-SoKawaii

Act I
Resignation Notice

"Yuuki!"

"Zero?" Her large and glassy russet eyes shot back to mine in curiosity, drying her wet hair with the plush yellow towel in the headmasters home.

I rasped for breath, holding my face as I tried to steady my ragged breathing. 'Concentrate…' I mentally forced, focusing on my uneasy breathing in an attempt to cool my boiling blood.

"What's the matter?" She held the towel in her lap, looking over her shoulder with concern written across her face - effortlessly done.

I swallowed my detest, lunging from the couch, wrapping my arms tightly around the frozen girl, "Yuuki!" I shuttered into the subtly floral scent of her auburn chocolaty hair. "You're still alive." I murmured, tightening my grip around the girl as I felt my body begin to lock—slowly strangling.

"Zero…" She gasped beneath my tightening rigid embrace.

"I thought I brutally murdered you…!" I grasped her tightly beneath my clutch. She soon began to squirm uncomfortably.

"You're hurting me, Zero…!" She struggled, writhing in my grasp though I ignored, clinging to her tightly as I counted the seconds in my head. "Zero!" She shoved away, placing her delicate palm against my chest with a look of deep worry and concern in her glistening crimson-chocolate eyes. "Are you okay?" She gently held my face, cupping my cheeks as her distressed saddened eyes connected with mine.

I stared… unable to move. Her eyes swallowed me whole, drowning me in the swimming orbs of such effortless emotion. 'She looks so… real.' I watched as her eyes grew the slightest heavier in sadness, furrowing her brows the slightest moe. Her eyes quivered with a frown tugging her softer lips while searching my eyes imploringly.

Her whisper faintly slipped between her motionless lips, eyes now frantic and pleading. "Zero." Her lips remained motionless, cupping my face with firmer fingers. "Say something…" She whispered, eyes wide and desperate in pain. My heart began to accelerate as my body tightened beneath her. My eyes widened, panicked and unsure. My grip became shaky and rigid, more so forced. My jaw locked, synching my clenched jaw even tighter as I heard a faint crack…

"Cut!"

My eyes shot open listening to the roar coming from the cameraman, followed by the swivel of a cap to a suddenly broken bottle. "Damn it!" I cursed through clenched teeth, tearing from Yuuki's softer embrace.

"Zero, what's wrong?" The director, Matsuri Hino herself, questioned above the other yelling of crew. This was the fourth time we'd shot this scene, and I still couldn't finish it! "Do you need a break, or maybe a moment to get a drink, or maybe a moment clear your head?' Matsuri questioned, sadness visible in her dark heavy eyes.

I caught myself staring, suddenly embarrassed for my irrational behavior… and for the disappointment I'd become. I shoved from the set with little less than a grunt, also shoving through the doors of the studio despite the yelling of the camera crew, demanding I return to the set immediately. I didn't care about the strict time limits, contracts, benefits, fame, or even the fortune though I needed this job.

More importantly: I needed to take Matsuri's advice – clearing my head.

"Zero, wait!"

I froze, just as I always did… My back went rigid. My heart went cold. My balled fist shivered.

"Yuki," I breathed icily, slowly turning back to the young successful actress, "We're not in the set. There's no reason to act like you care anymore."

She stared blankly at me with a lost expression. Finally my words registered and she averted her gaze to the asphalt ground of the parking lot, balling her fist at her side as she clenched her teeth. She visibly bit back tears in her sorrowful chocolate eyes, but she was paid to do that.

It wasn't real.

Nothing about her was ever real. Though her speechlessness seemed real enough to a fool, which I had been—but not anymore. Still, no words would form from her trembling twisted lips. "I'm sorry, Zero, but it's not an act!" Her tone was soft and cracking. "I never knew this would happen! I don't agree with what's happened, but there's nothing I can do to change things. I do care for you, Zero. I care about both of you…"

I shook my head, unable to listen to her wallowing lies. 'It's always an act with you.' I quickly walked to my car, careless to my name that she'd called on final time.

'That's all this has ever been… a mere forbidden act.'

Forbidden Act

"Zero? Is that you?" I let my body fall against the couch, sinking further into the cluttered black leather. Next to me was an assortment of cooking books, a blanket with some scattered comics, and a handful of celebrity magazines… all with my face and the other cast of characters I worked with.

"Why are you home so early, big brother?" Ichiru smiled, peeking around the corner in the hall. "What's wrong?" He suddenly questioned in alarm with frantic lavender eyes.

"I'm handing in my resignation notice tomorrow." I spoke calmly, unwilling to glance back at Ichiru who dropped a large stack of books. I knew his expression without so much as a glance – heartbroken.

Ichiru took a minute or so to calm himself. He brushed the books from the couch and placed them on the glass coffee table. He sat beside me silently, though his eyes said more than words. I didn't even have to look at him; I could almost tell what he was thinking though he sat worriedly and quietly. "Didn't you sign a contract?" He sheepishly smiled, nervously shifting to see my eyes grow narrowed. He quickly averted his eyes with a soft cough.

