Title: Impulse
Rating: T
Pairing: Tiger/Bunny
Summary: Because of an invasion of cockroaches, Kotetsu calls in an exterminator. Unfortunately, he has to spend the night elsewhere... But the only one who's even vaguely willing to let him crash with them... is Barnaby. Oh shit.
PRETEND THIS IS BEFORE THE BABYSITTING EPISODE KAYKAY THANKS
~~~\0/~~~
"Dammit! Are you sure?" Kotetsu pleaded, trying to look pitiful. "Please, no one else will even consider it..."
"Nope!" Fire Emblem cut him off, crossing his arms into an X. "Not even I will allow it. Face it, Tiger-kun; you mean trouble. Now, good night, dear." Without a single glance back, he turned and walked away, leaving Kotetsu to stare after him in disbelief.
"...Well, SHIT!" He exploded, crossing his arms over his chest and pouting (although he liked to think of it as a "manly expression of disappointment"). "Why? I'm not THAT bad, am I? Well, I guess it is weird that ma wouldn't let me crash with her and Kaede..." he sighed and scratched the back of his head, at a loss. "I can't even afford a motel room... shit, this is bad."
"What is?"
Kotetsu stiffened, his face becoming utterly blank, as he turned very, very slowly.
Barnaby smirked to himself. "What's bad? Our scores? I'll admit, they're pretty dismal, but you have only yourself to blame."
"I wasn't talking about our scores," Kotetsu snapped, "So keep your damn rabbit-nose out of it, lil' Bunny."
Barnaby's smirk slipped. "I've told you time and time again, DON'T call me Bunny."
"Yeah, well, get used to it, I'll never stop." Kotetsu pulled a face and turned away sharply, headed for the nearest exercise machine. Barnaby's expression remained cloudy, but he did not reply. When Kotetsu refused to further acknowledge his existence, he sighed quietly and sat down on a nearby bench, just watching as his partner worked out like a man possessed.
"...it's those damn roaches that took over," Kotetsu grunted suddenly, between reps. "The exterminator said I'd have to wait a few days for it to be safe to go back in, two at the least. Nobody will let me crash with them. Apparently I'm just a catalyst for bad luck."
As he said this, something let out a resounding CRACK!, and the weights on his machine fell with dull thuds to the floor, cracking it.
He and Barnaby sat in stunned silence for a moment.
"...GOD DAMMIT ALL!" Kotetsu roared, leaping to his feet and clutching his temples, "WHY WHY WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN TO ME? SHIT!" he kicked the machine, and yelped as his foot bounced off, his toes throbbing in pain.
Barnaby suppressed a smile.
"I see you smirking, dammit! Spit it out, Bunny, or I'll punch you in the goddamn pretty-boy nose!" Kotetsu snarled, brandishing his fist under the before mentioned bodily orifice. Barnaby sighed and pushed Kotetsu away, not bothering to hide his sly smile anymore.
"I was just thinking that saying "nobody" is a bit pessimistic. What if I told you that you can crash with me?"
"Huh?" Kotetsu stared at him, utterly dumbfounded. "Um... I would ask if you're feeling okay. Unless you've forgotten, we're kind of rivals..."
"No." Barnaby raised one finger to cut him off. "We are partners, albeit reluctant partners. Thus, if it became known that we help each other, then it will raise our popularity, and perhaps we will raise our points count. You are, though I'm quite aware that you deny it, a people-pleaser. Isn't that why you want to help people?"
Kotetsu continued staring blankly. "...Can we go back to the part where I ask if you're feeling okay?" he asked weakly. "Honestly, I'd rather not stay with you... I'd probably end up going crazy..."
"Yes, and I'd end up killing you."
"HEY! I'm not that bad!"
"Yes, you are." Barnaby stood and adjusted the towel around his neck. "I promise I won't kill you before the ten-minute mark. After that, you had better be on your best behavior. See you downstairs." Leaving Kotetsu gaping after him, he trotted away, surprising himself with a small smile that was in no way cynical or condescending.
Kotetsu scratched the back of his head again, rubbed his chin, pouted, then sighed and gave in. "Well... I guess it's my funeral." he muttered, and followed his (albeit reluctant) partner.
~~~\0/~~~
"Whoa! You live HERE?"
Barnaby raised an eyebrow. "Why the tone of surprise, old man?"
Kotetsu gaped at the giant screen, the fancy gadgets, the sparse furnishings, and the large expanse of glass that showed a spectacular view of the city, ablaze with light. "It's... this is cool." he got out at last, unable to tear his eyes away from that view. He found himself walking towards it as if in a trance. "Wow, I can even see ma's house from here..."
