The disclaimer telling you that I don't own any Galaxy Ranger characters has eloped. Just more fun from my tiny brain.
Supertrooper Wedding Bells
"If someone told me even a couple of weeks ago I would be doing something like this I would have thought they were candidates for either the booby hatch or the emergency ward," Stingray growled as he fiddled with his tie in the large room. Instead of his usual attire he was wearing a nice tuxedo.
"I think you look great in a tux Ray Man," Doc said. He and the other Galaxy Rangers were in dress uniform.
"Ray Man?" Stingray looked at Shane.
"He does that to everyone," Zach shrugged. "Ignore him."
"I can't believe I'm wearing this!" Ryder walked in with Noah, Billy and Zach Jr. They were all wearing tuxedos.
"I've been in full body combat uniforms that were more comfortable," Noah agreed. "Why are we dressed like this?"
"Today's a very important day," Shane said proudly. "Not only are Stingray and Darkstar getting legally married but it's the day that Premier Martin signs the Supertrooper Act into law."
"One good thing about martial law is that you can get things done more quickly," Zach grunted. "It's only been a week since the Civil War ended."
"Yes but this is a good bill that states that genetically engineered soldiers are people too and that past acts of creating and using them to fight Earth's wars were illegal," Doc pointed out. "Basically what it means is that Goose and his family will be legally recognized human beings with full civil rights."
"Nobody that was left on the Senate was willing to vote against this law no matter how much they hate me," Shane smirked. "There's still so much suspicion going on they're afraid to do anything to make them a target."
"I'm not so sure legalized slavery won't still exist," Stingray fidgeted with his tie on his tuxedo. "That's what marriage is you know? A piece of paper saying two people have bought and sold each other and the only way to get out of it is to give half your stuff away!"
"Marriage is not about that," Zach gave him a look. "Well it's not supposed to be anyway."
"Darkstar and I are life mates, pure and simple! Why do we need a piece of paper saying it?" Stingray snorted.
"Because that piece of paper is needed for the courts to show you two are in a stable relationship if you want physical custody of the kids," Doc gave him a look. "You know, the ones that aren't yours?"
"Yeah well…" Stingray grunted. "They ain't so bad. And Darkstar really wants to go the whole nine yards in this family thing. I mean we can't leave 'em with Gooseman! He's already too screwed up for anyone to deal with!"
"Thanks a lot," Shane groaned.
"I can feel the love," Ryder rolled his eyes.
"There you are!" Eliza walked in wearing a beautiful dress and carrying a bag over her shoulder as well as baby Dawnstar. "Boys! I need you to finish setting things up! Go! And Stingray! Take the baby!"
"But I ain't dressed yet!" Stingray protested as the boys rushed out.
"Well someone has to dress the baby and since the rest of us are trying to get dressed, you've been elected," Eliza handed the baby to Stingray.
"Oh goody," Stingray moaned.
"I'll take her," Doc smiled. "I picked out the cutest outfit for her to wear! Come on sweetie! Let's get dressed!" He placed her on the large couch and started to dress her with one of the outfits in the bag.
"Oh this has bad idea written all over it," Stingray moaned.
"You're not fooling anyone Stingray," Shane folded his arms. "You want the kids as much as she does."
"Maybe I just know what it's like to get uprooted from one place to another," Stingray shrugged. "Besides if this whole 'family' thing has to work I have to do something. I mean, you're the 'leader' Goose. Cheyenne is the Queen Mother and Darkstar is the Queen Mother in training. I gotta do something to pull my weight around here! Besides I am not gonna let another Ryker Kilbane evolve into the galaxy if I can help it! Ryder's a good kid and Noah's not so bad. And I like Billy even if he is human so…So why does this stupid tie itch?"
"Think of it this way," Doc said. "After you're married you two can legally qualify for an apartment here at BETA large enough for you and the kids."
"Stupid freaking regulations…" Stingray swore as he fidgeted with his tie. "Stupid freaking tie!"
"Let me help," Zach said going over to help him.
"This is ridiculous! Why am I doing this? Why am I…?" Stingray began.
The answer walked into the room followed by Eliza. "I don't care about any stupid superstitions! Bad luck shmad luck!" Darkstar barked. "I want to see Stingray!"
