Poison Wine V
..In the eyes of Kyouya Ohtori..
..He has always been so nice
to everyone...
..I don't understand..
..How can he
genuinely feel that way about everyone he meets..
.. I don't
think it's possible to understand him..
..His mind works
differently from mine..
..I will only do something if it
will give me something in return..
..But, although I always
say that...
..I don't understand why I have chosen
him..
..I am supposed to be with someone who will boost my
status..
..Someone who will help me reach a higher
social level..
..So why him?..
..I ask myself that
every day..
..I ask myself that when I wake up next to him,
surrounded by crumpled sheet douced in our lovemaking, my vision
blurry..
..I ask myself that when I take a shower and he
ever the bath tub, sleepy eyed and yawning..
..I ask myself
that when he wraps his arms around me and rests his head upon my
chest..
..I ask myself that when he kisses my cold
lips..
..I ask myself "Why him?" when I am burried
deep within his body, penetrating his core, forcing my soul to be one
with his..
..Why him?..
..Why him?..
..I
don't know why...
..I can't know why..
..It may
just be fate..
..But, I believe it's more than
that..
..I've never believed in
destiny..
..Never...
..But, then how am I
supposed to give a logical explanation as to why I choose him to be
the one who warms my bed at night..
..I decide not
to..
..That's the most reasonable thing to do..
..Let
them call it petty lust, confusion of our sexuality...
..It's
more than that, but I'm too tired to
debate..
..Instead..
..I'll go home..
..I'll
walk wearily into my room..
..I'll be greeted by him with a
smile and open arms..
..I shall hug him and he shall hug
me..
..I'll inhale the elegant scent of his
hair..
..I'll cling to him..
..I'll feel my eyes
fill with tears..
..Tears that are filled with
confusion..
..Not of sexuality..
..Screw
sexuality..
..Confusion of emotion..
..Gender is
just a word..
..Gender has no meaning in the
world..
..I'll break our embrace..
..And I will
kiss him..
..Passionately...
..Deeply..
..With
a wanton need to have something that will complete me..
..He
completes me...
..He a boy, me a boy..
..There is
no confusion..
..Only in emotion does it exist..
..I
will pick him up..
..Like an male angel bride in my
arms..
..I will place him gently on the bed..
..I
will undress as he does the same..
..I will commit acts that
are thought to be sins by some..
..I will..
..I
know I will..
..I want him so badly..
..I need
him..
..He's the only thing that will calm my fierce and
killing spirit..
..The only person I will refuse to speak
harshly in front of..
..The only person I will
love..
..Is him..
..Yes, love..
..I don't
believe I've ever spoken that
word..
..Ever...
..But...
..Love..
..That
is what I will do..
..Forever..
..To
him..
..I love him..
..I really do..
..Just
speaking his name makes me
cry..
..Tamaki...
..Tamaki...
..I love
you..
..I love you..