Nintendo owns Link, Zelda, Fox, Falco, Mr. Game&Watch, Donkey Kong, Mario, Luigi, Dr. Mario, Ganondorf, Bowser, Peach, Samus, Y. Link, Kirby, Jigglypuff, Pikacu, Pichu, Mewtwo, Ness, the Ice Climbers, Captain Falcon, Sheik, Samus Aran, Yoshi, Master Hand, Crazy Hand, Giga Bowser, every single game these characters have appeared in, and especially SSBM.
This is a rather strange story. It's Roy/Marth, but it's not yaio, shounen-ai, or slash. (I really hope I spelled the Japanese words right) How does that work? Read on, and find out. As to how I came up with it, I was playing SSBM with a friend, and he remarked on how Roy looks a bit like a... ah, but that would be telling, wouldn't it?
Marth and Link watched the screen as Sheik went through All-Star mode. Occasionally, they took a sip of the tall Pina-Coladas that sat in front of them.
"Link, don't you think it's odd that Zelda can change sex whenever she wants to? One minute she's a beautiful girl, the next a man. That would kind of throw a damper on a relationship with someone, wouldn't it?" Marth asked, watching as said man went homicidal maniac on Samus's ass.
"Yeah, Marth. I could see how that would affect a human relationship. But it doesn't do anything to a Hylian relationship, especially since all Hylians can change sex if they want." Link looked up from his drink and gave a little half-smile.
"You're joking."
"I'm not."
"I bet you… anything you want, that you can't transform."
"I wouldn't do that, if I was you."
"Chicken." Marth laughed. "I bet you, next week's wages that you can't turn into a girl."
"Well, if that's what you want, then fine. I accept your bet." The two shook hands, both of them thinking the other a fool. "But, I think we should get a witness. After all, you're incredibly drunk."
"Well so are you. Fine. I'll get a witness for our bet." Marth looked around. Zelda, who had just been smashed by Ganondorf, limped past. Roy marched towards the bar. Link and Marth linked eyes, and as one, they both nodded. "Zelda, Roy! Come over here for a second!"
"What is it, you two? Want me to lend you some rupees?" Zelda looked down her nose at the two friends.
"Will this be quick? Only I have a match to get to." Roy looked at the clock. "2 stock battle vs. Captain Falcon, in one hour."
"Oh, it should be. We made a bet. I bet my drunken pointy eared friend here next weeks wages that he can't transform into a girl like you can turn into a boy, Zelda." Zelda smiled.
"And I bet this tipsy human next weeks wages that I could." Roy laughed out loud.
"But the problem is, since we're both plastered, neither of us might remember who won the bet. So we want you two to witness it."
"Oh dear, Link. That wasn't very nice of you to do that." Zelda shook her head.
"Marth, what will you do with your winnings?" Roy asked.
"Patience. All will be revealed in the meeting room at 1800 hours."
* * *
At the appointed time, the four of them met in the meeting room. Link and Marth revised their bet, and then Link strode onto the podium. Marth called out. "Now remember, Link. No blinding us and pulling on a padded bra and dress, understood?"
"Very funny, Marth. I'll remember you said that when I'm taking Zelda to La'Maison le rouge in town with my winnings."
"Ha. Wait a second… I just figured it out. You can transform, can't you. Can I pull out? Please?"
"Sorry Marth. Prepare to lose." He pulled back his hair and smirked. "Now how does that spell go again? Oh yes. In the name of the 3 goddesses and their servants, the 18 gods, by the virtue of my power, wisdom, and courage, and by the strength of the noble blood that flows within my veins, I, your humble servant Link, wish to switch to my shadow form. Transform!" A blinding light filled the room. When it cleared, standing in Link's place on the podium was a young woman. Her corn colored hair reached down to her waist. Her figure was a perfect hourglass, and she was very chesty. She also seemed to have that bizarre Hylian ability to always look their best no matter where they are. She was wearing a dress with the Sheikah symbol over her heart. "Well, Marth?" She asked in a languorous voice that made Marth and Roy go weak at the knees. "This female enough for you?"
"Hmm. I don't know. Let me check to make sure those are real…" Marth strode up and squeezed female Link's breasts. She squealed, and slapped him. "Oh, yeah. Those are the real thing all right."
"Thanks, handsome. Zelda, care to join me in the change?"
"With pleasure, Luna." Zelda spun around. "Goddesses, as the daughter of your representative, I wish to take shadow form. Transform!" She was replaced by Sheik, who bounded up the stage, and unwrapped his mask, before kissing female Link on the cheek. "You're out of practice, Luna. Nice outfit, though."
"That's all I get, Sheik? A kiss on the cheek and some advice?" Luna pouted. Sheik grinned.
"As pretty as that makes you, I think you're disturbing your friends."
"No, no. When she transformed, I was disturbed. Now I'm scared. I really don't need the sight of one of my sparring partners acting like a… well, like a giggling school girl." Roy smirked. "But, come to think of it, you act so much like a girl anyway, are you sure this isn't your real form?"
