Disclaimer: I don't own Code Geass

If it's for you

Everyone stared as Lelouch Lamperouge glided down the hallway, looking as perfect as ever. In his hands were tall stacks of paperwork, the pages filled with goals of each and every student attending Ashford Academy. Annually, students filled out a form stating their goals. The students in the student council were the ones in charge of reading each and every one of them to be able to 'help the students in need' and to do whatever they could to make life better for the students at Ashford Academy.

Did I mention that they had to read each and every one of the pieces of paper? By lunch, all the members of the student council were ready to drop dead. Milly groaned. "I think by far, that I've seen more confession letters to Lelouch this year than any other." Lelouch looked over to her. "Well I haven't seen any. You're lying again aren't you?"

"W-Wha? Lelouch has been getting love letters?" Shirley asked, springing up from her chair. "Ehh? You didn't know?" questioned Milly. She, Lelouch, and Shirley were the only ones left in the room. Everyone else had either gotten bored or had something else they had to do. "N-no! It's not like I mind or anything! But I just didn't know so…" Lelouch sighed. The girls would continue talking about this for the next half an hour. Lelouch picked up the next sheet of paper in the pile. Incidentally, it was Suzaku's Kururugi's. Interested in the contents, Lelouch scanned the paper, looking for… ah. There it was, Suzaku's goals.

Horror. Pain. Unhappiness. Betrayed. Worry. Fear. Depression. Determination. Lelouch's head was filled with all of these emotions. The each and every word on the paper sank in as Milly and Shirley decided to leave the room to go back to the dorms. If they hadn't left, maybe… just maybe they could have called what was written a joke, anything. Even though it wouldn't be able to convince Lelouch, it could have possibly helped in the slightest bit.

For the next few days, Lelouch ghosted around the school, not socializing, but using his free time to stay in the student council room to finish up the paper work. He never went back to his room, only dropping by a few times to get some fresh clothes, a shower, and to check up on Nunnally. At times like these, he was grateful that Nunnally was blind. She wouldn't be able to see what he had been reduced to. Her courageous charismatic brother was now reduced to a half empty shell of what used to be Lelouch Lamperouge.

Milly and the others tried to pester the reason out of him, which was futile. Either Lelouch would evade the question or just avoid them altogether. They were getting frustrated so Suzaku was eventually sent over to ask Nunnally about Lelouch's status. "Huh? Onii-chan? Well, I'm not sure how he is. I mean he comes to check up on me once in a while but he usually doesn't stay long and I don't think he comes back for anything else." Suzaku nodded, understanding that Nunnally knew nothing. It was obvious, Lelouch would never tell her anything like that, knowing it would worry her, even if she already knew he wasn't acting like he usually was.

"So you just multiply it here, and then add, and now you have the answer. "Homework is the next page, and-" Just in time, the bell rang and the students filed out of the room for lunch. "Hey! Suzaku! Shirley! Let's go to the student council room after we grab something!" Shirley nodded and rushed off to the cafeteria, hoping that she wouldn't have to wait too long. After she left Milly pulled Suzaku to the side, hoping to have a few words with him. "Hey. Here's our chance! Lelouch is over there, so you go ask him what's wrong!"

"What? Why me?" Suzaku whispered back.

"You're his best friend right? You're supposed to know him really well. Besides, he'll probably talk to you instead of me." The knight sighed, submitting. "Fine. But don't expect anything."

Suzaku timidly walked over to the table where Lelouch was sitting, staring out the window in a trance. "L-Lelouch?" The said boy didn't answer, too lost in thought. "Lelouch." A little louder this time, hoping this tension would disappear. Suzaku wished that Lelouch would just turn around, give a snide remark, and then they could be on their way. But instead, Lelouch turned, and stared, but he didn't appear to be staring at Suzaku, but past him. "H-hey. Lelouch!" That snapped him out of his daze.

