I doubt if the ancient Chinese truly celebrated Valentine's Day, to be sure, but the Kung Fu Panda universe does use a lot of historic license in the name of humour, after all. I've had this idea on my mind for several months, but I thought it appropriate if I wait for Valentine's Day, when readers are most in the mood. Just to be safe, I will note: At the time this fanfic is published, I have not viewed the KFP shorts/specials/TV series/comics, so my interpretations of the characters used here are solely based on the two feature films.
All characters used belong to DreamWorks.
Master Shifu moves with stealth through the Jade Palace halls, and out into the entrance. Gracefully hopping from wall to wall, and in and out of corners and behind columns and objects of décor, he is confident he can make it out into the gardens of the palace unseen. That is most important to him, as he makes off on this little "errand" of his.
Not that what he is doing is wrong, disgraceful, or against his honour. That is never Shifu's way. No, he only doesn't want to be met by his students at present because what he is doing is so out of character. To tell the truth, he enjoys coming off as austere, no-nonsense, and authoritative to his pupils, and men like that just don't do the sort of thing he's doing now.
Out front, the Dragon Warrior and the Furious Five are training together in the beautiful palace garden. Master Po leaps up high into the air, somersaulting as he does so. Seeing Masters Monkey and Crane closing in on him on either side, he then rapidly unfolds and shoots his legs out to his sides, squaring them in their faces with perfect timing. They each collapse to the ground and Po lands upright between them."HA! I did it! Did you see that, Tigress?" Po excitedly turns and calls to his favourite of the Five. "Monkey to the left! Crane to the right! And I nailed'em in one! Po goes pow! He goes POW! He knocks them all out in one big, awesome sweep! Yeah!"
Master Tigress stands, arms folded, smirking at her comrade's self-cheerleading. "You did very well, Master Po," she reviews formally.
Po is still punching the air and silently mouthing his own words of praise, when suddenly he sees his master at the gates, subtly glancing over his shoulder, then pressing the gate doors open and almost slipping out, before -
"Shifu! Hey! Master Shifu!" Po calls out.
Shifu twitches for a moment, gritting his teeth, then sighs and turns to face the giant panda. "What is it?" he growls.
"Did you see me back there? I was sailing, no, I was soaring through the air like a shooting star! And then I was like, bam! on Monkey, and smash! on Crane! Man, it was just awesome!… right?" Po blinks after a pause, on that last line, when he gets no reaction except a cocked brow and an impatiently firm jaw from Shifu. It is then that he spies what looks to be the tops of two red orbs peeking out from behind the aged red panda's back. "Hey, what's that?" Po points, his earlier victory forgotten for the moment and his interest piqued.
Shifu goes wide-eyed and glances back. "That? That's none of your concern, Panda!" he quietly snaps.
Ignoring his words, Po goes around him to get a better look. "Hey, it's a red heart - it's a Valentine! Hey guys! Come and see this! Master Shifu's got a Valentine for somebody! So who's it for? Is it for me!"
Shifu rolls his eyes at that absurd notion and inches sideways to the door, in order to make it clear he wants this "hot topic" to be pursued no further. Po doesn't take the message, and continues to ask, "Is it for one of us? Oh! Oh! Is it for that old rabbit lady with the ear-flop problem, who uses her chop sticks to hold them up, but like, always forgets about it when she's eating and keeps getting her ears in her rice?"
"No, now would you go away!" Shifu mutters, but Po keeps persisting, and coming up with more and more outlandish guesses as to who the mysterious recipient of that gift might be. Finally, Shifu yells, "Enough! Get back to your training, Po! Yes, I have a Valentine for someone, but no, it is not for you, or for anybody here, so leave it alone!"
By now, the Five, minus a still-unconcious Monkey and Crane, have been watching this spectacle for some time. Po stares at his master agape, before saying quietly, "Uh… sorry? I didn't mean to -"
"Then don't!" Shifu says angrily, but not quite so audibly as before, then he flips atop of the gate in the blink of an eye, down again on the other side, and makes off.
"Man, what's his problem?" Master Mantis says after a dead-quiet moment of astonishment wears off.
"You shouldn't have kept on about it, Po," Tigress scolds in a firm voice.
"Isn't it sweet, guys?" Master Viper says sincerely. "Master Shifu's got a crush!"
"Man, I'd like a bite from the love bug one of these days!" Mantis sulks enviously. "I could just see it: You know we'd go into town, on a starry night, and we'd have dinner at a restaurant, with paper lanterns lighting the yard everywhere, and then we'd walk together through the trees outside of town, and we'd be all -"
Po, Tigress, and Viper roll their eyes and agree wordlessly to just walk away and let the bug rant on his own. How and why he always has to make every discussion about himself, they'll never understand.
"And then, then guys, she'd do it! She'd bite my head right off! I know, I know, you guys can't see the romance in that, but still!" He turns around. "Guys? Guys! Hey, wait up!" He leaps off after his friends.
/
The soothsayer is stirring soup in a large pot, in her new home after Lord Shen's defeat by the Dragon Warrior. She then looks up upon hearing a knock at the door. Picking up her cane, she goes to answer, but finds no one outside, just a heart-shaped box. "A Valentine? For me?" All the times she's looked into her bowl to see the future, she never saw this coming. Looking around for the unknown deliverer, she picks up the box and lifts up the lid. Taking a moment to register what she sees, she chuckles and replaces the lid, before returning to the interior of her hut.
Someone very thoughtful has given her a heart shaped box of high quality silk cloths!
The end.
AN: Hahaha, when I came up with this story, I thought of how cute it would be, since the soothsayer seems to enjoy sampling Lord Shen's silk robes in the film, and since the global favourite food of goats is reputed to be clothing, if she were given a heart-shaped box of silks, as opposed to chocolates. Well, I hope everyone enjoyed, and happy Valentine's Day to all!