Barnaby looked down and didn't comment. It was hard to see in the faint light, but his face might have reddened, and the corners of his mouth might have turned up. Maybe.
"Oy. You got any beer, Bunny? Or are you still underage?"
The smile might have vanished, and the probability of Barnaby's blushing fell to zero. "I've only got Budweiser." he replied coldly, "Is that acceptable?"
"Yeah, yeah, sure." Kotetsu dragged his gaze from the window and found that he was grinning. Strangely, he didn't care. He hadn't had a lot to smile about lately. "Damn, Bunny, if you don't kick me out I might just stay forever. This is a cool pad."
Barnaby didn't meet his eyes. Opening his mini-fridge, he removed two cans of Bud and tossed one to Kotetsu, who caught it deftly and snapped it open without a pause, ignoring Barnaby's slight frown.
"Ever heard of basic manners?" he muttered, but Kotetsu was gulping the Bud down and didn't seem to hear him. Sighing silently, he crossed to the chair in front of the screen and shut down several tabs on his laptop, wondering nervously if Kotetsu had seen them. He didn't think so... the older man was now examining the TV screen, making small noises of approval at it.
"What channels do you get?" he asked, turning to Barnaby with a smile still on his face. Barnaby wordlessly held out the remote and tried not to look too long at his partner's expression. "Any other chairs in this place than that?"
"No. There are a couple extra pillows in the closet."
"Aww, shit! You mean I gotta sit on the floor like a little kid? Fuck that!" Kotetsu dove at Barnaby, who, startled by the sudden attack, just barely got his arms up before Kotetsu popped him out of the chair and settled himself in his stead, grinning wickedly. Barnaby stared up at him from the floor, speechless.
"This is a very comfy chair." Kotetsu settled back in it. "Thanks for being such a good host, lil' Bunny."
A frown creased his forehead, but Barnaby held his tongue, climbing to his feet and stalking to the closet, tugging it violently open as his partner turned on the TV and whooped at the quality, flipping channels madly. "Aww, hell yes! Oy, Bunny! Can we exchange houses?" he crowed, finally settling on a law enforcement drama, "Or even just TV's?"
"No." Barnaby threw a small pile of pillows and cushions down and pointed at them. "You will sit here or I will personally cut your throat."
"Ah!" Kotetsu raised a finger. "It hasn't been ten minutes yet. You can't go killing me before the time limit." He grinned again, and Barnaby stomped off, berating himself for being so easily mollified.
As for Kotetsu, he didn't even notice his partner's strange behavior and simply watched avidly, staring out the window on the commercial breaks. At one point he noticed the laptop beside him, but he didn't really give it much thought. When he got thirsty, he fetched himself another beer and settled, curled up like a little kid, in the chair.
Barnaby fetched the laptop at one point and disappeared into the bedroom. Kotetsu gave him a glance as he left, but turned back to reveling in his surroundings. 'You know... this is a great place. Why doesn't he ever have parties or invite people over? Anyone would be happy to be here... yet he's always so lonely-looking. I wonder...
'Ha! Suckers! Never fight the law! You'll only get hurt!'
~~~\0/~~~
At eleven o'clock, Barnaby closed down his laptop and yawned. Glancing towards Kotetsu as he emerged from his bedroom, he noticed that he wasn't moving. Frowning, he brushed his bangs away from his eyes, stretched, and meandered over to ask if the older man was tired.
Kotetsu was curled up as tightly as possible, asleep.
Barnaby stared down at him for a long moment. Then, very gently, he eased his partner out of the chair and into his arms, and carried him to the pile of pillows, where he immediately sprawled and began to snore. Hesitatingly, Barnaby knelt beside him.
He looked much more peaceful and happy, asleep. He didn't look so old, either. His hat had fallen off, and, feeling a bit self-conscious (what if he woke up? What if he demanded to know what he was doing?), Barnaby replaced it, tugging it gently so that it wouldn't fall off again. Kotetsu grumbled and rolled onto his back, still snoring. Barnaby bit his lip, hit by a sudden impulse.
'He'd kill me. If he woke up, he would kill me dead. But... but if he didn't wake up...'
To stall, he tentatively brushed the hair from Kotetsu's face. He'd stopped snoring, but his breathing was still deep and slow, and now that he was in a different position, he looked grave. Not disapproving, exactly... but it strengthened Barnaby's resolve to think that Kotetsu would disapprove of what he was about to do.
Bending down very slowly, Barnaby laid a gentle kiss on his lips.
