This is the first fic I've written in a loooooooooooooong time, and the first Grey's fic I've attempted. This storie's been told a few times before, but I thought I'd have my own try. I hope you like it, and look forward to hearing what you think.

Chapter 1

"Wow. Izzie Stevens has a day off work and the kitchen isn't filled with muffins. Something's wrong here."

"Coffee. I made coffee." Izzie was sitting at the kitchen table with her knees pulled to her chest and a half empty mug clutched in her hands.

Meredith appeared in the doorway behind George and rubbed her damp hair with a towel. "What, no baked goods?"

Izzie looked up. "What?"

George and Meredith looked at each other. "Iz, is everything alright?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?"

"You never told us why you wanted today off work, you've been acting strange for a couple of days. Is it your mom?"

Meredith walked past George into the kitchen and headed for the coffee pot. When her question got no response from Izzie she turned around.

"My mom's fine."

"You know we're here if you want to tell us.. Whatever it is" George said.

Izzie smiled. "Everything's fine, you're going to be late."

She drained her mug and stood up, walking out of the room. Meredith looked at George. "We don't have to leave for another half hour, what's up with her?"

The sun glinted off the freeway and Izzie had to squint to see the road ahead. It was rarely sunny in Seattle and usually she would welcome the sunshine but not today. For once she was willing it to rain. Or at least be grey. It would better suit Izzie's mood. An ominous cloud hanging overhead would make her feel like she wasn't the only one in the city who wasn't full of the joys of summer.

Izzie was the one who was always in a cheery mood, the one who everyone would moan at to shut up when they were tired and fed up and she was bouncing around like a kid on a sugar high. But today she felt sick. That nervous kind of sick you get in the pit of your stomach when you're anticipating an exam, or a first date. Only Izzie felt much worse.

The road curved to the left and she was now driving straight into the sun. She reached into the glove box and pulled out her shades, cursing the fact that she even needed them. She wanted rain. Should be driving north, she thought, away from the equator, not south.

She'd only been driving for 40 minutes, she had a long way to go yet. The further she had to go and the longer it would take, the more opportunity she'd have to chicken out. While she was dreading reaching Portland, part of her was wishing she could be there right now. This was something that just had to be done, she just had to suck it up and do it. It wasn't only about her.

She glanced at her purse on the passenger seat, and the crumpled white envelope sticking out the top. She'd read it over and over hundreds of times sinse she'd got it, she knew what it said by heart. What the author of the letter was requesting. She'd told herself for a while that there was no way she could drive to Portland and meet this woman. Apart from the fact she was utterly terrified, she had her job. She was a surgical intern, on one of the toughest programs in the country. She couldn't just take a day off could she? But she knew she needed to, so she did. She must have caught Bailey on a good day, Izzie didn't know how she'd convinced her resident to let her go.

For the past two weeks she'd been walking around in a daze. She was only half in the real world. Her other half was immersed in the letter and all that it meant. She was sure everyone had noticed a change, especially Meredith and George. Her mind was never fully on her patients. Bailey had probably realised that whatever she needed the day off for was vital to getting her head back in the game.

Izzie was getting sick of them asking her what was wrong, she wasn't going to tell them. Alex was the only one who'd stopped asking, he was seemingly the only one who could see that whatever it was she was hiding, she wanted to stay hidden. Alex Karev, Mr. Sensitivity? She never thought she'd see the day.

She sighed. They all meant well, her friends were just looking out for her. But this was something she just had to deal with on her own.

"Yang, you're with Burke on Mr. Faulkner's valve replacement, Grey, you're with me and O'Malley, pit…" Bailey paused and turned to Alex. "Karev. I know how much you loved your stint with Dr. Montgomery, so guess what?" She smiled one of her sarcastic smiles and, chart in hand, walked down the corridor.

"Hey." Meredith tapped Alex on the shoulder and he turned around. "Do you know what's up with Izzie? She's been acting strange."

