Author's Notes: Thanks everyone for stopping by to read my little ditty. This contains some spoilers for 7x06 "Burn Out," so consider yourself warned.
Relief
by Kristen Elizabeth
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. --Unknown
When she couldn't reach him on his cell, Sara started to get worried.
Almost from the moment the Amber Alert was issued, Grissom had started to withdraw into himself. She knew all the warning signs; she could practically count them off from memory.
Looks exhausted…check.
Turns down dinner offer…check.
Demands immediate results…check.
Short with Greg…check.
Disappears…check.
The only difference in this all-too familiar situation was that now she was well within her rights as his girlfriend to call him out on his attitude. So when she got his voicemail for the third time, Sara took it upon herself to seek him out wherever he was hiding.
It only took one call to Brass to learn that he'd never left PD after the child molester was arrested. As soon as she wrapped things up at the lab, she drove straight over.
Brass directed her towards one of the empty waiting areas. The blinds were drawn and the lights were off.
"How long has he…"
"Couple of hours," Brass cut her off. "Can you get him out of there, Sara? We'd like our room back." She blinked at this, and he rolled his eyes upwards. "Sorry. I'm supposed to be clueless about you two." Shaking his head, he walked away.
Sara tested the knob and found it unlocked. She decided not to knock. Better to not give him any opportunity to order her away.
A shaft of light from the hallway landed on the couch where Grissom was stretched out, one arm flung across his forehead. Instantly, her annoyance with him melted away and was replaced with concern.
"Gil," she whispered, silently closing the door behind her. He made a noise of muffled protest. "It's me." She crept to the couch and knelt down next to him. "Did you take something?"
He nodded. His features were pinched with pain. "I've reached the daily limit."
Sara couldn't keep her fingers from running through his short locks. She tried to make her touch as light as possible, knowing from experience that every inch of his body was hyper-sensitive during these episodes. "Can I get you anything?"
"No." He paused. "Thanks."
A few minutes passed. Sara kept stroking his hair; she had to do something. Seeing him in pain made her heart literally hurt. Being in love did that to you.
Finally, Grissom spoke. "I liked him."
"The pedophile?"
"Yeah." He made a face; she wasn't sure if it was from the distaste of this admission, or from the migraine. "I hate what he did in the past and what he did now…but he was intelligent. Articulate. Under different circumstances, we could have matched minds."
Sara rested her cool palm against his cheek. "You're allowed to have mixed reactions to suspects," she said softly. "Things aren't always black and white."
"Things are getting greyer," he murmured.
"What do you mean?"
Grissom shook his head against the arm rest. "Never mind."
"No." Frowning now, she placed her other hand on his other cheek. He opened his eyes to see her looking down at him. "What's going on, Gil? You used to get these things once or twice a year. You've had two in the past month."
"I don't know, Sara. I'm just…tired."
She swallowed heavily. "Is it me?"
He considered her for a second before reaching up to her. She kissed the pad of his thumb as he brushed it across her lips. "I'd probably be a lot worse off if I didn't have you. The one thing in my whole world that makes sense."
Sara felt her eyes water. "I'm really worried about you."
"This case just…" Grissom sighed. "It was kids. They always get to me, but now it's worse. All I ever see is how horribly wrong things can go. And I wonder…could I ever ignore a child enough to make him seek out a pedophile's company? Could I get angry enough to slam a kid up against a wall?"
"Do you think I would have let you knock me up if I thought there was even a chance that the answer to either of those questions could be 'yes'?"
"I'm not exactly fueled by rational thought at the moment," he reminded her.
Sara took his hand and squeezed gently. "I'm scared, too. I think we're supposed to be. If you're not scared, maybe it means that you're not taking it all seriously." She gave him a little smile. "We're bringing a new life into a world that we know can be violent and unpredictable. But…we're good people, Gil. And we're going to do our best." She paused. "But I can't do this without you. I need you to come to me when you're overwhelmed, not hide out at PD, ignoring your phone."
Grissom closed his eyes. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry. Just be here." She leaned forward and kissed him. His lips were dry, but soft and warm. "Let's go home. Okay?"
He sat up and stared at her for a moment. "You know…you are a prescription for pain relief, honey."
"That's a change. Usually I'm the pain people need relief from." Sara helped him to his feet, surprised when he pulled her close and gave her another, more thorough kiss. "I'm glad you're feeling better," she said when he pulled away.
He said nothing, which told her everything. He was still hurting. But he was determined to bear it by her side, instead of by himself. For Gil Grissom, it was a major step.
At home, she fixed him tomato soup and sent him straight to bed. She had work left to do, but found it impossible to resist his quiet request that she stay with him. He fell asleep with his head on her breast and his hand on her belly.
Sara held him throughout the night and when he woke in the morning, the pain was gone.
For the time being.
Fin