"S-Suzaku!" Wide eyed, Lelouch stared at him. "When'd you get there?" The knight sighed. "Y-yeah about that... anyways, Milly said that she needed us in the student council room so y-yeah! Uh. I'll see you there then." Damn. He messed up. He ruined the chance that he had. It had been perfect until he lost his confidence after seeing Lelouch and looking into his deep purple eyes, and his dark ebony hair and his pale skin… Suzaku turned and walked quickly to the door. "Wait. I don't think I can make it… so tell Milly I won't be there." Lelouch called after him. Suzaku pretended that he hadn't heard, and walked away.

"Well? What did you find out?" The stared intently at him, Milly and Shirley looked at him over their lunches. "Uhm…" Suzaku pitifully murmured. "I, uh, messed up."

"You did WHAT?" yelled Milly. Then she sighed, defeated, and picked at her food. "Well? What'd you say to him? I mean, you had to say something right? And he said something back too right?" Shirly said. She was determined to find at least something. "I asked him to come by but he said that he couldn't make it. I don't know what he's doing though." Suzaku slammed his forehead onto the table. "This is so irritating! He should just tell us what's wrong!" Milly whined. "Well, we could go look for him." suggested Shirley. "We don't have a clue where he could be!"

"Let's start in the garden."

They searched for hours on end, with no avail. Lelouch was nowhere to be found. No one had seen him recently unless in a class. It was as if he had just vanished into thin air. "Where is he? He couldn't have sneaked off campus right?" infuriated, Milly sat down on a bench, her fingers curling around the edge of the wood. "Maybe he went back sick." Shirley mused. "No. I checked the dorms." Suzaku said. "We'll just have to look tomorrow. Maybe… we'll have more luck then."

"Ah! Lelouch! How are you? We haven't talked for a while." Shirley kept up with Lelouch as they headed to the next class they had. "Fine." He replied curtly. His eyes were slightly glazed over. He didn't even look in the girl's direction. "Well, uh, maybe let's grab some lunch later on alright?" Lelouch frowned slightly, though he didn't look like he was listening to her. "I won't be able to… I'm quite busy…" Lelouch sped up his pace, people moving over to let him pass through. "Eh? But at least drop by alright?" Shirley persisted. "But I'm really busy…"

"But!"

"I'm sorry, I won't be able to make it…" and then Lelouch turned and entered the room to their left. Shirley groaned. This wasn't easy.

"WHAT? You couldn't find anything out either?" Milly was about to yank all of her hair off in frustration. "How did he manage that? You did ask him how he was right? What'd he say? You did ask what was wrong right? Did he say he was sick? A headache? Maybe a fever? WHAT DID HE SAY?" Milly screamed.

Shirley slid down her seat, knowing she failed big time. "Well, like Suzaku, I asked him to come but he told me he was busy!" Milly paced around in the spacious room. The two girls were the only ones in the room this time. Everyone else was busy with their student council duties that were issued to them by Milly. "Argh! Why does Lelouch have to be so difficult?" She slammed her hands onto the abused table. "I'm so going to find him and get the truth!"

Milly was going on a rampage. She wouldn't leave a stone unturned until she found the violet eyed vice president. "Lelouch! Where are you?" The president rushed through the school, and everyone parted as she ran past, not wanting to be run over.

Lelouch looked up from his book. He had been reading in the corner of the library, until the peaceful harmony of the library had been disturbed by Milly. "LELOUCH!" she yelled. The librarian looked up to yell at whoever was yelling, but when she saw Milly, she knew better than to mess with the Ashford girl. "Where have you been!" she screamed. "I've been looking for you forever! What's wrong with you? You've been so gloomy! It's like you have a giant black raincloud over your head or something! Everyone's worried so tell me what's wrong!" Lelouch looked at her blankly, as if not registering what she was saying. They looked at each other for a minute then Milly sighed. "What's wrong Lelouch?" He vacantly stared up at her then responed softly. "I… just didn't feel too well so I needed a break…" Milly softened with understanding. "Well, tell us next time! We were worried." She winked as she turned away. "But don't worry. Take as much time off as you need."

He was determined. Lelouch was determined to set things right. He wanted to make his friend happy. He would accomplish that, even if he couldn't do anything else. At 11:45 when he was sure that Nunnally was fast asleep, Lelouch snuck away in his Zero outfit. He climbed out of his window and dropped to the ground easily. Running quickly, even though it would be a pain for him, he arrived at another part of the dorms. Knocking, he waited quietly for the expected person to open the door.