'Oh, very funny. At least I can transform. You would probably mess it up so badly, you'd end up as a frog."
"Ha! I'll show you what I can do. In the name of the, um, 13 gods, and their servants the 5 goddesses, and by the virtue of my courage, power and, um, er, intelligence, and by the honor of the noble blood within my, um, veins, I, your master, Roy, demand that you make me into my shadow form. Transform!" Darkness filled the room. The sound of evil laughter filled the air. When they were able to see again, they looked towards Roy. He had transformed into a girl, but not at all like Link had. His rapidly developing breasts had forced their way through his shirt, and what remained of it hung uselessly around her as rags. His hair lay in tatters around her face, his loose pants were now only held on her by friction, and his cape now hung uselessly around her narrow shoulders. It seemed that when he had become a she, various negative things had happened. "Ha! See! I'm a girl. Now, how do I turn back?"
"Well, I'd tell you, Roy, but saying it would turn me back into a boy. And right now, I'm very happy like this." Luna certainly seemed happy. She had taken advantage of the darkness to jump into Sheik's arms. "It's funny, but when I'm Luna, I'm completely different from when I'm Link. Why is that, Sheik?"
"I think it's because our shadow forms are our normal form's exact opposite, personality and gender wise. We can discuss it more over dinner at La'Maison le Rouge." Luna smiled, and wrapped herself around Sheik tighter. "Roy, just say that you want to transform back to a boy. But I must warn you, the goddesses didn't sound pleased with you."
"I don't know, Roy. You look nice like that." Marth was staring open mouthed at Roy's… feminine beauty.
"Really, Marth? Cause you're kinda cute yourse… No! I want to be a boy again!" Nothing happened. "Make me male!" She remained female. "Sheik, I'm still a woman."
"Hold that pose, Sheik. I have to check something." Luna wiggled out of Sheik's grasp. She waved her hands vaguely in the air. Roy's spell resounded. "Oh dear."
"Strange. It's as if when Link becomes Luna, he's a more feminine Zelda, and when Zelda becomes Sheik, she's a more masculine Link." Marth shook his head. "You Hylians are weird."
"Quiet, Marth. I need to think. Oh yes. I think you're, how shall I put this, stuck, Roy. You mispronounced the spell so badly that the only reason you're still alive is that the goddesses thought making you into a girl permanently was the best punishment."
"You're joking, right? What if I recite the spell properly?"
"Then you would probably turn into a small book of poetry, you brainless human." Ganondorf walked in. "That's why I don't mess around with magic like that." He bowed to Luna. "How nice to see you again, Luna." He turned back towards Roy. "Do you know what damage you caused? Bowser was battling Crazy Hand, and they both turned into silk stockings. Mewtwo tried to use Shadow Ball on Ness, but now they're both tiny frogs. My magic backfired, and my left hand went all scaly for a while. What did you say?"
Luna waved her hands again. Roy's voice spoke once more. When it was finished, Ganon shook his head. "I suggest you go buy some girl's clothing, because you'll be stuck like that for, oh, I'd say forever."
"Forever? Noooooooo!" Roy shrieked.
"Luna, I'm afraid we should turn back. Then why don't you and Marth go get Roy girl's stuff, and bring it to a spare dorm."
"I'm afraid you're right. We can have dinner some other time, Sheik." Luna turned back into Link while Sheik turned back into Zelda. "Come on, Marth."
"Dear God, Link! How can you be so cold? Our best friend just got permanently turned into a girl!"
"Better her than me. It's a nice body to visit for a while, but I wouldn't want to live in it."
"Fair enough. And on the bright side, we now have space for that training room we've always wanted!"
"Or a giant collection of swords!"
"Or a swimming pool!"
"Nil desperandum, Roy. I'm sure you'll make a fine girl. Come on, Marth!" The two friends walked off, discussing what to do with Roy's recently vacated room. Ganondorf walked out too, muttering about how he would have to find some way to turn Bowser and Mewtwo back to normal, and then find and destroy Crazy White Silk Glove, and Ness the wonder frog.
Zelda stared after them. "Men." She shook her head and turned to the crying Roy. "They mean well. At least, Link and Marth do. They're just… dealing with it in their own way. I think they believe it to be some sort of joke. When they realize that it's real, they'll be more sympathetic."
She helped the young woman to her feet. "You can't stay like that, though. I think I have some clothes that will fit you."
"I really am a girl, aren't I. Why! Why me!"
"You're just lucky, I guess. Don't worry, though. In a few days, it will seem like you've been a girl your whole life. Now let's go get you cleaned up." She led Roy to the girl's dormitory.
Well? How do you feel? Disturbed? Amused? Wanting to find a way to Australia so you can rip my head off for putting these images in your head? Tell me by pressing the blue button that says review! Press it! Press it! Press it!