Lovely Irony
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit gained from this apart from my personal satisfaction. Do not sue me.
Summary: Irony has a sick twisted sense of humour. Or so Yagyuu thought as he was caught in a chaotic mess of divorce, broken relationship, innocently demonic son and twisted destiny. Man, how he hated irony.
A/N: This is a weirdass future fanfic of which there are some illogical stuffs thrown into Tenipuri's normal insanity. Not a native speaker, not beta-ed. Read at your own risk. I have no commitment to this fic. Ciao.
Prologue
Yagyuu Hiroto hated his parents.
Okay, not really. He only hated his mother and occasionally hated his father.
His father can be pretty mischievous and fun sometimes, especially when the man behaved very ungentlemanly and downright sadistic. That never failed to turn young Hiroto to a starstruck fanboy. The moment Hiroto noticed his father's lips quirk to a predatory smirk and the usually elegantly poised shoulders dropped to a lazy slouch, Hiroto knew that his father is up to some fun. Thus, the five-years-old boy would ended up snooping around his father, trying to follow the man without being caught while observing his father worked his disastrously wonderful magic on the unsuspecting victims. Of course, he did had this vague feeling that his father knew of his snooping but the man did nothing to prevent it so Hiroto considered it as their own father-son bonding time.
Yagyuu Hiroto actually idolized his father.
He only hated the way his father kept denying the obvious.
Hiroto closed the door of his room, scowling at yet another pathetic attempt of his father to plead the royal bitch—who also known as his mother—while the woman kept on yelling and screeching. Hiroto rolled his eyes.
He personally wondered why his father decided to marry a banshee.
And why oh why his father kept insisting that he loved his mother despite the fact that Hiroto knew that his father had been sleeping around with someone else.
Haha. As if he's that stupid and ignorant.
Well, he can blame the destruction of his poor innocent eyes (and mind) to his mother. The woman constantly nagged and practically forced him to bath with his father on days off just because he hardly saw his father on the workdays and they should do something to compensate on the lost time they should've had together. Ew. Gross. He's way too old to bath with either of his parents but yet he always ended up in the bathroom with his father.
So, when the bruises started to show, Hiroto had wondered if his father was threatened or assaulted.
Though, bless his magnificent coaxing skills, he was able to get the explanation he wanted from his ever clueless and careless uncle. It only took him the right choice of puppy eyes and his wide innocent smile for Kirihara Akaya to give him the information he wanted. He also used the appropriate choice of local kid's fine arts to bribe the man to keep their little exchange a secret (alright, he didn't really need to bribe because they both knew that his Yuki-jiichan and Gen-chan would murder Akaya should the fact that he has corrupted Hiroto's young mind come to their knowledge but Hiroto really liked Akaya, okay).
He saw the hand-shaped bruises circling his father's arms.
He saw the faint scratch marks down the man's back.
He also saw the way his father seemed to be gradually happier since the bruises started appearing.
Hiroto then decided that it didn't matter that his father was cheating on his mother as long as the man was happy. Though, apparently his mother was not happy with the development.
"HIROSHI, YOU CHEATING BASTARD!"
"Megumi, please—"
Hiroto winced when he heard the sound of something crashing downstairs and frowned when he heard the pained gasp of his father. With a sigh, he grabbed the medical kit he kept on his shelves. He knew just the basics of how to use the kit but his father certainly knew how to tend his own injuries. Hiroto made his way to the stairs, and sat on the steps—close enough to listen to the one-sided arguments downstairs but was out of his parents' sight. He stretched his legs, wondering if his mother would stop attempting to murder his father with flying household items should he made his presence known. Hearing yet another enraged yell, Hiroto sighed and started to count down from ten. He decided to give the adults 10 seconds before he came down and graced them with his innocent presence. There was yet another crash and this time his father did yelp and curse in pain. Hiroto frowned deeper.
This was going too far.
He didn't understand.
