Hi :)
This is my first The Bill story on FanFiction; I've just been looking through my old folders and found literally hundreds of old stories from the times when it was my favourite programme! Aww, I miss it...
Anyway, at this point, I was very young and going through a script phase, so a) the story is a bit rubbish and b) it's...err...a script. So just tell me what you think, I guess – there's plenty more if anyone wants some! xx
Sam: Right, can you lot shut up and listen? Please. For one minute? Stevie!
Stevie: Gov?
Sam: Shut up and listen!
Stevie: Sorry gov, I was just telling Max and Mickey about the time when I went to this nightclub and there was...
Sam: Stevie, I do not need to hear anything of your unsophisticated life.
Stevie: That's not nice, gov.
Sam: Not nice, it may be, Stevie, but it's true.
Stevie: You're saying I'm unsophisticated?
Sam: Not you personally, but your love interests, your highly inappropriate jokes, your timing for shifts, your friends, y...
Stevie: That's not fair. You are insulting me, you know that? All that stuff you are saying, that is me, isn't it! Just because you choose to go out with one of your colleagues and flirt with him at every moment possible and cry when he leaves, then dump him, then go up to acting boss, then go back down 'cos you're aren't good enough, then sulk when Neil gets the job, then be very happy when you get the job because Jack needs someone else, then think you can boss everyone about, and be horrible to us, but doesn't work, does it?
Max: Stevie, that has got to be the longest sentence ever!
Sam: How...?
Stevie: How do I know? 'Cos I'm not thick like you, Gov. You might be really good at types of rapists and bossing people around, but you haven't got a clue how to socialise, have you? I made friends the moment I got here, Gov, you still haven't got any! People have told me about you. From what I can gather, you're not nice.
Sam: You're a bitch!
Stevie: Ouch! Stop it! Ow!
Max: Wow, you two, calm down.
Mickey: Gov! Leave her alone!
Jack: Oi! What is going on here? Mickey, Max?
Mickey: Well, Gov, it's a long story, but Gov insulted Stevie, so Stevie insulted her, and then Gov hit her. A few times.
Jack: Sam, Stevie, my office now. The rest of you get on with your work!
XxXxX
Jack: Can you two explain why you were fighting, girls? Or has Stevie got slap marks across her face for no reason?
Stevie: It's nothing, Gov. It just proves what I said, Gov, doesn't it?
Sam: You...!
Jack: Don't you dare touch her, Sam! Stevie, tell me what happened.
Stevie: I was talking to Max and Mickey and Gov comes in and starts shouting at us and I started to tell her what I was telling them and she told me she didn't want to here anything about my unsophisticated life, then she said not me personally but my jokes and my love and my friends and my punctuality to work, she doesn't even have any friends, so then I told her what I thought of her.
Jack: Breathe, Stevie, and then tell me what you thought of her.
Stevie: I told her that wasn't fair then I told her she flirted with colleagues, the cried then dumped him, then played acting boss, then went down when you thought she wasn't good enough and you got Neil and then she went up again because you needed another Gov and she thinks she can be horrible to us and boss us around but it doesn't work and I told her I wasn't thick like her she knows all about different rapists and all that and bossing us around but she doesn't know how to socialise and I made friends when I got here and she hasn't got any and people have told me all about her and then she went mad and slapped me and it hurts and she swore!
Jack: Stevie, I said breathe! That was a long sentence. Right, Sam. Is this true?
Sam: Some of it.
Jack: No, I don't mean the bits about your life, I mean that you started it and you slapped her.
Sam: Yes.
Jack: Sam, I'm ashamed of you. Seen as how the majority of what Stevie has said is nearly correct, if a little exaggerated, you should not have slapped her! Stevie, go to FME, get that cleaned up, I need a word with Sam. Keep away from her for the rest of the day, alright?
Stevie: Yes gov.
XxXxX
Jack: Sam.
Sam: Jack.
Jack: I don't really know what to say to you, Sam. Apart from you are whatever anyone calls you for the rest of the day when they see Stevie's face. It is not fair, Sam. I'm ashamed of you, I thought I could trust you to be a DI, obviously not, if you want to get angry at someone, get angry at me, then I can be sure I'll win. Leave Stevie alone or else.
Sam: Are you threatening me?
Jack: How am I threatening you?
Sam: Leave her alone or else.
Jack: Oh, that, yes, I am. Goodbye, Sam. Close the d... I didn't mean slam it!
XxXxX