Suzaku yawned. Who could be at the door at this hour? No person in his right mind, that's for sure. "Yes?" He called, unlocking and opening the door, then BAM something hit him.

Suzaku's arms were tied behind his back, a gag in his mouth so he wouldn't be able to speak. The brunette was also blind folded and the ropes on his wrists were connected to the bedpost, as his ankles were bound together. Suzaku kept struggling. "And I thought you wouldn't be easy prey." Zero whispered softly.

Suzaku visibly tensed. It was Zero that had tied him up? Damn. He was going to kill the terrorist after he got out of these binds. Not just kill, but brutally torture to death. Zero caressed his face. "Now don't struggle too much alright? I only want to say a few words. Before…" They both stayed quiet for a few seconds. "Suzaku Kururugi. I beg of you." Suzaku was surprised, a terrorist begging him to do something? "Take care of Nunnally and everyone else."

Lelouch? He wanted to ask. Could it be? Who else would stress over taking care of Nunnally? It couldn't be any of the student council members and Suzaku didn't know any of the other students that well. It's not like anyone else really cared as much about Nunnally than Lelouch so it had to be… "I'll fulfill your wish for you. But, I hope you'll always… remember me afterwards as a friend instead of just a killer opposing you in the war… and I know I can leave Nunnally with you, please keep her safe. I know Milly and everyone else can be a handful, but they'll need to depend on you. Suzaku, I'm doing this of my own will, so if anyone asks, you'll be the knight that slayed Zero, but Lelouch Lamperouge will be the boy who had just an accident and mysteriously disappeared alright?"

It was Lelouch. Suzaku could feel a lump in his throat. What was he thinking? Well, Suzaku rationalized, he was part of the student council, so he could have read his paper… and pretended to be Zero so he wouldn't need to engage in combat with the terrorist? Did Lelouch care about him that much? "I'm sure you're thinking that I'm pretending right, Suzaku?" How did… "It's obvious. I know you. But it's true. I'm the real deal. I wanted to create a new world, a utopia. That way, no one would need to feel sad, suffer, there wouldn't be poverty… a dream world." Lelouch ran a gloved hand through Suzaku's hair. "But I guess I did more bad than good." A Suzaku felt the blade of a knife at his neck. "Do you know what this is? I'm sure you've guessed it. It's a knife, Suzaku." The knife left his neck. "And do you know what to do with a knife?"

Suzaku wanted to scream. Was Lelouch going to kill him? But why? Did Lelouch take it personally that he wanted to kill Zero? But he hadn't known! Was he going to be stabbed? Or cut? He hadn't known that his best friend was a terrorist with a huge sum over his head. Well, Suzaku wouldn't have known what to do if he had known anyways. Would he choose his duty over his best friend's life?

"Shh… don't worry, Suzaku. I told you already. Someone has to take care of Nunnally and everyone, I won't kill you."

I won't kill you.

Yeah right. Only stab me until I'm left here to bleed to death? Or are you going to condemn me to a life full of misery because I wanted to get rid of a terrorist that's causing so much pain to everyone? Is that it? Lelouch! Snap out of it… please… I beg of you… don't do this. Don't do this to Nunnally… but more importantly, yourself.

"You're probably tired of hearing me talk, huh." Zero leaned forward, to whisper into Suzaku's ear. "Well this is the end of my speech. But I'd like you to know…" Suzaku wanted to yell and shout.

No…

The next day, Suzaku was found in his room by Rivalz who had come in to check up on him. Though surprised, the boy still managed to unite the knight and release him from the ropes that kept him in place all night even though the room reeked of blood. They didn't know what to do with the body of Zero. Suzaku refused to let Rivalz unmask the terrorist, even though the boy was just joking about it. He was too scared that the terrorist would just suddenly sit up and slit his throat… or maybe shoot him or something.

"So… what really happened?" Suzaku had asked Gino to come along with him as he visited Zero's grave, as it was the first anniversary of his death. They had buried the terrorist without unmasking him as per request of Suzaku.