He knew that his mother was cheating too. Multiple times he saw his mother brought a man home to her bed when his father had to stay overnight at the hospital or his lab. And the routine started a year ago, long before his father started seeing someone else too. She seemed happy with that other man, hence Hiroto thought it was okay as long as his father didn't know. And Hiroto also knew that his parents didn't love each other, his mother especially. Hiroto didn't understand why she made such a huge fuss over someone she didn't even love.
"Megu—,"a pained groan, "please calm down—ah, damn—Megu!"
Crash.
"I HATE YOU, HIROSHI!"
Hiroto yawned and rolled his eyes. This was getting boring. He decided that his mother wasn't that good of an actress. She exaggerated too much. And Hiroto could hear the slight joy in her words when she yelled at his father.
What a hypocrite.
Man, did he hated his mother.
Yagyuu Hiroshi never understood his son.
Don't get him wrong. He really loved the boy. He always wanted a child and when Hiroto was born on his 23rd birthday, he was ecstatic. Hiroto was the best birthday gift anyone could've ever give him and he doted on the boy so much. The boy was a carbon copy of him. Hiroto was a polite and well-mannered boy. He made Yagyuu proud with his seemingly fast developing intelligence while his quick wit and maturity never failed to awe Yagyuu.
The only thing that concerned Yagyuu was the fact that his son was extremely eccentric.
Perhaps it has something to do with the fast developing intelligence and maturity, but Yagyuu could never predict his son's behaviour. The boy was a total enigma. Not to mention that Hiroto also possessed a twisted sense of humour that did not suit the boy's age at all. Hiroto's logic never failed to baffle Yagyuu.
Which that was the case right now.
Yagyuu wiped the trickling blood down his forehead, wincing in pain when his crisp ironed sleeves rubbed against the small cut. His wife had finally stopped yelling and throwing things (something that Yagyuu was really grateful for because he had had enough injuries already) and they both were now staring at the boy who was standing between them.
"Hiro-chan, what did you just say?"
Yagyuu heard his wife stammered in disbelief and almost rolled his eyes.
Honestly, did this woman even know their son?
Yagyuu watched his son exhaled a dramatically exaggerated sigh before quirking an amused brow when the boy pointed a finger to him, those wide green eyes were still fixed on his wife. "Kaa-san…I said, if you want to kill otou-san, this is a bad idea. You'll leave tons of evidences behind."
Yep. Yagyuu Hiroshi never understood his son's logic.
"What?!" Megumi shrieked, frowning at the little boy.
Hiroto clicked his tongue in disapproval. "Evidences, my dear kaa-san. You make too much noises enough to inform our neighbor that you were arguing. If otou-san suddenly disappear or found dead tomorrow, you'll be the prime suspect. And not to mention that you attempt to maim otou-san with no elegance nor care to the mess you've created…," he toed the little patch of red on the originally pristine carpet and sighed. "Honestly, kaa-san…What's the fuss?"
Yagyuu idly wondered if he should bring his son to a therapist because this behavior was simply NOT normal. No normal children would calmly discuss this kind of thing right after barging in between their parents' arguments.
"Your father…," Megumi started with a choked sob but was cut off by her son.
"Was sleeping with someone else, I know," Hiroto sighed, scowling at the little upturn of smile on his mother's lips. This was way past his bedtime. Why must he babysat his own parents? Honestly!
Behind him, Yagyuu winced in guilt.
"See? Of course I'm angry when my husband was sleeping around with some whor—" she was cut again by the boy.
"You did the same to otou-san. Since last year," Megumi froze in shock, eyes wide as she stared at the nonchalant boy. "With that guy…what's his name again…?" Hiroto pointedly ignored the mortified woman, "ah, yes," he mocked a childish satisfactory glee, "Nakai-san, isn't it? The man you've been sleeping with every time otou-san has to stay overnight."
Hiroto beamed at his mother, all smiles and sparkles.
