PURGATORY
A Short Story by Celtic Air
Disclaimer: Joss is god.. yadda yadda..
"I've committed murder and I think I got away...
I have no intention of paying more my crimes don't fear
We're gonna get the next plane outta here and fly away, fly away"
-Macy Gray
The room slowly came into focus as Faith awoke. The white floor, ceiling, and walls made her dizzy as the room continued swirling around her. Or maybe it was the knock to her head that made her feel that way. A faint buzz from all around the room could be heard.
Glancing around she became nervous as she realized she didn't know where she was. How had she gotten here, and most importantly how would she get back. There was a deep intense need to get back.
But back to where? The last moment she remembered before blacking out was Buffy and her fighting to the death, and her losing. She had been the bad guy in the movie, and as movies often go, she had died. Or had she? Whatever had happened, she was confused and wanted answers.
A scene, as if in a dream, crossed into her mind as she remembered helping Buffy defeat the Mayor and stop the Accession. But had that been real? More importantly, was any of this real? Faith decided to focus on one issue at a time. "Where the hell am I?" was the first.
A man, not much older than Faith, appeared in the room behind her, silently. "This is purgatory. Welcome to it.," he told her, but like a tourist guide who had done a route too many times he had no feeling but boredom in his voice.
"What?" Faith twirled around, in fighting stance.
"Whoa, a little trigger happy aren't you?" He threw up his arms in mock surrender.
"Purgatory?" Faith put her fist down, but still stayed alert.
"It's like Heaven, only we send you back when we're done." He smiled.
"Wait, hold on a sec, who are you?"
He sighed, drawing on all his energy to get through this rough meeting. He hated explaining his job to everyone he met. "I'm your guardian angel."
Faith started laughing, "You? Yeah, sure ya are."
"Would you please just work with me here, I mean, it's not like I really wanted this job. Imagine my horror when they pulled your name out of a hat, me watching over Ms. I've-Got-So-Many-Issues-So-Now-I-hate-The-World"
"Ok, B.T.W., I've had a rough life." She started telling him off.
"Oh, no, not this speech again."
"I had a rough childhood, I saw my watcher get murdered, I was hunted by some very evil vamps," Faith noticed the guy was mimicking her.
"And all you really wanted was a friend.." He finished faking sympathy for her. "Guess what, no one cares, learn to deal." He snapped his fingers and a litle white folding chair appeared near Faith. Pushing her down into it he said, "You've got a lot to learn."
A second snap of his fingers and a movie screen appeared. He grabbed a remote out of thin air and walked to the back of the room, pressing the play button. The movie started, it was more like home videos, actually; showing various scenes from Faith's life. He fast forwarded through her childhood, and most of her teen life, stopping atthe moment when she reached Sunnydale, the hellmouth of the world. "Here's where it gets interesting." He said smiling.
Faith continued watching it reluctantly. Her past was not an easy road, and she avoided memory lane as much as possible. The screen paused right at the moment that defined most of the past year.
"It was a mistake, wasn't it?" her guardian angel asked her.
"I don't make mistakes. And I don't pay for them either."
"We'll see," He pushed the play button again and the movie resumed. The picture showed Faith drivig a stake through a non-vampire, a human. She killed him, and in that moment was scared as hell.
The next scene was her and Buffy talking about the man she had killed. "Okay, this is the last time we're gonna have this conversation, and we're not even having it now. You understand me? There is no body. I took it, weighted it, and dumped it. The body doesn't exist." She had told Buffy.
To which, Buffy had replied, "Getting rid of the evidence doesn't make the problem go away."
"So true." The Angel voiced his opinons from the back of the room.
"It does for me." Both the Faith in the movie and the one in the room replied in unison.
The guardian angel stopped the movie. "Did it go away, Faith? No, look at where it got you."
Faith jumped out of her seat, upset. "Look, why don't you just send me to hell okay? I don't want to be here."
"I don't want to be here either," he told her, his job was just getting harder and harder. "You have to learn, Faith. You've done so much good, and you can do so much more. But only if you shut up once in awhile."
"So, what am I susposed to learn you all of this?" She crossed her arms over her stomach. "That I'm evil? That I was wrong, and that I can't fix things?" She started pacing.
"No, how about this lesson, 'no matter how much you give up on yourself, and how easily, there will always be people who believe in you." He suggested to her.
Faith shook her head. Life wasn't like that, real life anyway. No ohne believed in her. She was the 'bad seed' and people were always waiting for her to screw up again. She was tired of that. That role had been played out. The only one she knew who had believed in her was the Mayor, and he had been evil. "You're wrong," she said simply.
He stood in front of her, holding her shoulders, "Would you stop pacing, you're making me dizzy?" He smiled at her "Your watcher believed in you."
Faith stepped back, away from him, she didn't want to deal with that memory. Mary Covington had been she first true watcher. Two years ago in Boston, Mary had taken the lost homeless girl in from the streets, declaring her to be the new slayer. Faith's only real family, but hadn't lasted that long. A vampire Kakistos had gone on a murdering spree in the city, for a few months, until the slayer and her watcher decided to take him out. Mary had trusted Faith to slay the vampire at the right moment, while Mary put herself out in the open, to use as bait.
"I was too slow." Faith said dazed, remembering that moment as if it was happening to her all again. Mary was killed two seconds before I should have pulled the trigger on the crossbow."
The angel wrapped his arms around her, hugging her and giving her needed support. "What happened then?" He knew full well what had happened, because he had been too late as well. The guardian angel had arrived at the scene too late, and because of that her's life had been ruined.
"I just ran away," Faith recalled. "I ended up in Sunnydale. With Buffy."
"But you got revenge."
"Yeah, the vamp came after me. I slayed it, with Buffy's help."
"That's what friends are for I guess." The guardian angel smiled.
Somehow Faith stopped feeling sorry for herself at that moment. "Ya think that's what Mary wanted?"
"Maybe you weren't late, maybe you were early."
Faith thought that over. "Yeah, maybe." She smiled. "I've been a real jerk haven't I?"
The angel looked at her, grinning, "Do you want me to tell you the truth?"
Faith felt a surge of power come over her as she realized what she had to do. It was time to stop blaming life and it's little problems on everyone else. Life was life. The point was surviving. If she had learned nothing else from her years as a vampire slayer it was that life was about surviving, but not so much as surviving in fear, but surviving in spite of it.
"I think I better go now, I got lots to do. Ya know, lot to make up for." Faith wanted more than ever to go home, to Sunnydale. She wanted to face what she hadn't been able to. "Do you think they'll forgive me?" She asked him. Her 'friends' for lack of a better word, had been good to her despite her many issues. She wanted to say she was sorry to them.
"Only one way to find out." He told her, and she knew he was right.
"I'm going back?"
"Yeah, please, cause it was alot quiter without you," He joked.
A warm white light began to surround her. "Hey, B.T.W., what was your name?"
"Snipes."
"Ya gonna be watching over me?"
"Yeah."
"Freaky... but in a good way, ya know," were her last words to him as she lost conciousness.
A moment latter she started to see bright lights above her head, like the ones they use in hospitals. Faint voices were drifting over her head.
"Doctor, she's waking up." She heard one say.
Faith moaned from the pain. She stirred in the bed until she felt an IV needle go into her arm.
Moments later she was listening to some doctor. He was just explaining to her what had happened and where she was, but she already knew that. She was home. She was in Sunnydale, and she was ready to live life to its fullest.
T.E.
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