Letters Never Sent
By Mrs Nina Cullen
Rating: T
Paring: ExB
Genre: Romance
Summary: After reading a book Bella decides to write letters to her love. He just doesn't know anything about it.
Disclaimer: I don't own twilight.
~*~*~L ` N ` S~*~*~
Dear Edward,
I was in class the other day when our English class heard about this book that was made up of old letters. The said it was great book and read a few pages to us. She asked us to write a letter to our future selves and a letter to our future spouse. After the assignment I went to the library and checked it out the book. It really was a good book. It was about this woman that spent her whole life waiting for one man to notice her. It turns out she never got her man but the letter she wrote him every day were found by her niece. The niece tracked down the man and found out he had died in the war leaving a wife and son. The son and the niece started to talk and found love with each other because of the letters. Any ways, the pint of this letter, after much debate I decided that the only way for me to get over you and move on would be to write to you and let it all out. Maybe one day one of my children will find them and search for you and fall for one of your children. So if you ever read this or any of my letters just know that it was meant as an outlet for me not to make you feel bad or anything like that. If you ever get to read them then know that I although I longed to be with you, you always made me feel like I was somebody.
Yours,
IMS
Dear Edward,
I remember the first time I met you. It was the first day of the fourth grade and I was at a new school. I had gotten to school late and I had forgotten my lunch. I hadn't realized it till we were getting our things ready to leave for lunch. I was upset I had no lunch and I had no money to buy some. I knew that the school would give out a peanut butter sandwich but I hate peanut butter. So, I went to sit alone while everyone ate. You came up to me and gave me half your lunch before going back to your friends. It was then I knew you were special I just didn't know how special you would become to me. We became friends after that. We were at the stage in life that boys and girls didn't have cooties but only the brave few had crushes. By the end of the year we had become really good friends. You were my first friend in Forks and because of you I was brave enough to make new ones on my own. You, Edward Cullen, give me the courage I needed to be me and be okay with it. For that thank you. Yours, IMS Dear Edward, The first time I realized that you were more than just a friend to me was in middle school. It was the Sadie Hawkins dance. I had decided that I wouldn't go. I didn't like the idea of having to ask out a boy. You told me it would okay to not go but that I might wish had gone later on. You had gotten asked out by five of the girls in our class. You had said no to Lauren because she was never nice to me or at least that's what you told me. You had said no to Jessica because you thought she talked too much. You said no to Angela because your friend Jasper liked her. You had said no to both Victoria and Rose because they were never nice to you or anyone really. Each time one of them asked you I felt a prang of hurt. When you turned them down I felt elated. Neither one of us went to the dance that year. You and I went mini golfing (as friends) but still had a blast. That's when I knew that you would be forever that person for me, the one that would always have a piece of my heart. I just didn't know then how much you really had.
Yours,
IMS
Dear Edward,
You gave me my first kiss. I'm not sure if you know that. It was the summer before high school and you had a big party. Some of us girls were sitting down stairs in the media room talking. You came down with a few other guys. Someone said we should play a game. I was just sitting there trying not to look at you, I found it really hard. I heard my name being called so I looked and saw Rose looking at me. She was taking to Victoria then they called your name. We were told we had to kiss for fifteen seconds open mouth. We looked at each other for a second them we kissed. There was no awkwardness between us. Not before, during or after. I'm not sure what that meant about us. Did it mean that we were such good friends that nothing could get in the way? Did it mean that we were more than friends we just didn't know it? Or was it that we were really nothing to each other? I spent the whole summer trying to figure it out. You had gone to Chicago to visit family so I didn't get to see you. On the first day of high school you came up to me and said hi like you had always. I knew you only saw me like a friend. I was okay with that we were young still and you were the best kind of friend.