Megumi stiffened, eyes narrowing into a glare.
Yagyuu on the other hand, despite his shock over the revelation, almost facepalmed himself.
He would've done that if the wound on his forehead didn't sting that much.
How the hell did this boy was able to point out his mother's unfaithfulness with a smile and a look that seemed like he deserved a gold star for his effort?
"Hiroto—" Megumi's smile was strained, her face muscles stiff.
"Kaa-chan, please," Hiroto's voice was exasperated, much like a parent who was too tired of their child's shit.
Yagyuu wondered if they were the children here while the boy was the adult.
"Look. You're not happy with otou-san. Otou-san is not happy with you," Hiroto stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "and you obviously are happy with Nakai-san. Otou-san seems to have found someone who can make him happy too," Yagyuu really couldn't hide his wince at the bluntness of his son. "So, why don't you quit this farce and be true to yourself?"
"Farce—?" Yagyuu blurted out, frowning at his son.
Hiroto rolled his eyes. "Hey. We know that your marriage is an arranged marriage. You don't love each other and you only keep up this marriage for your own purposes," he huffed at Megumi. "Kaa-san, you just want freedom from your parents. They would never approve of your wild lifestyle so you marry otou-san, knowing that he will be too busy to always be around and control you, right?" Then he turned to Yagyuu. "Otou-san, you on the other hand, want your ideal socially acceptable family structure and just follow around with your parents' demands. Basically both of you wanted your parents off your backs. That's it," he narrowed his eyes almost disapprovingly. "Honestly, I'm tired of your fake affections to each other. Both of you are not that good of actors anyway…"
Both of the adults were positively stunned and slack-jawed. Yagyuu was fairly insulted too.
Megumi recovered first. "You are one weird child, brat," she sneered. "Though, you're right. I don't want this stupid farce anymore."
"Megumi!" Yagyuu scolded, moving almost automatically in front of the boy as if to shield him from the hurtful words.
Megumi laughed. "Oh, you know it too, Hiroshi. This brat is weird ever since he popped out," she glared at the young boy. "You never cry, you never make so much of a noise when you were a baby. You just stare silently at people, being a weirdass creepy baby and caused me to put up with this mother hen fussing over you 24/7," she jabbed a finger in Yagyuu's direction before turning her attention back to Hiroto, eyes narrowed in distaste. "And then you grew up as a lonely anti-social boy with that weird behavior…," she turned around and grabbed her handbag before giving a disgusted look at Hiroto. "I never want you, you know? You're the worst drunken mistake I've ever made."
Yagyuu would've slapped Megumi if Hiroto didn't clutch his arm with a restraining claw-like grip.
"I know," Hiroto said calmly, stifling another yawn. "You made it terribly obvious, kaa-san."
Megumi sneered before catching Yagyuu's gaze. "Thanks for these six years, Hiroshi. And sorry for those," she gazed wistfully at the sight of Yagyuu's wounds. "I was attempting to act like a real jealous wife," her laughed was humourless. "It shouldn't do much damage aside from minor wounds and bruises. My aim is perfect...Anyhow, send your hospital bills to me," her eyes softened a bit. "I'll come around to get my things later."
With that, Megumi left without a glance.
Yagyuu stood dumbfounded, his brain finally functioned enough to register that he was very tired and exhausted from work, there was blood trickling down his face from the wound on his forehead, he was sure there was a horrible bruise on his arm from the pot Megumi carelessly thrown at him earlier and his wife literally just walked out of his life. It finally dawned to him that he was practically divorced and a single father now.
This was too absurd to be true.
Though, the light tug on his sleeves and the wide concerned eyes of his son reminded him that this was reality, yes, his wife had left him and double yes, he had lost two relationships in one day. He was royally fucked up.
Yagyuu felt his heart twisted painfully at his own stupidity and hypocrisy.
"Otou-san?"
Yagyuu's gaze met his son's and he couldn't help but cry.
TBC...
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