Alex gave her a look of mild confusion and shrugged. "How would I know?"

"Because she tells you things."

Alex picked up his beeper off the reception desk and started walking towards the elevator. "No, she tells George things. Why would she talk to me?" It was Meredith's turn to give him a look, but he couldn't quite read it. "What?"

"Grey!" Bailey shot the interns a look from down the hall and Meredith rolled her eyes.

"Whatever, just… Just let me know if she says anything."

Izzie could've used a cigarette. She hadn't smoked sinse she was 15, but right now, she could use one. She stood at a gas station leaning against her car, staring at the traffic flying past. She discarded her empty Styrofoam coffee cup in the trash but made no attempt to climb back into her car.

She was in no hurry to get to her destination. But part of her just wanted to be there that instant, to save all the freaking out that was bound to come in the next hour before she got there. Experience told her that anticipation of something bad happening was always far worse than the actual event itself but right now her gut was ignoring common sense and she'd never felt more nervous in her life.

Her mind flashed once again to the letter that sat in her purse on the passenger seat and she mentally re-read it. It wasn't long, and didn't elaborate more than necessary, it just told her what she needed to hear. She knew the rest of the details she needed to hear in person.

She sighed. She just needed to suck it up and drive. Putting this off wasn't going to make it any easier, it was just going to prolong the agony. The place she needed to be was City General Hospital with the author of the letter, not sat on the hood of her car at a gas station.

She opened the car door and got in. After 15 minutes of watching cars roll by, she finally pulled back onto the freeway.

Izzie tentatively walked up to the nurses station on the Oncology ward and waited patiently for the nurse to hang up the phone, all the while the butterflies in her stomach were growing to an almost unbearable level.

The pretty blonde nurse said goodbye to the person on the other end of the line and smiled at her. "Are you looking for someone?"

Izzie tried to smile back but it felt more like a frown. "Yes, I'm here to see Sally Jenkins…"

"I'm sorry, visiting hours are over. You can come back this evening…"

Izzie interrupted. "It's important."

"Are you family?"

Izzie shook her head. "Not exactly. It's complicated. If you just tell her I'm here I'm sure she'll want to see me." The nurse didn't look convinced. "My name's Isobel Stevens. Please?"

The nurse nodded slowly. "Ok, I'll go and ask her."

The young woman walked onto the ward and left Izzie standing there. Her eyes darted round the room nervously. Why was this place making her feel so uncomfortable? She worked in a hospital every day, and one hospital looks pretty much the same as another. But she wasn't here to work, she was here for personal reasons, and that's what scared her. She liked being a doctor, she was good at it. Confronting personal stuff instead of medical stuff she was neither good at, or liked.

When the nurse returned after what was probably less time than Izzie thought, a wave of panic shot through her and she wanted to leave, but instead of running out the swinging double doors into the hallway, she slowly followed the nurse across the ward.

They stopped outside a curtain. "10 minutes, that's all." And the nurse walked away.

Izzie reached to pull back the curtain, fighting every instinct that was telling her not to. All this was too much. Delving into her past was something she never did, for a lot of reasons. But mostly because it was too painful and she didn't want to relive it. But this she had to do, and not only for herself.

She pulled the blue curtain open and the woman in the bed inside smiled at her. Izzie smiled back and tried to hide the turmoil of emotions inside her.

"Isobel, hi." Sally sat up in bed and wiped her nose with a tissue. "It's good to see you again."

"Izzie, please." She stepped inside and closed the curtain.

"Ah yes, I remember." She tucked her wavy blonde hair behind one ear and motioned for Izzie to sit down. "Thankyou for coming all this way, the letter must have been a bit of a shock."

Izzie nodded, but couldn't think of anything much to say. A million things to say had swam round in her head the entire way here but right now, every one of them escaped her. She put her bag on the floor and fidgeted in her seat, saying the only thing she could think of to break the silence.

"You want to talk about Hannah don't you?"