From Big Horn To Big Apple – It's More Than Just One Word
Pairing: Lindsay Monroe/Aiden Burn
Author: Steppenwolf
Fandom: CSI: NY
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer:I don't own them. No money, yadda, yadda, yadda!
Spoiler/Setting: Set shortly after Aiden is fired and Lindsay joins the team, so during/after 2.03, but way before 2.23 Heroes.
Summary: Lindsay is trying to fit in and gets some unexpected help.
Warnings: Two women enjoying each other; character death
Thanks: To my beta!smurf yellowsmurf6 and to my returned muse!
Lindsay felt alone. With all of those people around her, millions of people, she felt completely alone.
Lonely. She didn't know anyone here. Her co-workers seemed nice enough, and she was sure she would grow on them, earn their trust and their respect. But, those things needed time. She was aware of that. She couldn't even whine about it to her mother. She had told her to stay home in the first place. She would only tell her to come back if she was so utterly unhappy in that big, dangerous city that was New York. So, she told her mom that everything was fine. The job was great (which was true), her co-workers were nice (also true). She just didn't tell her that she missed home, missed her friends, missed the mountains. She didn't tell her that she felt lonely. And completely lost.
She felt lost. Not literally. She found her way around mostly. She even remembered where she had parked her car, how to avoid bad traffic, and which line to take if she decided to go to work by subway. Actually, she was adapting pretty well, all things considered. But when she was back home, in her apartment – not in Montana, in the evening and she finally had time to think with nobody there to distract her, then everything became kind of overwhelming. That's why she ended up in this bar around the corner.
She had seen it on her way to and from work and always thought she should check it out. And after this case, one that hit a little too close to home, she couldn't stand to be alone in her apartment. She needed distraction. People, music, noise. Anything but the calmness of her apartment. And some beer couldn't hurt either. Bartenders were supposed to be good listeners, maybe she could find one to talk to. Something casual; just some small talk. She never expected to find her first real friend in New York here, that evening of all evenings. But maybe there was a God who looked out for small town girls like herself after all. Maybe He had decided that she could use someone in her life to help her overcome those first difficult months in a new city, with a new job and only strangers around. Maybe this God even knew that she needed more than talking. Maybe that's why she met her in that bar.
Lindsay hadn't realized what kind of bar this was at first. From the outside it looked like any other bar to her. When she was inside, sitting on a stool at the bar and her first beer almost empty…only then did she notice the peculiar clientele. She nearly choked on her beer when a dark haired woman smiled at her from the other end of the bar. After she had stopped coughing and calmed down again, she smiled back at the other woman. It wasn't like she was homophobic; it had just been a surprise. She knew how to get rid of men who came too close. It wouldn't be that different with a woman. And she still had her badge and gun. She knew how to defend herself.
And then she all but burst out laughing at her own stupid thoughts. Just because a woman was a lesbian, she surely wasn't about to jump her. The brunette at the other end of the bar looked a little confused at her silent outburst. Obviously she was curious about what had caused her to laugh, because she came over with a smile on her face.
"Hey there. What's so funny? I really hope you're not laughing at me." She wasn't really serious though. Lindsay could tell because her tone was teasing and she was still smiling.
"Oh… nothing. Just my own stupidity, really. I didn't expect this to be a gay bar. I was lost in my thoughts, and when I realized… It was stupid really." Lindsay tried to explain without making a total ass out of herself.
"Yeah, that's what I thought. I've never seen you around. New to the Big Apple?"
"Yes. I only just moved here for a job."
"Well then, welcome to New York. I'm Aiden, by the way."
"Thanks. Lindsay."
They shook hands and Aiden held her hand a little longer than necessary, but Lindsay didn't mind. She liked the dark haired woman who seemed to be around her own age. She had never thought about women that way, not even in high school or college when everyone was all about experimenting. But the thought didn't frighten her now. She was in New York. Everything was new. Aiden was beautiful, after all, and talking to her was easy.
They talked for hours. Lindsay told Aiden how everything was so different from Montana, and how she was adapting. She told her about her work, just in general – no details of course, and about her lonely apartment. Aiden mostly just listened, and it felt like talking to her best friend from school all over again. Aiden promised to show her around, introduce her to some people, and was over all supportive. It was past midnight when Lindsay finally went home.
"Here, Linds. Take my number. If you feel like calling me… I'm working from home mostly, so if you need someone to talk to, you can call any time. I don't expect anything. Call me as a friend."
Lindsay took the offered napkin with the number on it and stuffed it in her back pocket.
"We'll see," she simply said, and then she leaned in and captured Aiden's full lips in a tentative kiss. She left Aiden speechless in front of the bar and hurried back to her apartment. She didn't feel all that lost anymore.
The next days were hectic at work, and she didn't get around to calling Aiden until the next Friday night. Again, they talked for hours and didn't fall asleep before dawn, but not without making plans for the following evening. And when Lindsay finally fell asleep, she felt giddy like a school girl, complete with butterflies in her stomach when she thought about Aiden. She couldn't wait to see her again, even if they were only meeting at the bar where they first met, and even if Aiden said she would bring some friends and they could all have some fun.
It took Lindsay forever to decide what to wear. It wasn't really a date, just meeting some people at the bar. She finally decided on some low cut faded jeans and a black button down shirt. Black boots with a small heel completed the outfit. She was excited, and it was the first time she felt like she belonged. It was the first time she couldn't wait for the evening to arrive.
The night was great. The friends Aiden brought were nice all around. Some of them had moved to New York from small towns like she did, and everyone assured her that it would get easier after these first rough times. But mostly, she talked with Aiden. She even said yes when Aiden asked her to dance.
It wasn't the least bit awkward dancing with Aiden like that. Close and slow with no space left between them, Aiden's arms sure and strong around her waist.
And it wasn't awkward at all when Aiden leaned in to kiss her and demanded entrance to her mouth, even if Lindsay had never kissed another woman before. It was anything but awkward. It started slow and sensual, and evolved into a full-fledged steaming hot kiss that left her panting and wanting more.
It also wasn't awkward walking back to her apartment with Aiden, leading her up the stairs and into her bedroom where they kissed again.
It wasn't even awkward to undress Aiden and to be undressed by her, slowly exploring every inch of uncovered skin with hands and tongues. Her fair skin was a mesmerizing contrast to Aiden's light bronze complexion. They ended up in a tangled mess of limbs on her bed because she didn't even have the time to turn the covers down. She needed more. She needed to feel Aiden; feel her weight on top of her; feel her breasts in her hands; feel her tongue on her abdomen going south; feel her inside her, filling her.
And it certainly wasn't awkward to beg for more, for harder, for faster and then coming hard and fast with her name on her lips in a cry of ecstasy.
Falling asleep and waking up in Aiden's arms wasn't awkward, either. But going back to work on Monday morning sure was.
Work was crazy. And between the crazy life in New York, and getting closer to her co-workers, she didn't realize that her talks and dates with Aiden became less frequent. It wasn't just Lindsay; Aiden was busy, too. And it wasn't that Lindsay didn't love Aiden, but she wasn't in love with her. And, of course, Lindsay was sad when one day in May, Aiden didn't return her call. But it didn't throw her world out of axis. She had settled in, she felt at home in New York.
Maybe that God who looked out for small town girls like herself had decided that she didn't need any more help in the big city. Maybe He had decided that she had overcome the difficulties of the first rough months, and that now it was her turn to help someone else. It was her turn to help to solve the murder of Aiden Burn.