Let me start off by saying to any of you who read my other stories Lost Ones, Disappearing Acts, and How It Was Suppose to be. I am soooo sorry for taking so long to update, and I am most definitely continuing with all of the above, but I'm so stuck on all of them. I don't know if its because of what's happening to samcedes on the show, or if its the thousand things I've got running through my mind or my environment; but I have an EXTREME case of writer's block with all three of these stories. But I will do my best to get a move on with them! I can't give a date, but I can guarantee you that there is more to come.

The story below is something I've had on my mind for days now, and I just gotta let it out. Its extremely angsty, and its my interpretation of season 4 samcedes.

November 9th, 2012. 3:00 AM

Bang! Bang! Bang! She stirs, slowly opening her eyes and glances at her alarm clock " 3 o'clock in the fucking morning, really-" Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! She gets up covering her hot bare skin with the oversized nightshirt she tossed on the floor hours ago. She drags her feet towards her bedroom door and trips over the fan standing tall near the foot of her bed, ripping the cord from the wall as she lands on her hands and knees " This is just not my week" she mumbles to herself. Just as the whistling blades of the fan come to a deafening silent stop the front door starts up again. Bang! Bang! Bang! She jumps up and storms towards her bedroom door, just as she swings it open she's greeted with the sight of a briefs clad Noah Puckerman wiping the sleep from his eyes. She stops briefly to close her door before glaring at him "This better not be one of your little whores Puckerman or-" "Its not, none of them know where I live." Her face softens at the realization that he's probably as frustrated by the interuption of blissful sleep as she is before she huffs and begins to walk past him. Suddenly she's stopped by a muscular arm blocking her pathway, she looks up at him questioningly. Just as she's about to open her mouth to tell him to get the fuck out of her way he explains "Look, we don't know who's out there, its probably some psycho serial killer or something, I mean who else would be knocking on a stranger's door at 3 o'clock in the fucking morning, and Papa Jones would have my ass if anything happens to you so just...stay here. Alright mama" She rolls her eyes but does as she's told crossing her arms over her chest and leaning against the hallway wall as he makes his way towards the front door Bang! Bang! Bang!- He swings the door open and she attempts to look over his shoulder to see who's there. "What the fuck bro" Puck tilts his shoulder to the side only slightly and thats when she see's it, its only for a split second, but her hands have been tangled up in that blonde hair enough times to know who it belongs to. "Dude, get in here-"

"Sam?" He's standing in front of her now, and she would be happy if it wasn't for the tormented look on his face or his red puffy eyes. She closes the distance between them. "Um... yeah, I'm gonna go back to bed now" He just stares at her, and she just stares back. They were standing chest to chest a dozen different emotions floating around, but none quite definable. She wouldn't have even noticed Puck leaving the room if it wasn't for the fact that it caused him to glance at the back of his door it closed. And just like that, the trance was broken, then worry and panic began to set in. " God, Sam, what are you doing here? How did you get here? Whats going on? Talk to me Sam, whats wrong? Is everyone ok? Please tell me no one's hurt-" and in a second both of his hands are softly caressing her neck as he leans his forehead against hers. There both breathing heavily but she's not exactly sure why " Calm down mercy" She closes her eyes tightly and finally allows herself to revel in his presence, in his touch. She rest her hands on top of his before letting them slide down his arms then drift down his back before resting along his waist. She releases a few long steady breaths before allowing herself to speak "I'm happy to see you, its just. I was suppose to come to you for the first visit, and I was just talking to you on the phone a few hours ago, and now you're here and...and...I just wasn't expecting this. And I know somethings wrong cause you've been crying, Sammy just tell me what's wrong- " "Everyones fine, I just needed to see you" he pulls back to look her in the eye "I needed to talk to you. Mercy... I fucked up."

