What Changed Our Love?
Disclaimer: This has the lyrics of Mariah Carey's "I Still Believe". Anything you recognize from the Harry Potter novels belongs to J.K. Rowling.
Narcissa Malfoy walked slowly and gracefully down the staircase of her home. She wore sweeping silver robes that made her seem paler, but also more beautiful, then ever. She had become so accustomed to having guests in her home that this over-exaggerated entrance had become second nature. But the only person who saw this show of extravagance was also sweeping into the dining room, not paying any attention to her.
You look in my eyes
and I get emotional
Inside
I know it's crazy but
you still can touch my heart
He barely glanced at her when they sat at the long table together as they did every night. And those cold eyes she knew so well still showed no warmth. But still she felt a jolt in her heart, that one day he would care as he had before.
And after all this time
you'd think that I
Wouldn't feel the same
but time melts into nothing
And nothing's changed
She remembered when she was told of her betrothal to him and how gentleman he had been then. He had accepted this thing, against either of their wishes, and made it bearable. He acted as though it was his choice, to court her and she would often find him in the most unexpected places at school, to escort her, while touching her heart with kind and romantic words.
I still believe, someday you and me
will find ourselves in love again
I had a dream; someday you and me
will find ourselves in love again
As she ate the long fettuccini alfredo noodles, she thought of when they had first gone out as an engaged couple. She had eaten the spaghetti and in her nervousness managed to spill it all over herself. She was thoroughly embarrassed after this, even though a simple spell had repaired the damage.
He had gently moved his chair to be next to hers; rather than across from hers at the small table they shared. He had then given her his own fork and quickly asked for another. They then ate from the same plate of his food and that had been one of the biggest gestures she had ever remembered. He had taken on her embarrassment and helped her to lose it.
Each day of my life
I'm filled with all the joy
I could find
you know that I am not the desperate type
She had had such a hard time getting used to being engaged especially while she was till in school. Boys still constantly flirted with her and she was so used to being the object of many affections that she had never kept a constant person for more then a few months.
If there's one spark of hope left in my grasp
I'll hold it with both hands
It's worth the risk of burning
To have a second chance
But he had been so careful about things that the pressure was constantly on her to do the same. But she soon realized that the way she was treated by him was with so much more respect then any others had ever treated her with.
No, no, no, no, no, nooo I need you baby
I still believe that we can be together
Ooooohoh no no nooo
If we believe that true love never has to end
Then we must know that we will love again
She soon found he was trying so hard to be more interested in her then her appearance and for this she loved him so much. It was at this revelation that she was quite sure she would be able to love him forever. She would be able to find true love in her husband and she never thought she would be so lucky, but she had been.
Ooooohoh
I still believe, someday you and me
Will find ourselves in love again
Oh baby, yeah yeah
I had a dream, you and me
Will find ourselves in love
Again
But she remembered the day she had learnt that she was pregnant with their first child, his good and kind thoughts seemed to leave. He wasn't around her as much; he was so devoted to 'their' master. This hurt so badly, but still she hoped he would come back to be who she met him as.
(I still believe)
Oh baby I do
(Someday you and me)
Just give me one more time
When they lost that child, he blamed it on her, but she never felt he truly cared. She had become something worthy of his attention again when he didn't have an heir as he had expected to.
And love
Again
He began to romance her again and make her feel special. She didn't feel she needed to spend all day in front of the mirror to make herself pretty for him when he returned home. And soon again she was pregnant. The special moments of staring into each other's eyes and dreaming of their children stopped, because they were having one and dreams weren't needed any more, but she still dreamt.
I had a dream; someday you and me
will find ourselves in love
He had spent more time with her, during this pregnancy had romanced her more. They had discussed so long and hard about a name for their child. They had finally come upon one that would be strong and make their son such, or at least they thought.
He had left her to tend to their beautiful child, as soon as she had born him, as he became more and more devoted to their lord. And one of his favorites, soon these dreams were shattered, when the Dark Lord fell.
But she still had to become used to being alone, because he was always away on matters of making a good name for himself, and repairing his name in the wizarding world. It was soon repaired, but to be maintained she was still left alone with their young son.
Draco soon grew up and went off to school leaving her alone entirely, but Lucius always made a point of being around for at least a meal a day. And so she looked forward to meals, because at least then she wasn't so alone.
And she still had dreams about being able to break down his wall and swim in his eyes again. But she knew that these weren't realistic and it would never be the same. But still she dreamed of when he had held her and whispered sweet things in her ears; it was all left of good in her world.
The memories and dreams, because life was now just that and being an empty hearted hostess, whom glided down staircases and looked gorgeous and jealousy-worthy. She had once again began obsessed with her reflection, but not because of vanity, rather because her reflection was all her company.
That and the empty eyes, that were at least masked to shower love upon her. But none of these things were enough, not any more, so her dreams of love were her companions. Dreams of the past and wishes for the future, so brittle and small, but still there. Without such things as dreams, life in all its splendor would be unbearable to the point of death.
And so that night she lay in bed thinking of memories of the past, of when she felt loved and sobbed silently into her pillow, crying herself to sleep as she often did. But even in her dreams, he invaded her and she wished silently to feel loved again.
Again