"Are you alright?" I worriedly sat up, concerned with the dry sound of his cough. If he were sick again…

"I'm fine." Ichiru nodded, wiping his hands on the white kitty apron Yuki had given him. "Dinner is almost ready, it's vegetable soup again. I didn't feel like going out to get groceries, I hope you don't mind." He smiled warmly, all before heading back into the kitchen of our new home. Ichiru had picked our home himself. It was only fair since he was the only one living in it. I only scarcely visited home. It didn't matter to me where we lived, so long as we lived together. Our old living conditions actually began to jeopardize Ichiru's health, and he deserved some ounce of happiness.

I stared back up at the silver lights, reminiscent to this empty feeling. Food was unappealing. Light was nearly painful. My lungs felt heavy, though I remained calmly lying in a sort of bland nothingness. I motionlessly gazed at the lights, watching the bulbs until my eyes would show flashes of dark colors racing before my very eyes.

I closed my eyes; gripping my forehead due to the headache I was giving myself by staring blindly into the lights above. I noticed Ichiru was no longer humming while stirring the soup, but staring into the pot with his head slightly hanging.

'It's my fault that he can't go out without being mistaken with me—my character. He's still a prisoner to the house, even when he's not sick. The stress of the entertainment industry could kill him. ' My thoughts grew grim, as did my expressions. The thought of loosing Ichiru was still just as painful as loosing our parents.

"I'm not hungry." I breathed, passing the kitchen before locking myself in my room. I felt sick.

I heard Ichiru's faint sigh just before I shut the door. Something stopped me, as I listened carefully for any sound coming from the kitchen. I silently shut the door on Ichiru's sniffles. It wasn't fair.

I glanced at the dresser, unsure of my sudden footsteps. I picked up the picture frame, examining each face within the picture of black and white uniforms—minus Toga and Kaien who wore their costumes. I stood off to the side next to Kaien, staring blankly at the camera after being caught off guard. Kaien stood next to Toga who looked sternly at the camera, despite Kaien sticking his tongue out. Ruka sweetly smiled, though Aido held bunny ears behind her head. Ichijou smiled politely, though glancing back at Aido with a half-grin. Shiki stood close to Rima with his hand stuffed in his pocket, reaching for a poky stick. Rima stared back at Shiki's hands in anticipation. Akatsuki cocked his brow, leaning over the line up to scold Aido. Yori smiled next to Akatsuki, looking up to him because of his considerably taller height. Then… There was Yuuki and Kaname. The both held hands just out of the camera's sight, smiling at each other with broadened grins without knowledge of the flashing camera.

"Even then I didn't see it." I scoffed at myself, nearly humored.

My ears perked, listening to the smothered dry cough from the kitchen. I surprisingly found myself clenching the doorknob, listening to the soft wheezing that was hidden. I listened closely, saddened by the sound of his ailing health. Ever since we were children he'd been sick, which left me feeling undoubtedly guilty.

I wasn't restricted to mere dreams.

Who was I to help Ichiru? He was sick because of me… and I nearly abandoned him the minute after I'd signed my contract with Matsuri Hino. He was excited for me, and supportive of the fame that came with the growing series… though I still catch him staring mindlessly at the television set.

I cringe at the thought of his jealousy, though it's near unapparent. Though I can see he wishes to be more—to be me.

I gripped my still throbbing head, pulling my silvery hair back in an attempt to clear my mind though his whispered words ran through my head time after time. I'd heard his wish from his bedroom late on the night after a long night of filming, but I never understood it.

I'd always told him of the hell that came with show business. The late nights. The annoying interviews. The constant screaming and squealing… but above all, he knew that it was just another façade meant to make money. He knew that I'd become the very thing I hated—a fake. Nothing was real, though some aspects were almost too realistic...

'Like getting the wrong impression from a woman who's engaged to the famous child actor Kaname Kuran?' I grit my teeth, tossing the picture frame at the dresser without care. 'Even off of the set she's nothing but an actress… and that's all she's ever wanted be. All for her prince, Kaname.' I mentally cursed, bitterly glaring at the picture behind slender pallid fingers that grasped my face. My eyes grew softer, as my fingers fell from my face.

I finally made my mind. I would end things before I was ended. I would leave with dignity… 'If I had dignity left.' I sighed, finally deciding the inevitable.

I had to give my resignation to Matsuri by tomorrow at the very latest.

For now, I would simply have to sleep the afternoon away until night, just so I could better act my part. I would wonder the house restlessly like a vampire in the late hours of night and early hours of morning. It was the quietest then. I could always count on time to think, reflect, and to take time to piece reality back together again after being a fictional character. Life was easier on set. You were directed, demanded, ordered, and played much like a puppet. You were forced to amuse and please the public—there are no limits, but there were guidelines… unlike life.

In life there are only laws, but laws are there to be broken. Broken just like contracts.

I fell back at the bed, listening intently to the sounds coming from the kitchen—dead silence. I found myself more and more distant as time passed. I no longer enjoyed anything but solitude after all of the fame and flame.

One reoccurring thought always passed my mind…

What if someone knew that I reached stardom by moping the floors?