Gino sighed. "Does this have to do with that Lelouch kid you always talk about? I mean I know they never found his body even though there was a suicide note on his desk, but why visit Zero's grave?"

"Well, he did die on top of me right? And I'm getting the credit for 'killing' him." Suzaku stated, trying to keep his voice void of emotion. He didn't feel like talking, guessing that his voice would slip and he would end up crying. In his hands, he held a bouquet of white lilies to put on the grave. "So? It's not like he was special to you or anything right?" Gino was still trying to get an answer from him. As they reached the top of the hill, where a lone stone was put into a ground, Gino decided that he'd pester the boy afterwards, knowing that he needed some time alone. "I'll leave you alone for now alright? I'll be back there so call if you need!"

Suzaku could remember that night like it was yesterday. Lelouch in his Zero costume lying on top of him, Suzaku tied up and completely vulnerable, and the smell of blood.

… if it's for you, I'd do anything.

It had practically been a confession of love. It could have also passed as regret, the fact that Suzaku's wants had been what had taken out the man. He'd never find out. How would he ask? Zero- no- Lelouch was dead, he had stabbed himself right through the heart. Suzaku could remember the hiss of pain from Lelouch when he forcefully thrust the knife into his own heart, killing him quickly. He could just imagine the tears that Lelouch had cried because of the pain he felt. But Suzaku had no idea why Lelouch would have just done that. Normally, Lelouch would have just smirk and think of the 'goal' he had written as a challenge to him right? But why did he go to such lengths to fulfill his wish?

Then it clicked. It was the same reason why Suzaku knew he would totally regret giving Britannia Zero if he had known it was Lelouch. It was love. After he thought about it… Lelouch had tried to show his love countless of times. He had always seemed a little more… careful around him, as if he was worried that Suzaku would break like if you held a glass too tightly, but it's drop to the ground and shatter if you didn't hold it tightly enough. He'd always go out of his way to spend more time with him than others, which caused him to ditch his student council meetings often.

Suzaku hadn't realized it before. He had only started to decode his own feelings, which he had recently realized was love. He had loved the damn terrorist back. No, not the Zero side of the man, but Lelouch, the side that was a clumsy, athletically retarded guy that was protective of the things he loved.

Suaku screamed. He honestly didn't know why, but he just had to. The pain in his chest was too much for him. The high pitched screams alerted Gino from the bottom of the hill, causing the man to start running quickly up the very steep and tall grassy hill.

Suzaku felt warm tears leaking out of his eyes, causing him to shut them. No matter how many tears he wiped away, they kept spilling out. When the pain suddenly stopped, he felt a gust of wind at his left side. He opened his eyes and he… was he hallucinating?

Lelouch sat there, a smile on his face, his purple eyes shone with a mixture of happiness and sadness. Not miserable, but apologetic. "Su…za…ku…"

"L-Lelouch?" Gino groaned as he heard Suzaku utter that name again. He knew Suzaku loved the boy as it was obvious to everyone but the boy himself but wasn't this a bit… odd? He's standing at the wrong grave! Besides, he had talked to Lelouch a few times and he knew that Lelouch was the kind of person that would hate to pass on if Suzaku was going to continue brooding over his death. Gino eventually, after much effort, was close to where Suzaku was standing. He could see the brown haired boy clearly from where he was and… who was that? The kid had black hair and deep violet eyes… just like Lelouch. But he was slightly transparent. What was going on?

"Lelouch…?" Suzaku stared at the half transparent… ghost? That was sitting on the hill, watching the clouds. Lelouch stood up and turned to face him.

"Don't worry about me… because if it's for you, I'd do anything."

Then, with the harsly blowing winds, Lelouch disappeared in the millisecond that it took for Suzaku to blink. He could still hear his last words echoing in his mind.

"Suzaku… what just happened?" Gino came up beside him, not even bothering to attempt to scare the knight. "I don't know…" Suzaku whispered. He could still hear it though, Lelouch's voice. It kept repeating it over and over.

If it's for you…

The end.