Note: Harry Potter was created by J. K. Rowling and is a film series owned by Warner Bros.

Hermione Granger calmly stepped out of Hogwarts, unaware of the upcoming trouble. She started walking around the hallways of Hogwarts, while heading to her first class of the day. During her walk, she felt someone touching her shoulder. She doubted it was a threat, but in case it was, she had her wand ready. She tried to not sound nervous, while asking, "Who's there?"

Luna Lovegood said, "Hi Hermione."

Hermione sighed with relief, while feeling glad that Luna was there, instead of an evil threat. She said, "Hi Luna. What's going on?"

Luna handed Hermione one of her books back and said, "Thank you for letting me borrow it."

Hermione carefully looked at the book, to make sure that there were no missing pages or stains. After taking a long look at it, she was relieved that it was clean. She said, "Well done. I stopped letting Ron borrow my books, because he kept spilling snacks and sodas on the pages."

Luna smiled and replied, "Sounds like you have fun friends."

Hermione responded, "They're more chaotic than fun." Professor Snape nodded in agreement.

Luna said, "You must live a crazy life, girlfriend."

Hermione raised an eyebrow and asked, "What did you call me?"

Luna explained, "It's just a thing close friends call each other."

Hermione replied, "Oh, I've never been called that before. That doesn't I don't have close friends, right?"

Luna responded, "I'm sure you have plenty."

Hermione saw Ginny Weasley walking by, so she said, "Hi girlfriend."

Ginny paused, while trying to remember Hermione's name. She said, "Your name's Her Money, right?"

Hermione replied, "It's Hermione, but you can call me girlfriend or something like that." Ginny shrugged and walked away.

Hermione looked back at Luna and said, "It seems like I'm not as popular, at Hogwarts, as I thought I was."

Luna replied, "Don't sell yourself short. You have that pottery maker and that weaselly Ronald McDonald."

Hermione sighed and responded, "Harry doesn't make pottery and Ron isn't a fast food clown, even he eats five bags of it per day and acts like the clown prince of Hogwarts."

Luna replied, "Sorry girlfriend, but I'm a lovely and good planet, not a people expert."

Hermione folded her arms and said, "Luna, are you taking people's names literally, again?"

Luna replied, "Maybe I am. To be honest, I used to think you were a farmer."

Hermione responded, "I need to help you work on that. However, I better start heading to class. I'll see you later."

Luna replied, "I love your good idea."

Hermione continued heading to class. She walked by Harry Potter, who looked happier than usual. She walked by and said, "Hi Harry. Is there any news I should know about?"

Harry answered, "You could say that."

Hermione replied, "Spit it out." Luna spat her milk on the wall. Hermione sighed and said, "I wasn't talking to you and you were taking things too literally." Luna nervously giggled and started cleaning the wall.

Harry said, "Yesterday, during broom practice, I didn't fall off the broom. It was the first time I didn't get hurt. The nurses were shocked, that I didn't need a checkup."

Hermione replied, "Sounds like you're improving. I'm proud of you, boyfriend." Harry had a shocked look on his face. Since female friends call each other girlfriend, Hermione thought she was supposed to call her male friends boyfriend. Hermione noticed Harry's weirded out expression, so she asked, "Are you okay?"

Harry answered, "Um, I think so. I better get to class."

Hermione replied, "Me too."

Harry got to the classroom and purposely sat far away from Hermione, because he was starting to feel flustered around her.

Ronald Weasley got to class, a few seconds before it started. He sat next to Harry and said, "Bro, we're sitting three rows away from Hermione. Is she mad at us?"

Harry whispered, "Something really weird happened."

Ron asked, "What?"

Harry whispered, "Hermione called me her boyfriend."

Ron said, "What?! How could you and Hermione start dating?"

Harry replied, "If we went on a date, I know nothing about it."

Ron asked, "How could you do that? You know I like her." He paused and said, "Of course I don't like her romantically. I'm just saying that, since I'm such a good friend of hers and I'm not sure you're her type."

Harry replied, "Well she's the one who called me boyfriend."

Ron responded, "That's weird."

Professor Snape angrily stared at Harry and Ron and asked, "Do you think the beginning of class is an appropriate time to start talking?"