"Remember to turn out the lights and make sure you lock the doors! Also, don't forget to mop by the trashcans this time! These floors need to be spotless, which is why I pay you to clean them! If there are any bugs in this place, I'm coming after you to pay the bill to have them removed." The gruff set owner shoed me away with his hand; luckily evading my wrath as I tightly clenched the mop with white knuckles.

'Speaking of vermin, I only wish I could pay to have you removed.' I muttered mentally, moving over toward the trashcans. There were only dim lights that illuminated soft outlines of the set, though I was able to at least see everything in my way. I glanced at my watch, emotionlessly staring as the minutes flipped back to 00 and the hour at 12—midnight exactly. At least it was quiet unlike my other job down at the shipping dock, hauling supplies onto boats every morning. This odd job was also much quieter then cleaning the amusement parks in the afternoon with all of the obnoxious screaming and yelling. Of course, this set was already spotless and the job paid little to nothing, but I had no choice. With Ichiru sick again, I had to raise enough money to at least pay his medical bills from the last time he was sick.

I mopped around the trashcans, picking up the soda can that slipped between the two metal cans. I sighed, crushing the can and stuffing it in the bag before knotting both black bags. I set my mop against the wall, disregarding the bucket that remained on the other side of the room. I hauled both overfilled bags behind myself on my shoulders, mentally cursing the lazy janitor. I took the trash out back, but before returning I saw a familiar face. An unhappy familiar face.

"Just what the hell are you doing out here? Having a break?" The set owner Toyu glared, crossing his arms over his chest with a firm glare. He was an older graying man who had an obvious dollar to his name. It was noticeable by his attitude, the way he dressed, the car he had, not to mention his money-hungry wife.

"No, sir." I stepped past, trying to return to my job though he stopped me in place.

"Then what were you doing?" He asked seriously, narrowing dark grey eyes.

"Finishing the janitors job. Without trash then there's nothing to attract bugs." I spoke bitterly, just waiting for him to get out of the way so I could finish up my job and sleep for an hour or three before going back down to the dock to work.

"I don't pay slackers, and I don't pay arrogance, or back talk!" He stabbed his finger in my direction, seriously glaring at me. "You wanted the job, and I gave you one. So you'd better start being goddamned respectful, do you understand?"

I stared back emotionlessly, staring into his angered eyes that grew hot with certain disdain. I ignored the insulting comment and nodded, showing respect. "I understand." I spoke politely.

Toyu moved, walking away and unlocking his expensive luxury car with a grunt and a click of his keychain. I moved back inside, gripping the back of my neck tightly to ease the throbbing pain that shot down to my shoulders and back. The tension was killing me, and the strain on my back from loading large shipments onto shaky boats at the dock was beginning to take its toll.

I glanced at my side, almost as if the mop had called my name. I grudgingly snagged it, ready and eager to finish for the night.

"You handled yourself quite well, young man."

I glanced over my shoulder. There was an unfamiliar woman with short brown hair, and dark brown eyes. She smiled, holding a notepad under her arm and keys in the other hand. "I'm about to lock up." I warned, continuing my moping despite her wondering eyes.

"I should hope soon at least, you look exhausted. Isn't it about time to go home?" She smiled, pointing to the door. "The floors do look wonderful by the way."

My back stiffened at the word 'home'. "I'm paid by the hour. The hours not over." I continued mindlessly while mopping the rest of the floors, despite what was and what looked clean.

"That's very respectable for wanting to finish your job thoroughly." She smiled, "How many hours do you work? Certainly not enough to live off of, I would assume." I stopped mopping, instead glancing back at her with a look of emotionless annoyance. Did I not look capable of making a living for myself, along with my brother? I was more than capable.

Her eyes glistened, staring back at me with a widened grin. "You're just perfect… You're everything I could have hoped for in any of the many tiresome and useless casting calls, but you found me." She held her heart with the notepad in her clutch, on the near verge of crying as her eyes glistened with tears. "What is your name?"

I stood tall, holding my mop at my side with a void stare, wholly confused by her actions. "Zero Kiryuu."

"Zero Kiryuu, how would you like to work for me in the studio as an actor in my new series, Vampire Knight?" She asked with hopeful eyes.

I glanced back down at the mop in my hand, gravitating to it in comparison to the set that I cleaned. "What's the pay?" I went against my will, asking a question that was far more blunt then humbling.

"If you work for me… You'll never pick up another mop again."

"She was right." I sighed, staring at the door. 'I haven't done any of the cleaning in a long time.' I thought about Matsuri's words, nearly ashamed of myself. Before I worked as many jobs as I could so life would be easier for Ichiru, and now that I had a steady career life became much harder for him. Over the month's he'd gotten used to doing all of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping, and everything else. 'I only wanted for him to get better, but I've only made him lonely and sick.' I scoffed to myself, shaking my head in shame. 'I gave up time with Ichiru, free time, and even holidays and birthdays just so I could go to work... just to be close to her.'

I now realize that I only have two choices. I can choose her… or kill him.

Author's Notes: So, how'd you like it? Hopefully it's a slightly promising start!
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