Just a little story that wouldn't leave my mind
Merlin closed his eyes and breathed in the cold, spring air. Rain was falling hard on his shoulders, instantly soaking him. He leaned against the stone wall, ignoring the water that was seeping in his clothing from the wet stones. He couldn't find the strength in him to care. Lately, he couldn't find the strength in him to do much these days. He was so tired and worn. He was tired of constantly lying to his friends, of pretending that he's someone he's not; pretending that he's the defenseless little manservant and that he was no one special. But then, if it wasn't for his magic, he really was nobody. Just Merlin.
And that wasn't all that special, is it?
He opened his eye and observed the courtyard. The fountains were overflowing from the rain and very few people were braving the rain. He was finally alone and who knows just how much he needs it. Merlin sank to his bottom, wanting to become as small as possible. He hugged his knees to himself, not only to keep warm, but it was also a comfort thing for him.
Watching the puddle at his feet slowly growing bigger, he ignored the person who was walking down the stairs next to him. The person suddenly stopped. Merlin cringed inwardly; why couldn't they leave? He just wanted to be alone. He could feel their eyes on him and he had a sneaky suspicion who it was.
Arthur walked the rest of the way down the stairs and up to Merlin. Merlin was half expecting either some words of concern or teasing. He was surprise when, instead, Arthur sat down next to him, also ignoring the wet ground. It was quiet for a few minutes before Arthur spoke. "Long week for you, too?"
Merlin turned to Arthur and meet his eyes. They studied each other before Merlin turned away. "Yeah," he murmured. Arthur hummed before also looking away. They both watched the rain, both feeling tired and worn.
"Have you ever," Arthur started slowly, saying his thoughts out loud. "Felt like no matter what you do, it's never enough? Or that no matter how hard you try, it's never appreciated?"
Merlin couldn't help the bitter smile from growing. Oh, he knew exactly how that felt. "Yeah," he replied. "But you don't want to say anything because then it just sounds like you're tooting your horn."
Arthur looked at Merlin, surprised that the other male even responded. Not only that, but he responded with something that he also felt like. He didn't know what to say in response, so he turned back to the courtyard, watching as the rain slowed down and everything started to become still.
"I'm tired," Merlin whispered.
"Me, too, buddy. Me, too."
Somewhere, the sun was shining.