Twas Christmas eve and all through the house, Sting was screaming slurs, drunk off his ass. Kimber and Berg were decorating the tree, and Chuck was Enjoying cocoa, as opposed to Sting's "eggnog", which was more vodka than eggnog. Kimber gave Berg a right hook to the beak, as he wanted to hang up nothing but red, white, and blue. Sting's ramblings were halted as Kimber dragged him in front of the tree where everyone else was admiring their work, sans Randy who was contemplating hanging himself with a Christmas wreath. "Not too shabby, right honey?" Kimber asked. "Herrrgeropchag." Sting slobbered in response. "Don't worry, he's normally like this. I think we did a wonderful job with these disgusting womanly communist ornaments." Berg stated comfortingly. After a moment of depressing silence in which Kimber wondered what the point of her suffering was, she politely asked Sting to pass the eggnog. "I wonder what santa will bring me." Chuck stated. "A goddamn foot up your ass" Sting mumbled. "I've been meaning to ask, what is the meaning of this holiday? I only celebrate the Fourth of July." Berg asked. "Obviously, the meaning of Christmas is the reason Kimber started doing yoga, if you catch my drift." Sting the recovering alcoholic said. "I dunno, presents I guess? I wasn't expecting a quiz you buff asshole." Kimber snapped. "I think I remember it being a celebration of dudes getting nailed to wood." Berg explained. "Well I think it's just-" Chuck the meek bitch was interrupted by the festive sound of the government breaking down his door. "Sting! You are under arrest for stealing drinks from a comedian." "I surrender, but before you do anything... would you like to stay for a drink?" Sting the attempted convict offered. His short time rival and disgusting cannibal zombina begrudgingly agreed to this. "So what were you all talking about?" Tio the too pure cinnamon bun asked. "We were talking about the meaning of Christmas among other gay things." Kimber replied. "Obviously Christmas is all about vacation days!" Zombina declared. "Nah, it's about making out with hot slime dudes under the mistletoe!" Doppel demanded. "I'm an antisocial fuck so I have no opinion I wish to state." Monako stated. "Well obviously it's about the Christmas clothes!" Tio said. "What about you Chuck? What do you think Christmas is about?" Sting asked. "Christmas is about spending time with family. We all fight, but this holiday has halted wars and rekindled relationships. We all love gifts, but what's a truly rare gift nowadays is peace of mind." The room grew into a state of pleasant silence until Sting broke said silence with a question "What, are you some kinda faggot or something?" Our Christmas gift to you! we here at Muscular Cheeto are proud to present: MONSTER STOOGES TWO: BONED DRY! Coming soon. The four monster stooges?