Ron casually said, "More or less."

Professor Snape shook his head. A mischievous smile crept upon his face, while saying, "Since you two love chatting it up so much, you can chatter during your lunch detention."

Ron asked, "We're getting another lunch detention?"

Professor Snape answered, "Indeed you are. My classes are important, yet you often don't listen."

Ron replied, "We were talking about something important."

Professor Snape asked, "What could be more important than class?"

Ron answered, "Romantic drama."

Professor Snape rolled his eyes and replied, "Your detentions are well-earned. Also, romance is overrated."

After class was over, Harry and Ron were still thinking about Hermione. Harry said, "Ron, I don't want you to get jealous or mad at me, I also don't know what's going on. What should I do?"

Ron replied, "Say something to her and pay attention to what she calls you."

Harry responded, "Okay, but what should I say to her?"

Ron said, "Say any random thing. It hardly matters."

Harry walked up to Hermione, while wondering what he should say. Hermione saw him, so she said, "Hi Harry. What's going on?"

Harry figured complimenting her was the best choice to make. He said, "You have really nice looking hair."

Hermione was surprised to hear that, but she said, "Thank you. I don't spend much time on it."

Harry replied, "I spend plenty of time on my hair and I still look silly." Snape nodded in agreement.

Hermione responded, "Your hair looks nice. Don't worry about it."

Harry replied, "Thank you."

Hermione looked at the clock and responded, "Wowsers, you're going to make me late for our next class."

Harry replied, "I'm sorry."

Hermione responded, "I know a short-cut, so I'll be fine. I'll see you later, boyfriend."

Harry had another shocked look on his face. He ran up to Ron and said, "Once again, she called me her boyfriend."

Ron had a nervous look on his face, while asking, "You know what this means? She might be getting a crush on you."

Harry asked, "Really? To be honest, that's kind of flattering."

Ron had a mildly annoyed look on his face, while saying, "Excuse me?"

Harry said, "I'm sorry, but I'm not used to people liking, especially in that kind of way."

Ron replied, "I guess I'm happy for you." Ron had a jealous look on his face.

During lunchtime, Ginny noticed that Harry wasn't in the lunchroom, so she asked Hermione, "Where's Harry?"

Hermione answered, "That old boyfriend got another detention?"

Ginny had a surprised look on her face, while asking, "What did you call Harry?"

Hermione said, "Speaking of Harry, he's been acting weird whenever I call him boyfriend. I don't know what that's about."

Luna nudged her and replied, "I was expecting you to Ron your boyfriend, instead of the pottery guy."

Hermione responded, "Maybe I should start calling Ron that too."

Luna replied, "You couldn't do that. You can only have one boyfriend."

Hermione had a confused look on her face, while asking, "What do you mean?"

Luna said, "Excuse me for a moment. I have something to do." She left the lunchroom.

Ginny thought that Hermione and Harry were actually dating and she was pretty jealous about that. She looked at Hermione and asked, "How long have you liked Harry?"

Hermione answered, "Well, I've pretty much always liked him. I've never been fond of his and Ron's antics, but other than that, he's a nice fellow."

Ginny said, "So, you and Harry are girlfriend and boyfriend now?"

Hermione replied, "I guess we are, although he hasn't called me that yet."

Meanwhile, Harry and Ron were in the detention room. After Ron ate his and Harry's lunch, he said, "We should put on the invisibility cloak and leave this dumb place."

Harry replied, "I wish we could, but I don't want Snape to get even angrier."

Luna snuck into the room and said, "Hi guys."

Ron said, "If she snuck in, while visible, it should be easy for us to sneak out, while invisible."

Luna replied, "You probably wish you could sneak away from this romantic drama."

Harry looked at her and asked, "You know about Hermione?"

Luna nodded and said, "She called you her boyfriend."

Harry facepalmed and asked, "What am I supposed to do?"

Ron nudged Harry and replied, "If you were a good friend, you'd tell Hermione to hit the road and you'd give her my number."

Luna said, "Ron, has Hermione ever called you her boyfriend?"

Ron thought about it and replied, "No she hasn't."