Yours
IMS
Dear Edward,
The last year of high school was difficult for me. Not only did I have to decide what I was going to do with my life but there was a major shift in the school social circles. We had been well known in our small school but we weren't the most popular. Something had happened during the summer that very few knew about. I knew but I never told anyone that I knew. I was very proud to call you my friend after that, not that I was never ashamed of it but well you know what happened so you could see why I would be even more proud. Anyways, after that thing that happened, happened things changed, so much. James and Royce King left town, and rightfully so. With them being gone you Mike and Jasper were now the "Top Dogs" at school. I was never left out of the group but Rose now took the spot of your best friend next to Jasper. She stuck to you like glue and I understood why but I was sad that we weren't as close any more. By the end of that year the most interaction we had was borrowing notes from each other. Yours, IMS Dear Edward, In College I was alone for the first time in my life. All of our friends were scattered across the US some even went over sees to go to school in Europe. I was at Brown and you were at Harvard. Our group made some plans to keep up in each other's lives. At first we did, you and I met up in Seattle to travel home for Thanksgiving and Christmas that first year you had stayed at school for spring break. I went home and never went back to Brown. My father got shot while working and needed to care for him. I started classes online and working at the diner to help my dad out. You can back home every time you could, mostly a few weeks in the summers. You would always include me in what all the college kids were doing, I was grateful. You never made me feel bad for the choice I made. You made me okay with it and you said that you were proud that even though I had to take care of my father I still worked on my degree. I finished early and got a job working at the same school that we met. Yes I am a fourth grade teacher. I think of you every time I go to work. We still keep in touch from time to time and even after all this time I still ache for you. I haven't really met anyone but in Forks there isn't much to choose from.
Yours,
IMS
Dear Edward,
The fall has started not that there is any way to know that, besides the date, it's always the same here. It's been a while since I've heard from you. You had finished undergrad as premed. I heard you went to a really great medical school. I know that is a stressful career to pursue. I'm not upset that you haven't had time to keep in touch, I understand. I hadn't realized how much time had passed until the other day. I was at the pharmacy getting some cold meds for my dad when I heard some of the town gossipers talking about a new doctor coming to town then I heard someone say your name. They said you were coming back to town to work at the hospital. I'm not sure what happened after that. The next thing I remember is going home to my room and sitting at my desk to write to you. The thought of you being in the same town as me after all these years, I can feel the butterflies in my tummy. I can feel myself blush just from the thought of seeing you. I'm almost thirty years old and I feel like a young girl with a crush. I don't know how much you have changed over that last few years. I don't know if your single or maybe you have a family of your own that you'll be bring with you. I'm scared that if you do have a family then I won't be able to be your friend. I'm even more scared of having to tell myself that there really is no chance for us and I have to move on or spend the rest of my life alone. I don't want to be alone any more. I know that it's unfair to pin my loneliness on you. I'm not really. It's me really. I've just never really found anyone that I wanted to be with more then with you. Honestly we could be horrible together but I've always thought it would be great. Yours, IMS Dear Edward, I saw you today. You were walking out of the grocery store towards a sliver car with a few bags in your hands. I wanted to pull in and say hi but I didn't want to look like a loser. I kept driving and hoped that I could run in to you again. Two weeks later and I still haven't seen you again. I know your here. I've a few of the kids in my class visit you at the hospital for different reasons. The girls talk of nothing but how cute the new doctor is. I've heard the old hens gossiping about you, I don't know how much to believe. I know that if I get really desperate I could find you at the hospital, but I don't want to just show up without a better reason then hay I just came to see your pretty face. I hope I can run in to you soon.
Yours,
IMS
Dear Edward, This is not an easy letter to write and it won't be long. Charlie passed away this morning or last night. I'm not sure. The EMS guy told me it probably happened in his sleep. I guess that makes it better. I don't know how to feel or what to do. I feel lost and alone. I have so many things to do and I just don't think I can.
Yours,
IMS
Dear Edward,
I just buried my father. Everyone has come to visit and pay their respect. They've been bringing me food and everyone keeps apologizing. I don't need any that I just need my dad back. I know that sounds ungrateful. I know that if anyone could they would bring him back. Everyone loved him. He was a staple on the community. Everyone will miss him. But he was my dad and they only person I had left in my life. I am truly alone now and I can hear it in everyone's tone. 'Poor Bella she has no one left in her life. She will die alone and with a million cats.' I don't have any cats but I am alone and lonely. I have friends but they all have families, their own husbands, wives and children. They all have lives. I'm sorry this letter is such a downer. I do have to say that through all of this you have been a great friend. When you heard about Charlie you came straight to me and gave me a hug. You didn't apologize, you didn't bring me any food, you didn't make me feel like the loser that I am. You helped me plan everything. You held me when I cried and you were just there for me. You still are one of the nicest and greatest people I know. I am grateful that I have your friendship.
