1.
The first time she sleeps with Makoto is just that—her first time.
She can't help but feel the slightest twinge in the back of her mind when he takes the lead—because of course he's more experienced, which leads her down the unpleasant road of thinking about just why he's so much more experienced—but she pushes the thought out of her mind the same way she pushes her tongue down his throat, hard as she can.
Afterwards, it seems to hit him that he's cheated on his girlfriend, and also on the girl that he's cheating on his girlfriend with (this is a goddamn soap opera, she thinks briefly, bitterly), and she smiles and waves him off, giving him what he wants by telling him to go before someone sees them together.
Her smile falls apart at the seams the moment he's gone.
When she looks down, she sees her own blood, a splash of red on the cold white mattress.
2.
The second time she sleeps with Makoto is a little better than the first time.
She has half a clue what she's doing, to start with.
When they're done, they sit side by side, legs dangling over the edge of the storeroom table, and she knows that a love story is a little too much to hope for, but she thinks that maybe, just maybe, she could get one chapter, if she hoped hard enough.
When he touches her hand, she remembers the feeling for hours later.
3.
The third time is only a couple of minutes after the first, when they're talking and he suddenly pulls her in for another kiss.
One more round.
This isn't what I wanted, she wants to cry out. This isn't it.
But it's what she asked for, and so of course she can't get out.
as much of a bitch as otome is, i appreciate the fact that she's in love with makoto. god knows why, of course, but still.