And as always: Please R&R!
I Can't Make You Love Me
Amidala walked into her quarters after a long Senate
meeting. She slipped off her shoes and began to run a bath. She hurt all
over but her feet and back ached most of all. She needed to relax. Shedding
her clothes she slowly eased herself into the bathtub and sighed. 'I really
needed this...' she thought as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath
of the lilac scented bubbles.
She opened her eyes again and looked at her wall
chrono. 'Three days already...' she thought to herself sadly.'Three days
and Anakin has barely uttered a word to me. Why is he being so cold? What
happened to the little boy I used to know? My loving little Ani...'
She shut her eyes again to stop the tears from
flowing down her face but it was no use. They ran freely down her warm
cheeks. Standing up, she dried herself off and pulled her pale blue night
gown over her. She took a look in the mirror and dried her now tear stained
face. 'What did I expect anyway? For him to fall head over heals like he
did when he was 9?' she laughed bitterly at herself. 'Of course you want
him to like you. Maybe even love you. You're angry that he hasn't shown
any signs of affection..' 'Oh shut up!' 'See I'm right. You are mad. You
hoped he'd still had that crush, don't you? Don't you!?'
"STOP IT!" Amidala yelled outloud. She turned off
her light and pulled down the covers of her bed. "I can't belive I just
had a fight with myself. I'm not going crazy...I'm not going crazy..."
she repeated as she shifted uncomfortably in her large bed.
Turn down the lights,
Turn down the bed.
Turn down these voices,
Inside my head.
As she lay in bed looking up at the ceiling, she
thought of what it would be like if Anakin still had feelings for her.
She craved his every touch and embrace. She lay there daydreaming of him
sharing the bed with her, but soon blushed at the thought of what that
would entail.
Lay down with me.
Tell me no lies.
Just hold me close,
Don't patronize.
Don't patronize, me.
She threw the covers off her and wrapped her white
robe around her. She walked to her balcony and leaned on the railing overlooking
the central courtyard. She looked at how beautiful the roses looked at
night with the moonlight iluminating their petals. Suddenly she heard two
voices below her. Looking down she saw too young lovers taking a walk.
The man spoke in low, hushed tones and whispered into his lover's ear.
He brushed a stray hair from her face and kissed her cheek. She smiled
warmly at him and whispered into his ear. Amidala lowered her head in pain
and saddness, silently wishing that someday she would be that woman, and
Anakin would be that man.
'Cus I can't make you love me,
If you don't.
You can't make your heart feel,
Something it won't.
Here in the dark,
In these fine hours,
I will lay down my heart,
I'll feel the powers,
But you won't.
No, you won't.
'Cus I can't make you love me,
If you don't.
She walked back into her room and thought back
to when she had first seen Obi-Wan and Anakin arrive in the main hanger,
only three short days ago. Anakin was tall, muscular and handsome. She
ran to hugged Obi-Wan first and he smiled widely at her. She then
turned to Anakin and hugged him as well. As she thought of it now, she
realized that he hadn't hugged her back. His arms were limp around her
waist. Sitting on her bed again she squeezed her eyes shut in a vain attempt
to stop the burning tears from falling.
I'll close my eyes,
And I will see,
The love you don't feel
When you're holding me.
Morning will come,
I'll do what's right,
Just give me till then,
To give up this fight.
And I will give up this fight.
Biting her lip she threw down her robe and crawled
back into her bed. She lay there with her head on the pillow, sobbing and
shaking.
"Why don't you love me, Ani? Why....?" she whispered
before falling asleep.
Cuz I can't make you love me,
If you don't.
You can't make your heart feel,
Something it won't.
Here in the dark,
In these fine hours,
I will lay down my heart,
I'll feel the powers,
But you won't.
No, you won't.
Cuz I can't make you love me,
If you don't.....
- End -
Ok, I know that wasn't my usual writting style.
I know I've betrayed some of you by writting a sad piece like this, (since
I usually write happy ones..) but I can't help it. I'm in a bad/depressed
mood and it shows in my writing. Sorry! Please R&R! :)
