Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters , settings, etc involving Voltron: Defender of the Universe. These stories are for entertainment purposes only and are to be viewed as parodies

The Adventures of Elevator Lance:

Consider the Alternatives: Part III

Lance woke up with his head pounding. As his eyes adjusted to the bright light he realized he wasn't in his own room.

"Where am I?" he asked.

"You're in the Medical Wing," Keith answered.

"Why am I here this time?"

"Because you did the funniest thing I had ever seen," Pidge said with a grin.

"What happened?," Lance asked as he painfully sat up. "The last thing I remember was being shot at by alternate versions of us and then diving through the portal in the elevator."

Keith, Allura, Hunk, and Pidge all stood there, looking at each other bewildered.

"What are you talking about?" asked Hunk.

"You know, Haggar interrupted Keith and Allura's wedding and I chased them through a portal in the elevator. The portal led to an alternate universe."

"We aren't getting married!" Keith and Allura shouted simultaneously.

"We're not even dating," Allura explained.

"But I remember, you were coming down the aisle and Haggar appeared and…" Lance stopped and held his head. "I'm so confused."

"Let me tell you what happened," Pidge said. "We were all in the Great Dining Hall celebrating the birth of Cheddar's son and you had way too much to drink. Nanny came into the hall with a walking cane because she had dropped a big pot on her foot earlier and you mistook her for Haggar."

"You jumped up from the table and tackled her," Hunk said with a chuckle.

Allura placed her hand on Lance's shoulder. "You scared the poor woman half to death."

"Once she got over that…she was MAD!" Pidge added.

"What happened next?" asked Lance.

"Well, two guards came in and you thought they were Doom soldiers. So you took off down the hall," Keith explained.

"It was hilarious," Pidge stated. "You were stumbling down the hall, trying to run. You knocked over three trash cans, five of those sand filled ash trays, some French guy with a poodle and a little old lady waiting for the bus."

Lance grimmaced. "I'm afraid to ask what happened next."

"Fearing for your life, you ran to the nearest elevator," Allura told him.

"More like dove for the nearest elevator," Pidge smirked. "You plowed head first right into the back of it."

"You got a nice concussion from it. That's why you're here," Keith finished.

"Boy, I've had some embarrassing adventures before, but this one takes the cake."

"With any luck, we'll win the million dollar grand prize," Pidge said, rubbing his hands together.

"Huh?"

"I sent the security cam footage too the Galaxy's Funniest Home Videos show," Pidge said with an evil grin.

"Pidge, when I get out of this bed, I'm going to strangle you."

Lance was released from the Medical Wing the following day and was given specific instructions to take it easy for a few days.

Lance rode the elevator from the Medical Wing up to his quarters. Half way up it stops to let on a passenger.

Nanny entered the elevator and a cruel grin crosses her face. "Zo, I look like Haggar huh? To you, I look like an old vitch?" She rolled up her sleeves.

"Look…Nanny…I was drunk, I didn't know what I was doing…" Lance said followed by a gulp.

"I've heard dat von before."

The elevator doors closed as Nanny closed in on Lance.