Disclaimer: Don't own Sailor Moon.
Note: This is a good sandwich.
Something that isn't Nothing
By: Jake D.
The silence caused by the meeting of our eyes was startling. Suddenly the sound of the door clicking shut was thunderous and my signal to remember to breathe. The pained expression on your sweet and pale face tells me you're losing the struggle for control. It was unrealistic to believe we could have avoided this situation. And now I'm losing my grasp too...
Acting against my better judgment I rush towards you. We've both suppressed this urge for so long that the harshness of our kisses comes as no surprise. Everything became a series of sensations and instinctual actions. All I can do is take, grab, feel your chest against mine. Feeling your breaths as much as hearing them.
But your lips are just not her lips...
The guilt squeezes my heart but I cast it aside thinking this time will be different. I am ashamed of what you do to me. Even credited for my loyalty I feel like nothing but a traitor. The split seconds you pull away between each kiss allows me a look into your heavily lidded blue eyes. The passion threatens to beat back the shame.
They're not her eyes...
It's all I can do to push you away and hold you at arms length while I steady myself. I'll never understand how we can do this to each other. I'll never know what you see in me.
"I want you to hate me."
Clearly startled and upset you step out of my hold. I want to tell you how sorry I am but if I speak another word I'm certain it would only come out as I'm sorry and I love you. And how could I know if I ever meant it? We've made our decisions. In an instant you're gone and the door shutting behind me reminds me to breathe.