"Nnnrgh...!" Kotetsu mumbled in his sleep, shifting slightly. Barnaby sat up sharply, watching him intently for any sign of wakefulness. When he saw none, emboldened by his success, he bent down again and repeated the process, feeling a little glow of happiness when Kotetsu only sighed this time, mouth falling open a little more as he slept. It was very tempting to deepen the kiss, maybe tongue him a little... but no. Barnaby pulled back reluctantly, surprised to find himself short of breath, while his face felt like it was burning from within as his heart pounded excitedly.
Kotetsu made another small noise and turned onto his side, facing him, now frowning slightly. Barnaby knew it was only that he was dreaming... it was only coincidence, of course Kotetsu couldn't approve of this, he was asleep, he wasn't really thinking... but he shifted and lay down beside Kotetsu, stroking the older man's waist. The frown began to dissolve from his face, and Barnaby realized he was smiling, with relief, with happiness, with a tenderness that startled him. He hadn't thought... he'd wanted to believe it wasn't... he didn't want to be...
On another impulse, he scooted closer and kissed him again, firmly.
Unfortunately, he did so at the exact moment that Kotetsu woke up.
His first sign that something was off was when the man in his arms stiffened. His second was when Kotetsu sat up, violently, and he rolled onto his back, staring up at his partner.
"Um..." he got out with difficulty.
"What- What the hell-" Kotetsu spluttered, returning his stare. "What were you DOING?"
"...kissing you?"
"Well, I realize THAT!" He roared, scrambling to his feet, which promptly got tangled in the pillows. With a yelp, he fell, directly across Barnaby, who grunted in surprise and automatically put out a hand to help Kotetsu up. The older man knocked his hand aside and dragged himself up, clutching the back of the chair for support.
Barnaby stood more slowly, brushing off his bruised tailbone gingerly. "Ah... um... did... did you... not like it?" he asked, very quietly, refusing to meet Kotetsu's eyes. He was afraid of what he would see.
Kotetsu, meanwhile, was struggling between being absolutely horrified and disgusted, and leaping across the small distance between them and violently kissing Barnaby back. He was on the verge of doing so when he remembered where he was, who they both were, and what they would most likely do if they started making out. The very thought checked him. What would ma think? What would Kaede say?
He gulped. "Um. Um. Um. I. I don't know. I. I guess. It was okay." he mumbled, looking at the floor. "Just. It freaked me out. Because. You know. I was asleep and all."
"But you're adorable when you're asleep."
That quiet murmur made Kotetsu blush furiously. "Y-yeah, right," he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck, "Y-you're just saying that to be nice..."
"No." Barnaby took a few steps forward. "I mean it." He took a few more. "You are extremely adorable." He reached out, cupped Kotetsu's face in his hands, and kissed him again, trying to be very gentle and not startle him again.
Kotetsu let out a desperate groan that sounded like "Fuck it all!" and wrapped his arms around Barnaby, kissing back viciously. Barnaby gasped, then responded with equal force.
They were halfway undressed and Kotetsu had pinned Barnaby to the bed when they broke apart for a moment. "M-maybe... we shouldn't..." Kotetsu began uncomfortably, "I mean, we're both guys, a-and my daughter... and it'll be weird, at work... maybe it'd be better if we..."
Barnaby bit his lip and refused to meet his eyes, trying to think. "Well... we don't have to tell. And it will only be weird if we let it. So... it doesn't really matter."
Neither spoke for a while. Kotetsu let go of Barnaby's wrists and fell over next to him, resting his head on the younger's shoulder. Barnaby might have blushed; it was hard to tell in the uncertain light, what with the moon on the wane and the TV flashing muted colors over them both from the sliver of the half-open door.
"...can I stay for a few weeks?" Kotetsu mumbled. "I... don't really like my place anyway. I'd like to find a new one."
Barnaby wove his fingers with Kotetsu's, smiling shyly. "You can stay as long as you like."
"Thanks, Bunny."
"Don't mention it, Tiger."
~~~\0/~~~
What is this madness? A Tiger and Bunny fanfic? WHAT?
Yes, it's true. XD They're so adorable... I can just see them now, as Kaede's two daddies! Sorry, Tomoe...
LOLOLOLOL I should be working on my KakaNaru stuff. But I can't. I'm in love with these two. They're just... ohgodsocutetogezzer WHEN WILL HE GODDAMN REMEMBER HIS TIGEY-WIGEY. (Also: Bunny is only Barnaby in the fanfics. Everywhere else, he's Bun-Bun the Uke. XD)
~*the world loves you!*~