Yours,
IMS
Dear Edward,
The last few months have been hard for me but you have been amazing. You come see me whenever you can. You've brought me lunch at school. You make sure that I don't isolate myself. You have never forced me to do anything but if I choose to stay home eating ice cream and watching sad movies, you always show up with the best ice cream and a happy movie to watch after the tear jerk-er. You have kept my head above water and I am so grateful to have you in my. You truly are my best friend. Thank you.
Yours,
IMS
Dear Edward,
I'm shocked. I'm stunned. I'm speechless. I'm not sure what happened really. You had come over to watch a movie. I had long left the sad movies, I had decided to stop being sad. I had made food and you had brought ice cream and pop corn. We ate then sat to watch the movie. You with the pop corn me with the ice cream. Somewhere during the long movie I started to doze off. I guess in my unconscious state I thought your shoulder was a good pillow. I woke up to find that we were both lying on the couch. You were lying on the outside. I was lying on the inside but mostly I was lying on you. I was going to move and maybe wake you but you held me closer and in a sleep voice told me not to move. Then you kissed me, on the lips. I thought I was sleeping so I just let it happen. In the morning I was woken up by the sun and we were still on the couch. You still had your arms around me. I was able to get up without waking you. I made coffee and breakfast for us. Neither of us talked about what happened it wasn't uncomfortable. When I walked you to the door like always you kissed me again and asked if I was busy for dinner. You wanted to cook for me. I could barely speak but was able to agree. So I'm going over your house in a bit to eat dinner. I'm so nervous, but I'm happy.
Yours,
IMS
Dear Edward,
Oh my God, I'm dating Doctor Edward Cullen. I'm guessing you already knew that. I just can't get over it. It's been six months since that kiss and I still can't believe it. I'll be honest, not much has changed between us. The transition from friends to dating was effortless. We do all the same things we did before except know there's more hugging and hand holding and yes, my favorite, kissing you. Oh and when we started to you know, get more physical with each other (in the best way possible), that was amazing. You were surprised when I had told you that I hadn't been with anyone ever. And after that first night we rarely spent a night apart unless you had to work but those nights you asked me to stay at your place so I would be there when you got in at some ungodly hour. I don't think life can get any better.
Thank you
Yours Always,
IMS
Dear Edward,
Life just got better. You made me dinner, not that that's different for you, you do it often. While eating you asked me if I wanted to move in with you, I smiled and said 'yes, I would love to.' You then said and I quote, 'Good I wouldn't want my wife living a different house as me.' I couldn't speak. I just stood there while you got down on your knees and pulled out a ring. You asked to be your wife. I said yes. We spent that night in bed together and most of the next morning as well. Life was amazing.
Thank you.
Yours always,
IMS soon to be IMC
Dear Edward,
Today's the day. By the end of the day I will be Mrs. Edward Cullen. I can't believe that it has finally happened. I'm a little nervous and sad. I'm not nervous or sad because I'm marring you. I'm nervous about messing up or tripping. I'm sad because my dad can't be there. When I told you how I was feeling last night you hugged me and told me you felt the same way. You were scared that you would do something wrong and I'd just walk away. That will never happen, and I told you that. You talked to me about my dad. I told you that I wish he could be there to walk me down the aisle. You held me while I cried, then you told me that even though Charlie wasn't physically able to walk me down the aisle didn't mean he wasn't there with me. And I knew you were right. As I sit here in my white dress waiting to walk down the aisle to you I can feel him here. I can feel him whenever I have to make important decisions. I know that he will be happy that I have you to take care of me. I knew he was worried I would be alone like he was. I better stop writing and get down to you before you send out a search party for me. I love you Edward. I can't wait to be with you for the rest of our lives.
