THE UNEXPECTED AND UNMAGICAL DEATH OF LORD VOLDEMORT
A Harry Potter One-Shot
By Rhys Davies
DISCLAIMER: None of this is mine, and is used here solely for purposes of not-for-profit entertainment.
It takes the average spell-caster 1.5 seconds to recite the appropriate incantation and perform the correct wand-transition. Some are more complex than others. For example, the swish-and-flick of the famous Wingardium Leviosa spell is a delicate manoeuvre that cannot be rushed; thankfully this charm is rarely needed in a combat scenario. Defensive and Offensive spells rarely require the same subtlety of hand-gestures; all you need is a firm hand ready to perform an outward thrust of the wand, a cool head, lest you accidentally tie your tongue in knots in the third syllable of 'Expelliamus!', and those crucial 0.5 to 1.5 seconds; the minimum time required to deliver the spell, for even if one is able to wordlessly cast spells, one still needs time to 'think' the spell with enough intent that one's wand can act; if one is repelling another's attack, then further time is needed; time to recognise an incoming threat, and choose the best means to act against it.
This is the core principal of any magical duel; speed. Combatants must be quick-thinking and just as light on their toes, to dodge, evade, and retaliate, with speed and force and grace. However the simple fact remains, that in comparison with many other forms of combat, a magical duel can be very slow-paced, especially between matched opponents in an open arena; even the infamous Killing Curse requires a few seconds to enunciate, and that's useless to a caster if in that time the target is able to run six-feet sideways or hide behind a tree (woe however, to the tree).
The best (or should that be worst) of magical murderers know the key to a quick and favourable battle is to trap their opponent in an environment where they cannot dodge your spells, and to overwhelm them with brute power, experience, or surprise. This is why so many victims of Death Eaters are murdered in their own homes, including James and Lilly Potter; those who survive are more often the ones who have the sense to jump out the window (!) when their front door unexpectedly explodes inwards.
So, how does this relate to the unexpected and unmagical death of Lord Voldemort?
Because no matter how skilled you are at spell-casting, there is no-way that one can be perceptive enough to detect, register, and shield against a threat, when that threat is a small lump of metal entering one's skull (!) at a substantial fraction of the speed of sound.
On one evening that would otherwise have been uneventful, the worthy Rufus Scrimgeour paid a visit to the Muggle Prime Minister. Usually this would have resulted in a one-sided conversation and a quick exit through 10 Downing Street's fireplace. However on this occasion, by some bad choice of words or a more abrupt that usual manner, Scrimgeour pushed the Prime Minister 'over the edge'. The man did not get violent, but presumably made some pointed remarks about how the wizarding population evidently believed that absence of magic automatically rendered a person an incompetent idiot incapable of defending themselves. Evidentially, this caught the Minister of Magic's attention.
One-and-a-bit months later, Harry Potter came of age, and left Number 4 Privet Drive for the last time, aboard a flying motorcycle (which incidentally, was just large enough to show up on radar, and so caused a lot of confusion and panic for Air-Traffic-Control at Heathrow and Gatwick airports). The events of that night our reader may well be familiar with, except in this offshoot of the cosmic multiverse, upon flying in pursuit of Harry Potter, Lord Voldemort unexpectedly fell out of the night sky and crashed to the earth, dead upon impact, a considerable portion of his skull torn away by an outside force.
Zero-point-five miles away, atop the tower of St. Joanna's Church in the centre of Little Whingeing, First Sergeant Michael Simeon Molloy, regarded by his superiors as the best sniper in Her Majesty's Armed Forces, calmly and quietly dismantled his weapon and walked away for debriefing from the two Ministers.
THE END
Notes: This was literally conceived and written in an hour (I woke up, got out of bed, and wrote this little drabble); I dreamed about the HP franchise last night and woke up once again ruminating on how things might have been different if the Muggles had gotten involved in a conflict that was costing a lot of innocent non-magical lives, as would be their right. It seems to me that even the best of the magical community disregard the Muggles as 'unimportant' and so what better to shake them up than by having no less than a Muggle soldier 'take out' the Dark Lord himself? With Voldemort back at square one, Harry would be free to seek out the remaining Horcruxes in peace, and presumably the MoM would not proceed into a totalitarian state if Voldemort's body could be recovered by Aurors as a demonstration that 'Yes, he's dead!'.
Also, I think the key premise here is sound. All of Voldemort's tactics are based on magical combat; are there any spells that can deflect several grams of high-speed metal coming straight at your head? Furthermore, in 'flying' after Harry, Voldemort made himself into an easy target, especially if the sky is clear and well-lit. And even for a magical being, there are limits on how fast the human body can travel unshielded (Voldy was evidentially faster than the bike, but probably not that much faster). Seems to me that a well-trained sniper could easily take him out, and if you disagree, feel free to post a comment to that effect.
Cheers! And Thanks For Reading!