Luna responded, "Then she's probably interested in Harry, not you."

A sneaky idea came into Ron's head. He used a napkin, to cover up his mischievous smile, while saying, "I have a great idea."

Harry replied, "Spit it out." Luna spat a candy bar onto the chalkboard. Harry said, "That's not what I meant."

Ron responded, "Harry, do you like Hermione?"

Harry said, "Of course I like her. However, I'm not sure what kind of liking that refers to."

Ron put his arm around Harry and replied, "Don't worry, my friend. I know how to solve this. You ask Hermione out and if things go badly, you can just end this drama and go back to being friends."

Harry responded, "Not a bad plan, but what if Hermione and I have a good time?"

Ron cringed at the thought of that. He said, "If such a silly notion came true, I'd be happy for you."

Harry replied, "I appreciate that, but I've never been on a date before."

Ron responded, "Don't worry about it. Take her to the restaurant across the street. I'll be there."

Harry asked, "Who will you be with?"

Ron looked around the room and saw that Luna was still there. He asked, "Will you be my pretend date?"

Luna said, "Sure, but I'm not fond of the pretend part."

Ron replied, "Don't worry, ladies and gentleman. Everything's going to be great."

After detention was over, Harry walked around the hallways and found Hermione. Hermione walked up to him and said, "Hi Harry. I've noticed you've been acting weird."

Harry nervously chuckled and replied, "I'm a weirdo." Snape nodded in agreement.

Hermione said, "Anyways you don't seem to like me calling you boyfriend."

Harry replied, "I wouldn't say I dislike it, but it was kind of surprising and embarrassing."

Hermione had a puzzled look on her face, while saying, "I don't know why you'd feel that way."

Harry replied, "Speaking of that, I was wondering if you'd have dinner with me. We could go to the restaurant across the street."

Hermione responded, "I've been skipping dinner recently, because I've been caught up on my reading."

Harry jokingly asked, "Do you read a dozen books, each night?"

Hermione jokingly asked, "You think I'd just read a few dozen? I've been reading fifty books a night, since I was two." Harry chuckled. Hermione said, "Anyways, I'll see you then, boyfriend." Harry started walking to Ron. He told him what happened.

Ron ran up to Hermione. Hermione said, "Hi Ron. I wish I could talk, but I need to get to class."

Ron replied, "Speaking of class, I need to ask who you whose more classy: Me or Harry?"

Hermione responded, "Well no offense, but you're not exactly the captain of fanciness."

Ron replied, "Well who do you like more: The charming and fun Ron or the weak and goofy Harry?"

Hermione said, "I suppose I like you equally. After all, you are my boyfriends."

Ron had a shocked look on his face, while asking, "Boyfriends?"

Hermione said, "Speaking of that, Harry and I were planning on getting dinner. Would you like to join us?"

Ron replied, "I was planning on being there. Me and Luna made plans to go there."

Hermione responded, "She should join us. It'll be nice having my girlfriend and two boyfriends in the same place."

Ron had a weirded out look on his face, while saying, "Whatever you say." After Hermione walked away, Ron whispered, "My plan's become even better. Hermione is clearly getting a crush on me. I'll make sure she forgets about him." He did a Tony Jay impression, while saying, "I've got to have Hermione. No less, no less."

After school, Hermione arrived at the fast food place. She didn't think this event was a date, so she was wearing a normal shirt and jeans. However, Harry came in, wearing a black tuxedo.

Hermione said, "Hi Harry. Why are you dressed so fancy?"

Harry replied, "Well, I wanted to look nice. Am I overdressed?"

Hermione responded, "You probably are, but it's a nice look."

Harry replied, "Thank you. You also look good."

Hermione responded, "Yeah right. I look like I'm wearing pajamas, compared to you."

Harry said, "No, you look beautiful."

Hermione was surprised, but flattered to hear that. She said, "I wasn't expecting to hear that from you. Thank you." She gave him a hug. Harry and Hermione had hugged several times, but that was before this romantic chaos started. The hug made Harry blush. Hermione looked at him and asked, "Why is your face getting red?"

Harry answered, "Don't worry about it."

Hermione said, "We better start ordering." Harry nodded and they started ordering their dinner.