She pulls away completely and takes a few steps back to stop herself from slapping him before finding out exactly what "fucked up" means. He takes a step towards her but she puts a hand up stopping him in his tracks "Mercy-" "Just tell me what you did" she whispers as she looks down dejectedly holding herself, preparing herself as she leans against the hallway wall. His eyes burn as he stares at her intensely, unblinkingly willing her to look at him; not defeatedly, but lovingly the way she had moments ago while he was holding her. "I've been talking to someone else" He debates whether or not he should continue when he sees the first tear silently roll down her cheek. He decides the least he owes her is complete honestly. "I approached her, I told her that we were broken up even though we're not. I know I'm wrong, now that I'm here and I see what its doing to you. But when I was back home I felt justified, I don't know, maybe because of the whole shane thing-"

"That was different and you know it!" He could hear it clear in her voice, the pain, the hurt. At that moment he allowed himself to let go, he allowed the tears to fall freely from his face because the last time he heard that sound was the first time he left. He promised he'd never make her feel that way again, and here he was doing it voluntarily. "I know, I know it was different but-"

"How long?"

"Two months, I've been chasing after her for two months. She wasn't really into it before, but things are starting to get a little more serious now." He could hear her trying to stop herself from sobbing, he could see her shaking as tears streamed down her face and it left him speechless.

"Did you fuck her?" He could hear her struggling to keep it together long enough to choke out the words.

"No, but we came close. I wanted to. But I couldn't, because of you. I think I knew that if I did that with her, it would really be over with you. But with you here, so far away it didnt really feel like we were together anymore, I felt alone. So then i thought maybe it wouldnt be such a bad thing, if things were over between us. But then I still couldnt fuck her cause I knew it would hurt you-" He heard her scoff before a low sarcastic chuckle escaped her lips. She stopped crying he thought to himself. "-I came here to break up with you, when I was back in Lima, it was so clear to me that thats what I had to do. Just let her go, you're moving on, let her do the same. But the closer I got, the harder it was for me to grasp that concept. Of us being over, of letting this new girl take your place, of you moving on. The thought of you with another guy, it fucking kills me mercy, it makes me so fucking angry, and hurt and...and... And thats when I realized how fucked up I was. I mean, just thoughts of you with someone else had me crying like a fucking baby. I just kept asking myself, how's she gonna feel when i tell her? Whats she gonna think when she finds out how badly i fucked this up? When I got on the plane I was so sure that this girl was worth giving this up for, but by the time I landed I wasn't so sure anymore- "

"Choose her" It was whispered so low he'd barely heard her. She was standing in front of him now. He stares at her questioningly and she nods in affirmation as fresh tears fill her eyes before turning her back to him and slowly walking towards her bedroom.

"what?"

"choose her" she responds over her shoulder as she rest her hand on the door knob, just as she's about to turn the handle he grabs her arms and pulls her towards him desperately.

"Wait, let me finish-" SLAP! He's underestimated the anger now radiating off of her, initially confusing it for pain. He's brought to clarity by the throbbing sting resonating in his left cheek.

"Pick her, cause i don't FUCKING want you anymore" She tries to hit him again but he turns her around crossing her arms over her chest pulling her back close to his front as she fidgets trying to release herself from his grasp

"I'm sorry mercy, baby-"

"No-"

"If i could take it back"

"You shouldnt have been fucking with her to begin with!"

"I was alone and confused"

"Theres nothing to be confused about baby, you go back home and move on with this girl. And you love her and fuck her and break her heart when you realize she cant compare. But dont worry about me cause I'll be just fine. And dont come looking for me cause I'll be gone. I just hope shes worth it. Let me go!-" He finds himself underestimating her again, but this time its her strength as she frees her arms and reaches for her bedroom door again. In a last ditch effort to keep her close to him knowing this may very well be the last time he throws himself on the ground pulling her down with him. "No, she's not worth it. I dont want her, thats why I came Mercy thats why i had to see you, cause deep down inside I knew that if I saw you I wouldnt be able to pretend she's worth loosing you. thats why Im telling you all this because i want -"

" I dont give a fuck what you want Sam, now let me go, -"

"I love you"

He could feel her body trembling and he knew she was crying again

"I love you" he repeated as he laid her down on the hallway floor.

"I'm sorry" he whispered as he knealed between her thighs and leaned forward to brush away the tears that threatened to fall.

"I'm sorry" he whispers against her hot core before her walls clench around his tongue and her thighs quiver against the hands that hold her wide open.

"I love you" he whispers between her soft moans and shollow breaths as she curls her fingers in his hair pulling him closser, deeper.

"I love you too" she cries out as she rides out her third toe numbing mind boggling orgasm.

"Fuck" She sighs out as he rest his head on her stomach wrapping his arms around her waist as two silent tears slide down the side of her face.