Darkstar was dressed in a beautiful strapless gown and hand a small veil trailing down her back. She had a silver necklace on and looked immaculate with makeup on and her hair partially up.
"Wow…" Stingray whistled. "Darkstar you're…"
"Still fat I know…" She sighed.
"No, I mean…You're amazing…" Stingray was completely smitten. "I've never seen you look more beautiful."
"I'm still fat," Darkstar grumbled.
"I told you, it's baby weight," Eliza said. "It will go away soon enough. You're already lost a lot."
"You're not fat at all," Stingray moved away from Zach before he could finish tying his tie. "You're beautiful. I've never seen you look so good."
"So Goose, you ready to give away your sister?" Zach asked.
"The whole 'giving the bride away' concept is pretty ridiculous to me," Darkstar snorted. "This is my choice and no one else's!"
"Including Stingray's," Doc quipped as he picked up Dawnstar, wearing a bright pink dress with a little pink bow in her hair. "Now aren't we all pretty for Mommy and Daddy's big day?"
"You put her in pink?" Darkstar turned on him. "Supertroopers don't wear pink!"
"But she looks so cute in it," Stingray blinked. "She's like a little princess!"
"Oh lord Stingray you have no idea how far you have gone off the deep end," Shane groaned. "And Doc you're close behind him!"
"Ignore him," Zach said. "Welcome to Fatherhood, Stingray."
"Are we ready yet?" Jessica walked in wearing a blue dress.
"As ready as I am ever going to be," Stingray threw away the tie. "It's my freaking wedding and I'm not gonna wear a stupid tie!"
"Stingray if Darkstar has to wear heels the least you have to do is wear a tie," Eliza said.
"I'm not wearing heels," Darkstar raised her dress. "These slippers are just fine. No one can see my feet anyway. He doesn't want to wear a tie, fine with me."
"This is gonna be some wedding," Zach groaned.
"I give up," Eliza sighed. "Let me take the baby."
"Guys you'd better hurry up," Niko walked in. She was wearing her dress uniform. "Bubblehead keeps trying to get into the punch bowl. And so is Commander Cain…"
"We'd better get this show on the road before those two put a show of their own on," Shane smirked.
"Yes the sooner we get this farce over with the better," Stingray grumbled.
Not far off one of the conference halls in BETA Mountain was decorated with balloons and festive wedding decorations. "When can we cut the cake? I want cake!" Bubblehead chirped. He was wearing a little tux.
"After the ceremony! And what do you care? You can't eat cake anyway!" Noah snapped. "You are an electronic bird!"
"I still like cake," Bubblehead said.
"I like cake too," Commander Cain grunted in his new Ranger Commander dress uniform. "And I really like punch!"
"None until after the ceremony!" Waldo groaned.
"Why not?" Cain asked.
"Because you're presiding over the ceremony and the last thing we need is you drunk!" Eliza said as she walked in with the baby.
"I'm not gonna get drunk! I just need some alcohol for my stage fright," Cain said. "Boosts my confidence!"
"Something tells me that a man who boldly tangos with another man's ex-wife on live Tri-D does not get stage fright!" Eliza remarked.
"I was encouraged by the mood and a fifth of Jack Daniels," Cain shrugged.
"I feel like an idiot dressed like this," Hari grumbled at her dress.
"I dunno," Dea said. "It's not that bad."
"Wow look at this place," Shane was amazed. "You guys did a great job."
"I want cake!" Bubblehead chirped.
"Can we get on with this?" Stingray asked as he and Darkstar walked in.
"You all realize that the baby is behaving better than all of you?" Eliza sighed. "Just get ready to walk down the aisle…"
"We're already here," Darkstar walked up with Stingray. "Let's go!"
"No! You can't do it like that!" Eliza said.
"Why not?" Darkstar asked.
"Yeah why not?" Cain asked.
"Oh forget it! Fine! Do whatever you want!" Eliza made her way to her seat. "Try to put on a nice wedding and what do I get? Impatient maniacs!"
"I'm cute! La la la!" Bubblehead flew by.
"I am going to like this wedding," Doc grinned.