Yours always,
IMS very soon to be IMC
Dear Edward,
I'm nervous. Why? Well we're going to be parents. I haven't told you yet. We haven't really talked about it. I think you're going to be happy about it. I'm telling you tonight. Let's hope it goes well. I've put a lot of thought in to doing this. On another note, I've been thinking about what we would have. You know a boy or a girl. I kind of want a boy. It's just that I had a dream of a little boy that looks just like you Edward. You're crazy hair and beautiful green eyes. But if I'm honest then I would say that I want more than just one. We both grew up as only children and have found it could be lonely at times. I better go I just heard your car driving up. I love you so much. Thank you for loving me and giving me this child. Yours always,
IMC Dear Edward, You are an angel. It's two in the morning and you have gone out to find me some ice cream and pancakes. You never get mad at me when I get all hormonal crazy bitch on you. You have been the perfect husband and father. You dote on us like we were royalty. I try not to take advantage of it, truly I don't want to but sometimes I can't sleep until I get what my mind is asking for. I want to thank you for the bottom of my heart (and the bottom of my very large baby bump) for everything you do for me and our baby. (Which by the way you didn't want to find out what we were having, the one thing you wouldn't give me.) Anyways I just needed to tell you that you are just the perfect man and that I love you tremendously.
Yours always,
IMC
Dear Edward,
This is the first moment I've had alone since are little boy was born. We named him Charles Edward Cullen, but you know that don't you. We had originally planned on a different name but when that little boy came out with brown curly hair and big brown eyes we both knew that he was a Charlie. He's beautiful and he's a handful. You've taken off a few weeks off work to stay home and help me. Thank you for staying awake with me during the three o'clock feedings and for helping with the poopy dippers. Thank you for loving me even though you saw a person being squeezed out of me. I love you always. You're always,
IMC Dear Edward, Although life is crazy you have always found a way to make me feel special. We just celebrated ten years of marriage. We have two children both in school. Yet you always find a way to make things special and just for Me., A note, a flower, a dinner, and so much more. Life gets busy and sometimes it gets in the way but I never feel unloved or lonely because you make sure that I always remember that you love me unconditionally. Thank you for being my other half.
Yours always,
IMC
Dear Edward, Today is not easy for me. Our baby, our little girl, Daisy, is graduating high school. It feels like just yesterday we found out we were going to have her, and here we are to high school graduates and an empty house. It's sad to see the kids go and we both feel it but as you pointed out to me, we are still young enough to enjoy each other and our free time. Plus it won't be too far off when we might be grandparents. Just last week you told me that Charlie came to you about having your mom's ring so he could ask his long time girlfriend, Sue, to marry him. We haven't heard anything yet but we know it will happen soon. I haven't told you yet but I know about your plans for this summer and I must say that sounds amazing. I better go before I miss my baby girl get her diploma. I love you and thank you for loving me.
Yours always,
IMC
Dear Edward,
You found my box of letters yesterday. You had been playing hide and seek with the grand kids when you came across them. Even though they all had your name on them you didn't read them, thank you for that. You asked me about them so I told you the truth. You smiled and gave me a kiss. You asked if I was ever going to let you read them. I told you to give me a few days to think about it. I know you want to read them who wouldn't want to read a box their spouse, or any one really, wrote to them. I think I'm going to let you read them but I'm not sure. I have always wondered what you would think if you read them. Especially the ones form the first few years. When I started these I never thought I would have you, let alone actually have you read them. Over the years it's been more of a diary of sorts. I thought that one day when we were gone our children or grand children would find them and have a great story to tell their kids. I've decided that I'm going to let you read my letters, well really your letters. I hope you enjoy readying them as much as I've enjoyed reading them. I love you Edward Always and Forever. You're always,
IMC Dear Isabella, I just read the letter you wrote to me. I honestly have no words to tell you how I feel after reading them. I wish I knew back in high school that you felt that way but I'm not sure I was ready then for what we would have had. I have loved you for so long that I have a hard time remembering when I haven't. To read about a time that you felt lost and alone hurts me even though I can't or couldn't do anything about it, is hard for me. I don't like it when you are not happy. But on the other hand I love reading how you felt through all are good times together. I love know that even though you wrote these letters you could still talk to me and be honest about how you were feeling. I decided that I wanted to tell how I feel in a letter just so that you had something from me. I kind of wish I would have known that you had been writing them all along. Not to read them but so that I could have written to you too. It would have been nice to share and compare how we were feeling and what we were thinking during our life together. Regardless I will treasure these letters and hope to have more to read before our time is up. I love you more than I could ever express in words. Thank you for giving me two beautiful children and thank you for loving me.
Eternally yours,
EAC
The End