Nature vs. Nurture
"I could be cold. I could be ruthless. I could be weak. I could be senseless. You know I could be just like you." Three Days Grace Just Like You
Within the first week after Cassidy's death Dick had covered every mirror in the house. At first it had happened gradually one here or there until finally he'd gotten so disgusted he hid them all from view in less than an hour. Before "The Accident" he'd enjoyed his appearance. It was almost second nature as he walked past a reflective window to glance at himself to make sure his hair looked just windblown enough to attract the ladies. Now all he saw was his brother staring back at him.
No one would have guessed that the young Casablancas brothers had once looked so alike they were often confused. His own grandmother would sit them down next to each other and point out the similarities. His mother had auditioned them for every sitcom role she could find that needed cute twins, and Dick Sr. hadn't even bothered to learn the difference between his own sons.
Luckily, as they grew up they developed in completely different directions. Dick noticed now that the exact moment when Cassidy began turning into a shy school nerd was when his father had signed him up for baseball instead of surfing. So as Cassidy's hair grew darker he became more shut off from the world just as Dick's bleach blond locks jump started his social life. Dick started failing school around the time his chin and nose became more defined while his brother, whose face always retained the shadow of youth, kept his perfect grades.
One thing had always remained the same though even through the years. They had always had the same eyes. So as he walked past the mirror in the front hall of his house after he found his way home from the Neptune Grand, he saw not himself but his brother's cold dark pain-filled eyes.
It had made him sick
They were so much alike before circumstances had transformed them that Dick couldn't help thinking if he had been signed up for baseball instead...The haunted look he now saw in his own reflection almost seemed to taunt him. As if it were trying to prove that had it been him he would have been capable of murder and rape. It had been he who put Veronica in the room in the first place right? Had he been left alone in the room with her would he have done the same thing? Would he have no regrets as he watched Veronica crying over her lost innocence?
As much as he tried to convince himself that he wasn't like his brother, his dreams told him differently. He had awoke screaming on more than one occasion as visions of himself on the ledge of a building flashed in his mind.
If it was me I wouldn't have let it happen. I would have told someone if it did. I would never be desperate enough to rape an unconscious girl. I wouldn't kill to hide a secret. I would never commit suicide.
And right before he drifted off, his mind running in circles, his last thought was: Please don't let me end up like him.