A few minutes later, Luna walked in, wearing a blue dress and Ron walked in, wearing a tuxedo he got from Goodwill. They ordered and sat at Hermione and Harry's table. Hermione hugged both of them. Ron blushed, because of the hug.

Hermione looked at Luna and said, "Hi girlfriend." Luna said the same thing to Hermione.

Hermione looked at Ron and said, "Hi boyfriend." Harry and Ron had surprised looks on their faces. Hermione noticed that, so she asked, "What's going on?"

Ron answered, "You've never called me boyfriend before."

Hermione replied, "You're right. Maybe I should start calling you that."

Ron had a smug smile on his face, while saying, "Perhaps you should."

Harry had a jealous look on his face, while saying, "Hermione, I thought you wanted me to be your boyfriend."

Hermione replied, "You're both boyfriends of mine."

Harry and Ron screamed, "What are you talking about?!"

Hermione asked, "Aren't we all girlfriends and boyfriends?"

Harry had a confused look on his face, while asking, "Who's dating who?"

Ron smiled and said, "I'm dating Hermione."

Luna nudged him and asked, "Have you forgotten about me?"

Ron answered, "More or less."

Luna replied, "I can see why you're named Weasley. You're a weaselly person."

Ron responded, "Hey."

Luna replied, "I'm sorry, but I don't like you asking me out and ignoring me."

Ron said, "Hey, you're my pretend girlfriend."

Harry replied, "I've been pretending to know what's going, but it's a real struggle."

Hermione looked at him and responded, "I understand how you feel, boyfriend."

Ron angrily grabbed Harry's food and started eating it, while saying, "You should call me your boyfriend, not Harry."

Hermione asked, "Can't I call you both boyfriend?"

The boys answered, "No."

Hermione had a confused look on her face, while asking, "Why not?"

Luna was finally starting to realize what's going on, so she said, "Hermione, can you come with me?"

Hermione replied, "Um, sure."

Hermione and Luna went into the ladies' room. Hermione asked, "What's going on?"

Luna nervously smiled and answered, "I accidentally got you and the boys into an embarrassing situation."

Hermione asked, "What did you do?"

Luna said, "I told you that female friends call each other girlfriend, which is true. However, female friends don't call their male friends boyfriend. They only call the person, that they're dating, boyfriend."

Hermione looked a little frustrated, while replying, "That's a confusing name system." She paused and said, "So when I called Harry boyfriend, he thought I wanted to date him?"

Luna nodded and said, "Yeah and it made Ron jealous."

Hermione asked, "My two closest guy friends have a crush on me?"

Luna answered, "Seems like it."

Hermione replied, "Despite how immature they can be, I hope they have the maturity to not fight over me." She and Luna walked out of the restroom and saw Harry and Ron, who were using their wands to fight each other.

Hermione walked up to them and said, "Cut it out. I made a mistake. I thought boyfriends was a word, that had a different meaning. I was wrong and I'm sorry, but that's no excuse for this fight."

Harry thought about it and agreed with Hermione. He looked at Ron and said, "I'm really sorry. You and Hermione are my best friends and I almost ruined everything, because of my jealously."

Ron sighed and replied, "I was more jealous than you. I was acting like a selfish and immature fool." Snape, who just happened to be at the restaurant, nodded in agreement.

Harry looked at Ron and said, "If you forgive me, I'll forgive you."

Ron replied, "Sounds like a fair exchange." They shook hands.

Hermione smirked and said, "So, you both have a crush on me?"

Harry nervously replied, "I don't know."

Ron responded, "Um, I have no comment."

Hermione said, "If you ever figure it out, call me."

Harry and Ron both asked, "Which one of us is supposed to call you?" Hermione winked and walked out.

Hermione and Luna started heading back to Hogwarts. Hermione looked at Luna and said, "That was a rough and chaotic night."

Luna lightly smiled and replied, "Maybe, but it was also fun. So, which of the boys do you have a bigger crush on?"

Hermione responded, "Some answers are meant to stay in the chamber of secrets."

Harry looked at Professor Snape and said, "You were right. Romance is overrated."

Professor Snape replied, "I told you so."