Hmm. Guess I don't own Azumanga Daioh, or much of anything, really, I only own what's in my head, and frankly some of that stuff I'd rather not associate with. Have fun, guys. Oh, and this thing takes place somewhere down the line. How far? Time is an illusion, so does it really matter? Probably. Let's say 9 years, because Blastoise was a cool looking pokemon.

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In one of the idyllic, nondescript meadows that are sparsely sprinkled around the grand country of America, there rests a cottage. From a distance, it looks perfectly ordinary, unless of course, you're a city planner and are personally offended by the fact that only two people live in such a pleasant and empty patch of land. Then again, if you were a city planner, you'd probably know that the empty patch of land is privately owned and that the owner has refused several propositions to turn it into a pleasant patch of suburbia.

That last bit, of course, is of almost no consequence to us. You are not a city planner. The inhabitants of the cottage, naturally, are the important ones. These two women are quite important to us, and it is your job to watch over them. They are Aladdin and the Genie, but their identities may have been compromised. Go to the enclosed address and protect them using whatever means necessary. Do not fail us, Wildcat.

"Guard duty? Damn!"

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Atop one of the nondescript meadows sprinkled around the United States of America's continental mainland sits a cottage. In the cottage sits a girl. In her head sits a mind of quite unique capacity. In this mind, a thought congeals, and this thought soon finds its way to her mouth and promptly attempts to make its way to her housemate.

"Say, Chiyo-chan, y'know what I was just thinking about?"

"Er, no... not quite. I'm smart, but not psychic."

"Well, what's it mean when people say, 'Oh, a little birdie told me.'?"

"It means they're being sly. Secretive. They don't want to tell you exactly how they got that information."

"And how should you react?"

"Well, they're obviously lying to you about something. They've got a reason to withhold information, and they're trying to be sneaky. You should be a little bit suspicious about them, although it depends on the subject at hand."

"So then there's no point in bein' sneaky about it, right? While tryin' to be sneaky, they wind up arousin' suspicion anyhow, right? The phrase, as it is, has no meanin'! We should retire it."

"I guess so, but you can't really just outright retire a phrase, or at least, you shouldn't be able to. Phrases don't just up and vanish from normal use like that."

"Oh. Still, it bothers me. Bothers me to the core, Chiyo. It gnaws at me, like a soul-termite or something."

"Uh... right. So anyway, I've kind of got to go do some work... you keep thinkin', yeah? Maybe something spectacular will show up."

"Oh, no need for maybe! I've just hit a home run with this idea! What if instead of retirin' the phrase-"

"Which I already told you we can't do."

"-we give it an entirely new meanin'! What if we gave it purpose, changed the way it was done. A revolution! That's my touchdown! Linguistic revolution! We'll give that little phrase an entirely new outlook on life, and he can go out and get a new girlfriend, a new job, get married and raise his own litter of phrase-babies and finally make his parents happy!"

"... Right. So, how do you propose we do that? The literal fashion? Just conjure up some talking birds and have them go around and start communicating to people?"

"Yeah, why not?"

Chiyo's brain is roughly the size of a planet, and while it already had a couple thousand retorts ready and waiting for something like that, the ninety-nine percent of it that wasn't dedicated to the aforementioned retorts was already tinkering with the subject of discussion, and as a matter of fact was already beginning to make it a reality, albeit only in her mind.

After a few days' work, it wouldn't only exist in her mind.

"You're a genius, you know that?"

Chiyo raced down into her workshop, anxious to grant another wish.

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AN: Yeah, that's the meager beginnings of this thing. It's just a prologue, though. Actual chapters will probably be substantial, or at least, longer. Read and review, because fanfiction writers are powered by ego and there's nothing like a big ol' review number to help boost along the ego.