There were a few other people there witnessing the ceremony. Commander Cain stood in front presiding. "All right everyone! We're gathered here today to witness the legal union of Darkstar and Stingray. Normally I'm not much of a fan for weddings because they usually end up in divorce. I know because I've caused one or two divorces in my time."
"We asked him to preside over the ceremony…Why?" Zach groaned.
"But unlike most of the high society schemers and gold diggers, Darkstar and Stingray actually care about each other," Cain went on. "And they're certainly not in it for the cash. So they're a head up over most other couples I've met. With one or two exceptions of course."
"Are all weddings supposed to be like this?" Bubblehead had landed on Buzzwang's shoulder. "Because this is a lot more fun than I thought."
"It's certainly not like what the etiquette books I downloaded said," Buzzwang said.
"Unless you have been living in a cave on Kirwin and kept your ears plugged you have probably guessed that these two here are Supertroopers," Cain spoke. "Now Wolf Den was the last place on Earth you would ever expect to find true love. But then again, with Supertroopers you gotta expect the unexpected. Somehow these two crazy kids found each other despite being conditioned to become killers and learned the one lesson they were never supposed to learn, how to love someone else. Which is pretty amazing if you consider the circumstances."
"Now I'm not much for sentimental crap but I figure if a relationship can survive genetic experimentation, being turned into a weapon then an outlaw and just plain insanity, it's got a more than reasonable chance of making it. And from what I've seen these two are going to be together for a long time. Hey their lives could have been a lot more screwed up if they hadn't found each other. Right Gooseman?"
"Like I don't have enough nightmares to make me scream my lungs out," Shane groaned.
"These two have a love that's built to last and it'll keep growing," Cain said. "I mean look at the little bundle of joy they've got there. So cute. You can tell she takes after her mother. So let's cut to the chase and get this over with so we can all have some vodka and cake. Okay Darkstar, do you take Stingray to have and hold? To keep him under control when he acts like an idiot, which is going to be often. To love him when he screws up royally and be happy when he actually does something right? To try not to say I told you so too often? And to let him think he actually thinks he knows what he's doing every now and then? For as long as you think it's a good idea?"
"I do," Darkstar smiled.
"And do you Stingray promise to do some damn housework every now and then?" Cain went on. "Help with the baby and not go drinking every night? Maybe take her out to dinner once in a while? To love her when she has her mood swings? To resist the urge to take a gun and put it to your head when she complains again about how you're not listening to her needs? To lie through your teeth when she asks if you are listening to her and what you think of the drapes when all you want to do is watch the game in peace? To not mention how many damn shoes she has in the closet but if you bring home one tiny extra golf club or tool she goes insane? Do you promise to love and put up with her for as long as she wants you? Because we all know here after today your freedom is pretty much over."
"Yeah but I'm gonna marry her anyway," Stingray smirked. "I do too."
"Now do either of you two have any vows or sentimental crap you wanna say to each other? Because now is the time to say it before I get completely bored," Cain asked.
"Yeah. This is so weird…" Darkstar said. "Stingray…I mean we've known each other forever and have been together for so long…But this feels like we're really taking a big step. I don't know why. All I know is that I love you and want to be with you."
"Darkstar…Well if this makes you happy then I'm all for it," Stingray smiled back. "Even when I was out of my mind all I ever wanted was for you to be happy. You're the only thing that made me sane. I don't ever want to live without you no matter how bossy you are. Let's face it. I'm not that good at planning and I need supervision."
"I kind of noticed," Darkstar smirked.
"I don't believe this," Zach put his hand on his forehead and shook his head.
"I know," Doc sniffed. "I think this is the most beautiful wedding I've ever seen!"
"Okay so now we've got all that crap out of the way," Cain said. "By the authority vested in me, because I'm the guy in charge of BETA now and can pretty much do whatever the hell I want around here…I now pronounce you husband and wife! You may now kiss the bride and open the buffet table!"
Stingray and Darkstar kissed. "YAY! DIVEBOMB!" Bubblehead cackled and flew around landing headfirst in the cake.
"Oh great!" Zach groaned as cake splattered everywhere and on almost everyone.
"Something tells me married life is going to be very interesting," Darkstar smirked.
"Not half as interesting as life in this nuthouse," Stingray groaned as he wiped cake from his face. "I got sane, for this?"