided he wanted to be a MMA fighter and started training shortly after John left for WWE developmental. But me, I'm just a 21 year old boy with no friends, low self-esteem, and still trying to figure out what I want to do with my life.

Present Day:

I'm so miserable today, its not even funny. I just want to go home and sleep all day. My jaw hurts, my whole body hurts to be honest. Last night I came home a little tipsy, and well, I may or may not have broke Dave's favorite mug. Honestly its just a mug I thought, but I guess it has way more meaning to him than that. Earlier today he told me that his ex-girlfriend, that he is still madly in love with, gave him that mug. It was a nice little mug, it was black and had brass knuckles and stars all over it. It was kinda girly to me, but whatever. Anyway, when I was setting my alarm clock he came bursting into my room and asked me what the hell I just did. Me being drunk out of my mind, told him to fuck off and that I didn't do anything. He snatched the alarm clock out of my hand and threw it against the wall and asked me again what I did to his mug. Again, I told him to buzz off and cut it the fuck out because I didn't do anything. Well, I must say, I've always been pretty brave when I'm drunk because otherwise, I would never talk to Dave that way. So eventually I got a beat down, but I didn't really take in that pain. I asked him, "Is that all you got?" Bad idea, That sent him over the edge and next thing I knew it was noon. I overslept and my body felt heavy like lead so I just didn't want to do anything. I missed all four of my classes. I went to the bathroom and my face looked like crap. I had a black eye and a bruised jaw. I had bruises all over my body, gosh it hurts so much. I willed myself to come to work and now I regret it so much. I feel like I might just collapse from the pain.

"Are you alright there fella?" some pale red-headed man asked me. He had an accent which sounds kinda like… Irish?

"Yea, I'm good. Is this all?" I asked while ringing up his items. Condoms, lube, and booze. Looks like someone's gonna have a good time tonight.

"Yea, looks like you had a rough night," He said as he touched my jaw. I flinched away. Why would he just touch a random stranger like that?

"Yea, it was pretty rough," I said as I nodded. Conversation ended just like that. I'm not good with conversation, never have been and probably never will be.

He nodded his head at me as if he understood. "So yea, it was nice meeting you… Randy," He said while smiling and staring at my name tag. Well we didn't really meet; we hardly said anything to each other. I just smiled and nodded.

"Stephen," he held out his hand to me.

"What?" I said, as I stared at his hand wondering why he was holding it out towards me.

He chuckled as he pulled his hand back. "The name's Stephen. See you around?" I shrugged my shoulders. I watched as he made his way out the door. He turned and smiled at me again. I gave him some weirdly goofy smile and he laughed at me. Laughed at me, I sure know how to make myself look like an idiot. I don't know why I couldn't say something as simple as, 'Well it was nice talking to you. Hope to see you around again.' No I just shrugged my shoulders and acted as if I never had human contact before in my life.

Side Note: Hmmm, thought I wrote way more than this. Guess not. So if you like this story so far, why don't you review? Or recommend it to your friends. Either or would be awesome. Give feedback or whatevs, I totally appreciate it all.